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|←2013||April Fool's Day, 2014|
The Manaphin (2014) Officials in St.Pete/Clearwater, Florida reported the sighting of a "manaphin" — a manatee-dolphin hybrid (scientific name Trichechus Dolphinium), long thought to be extinct. The rare creature was spotted by a kayaker as it poked its head above the water.
The officials explained that manaphins had long been known in Central and South America where they were called the delfin de la suerte (lucky dolphin) on account of an old legend that a glimpse of the mammal was considered to bring good luck. Charles Darwin reportedly sketched a manaphin while visiting the Galapagos in 1835.
Cheeteau Perfume (2014) Cheetos, a brand of cheese-flavored, puffed cornmeal snack made by Frito-Lay, announced the launch of a perfume — Cheeteau. Taglines described it as "a wafting whiff of pungent desire," "dangerously cheesy," and "Unpasteurized. Unapologetic. Unavoidable."
Speakerphone Pregnancy Call Prank (2014) Stephen Barrows, professor of economics at Aquinas College, had a classroom rule that if your cellphone rang during class, you had to answer it on speakerphone. His students took advantage of this rule to prank him by having a female student receive a call from a "pregnancy resource center" informing her that she's pregnant. The professor's discomfort visibly increases as the call proceeds.
Citizen Kane 3-D (2014) NPR movie critic Bob Mondello reported for All Things Considered on a remake of the 1941 movie classic Citizen Kane. The new version, titled Citizen Kane 3-D, was directed by and starred Keanu Reeves, and added a martial-arts subplot to the tale of a wealthy media tycoon who dies friendless, haunted by his childhood. Mondello noted, "Perhaps it's best to think of this Kane as a reinterpretation, not a remake. Citizen Keanu, if you will."
Tigris bovis (2014) Researchers at Clemson University in South Carolina announced the successful cross-breeding of a tiger and cow to produce a new species, Tigris bovis. Despite their appearance, the breed was actually very docile. But the researchers noted that "their strange appearance has led to a 64% decrease in cow tipping, which is just unprecedented."
The Tigris bovis also had to be kept away from chickens, as it had a tendency to viciously attack them.
Beyonce offers to pay interns with selfies (2014) HerCampus, a news site for women in college, posted an announcement that Beyoncé was looking for interns to help organize the "official Beyoncé archive." She wasn't offering any financial compensation, but she did promise "the opportunity to take three selfies with Beyoncé over the course of the internship."
The announcement seemed believable enough that several media outlets picked up on the story and reported it as news. It also circulated widely on social media.
Zero Gravity Hotel Rooms (2014) Traders Hotels announced the introduction of zero-gravity hotel rooms: "Would you rather get a good night's sleep or aimlessly free-float around your hotel room? That was the question we asked our guests, and the answer was clear: our guests simply could not care less for gravity."
CERN Switches to Comic Sans (2014) CERN, the Geneva-based organization that operates the world's largest particle physics laboratory, announced that henceforth all its webpages would be written in Comic Sans. CERN Head of Communications James Gillies noted, "We thought the most effective way to communicate our research into the fundamental structure of matter at the very boundaries of technology was by changing the font." He added, "This is a serious laboratory, with a serious research agenda... And it makes the letters look all round and squishy."
CERN added that all especially important physics results would be accompanied online by animations of little clappy hands.
Beard Glitter (2014) Beard Glitter. Offered for sale by the Texas Beard Company as an April 1 only special.
Looking for the formula to make your beard more fierce and fabulous. Search no further. All new Texas Beard Company Beard Glitter represents the finest product in the entire Beard Glitter industry. Get yours and get your Glamour on today!
Why doesn’t America read anymore? (2014) On its Facebook page, NPR News shared a link to an article with the provocative title, "Why Doesn't America Read Anymore?" The link generated hundreds of comments. Some agreed with the premise. Others disagreed. But what these responses shared in common was that the people who posted them apparently hadn't clicked through to look at the article itself. If they had, they would have discovered an announcement that read, "We sometimes get the sense that some people are commenting on NPR stories that they haven't actually read. If you are reading this, please like this post and do not comment on it. Then let's see what people have to say about this 'story.'"
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