"Hello! Well, what is it? Yes this is — hello! I can't hear you plainly—stand closer, you know. (The idiot talks with his mouth full of dough). I say, I'm not deaf, darn you; don't holler so! Yes, this is (confound it), why can't you go slow? You want to see who? Spell it—"F, double O L—first name is April!" Oh, hell—hello! (Consigns him to regions unmentionable below)."
[The Washington Post — Apr 1, 1896]