Hoax Museum Blog: eBay

Britney’s Wedding Night Skivvies — Britney Spears' wedding-night underwear is up for sale on eBay, nabbed by someone working on the catering staff at the house where she stayed. It's guaranteed to be 100% authentic, so I guess it can't be a hoax. Right? Not like her used chewing gum that was up for sale about a month ago. Better bid on this fast before the auction is pulled by eBay.

Double-Sided Laptop Display — The eBay seller of this laptop with two display screens claims that his strange invention is the "most exciting and freshest idea to hit the technology market." True, I've definitely been in situations where this would have come in handy. But the fatal flaw in the idea is that it doesn't do anything which a projection device or video output port wouldn't do just as well, for a lot cheaper. Which leaves one wondering if this guy seriously believed that anyone would offer him $850,000 for this invention, or whether it was all just a joke.

Britney Spears Used Chewing Gum — Britney Spears' used chewing gum is the latest craze on eBay. Just do an eBay keyword search for Britney's Gum and all kinds of stuff comes up. Apparently there must be hordes of people following Britney around, devotedly picking up her gum (probably are). When I saw the article about Britney's gum, I actually thought it was old news. Didn't someone sell a piece of her used gum about a year or two ago? Or maybe I'm thinking of the time someone sold a piece of french toast NOT eaten by Justin Timberlake; or the time someone sold Paris Hilton's pubic hair. So much fake celebrity detritus constantly being sold on eBay. It's hard to keep track of it all.

Loch Ness Air — Here's an eBay auction I'm sorry I missed: some guy trying to sell a box of Loch Ness air... the same air that Nessie breathes. He didn't have any takers. What gets me is that it doesn't even sound like the box was tightly sealed, so all the Loch Ness air would have leaked out by the time it arrived at its destination. But although the market for Loch Ness air hasn't taken off, there's apparently quite a strong demand for bottles of Loch Ness water. Hey, I'm going to be in Loch Ness in two weeks, so if anyone wants me to pick them up some Loch Ness water while I'm there, put in your orders now. Loch Ness soil samples are also a possibility. I'll collect any water and soil samples once I'm done sampling Nessie's Monster Mash Beer.

Transformers Comic Book Predicted 9/11 — Here's something that brings back memories of the Nostradamus predictions that swirled around in the weeks after 9/11. Some guy is claiming that comic book artist Simon Furman predicted 9/11 in a Transformers comic book published on Sep. 14, 1991. His main proof: a picture of a transformer (rodimus prime) hanging between the destroyed towers of the World Trade Center. He's selling the comic book that contains this picture (as well as some other stuff) on eBay UK. He launches into some convoluted explanation of other ways in which his Transformers comic book predicted 9/11, and then he winds up his sales pitch with this startling, though rather garbled, claim:

wouldn't you like some glimpse into future events, these comics if used to predict events from week to week, they are currently around issue 230, this is august 1989 (2004), and they run until 18th feb 1992 (2007), that means there are over 100 more issues to go, thats almost three years of predictions, i can send you information of exactly what to look for in them, how to make sense of the vague and cryptic predictions, and will allways answer emails from anyone who wants to help understand these better.


In other words, he's saying that these old Transformers comics are like windows onto the future. But the question you have to ask is why, if this guy can see into the future via his comic books, isn't he taking advantage of that ability? Why wouldn't he use this power to enrich himself (or at least warn the world about upcoming disasters) instead of giving it away for a pittance on eBay? (via Metaphorge)

Haunted Rubber Ducky — I've said it before and I'll say it again: supernatural possession is the ultimate way to add value to anything you want to sell on eBay. Just claim that it's haunted, then sit back and watch the bids roll in. The latest spirit-plagued item up for sale is a haunted rubber ducky. It supposedly attacked the seller's son in the bathtub. The price is already up to $41.50, and there's only one day left to become the new owner of this spooky curiosity... if you dare.

Haunted Gmail Account — Confirming my theory that haunting is the ultimate way to add value to any product on eBay, a haunted Gmail account is now up for sale on the auction site. Of course, the value of Gmail accounts is plummeting now that so many of them are available. But a haunted Gmail account that places a curse on whomever owns it... that's something special. I'm tempted to make an offer on it myself. (thanks to Lothar in the Hoax Forum for this find)

Internet For Sale — Someone has placed the internet up for sale on eBay. The seller assures us that "This is serious. Comes with original certificate of authenticity." According to the picture accompanying the auction, the internet looks a bit like a shiny black ball. The certificate of authenticity, however, looks like it's been printed out on a home inkjet printer. If memory serves me, this joke about putting the internet up for sale has been done before, and yet the current seller has already made at least $27, so they're the one laughing all the way to the bank. (via Red Ferret Journal)

Ian Hislop Mania — Got this contribution from Chris 'Crispy' Philpot in the UK:

BBC Television in the UK showed an episode of topical news quiz 'Have I Got News For You' that picked up on the ex-wife's knickers on eBay story. It said how useless tat could reach an astonishing price - going on to show the auction... for a signed photograph of Ian Hislop, a team captain on the show. At the time it had no bids and 6 hits.... Bidding went crazy - it started off quite sensibly and climbed to £5,000 without trouble. Then the silly bids flew in, and eventually the price reached £10,000,000 before bids were slowly pulled.

I don't think this is the actual photo that sparked the mania, but it's an identical copy. Anyway, the story continues:

this has started a new hoax on eBay - putting 'Ian Hislop' in the item title or selling bad copies of the photograph!

The following auctions are a mere sampling of this strange new Ian Hislop mania that's gripping eBay UK:

• A picture of some guy's hairy knees, whose sole virtue is that they're 'not Ian Hislop's': £122.00


• Another signed Ian Hislop photo: £10,000,000.00


• Ian Hislop himself, in a box (air holes optional): £10,000,000.00


• Scrambled egg eaten by Ian Hislop (or rather, spit out by him): currently only £0.99


• Photograph of a potato that may possibly look a little like Ian Hislop: currently only £1.04

UPS Uniform Hoax — Mark wrote to let me know that the UPS Uniform Email Hoax is making the rounds again (the corporate security at his office thoughtfully forwarded it to everyone he works with). This hoax is an old one, going back almost two years. Basically the email claims that terrorists managed to purchase $32,000 worth of UPS uniforms on eBay, so everyone should have their eyes out for phony UPS employees delivering packages. The latest version of the message has the fake signature of a Homeland Security Official appended to the bottom of it, making it seem even more authentic. The reality is that no such huge sale of UPS uniforms ever took place, and eBay does its best to stop the sale of items such as UPS uniforms. Although I just did a search on eBay for 'UPS Uniforms' and was able to find one extremely good looking uniform. Hopefully eBay will pull this auction soon, but in the meantime, watch out for any snoopy-sized UPS employee trying to deliver you a package.

Ex-Wife’s Knickers — Supposedly to get even with his soon-to-be-ex wife, who's been cheating on him, a man is selling her knickers on eBay. Except it's not eBay. Just a mock-up of it. Now if the (fake) seller had taken pictures of himself wearing her underwear (taking a page from Wedding Dress Guy), it might have been funnier. (via Adrants)

Recreated Ark of the Covenant — Since April, at least, a seller has been trying to auction off a recreated Ark of the Covenant on eBay. Apparently no one is willing to take it off his hands because bidding keeps ending without a winner, and he just keeps relisting the thing. This, despite the fact that the recreated Ark possesses some remarkable powers. It gives its owner the power to heal by placing on of hands. It allows the owner to converse directly with God. Oh, and it explodes cameras! (that last feature alone is worth the $99,999,999.00 price). Unfortunately, the Ark may soon be called upon to 'obliterate mankind,' so if you do buy it, you probably won't have long to play with it. (Thanks to Emily for pointing this auction out to me).

Angel Soft Baby With Gaping Wound — Here's your chance to bid on a rare collectible item: an unopened 24-pack of Angel Soft toilet paper that shows the baby sporting a gaping flesh wound. The seller suggests it's a manufacturer's misprint. Or maybe the toilet paper is cursed (the seller didn't suggest this, but he should have, since everyone knows that demonically possessed items sell like hotcakes on eBay) . It could be like those photographs in The Omen that foretold how people were going to die. Whatever it is, misprint or mark of the devil, the wound seems a little hoaxy to me, though I suppose a printing error could cause something like this.

The Lavender iPod — For a brief while, there was a chance to buy a Lavender iPod on eBay. But now the item has been pulled. Probably because lavender iPods don't exist. (via engadget)

Wedding Dress Guy — My last shred of faith that there is anything real remaining on the internet has now gone. Wedding dress guy has turned out to be a hoax. Like seemingly everyone else on the internet, I recently checked out his eBay auction of his ex-wife's wedding dress. I read through his rant about his ex-wife and enjoyed his remarks, such as his statement that he was selling the dress "to get enough money for maybe a couple of Mariners tickets and some beer." I also laughed at the pictures of him posing in the white dress. I didn't suspect that the story was a fake (I should have known better!), which of course it is, as Nicole Brodeur uncovered in this Seattle Times article. Wedding Dress Guy is named Larry Star. He mentioned a sister in the story, but she doesn't exist. He mentioned that he had no kids with his ex-wife, but he does. I guess this is another case of how you can sell anything on eBay, as long as you weave a good story around it. And the dress did sell: for $3,850. For that price, the buyer gets a used wedding dress and a phony story. It's amazing what some people will spend their money on.

Paris Hilton’s Pubic Hair — Celebrity body parts seem to be the thing to sell on eBay. A few weeks ago George Best's liver was up for sale. Now we have Paris Hilton's pubic hair. According to the description on the auction, "This bundle of Pubic Hair was taken from Paris Hilton's bathroom sink at one of her hotels when she visited Australia late last year, Surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!! She isn't a natural blonde!!!!!!!!!!!!" The auction was yanked by eBay soon after it was put up, confirming that it was almost definitely a hoax. But a screenshot of it can be seen over at Fleshbot (safe for work). I just watched American Wedding which has a scene involving pubic hair in a hotel bathroom, and I suspect this auction might have been inspired by that.

Million-Dollar Phone Number — The phone number 135 8585 8585 recently went up for sale on the Chinese internet auction site EachNet.com, and fetched the staggering price of $1.1 million. The appeal of the number is apparently that when spoken in Chinese it sounds similar to the phrase "let me be rich be rich be rich be rich." Well, whoever shelled out that much for the number is going to be a little bit poorer now (though it looks like the phrase worked for the previous owner). But you have to suspect that it was a hoax bid.

Scottish Castle For Sale, Again — If you missed the chance to bid on the Scottish Castle that was being sold on eBay, don't worry. You have another chance. The first auction was cancelled after it was flooded by hoax bidders, including a guy living in a two-bedroom flat in Ohio who bid a cool £8 million. Why do people even bother auctioning these high-ticket items on eBay? They attract hoax bidders like a dog attracts fleas.

Coke Can with Spirits — We've seen ghosts in jars being sold on eBay, as well as ghosts in toasters. Now you have a chance to buy a ghost in a Coke can. And while you're at it, don't pass up the opportunity to bid on this videotape of a meeting with an 'interdimensional alien.' Minimum bid is only $1,300,000.