Hoax Museum Blog: Celebrities

Britney Spears Used Chewing Gum — Britney Spears' used chewing gum is the latest craze on eBay. Just do an eBay keyword search for Britney's Gum and all kinds of stuff comes up. Apparently there must be hordes of people following Britney around, devotedly picking up her gum (probably are). When I saw the article about Britney's gum, I actually thought it was old news. Didn't someone sell a piece of her used gum about a year or two ago? Or maybe I'm thinking of the time someone sold a piece of french toast NOT eaten by Justin Timberlake; or the time someone sold Paris Hilton's pubic hair. So much fake celebrity detritus constantly being sold on eBay. It's hard to keep track of it all.

Quentin Tarantino’s Weblog — Quentin Tarantino has supposedly joined the ranks of bloggers, having set up his own blog over on blogspot. I guess even though he's a multi-millionaire Hollywood director, he couldn't afford to spring for a fancier setup... had to go for the blogspot thing (that's also conveniently anonymous). There's no way to prove or disprove whether Tarantino himself is really authoring this thing. The flesh-and-blood Tarantino hasn't made any public comment about it. Here's what blogger-Tarantino says about why you should believe he is who he claims to be:
I don't want to turn this into a press promotion thing and that's what I told Miramax when I started it (with their cooperation). If you really want proof this blog is genuine, you can find it by contacting Miramax or whatever -- but I'm not going to be making public announcements about the blog. If fans ask me, shit yeah I'll tell the truth, but if I make a national announcement this'll just become a publicity stint, and I never intended it to be that way. This is for the fans, and if they trust me then fine -- if they don't, all I can say is that convincing a few of them isn't worth ruining it by telling reporters who'll post it all over the 'Net and daily news. In this case the juice ain't worth the squeeze.

JoBlo of JoBlo's Movie Emporium says that he's contacted Miramax to check out if Tarantino's blog is for real, but he hasn't posted their response yet.
Update: Tarantino's publicist, Bumble Ward, confirms that blogger-Tarantino is a fake. As Ward puts it: "It's fake. The guy is doing a great job though, don't you think? And truly, I'd hate to ruin his fun. But it's fake. Quentin hardly knows what a mouse is."

William Hung Not Dead Yet — I've noted before how popular celebrity death hoaxes have become. In fact, it's kind of like a weird sign of status for a celebrity to have their death falsely reported. It shows people care, in a sick and twisted way. Britney still leads the pack, having been killed in car crashes many times, but now American Idol anti-star William Hung has joined this elite group of prematurely-reported-dead celebrities. Reports of his death via heroin overdose have been spreading all around the internet. They originated from a faux-news piece on Broken Newz. His suicide note was particularly touching: "I have no reason of living... my art which is my importance to the best everybody laugh to... I make end here... goodbye world of cruel." (via David Emery's Urban Legends and Folklore)

Be A Celeb — Fake blogs are a growing trend on the web. Just recently we saw Plain Layne exposed as Odin Soli. But now, with the advent of an online role-playing game called Be A Celeb, the fake-blog phenomenon seems to be rising to a whole new level. The goal of Be A Celeb is to create a convincing fake celebrity blog. You can choose to be whatever celebrity you like, as long as someone else hasn't already taken the celebrity. Celebrities already in play include Clay Aiken, Jessica Biel, and Kirsten Dunst. Once you've created your fake celebrity, you can then make them interact with other fake celebrities... kind of like a strange alternative reality Hollywood, or LiveJournal Celebrity Sims.
An article about this game has been posted on morons.org. I'm wondering if they'd let me play either Plain Layne or Kaycee Nicole Swenson as a character... though they'd probably say they don't qualify as 'celebrities.'... or what would happen if a real celebrity began playing themselves as a fake celebrity? The mind boggles.

Ian Hislop Mania — Got this contribution from Chris 'Crispy' Philpot in the UK:

BBC Television in the UK showed an episode of topical news quiz 'Have I Got News For You' that picked up on the ex-wife's knickers on eBay story. It said how useless tat could reach an astonishing price - going on to show the auction... for a signed photograph of Ian Hislop, a team captain on the show. At the time it had no bids and 6 hits.... Bidding went crazy - it started off quite sensibly and climbed to £5,000 without trouble. Then the silly bids flew in, and eventually the price reached £10,000,000 before bids were slowly pulled.

I don't think this is the actual photo that sparked the mania, but it's an identical copy. Anyway, the story continues:

this has started a new hoax on eBay - putting 'Ian Hislop' in the item title or selling bad copies of the photograph!

The following auctions are a mere sampling of this strange new Ian Hislop mania that's gripping eBay UK:

• A picture of some guy's hairy knees, whose sole virtue is that they're 'not Ian Hislop's': £122.00


• Another signed Ian Hislop photo: £10,000,000.00


• Ian Hislop himself, in a box (air holes optional): £10,000,000.00


• Scrambled egg eaten by Ian Hislop (or rather, spit out by him): currently only £0.99


• Photograph of a potato that may possibly look a little like Ian Hislop: currently only £1.04

Andy Has Returned… And He’s Got A Weblog — I should never have doubted that Andy Kaufman wouldn't return. He's now back from the dead (or the faux dead), and he's started a weblog. Among the things he's learned while away: alien abductions are a hoax, and he's Ann Coulter's twin. (via J-Walk)

Where’s Andy? — Today's the day Andy Kaufman is supposed to return from the dead... twenty years to the day after his 'death.' But it's only 5 pm here in California. He has a couple of hours left to make an appearance.

Dumb, or Just Playing Dumb? — Here's a question that the world's greatest minds have yet to answer: are pop stars who appear to be dumb really that dumb, or are they just faking it? For instance, does Britney Spears really not know who Yoko Ono is, or is she just pretending not to know in order to cultivate her airhead image and generate free publicity? Nancy Snow, a professor at Cal State Fullerton, says it's all an act: "People at that level are always 'on' — they know what they're saying... it's kind of a sweetheart deal between them and the media. It really helps to feed the publicity machine." (via Sexy Pop Culture)

Will Andy Kaufman Return? — Some say Andy Kaufman died on May 16, 1984. Some say he didn't. But whatever the case may be, Kaufman said that if he did fake his death, he would return 20 years later, and May 16, 2004 will be the 20th anniversary of his 'death.' In honor of this, Comic Relief will be holding an 'Andy Kaufman: Dead or Alive' show at the LA House of Blues on May 16. Perhaps Andy himself will put in an appearance. (Thanks, Julie)

Spacey’s Faux Mugging — Kevin Spacey has recanted on his claim that he was mugged in a London park at 4 am and had his cellphone stolen. What he meant to say was that he voluntarily handed over his phone to someone who asked if they could use it to call their mother, but instead ran away with it. Then Spacey tripped over his dog and cut his head. Not quite the same. But saying you were mugged sounds a little more respectable than admitting you fell for what is, quite literally, the oldest con in the book (the origin of the term con, or 'confidence scam,' dates back to the 1840s when a swindler named William Thompson would approach gentlemen on the streets of New York and ask them if they had enough confidence to lend their watch to a stranger. Upon being handed the watch, Thompson would simply walk away with it. Substitute cellphone for watch and you have what Spacey fell for.) (Thanks, Goo)

Celebrity Look-Alikes — Fake Faces is a UK look-alike agency that represents a huge number of celebrity impersonators. It's kind of fun to browse through its catalog. As John Robinson of Sore Eyes notes, some of the look-alikes are really, really bad. But some are surprisingly good. For instance, would you be able to tell if that's really Joanna Lumley (of Ab Fab fame) in the thumbnail? It's not. (via Sore Eyes and I Love Everything)

Jackson isn’t dead, nor is he touring Namibia — Sam Nujoma, President of Namibia, eagerly waited for the arrival of Michael Jackson, whom he believed was launching a 12-day tour of Africa in his country. Unfortunately, he waited and waited, and Jackson never showed up. In fact, Jackson never had any plans to visit Africa. Nujoma was the victim of misinformation. Jackson isn't even allowed to travel abroad until the case against him is settled.

Michael Jackson Isn’t Dead — Despite the claims of this faux news story, Michael Jackson isn't dead.

Paris Hilton’s Pubic Hair — Celebrity body parts seem to be the thing to sell on eBay. A few weeks ago George Best's liver was up for sale. Now we have Paris Hilton's pubic hair. According to the description on the auction, "This bundle of Pubic Hair was taken from Paris Hilton's bathroom sink at one of her hotels when she visited Australia late last year, Surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!! She isn't a natural blonde!!!!!!!!!!!!" The auction was yanked by eBay soon after it was put up, confirming that it was almost definitely a hoax. But a screenshot of it can be seen over at Fleshbot (safe for work). I just watched American Wedding which has a scene involving pubic hair in a hotel bathroom, and I suspect this auction might have been inspired by that.

Demi Moore’s Wedding Dress Browns — I remember seeing the issue of Star Magazine with Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher on the cover, both wearing white, as I was standing in the checkout line at the supermarket. It had big headlines about their rumored engagement. Turns out they weren't actually wearing white. Demi Moore was wearing a brown dress and Ashton Kutcher was wearing a pink suit. But the editors of Star digitally changed the color of their clothes to make the image fit in with the whole wedding theme. In the thumbnail you can see Demi wearing the faux white dress on the left (on the Star cover), and wearing the same dress in its true brown color on the right. The Wall Street Journal has an article about this. Meanwhile, editors of rival magazines are clucking about how they would never stoop so low, conveniently forgetting that they stoop this low all the time.

Oprah Becomes 4th Member of Holy Trinity — The major Christian denominations have jointly agreed to make Oprah Winfrey the fourth member of the Holy Trinity, thereby broadening its appeal and making it less gender-biased. "Along with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, the popular talk show host will be recognized as one person in the sacred and indivisible unity of the Godhead--or Quadhead, as the updated Trinity will now be called."

The Fake Death of Andy Kaufman — Most people think that the comedian Andy Kaufman died of lung cancer on May 16, 1984. But Enrique P. believes that Kaufman faked his death. And he's put up a website where he argues his case. (Thanks to Julie H. for the link).

MJ and JR News — Michael Jackson has set up a website that's serving as his Official Press Room. Apparently Jack the Ripper has now done the same. (Thanks to Kentaro Mori for the link)

Update: By the way, don't bother clicking on any of the links on the 'JR News' site. They all lead to spam. Evidently the JR News site is just a front for spammers.

Michael Jackson, the jokes have begun — In what is sure to be the first of many Michael Jackson-related photos and jokes circulating via email, we already have a 'Free MJ' shop that's now up on CafePress. Plus, there have been quite a few postings today on my message board dedicated to Michael Jackson's Nose.

The Naked Chef — Here's a picture of the 2004 calendar of Jamie Oliver (aka The Naked Chef). Note the suggestively placed piece of bread. This image originally appeared on the website of Boots, which is a British pharmacy. And it quickly attracted attention, at which point Boots cropped the image in order to remove the offending piece of bread. I can't find another picture of the calendar anywhere online to compare this picture to, but I'm assuming that the piece of bread must have been photoshopped in. Probably by a mischievous Boots employee.

Update 2 (11/17/03): David Emery reports that he was able to find the real version of the Jamie Oliver 2004 calendar, and it looks nothing like the fake version that appeared on the Boots website. Oh, and what I thought was a piece of bread was actually a brown paper bag that had been photoshopped.
Update 3 (11/18/03): David Emery has done some great sleuthing and discovered that the Jamie Oliver calendar being sold by Boots is absolutely real and unaltered. Boots sent him a full-size image of the calendar cover (which he was kind enough to forward along to me). It shows Jamie taking oranges out of a paper bag and peeling them. Full-size the image looks quite innocent, but shrunk down to thumbnail size, the position and shape of the paper bag becomes rather suggestive. Personally I think that whoever created that calendar must have been aware of the two ways of viewing that paper bag when they chose that image. It's an old advertising strategy: put a bit of subliminal (or not so subliminal) sexual imagery in an ad and watch the product fly off the shelf.