Hoax Museum Blog: eBay

In the Wake of Grilled Cheese Mary — Following the $28,000 sale of that Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese Sandwich, it seems like it's been loony season on eBay (if it was ever NOT loony season on eBay, that is). Among the more memorable Grilled Cheese Mary Wannabes have been the Jesus Fish Stick, the NutriGrain cereal that looks like ET, and the piece of popcorn that looks like the Virgin Mary holding Baby Jesus. Buck Wolf, in his weekly column on ABC News, points out some miracle foods from years past that have beguiled the public, including the Tennessee Nun Bun (a cinnamon bun that looks like Mother Teresa), the Miracle Tortilla of New Mexico (a tortilla that looks like Jesus), and the Holy Eggplant of India (an eggplant that spells out 'Allah' in urdu script).

Virgin Mary Sandwich — The auction of a ten-year-old grilled cheese sandwich bearing the image of the Virgin Mary has been pulled from eBay. The sandwich was put up for sale by Diana Duyser who claims that in the ten years since she made the sandwich and took one bite out of it (before noticing the face of the Virgin), it has miraculously never grown any mold. eBay pulled the auction because it claims that it doesn't allow joke listings (that's news to me). Looking at the sandwich, I can definitely see a face, but it doesn't look like the Virgin Mary. To me it looks more like a movie star from the 30s or 40s. Myrna Loy, perhaps. She should have said it was haunted. Would have been no problems then, because eBay definitely allows haunted stuff.
Update: Here's another virgin mary sandwich on eBay.
Update 2: And here's the original Virgin Mary Sandwich, back up for sale. Most of the bidding must still be a hoax, because who's really going to pay $69,000 for an old cheese sandwich?

Porcelain Doll Possessed by the Dead — Someday I'm going to get tired of checking out the haunted things for sale on eBay, but not yet (I'm easily amused). So here's the latest haunted offering. It's a Porcelain Doll Possessed By the Dead. I've got to hand it to the seller. That's a spooky looking doll. And the story that accompanies it is pretty good as well.

Haunted House on eBay — I've seen many haunted things offered up for sale on eBay: haunted glass jars, haunted Coke cans, haunted toasters, haunted rubber duckys, even a haunted Gmail account (which, I'll now admit, I offered $10 for, but got outbid). So it seems inevitable that someone would finally try to auction an entire haunted house on the site. But based on what we're told in the article, the woman's evidence for supernatural possession seems a little sketchy. A few flying objects and weird noises. That's it. She's going to have to do better than that if she wants the serious haunted curiosity collectors, like Michael Jackson, to step up and start bidding.

Was the eBay Wedding Invitation Auction a Hoax? — Last week this was the big thing on the internet: some guy in Scotland was selling invitations on eBay to a wedding he didn't want to go to. He said that the groom was a former mate of his, but the bride was a "dog." Bidding on the tickets reached £400, and that was with strict controls to make sure all the bids were genuine. But last night Twinklydog (as the guy called himself) cancelled the auction, admitting that the bride was his former girlfriend and that he was still in love with her. He said he was going to the wedding after all, in a last minute attempt to win her back. I'm undecided about whether the auction was genuine or a hoax all along. I guess as long as Twinklydog remains anonymous we'll never know the real story.

Irish Ghost in a Bottle — If you hurry, you still have time to bid on the latest eBay sensation: a genuine Irish Ghost in a bottle (as opposed to a fake Irish ghost in a bottle). When I saw this, it immediately conjured up fond memories for me of the original Ghost in a Jar, but this new item seems to have a far longer pedigree than the Ghost in a Jar did. It is said to contain the ghost of a rogue 19th century landlord who took his own life after getting a young girl pregnant. And this is the best part of all: it's caught the attention of Michael Jackson, who reportedly is bidding on it. The price is already up to £1,550. It'll be interesting to see how much it ends up selling for.

Britney’s Wedding Night Skivvies — Britney Spears' wedding-night underwear is up for sale on eBay, nabbed by someone working on the catering staff at the house where she stayed. It's guaranteed to be 100% authentic, so I guess it can't be a hoax. Right? Not like her used chewing gum that was up for sale about a month ago. Better bid on this fast before the auction is pulled by eBay.

Double-Sided Laptop Display — The eBay seller of this laptop with two display screens claims that his strange invention is the "most exciting and freshest idea to hit the technology market." True, I've definitely been in situations where this would have come in handy. But the fatal flaw in the idea is that it doesn't do anything which a projection device or video output port wouldn't do just as well, for a lot cheaper. Which leaves one wondering if this guy seriously believed that anyone would offer him $850,000 for this invention, or whether it was all just a joke.

Britney Spears Used Chewing Gum — Britney Spears' used chewing gum is the latest craze on eBay. Just do an eBay keyword search for Britney's Gum and all kinds of stuff comes up. Apparently there must be hordes of people following Britney around, devotedly picking up her gum (probably are). When I saw the article about Britney's gum, I actually thought it was old news. Didn't someone sell a piece of her used gum about a year or two ago? Or maybe I'm thinking of the time someone sold a piece of french toast NOT eaten by Justin Timberlake; or the time someone sold Paris Hilton's pubic hair. So much fake celebrity detritus constantly being sold on eBay. It's hard to keep track of it all.

Loch Ness Air — Here's an eBay auction I'm sorry I missed: some guy trying to sell a box of Loch Ness air... the same air that Nessie breathes. He didn't have any takers. What gets me is that it doesn't even sound like the box was tightly sealed, so all the Loch Ness air would have leaked out by the time it arrived at its destination. But although the market for Loch Ness air hasn't taken off, there's apparently quite a strong demand for bottles of Loch Ness water. Hey, I'm going to be in Loch Ness in two weeks, so if anyone wants me to pick them up some Loch Ness water while I'm there, put in your orders now. Loch Ness soil samples are also a possibility. I'll collect any water and soil samples once I'm done sampling Nessie's Monster Mash Beer.

Transformers Comic Book Predicted 9/11 — Here's something that brings back memories of the Nostradamus predictions that swirled around in the weeks after 9/11. Some guy is claiming that comic book artist Simon Furman predicted 9/11 in a Transformers comic book published on Sep. 14, 1991. His main proof: a picture of a transformer (rodimus prime) hanging between the destroyed towers of the World Trade Center. He's selling the comic book that contains this picture (as well as some other stuff) on eBay UK. He launches into some convoluted explanation of other ways in which his Transformers comic book predicted 9/11, and then he winds up his sales pitch with this startling, though rather garbled, claim:

wouldn't you like some glimpse into future events, these comics if used to predict events from week to week, they are currently around issue 230, this is august 1989 (2004), and they run until 18th feb 1992 (2007), that means there are over 100 more issues to go, thats almost three years of predictions, i can send you information of exactly what to look for in them, how to make sense of the vague and cryptic predictions, and will allways answer emails from anyone who wants to help understand these better.


In other words, he's saying that these old Transformers comics are like windows onto the future. But the question you have to ask is why, if this guy can see into the future via his comic books, isn't he taking advantage of that ability? Why wouldn't he use this power to enrich himself (or at least warn the world about upcoming disasters) instead of giving it away for a pittance on eBay? (via Metaphorge)

Haunted Rubber Ducky — I've said it before and I'll say it again: supernatural possession is the ultimate way to add value to anything you want to sell on eBay. Just claim that it's haunted, then sit back and watch the bids roll in. The latest spirit-plagued item up for sale is a haunted rubber ducky. It supposedly attacked the seller's son in the bathtub. The price is already up to $41.50, and there's only one day left to become the new owner of this spooky curiosity... if you dare.

Haunted Gmail Account — Confirming my theory that haunting is the ultimate way to add value to any product on eBay, a haunted Gmail account is now up for sale on the auction site. Of course, the value of Gmail accounts is plummeting now that so many of them are available. But a haunted Gmail account that places a curse on whomever owns it... that's something special. I'm tempted to make an offer on it myself. (thanks to Lothar in the Hoax Forum for this find)

Internet For Sale — Someone has placed the internet up for sale on eBay. The seller assures us that "This is serious. Comes with original certificate of authenticity." According to the picture accompanying the auction, the internet looks a bit like a shiny black ball. The certificate of authenticity, however, looks like it's been printed out on a home inkjet printer. If memory serves me, this joke about putting the internet up for sale has been done before, and yet the current seller has already made at least $27, so they're the one laughing all the way to the bank. (via Red Ferret Journal)

Ian Hislop Mania — Got this contribution from Chris 'Crispy' Philpot in the UK:

BBC Television in the UK showed an episode of topical news quiz 'Have I Got News For You' that picked up on the ex-wife's knickers on eBay story. It said how useless tat could reach an astonishing price - going on to show the auction... for a signed photograph of Ian Hislop, a team captain on the show. At the time it had no bids and 6 hits.... Bidding went crazy - it started off quite sensibly and climbed to £5,000 without trouble. Then the silly bids flew in, and eventually the price reached £10,000,000 before bids were slowly pulled.

I don't think this is the actual photo that sparked the mania, but it's an identical copy. Anyway, the story continues:

this has started a new hoax on eBay - putting 'Ian Hislop' in the item title or selling bad copies of the photograph!

The following auctions are a mere sampling of this strange new Ian Hislop mania that's gripping eBay UK:

• A picture of some guy's hairy knees, whose sole virtue is that they're 'not Ian Hislop's': £122.00


• Another signed Ian Hislop photo: £10,000,000.00


• Ian Hislop himself, in a box (air holes optional): £10,000,000.00


• Scrambled egg eaten by Ian Hislop (or rather, spit out by him): currently only £0.99


• Photograph of a potato that may possibly look a little like Ian Hislop: currently only £1.04

UPS Uniform Hoax — Mark wrote to let me know that the UPS Uniform Email Hoax is making the rounds again (the corporate security at his office thoughtfully forwarded it to everyone he works with). This hoax is an old one, going back almost two years. Basically the email claims that terrorists managed to purchase $32,000 worth of UPS uniforms on eBay, so everyone should have their eyes out for phony UPS employees delivering packages. The latest version of the message has the fake signature of a Homeland Security Official appended to the bottom of it, making it seem even more authentic. The reality is that no such huge sale of UPS uniforms ever took place, and eBay does its best to stop the sale of items such as UPS uniforms. Although I just did a search on eBay for 'UPS Uniforms' and was able to find one extremely good looking uniform. Hopefully eBay will pull this auction soon, but in the meantime, watch out for any snoopy-sized UPS employee trying to deliver you a package.

Ex-Wife’s Knickers — Supposedly to get even with his soon-to-be-ex wife, who's been cheating on him, a man is selling her knickers on eBay. Except it's not eBay. Just a mock-up of it. Now if the (fake) seller had taken pictures of himself wearing her underwear (taking a page from Wedding Dress Guy), it might have been funnier. (via Adrants)

Recreated Ark of the Covenant — Since April, at least, a seller has been trying to auction off a recreated Ark of the Covenant on eBay. Apparently no one is willing to take it off his hands because bidding keeps ending without a winner, and he just keeps relisting the thing. This, despite the fact that the recreated Ark possesses some remarkable powers. It gives its owner the power to heal by placing on of hands. It allows the owner to converse directly with God. Oh, and it explodes cameras! (that last feature alone is worth the $99,999,999.00 price). Unfortunately, the Ark may soon be called upon to 'obliterate mankind,' so if you do buy it, you probably won't have long to play with it. (Thanks to Emily for pointing this auction out to me).

Angel Soft Baby With Gaping Wound — Here's your chance to bid on a rare collectible item: an unopened 24-pack of Angel Soft toilet paper that shows the baby sporting a gaping flesh wound. The seller suggests it's a manufacturer's misprint. Or maybe the toilet paper is cursed (the seller didn't suggest this, but he should have, since everyone knows that demonically possessed items sell like hotcakes on eBay) . It could be like those photographs in The Omen that foretold how people were going to die. Whatever it is, misprint or mark of the devil, the wound seems a little hoaxy to me, though I suppose a printing error could cause something like this.