Hoax Museum Blog: eBay

Nothing For Sale — A guy selling nothing on eBay is promoting it as the dumbest eBay auction ever. Since the idea isn't new (nothing has been sold on eBay before, as even he admits), it may just live up to the claim. The seller writes:

Rather than put up some arbitrary item that's worthless and intangible, I figured I'd just put up something of equivalent value: nothing. You are bidding on absolutely nothing. I won't send you anything if you win the auction. Shipping on this particular item is free. I will send you exactly what is described here, including no item and no packaging.

What gets me is that he then becomes all fussy and uptight about possible hoax bids. As if he would actually have something to lose if a hoax bidder won the auction.

Was the Forehead Ad Auction a Hoax? — Adrants reports on an interesting rumor. The recent forehead-ad auction on eBay may have been a hoax. Andrew Fischer, the guy who successfully auctioned his forehead for $37,375, seems to have had connections to SnoreStop (the company that won the auction) long before the auction occurred. Apparently he went to college with the daughter of SnoreStop's CEO... and the two of them colluded to pull off this pr stunt. The rumor has the ring of truth to it, because as Adrants says:

This entire thing was very iffy and scammy and media savvy, they even had a PR firm ready to give out photos in a jiffy. Who arranged all this to happen with such magic speed?

Plus, the idea of selling ad space on your forehead was hardly new. It had been done before, even on eBay. So it puzzled me why this guy in particular received so much attention. If it were all a carefully organized pr stunt, that would explain why.

More eBay Stuff: Wonder Woman’s Airplane — Maybe I should just change the name of this site to the Museum of eBay Hoaxes. After all, there seems to be an endless supply of them. (actually, a weblog devoted to weird online auctions really might be interesting, though I'd be surprised if something like that doesn't already exist). Anyway, I've received a couple of emails giving me a heads up about even more eBay hoaxes. First, Lillian alerted me to a woman selling a 'schizophrenic's past'. But the auction had already been pulled by the time I checked. Then Steve emailed me about this auction in eBay motors of "Wonder Woman's Invisible Airplane". The accompanying picture is the best thing about it. Somewhat reminiscent of the New Stealth Bomber photo.

Advertise On My Pregnant Belly — So where will this trend end? We've had head-vertising, ass-vertising, and tadoos (okay, tadoos were a hoax). So it shouldn't be any surprise that one woman is pioneering pregnant-belly-vertising on eBay. Is there any part of the body that advertisers won't pay to plaster their message on? Probably not. But is this woman going to walk around with her belly showing? Even if it's cold outside? It is Winter, after all.

Man Sells Left Nut on eBay — A guy from Texas is selling his left nut on eBay so that he can buy a tractor. Ha Ha. It's a peanut. But I think I see the face of Jesus on it.

Forehead Ad Blocker — Hot on the heels of the latest guy who was auctioning off advertising space on his forehead, comes this eBay entrepreneur who has invented Forehead Ad Blockers.

there is a new type of advertising that is rapidly gaining ground: forehead advertising. These ads will be inescapable, especially if you have to visually interact with that soulless human posing as a walking billboard. That is, unless you have: The Forehead Ad Blocker™
Portable! No heavier than a standard pair of safety glasses!
Adjustable! Blocks forehead ads regardless of their height! Just raise or lift your head!
Patent-pending technology!

(via Adrants)

Toilet Paper Rejected By Beatles — Up for sale on eBay is a roll of toilet paper rejected by the Beatles. It supposedly once occupied the toilet in the E.M.I. Abbey Road Studios in 1962 when the Beatles were recording there, but it was removed because the Beatles found it to be too hard and shiny. Plus, it had E.M.I. printed on it, which the Fab Four thought to be a bit strange. Bidding has already reached over £5,000. If you're a Beatles fan it would be a pretty cool souvenir, but my question is how anyone can be sure that this is the actual roll removed from the bathroom? What if it's just an old roll of E.M.I. toilet paper?

LA Times on Ghosts and eBay — The LA Times has just discovered something that I've been saying for ages: haunted stuff sells well on eBay. As they put it: "Having exhausted bad taste and banality, it appears EBay sellers have moved on to a new marketing strategy — the paranormal. Everything "haunted" is so hot, EBay could launch a new category." But still, the LA Times is only seeing half the story here. What's interesting is not just that people are selling lots of haunted things on eBay. After all, there's always been a market for the paranormal. What's interesting is the new market for haunted junk that eBay has created. Take any old crap that's been collecting dust around your house: an old jar, a Coke can, a broken toaster. Slap a haunted label on it, make up a story about it, and hey presto, sell it on eBay for hundreds, maybe even thousands of dollars.

Miracle M&M — I, like everyone else, should stop posting about these miracle foods that keep appearing on eBay. It's only encouraging their proliferation. But I just can't stop myself. So here's the latest one: A Miracle M&M. The seller says:

Purchasing a handful of M&M from vending machine, I came across this very special M&M that I believe to be a likeness of Jesus with a crown on his head. This has been a life changing event for me. I am hoping that all of you see what I see.

Elvis Water Sells for $455 — This is of interest only as yet more proof that the sell-junk-on-eBay gag will never, ever end:

Wade Jones of North Carolina says he snared a plastic cup from which Elvis Presley drank at a concert in 1977 and kept the cup and the water for 27 years before selling the remaining few tablespoons of water on eBay. The winning bid for the water was $455. He says he won't sell the cup.

Alien Bacteria on eBay — Here's the latest eBay oddity. It's 'Magic Air' that grows alien bacteria and makes your feet swell up:
This glass was left outside by one of my kids during a solar eclipse. When I retrieved it I noticed that it weighed over 10 pounds. I didn't notice any contents but tried pouring it out and spilled some of the "Magic Air" on my left foot. My shoe grew from a size 11 to a 17 DDD in less than 15 seconds. I ceased pouring any more of the Magic Air out and placed the Haunted Purple Glass in my cupboard.
It's already sold, but it sounds like he has a limitless supply of this 'Magic Air' for future auctions.

Judge Auctioned on eBay — The latest weirdness on eBay involves a woman, Janet Schoenberg, who put Judge Jerald R. Klein of the New York City Housing Court up for sale, free worldwide shipping included. Why did she do this? Because he had been involved in the legal process whereby she was evicted from her East Village apartment, and this was her way of getting back at him. She listed his sale under "Sporting goods, archery, arrows, shafts" (shafts... get it?). The hoax auction wasn't caught by eBay until bidding had already reached $127.50. Now Judge Klein is considering whether he should pursue legal action against Ms. Schoenberg. But the question is: would listing him for sale be considered as libel, or would it be protected as a form of parody? The NY Times got an opinion from a lawyer who thinks it's potentially libelous.

Ghost Cane Sold for $65,000 — So goldenpalace.com, the same online casino that shelled out $28,000 for the Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese Sandwich last month, has now bought the haunted walking cane for $65,000. It occurs to me that this casino is rapidly building a Museum of Hoaxes all of its own. They're becoming the P.T. Barnum's of the 21st Century.

Grandfather’s Ghost on eBay — Yet another ghost is up for sale on eBay. This one has received huge amounts of media attention (stories about it on CNN, MSNBC, etc.) thanks to a sob story that goes along with it. Last year this woman's father died. Now her eight-year-old son Collin thinks that the ghost of his grandfather is still living in the house. So the highest bidder will get the ghost of the grandfather (plus the grandfather's walking stick). The one condition is that the winning bidder has to write a letter to Collin assuring him that the ghost has relocated. I have just a few things to say about this. First of all, the really scary thing about this auction is the amazingly huge font that the woman feels compelled to write in. What's up with that? (oops, wrong auction). Second, the woman says that her father was a nice guy, but Collin thinks the grandfather's ghost is evil. In situations like this, the kid always knows best. Therefore, the ghost is evil. And finally, will an evil ghost that isn't trapped in some kind of physical container (a jar, coke can, toaster, etc.) willingly move houses? Unlikely. So all you're really getting is the walking stick. And the woman doesn't even provide a picture of that.

In the Wake of Grilled Cheese Mary — Following the $28,000 sale of that Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese Sandwich, it seems like it's been loony season on eBay (if it was ever NOT loony season on eBay, that is). Among the more memorable Grilled Cheese Mary Wannabes have been the Jesus Fish Stick, the NutriGrain cereal that looks like ET, and the piece of popcorn that looks like the Virgin Mary holding Baby Jesus. Buck Wolf, in his weekly column on ABC News, points out some miracle foods from years past that have beguiled the public, including the Tennessee Nun Bun (a cinnamon bun that looks like Mother Teresa), the Miracle Tortilla of New Mexico (a tortilla that looks like Jesus), and the Holy Eggplant of India (an eggplant that spells out 'Allah' in urdu script).

Virgin Mary Sandwich — The auction of a ten-year-old grilled cheese sandwich bearing the image of the Virgin Mary has been pulled from eBay. The sandwich was put up for sale by Diana Duyser who claims that in the ten years since she made the sandwich and took one bite out of it (before noticing the face of the Virgin), it has miraculously never grown any mold. eBay pulled the auction because it claims that it doesn't allow joke listings (that's news to me). Looking at the sandwich, I can definitely see a face, but it doesn't look like the Virgin Mary. To me it looks more like a movie star from the 30s or 40s. Myrna Loy, perhaps. She should have said it was haunted. Would have been no problems then, because eBay definitely allows haunted stuff.
Update: Here's another virgin mary sandwich on eBay.
Update 2: And here's the original Virgin Mary Sandwich, back up for sale. Most of the bidding must still be a hoax, because who's really going to pay $69,000 for an old cheese sandwich?

Porcelain Doll Possessed by the Dead — Someday I'm going to get tired of checking out the haunted things for sale on eBay, but not yet (I'm easily amused). So here's the latest haunted offering. It's a Porcelain Doll Possessed By the Dead. I've got to hand it to the seller. That's a spooky looking doll. And the story that accompanies it is pretty good as well.

Haunted House on eBay — I've seen many haunted things offered up for sale on eBay: haunted glass jars, haunted Coke cans, haunted toasters, haunted rubber duckys, even a haunted Gmail account (which, I'll now admit, I offered $10 for, but got outbid). So it seems inevitable that someone would finally try to auction an entire haunted house on the site. But based on what we're told in the article, the woman's evidence for supernatural possession seems a little sketchy. A few flying objects and weird noises. That's it. She's going to have to do better than that if she wants the serious haunted curiosity collectors, like Michael Jackson, to step up and start bidding.

Was the eBay Wedding Invitation Auction a Hoax? — Last week this was the big thing on the internet: some guy in Scotland was selling invitations on eBay to a wedding he didn't want to go to. He said that the groom was a former mate of his, but the bride was a "dog." Bidding on the tickets reached £400, and that was with strict controls to make sure all the bids were genuine. But last night Twinklydog (as the guy called himself) cancelled the auction, admitting that the bride was his former girlfriend and that he was still in love with her. He said he was going to the wedding after all, in a last minute attempt to win her back. I'm undecided about whether the auction was genuine or a hoax all along. I guess as long as Twinklydog remains anonymous we'll never know the real story.

Irish Ghost in a Bottle — If you hurry, you still have time to bid on the latest eBay sensation: a genuine Irish Ghost in a bottle (as opposed to a fake Irish ghost in a bottle). When I saw this, it immediately conjured up fond memories for me of the original Ghost in a Jar, but this new item seems to have a far longer pedigree than the Ghost in a Jar did. It is said to contain the ghost of a rogue 19th century landlord who took his own life after getting a young girl pregnant. And this is the best part of all: it's caught the attention of Michael Jackson, who reportedly is bidding on it. The price is already up to £1,550. It'll be interesting to see how much it ends up selling for.