Rent My Son —
For all those occasions when a kid would come in handy (I can't think of any), RentMySon.com
offers the solution. Just call them up and they'll send a kid over. They rent out kids for proms, birthday parties, father/son events, etc. And if you'd like to make a little bit of extra money by hiring out your kid, they'll arrange that too. (Yes, the site is a hoax).