Hoax Museum Blog: Urban Legends

Public Domain Time Travel — Tmxxine is a hardware and software project that is thinking ahead (quite literally) and has committed itself towards developing "public domain Time Travel technology," because it would obviously be quite scary if a single corporation were to gain proprietary control of time travel technology (these guys must have seen Paycheck one time too many). Sadly they report that no time machines are yet available for purchase on eBay, although "Real experimental devices are expected for 2008CE with legislation required for 2012CE."
Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2004.   Comments (1)

Crop Circle Beer — Here's something I'd really like to try, but sadly it doesn't seem to be available anywhere except a few bars in the New York region. It's Crop Circle Beer, dreamed up by Dudley Cates, Jr. who, according to this Newsday article, has always had a passion for crop circles and beer, and finally found a way to join the two interests. The beer is brewed with barley collected from fields in which crop circles have appeared. Hmmm. This is an idea I wish that I had thought of first. It would sure beat selling Loch Ness Water (though that gives me an idea... what about a taste contest pitting Crop Circle Beer head-to-head with Nessie's Monster Mash Beer? and just for fun you might want to enter Olde Frothingslosh Pale Stale Ale into the contest as well).

One poster on ratebeer.com who's actually had a chance to taste Crop Circle Beer reports that "This is quite a sweet amber ale, but balanced just enough to keep it from being too much so - slick mouthfeel with lots of caramel malt, nut and chocolate flavors - this is pretty damn good for a gimmick beer." The Canadian Broadcasting Corp. also has an audio interview on their site with the farmer who grows the crop circle barley (the interview is 4 years old... Dudley has been trying to sell this stuff for a long time). What I found interesting was how concerned the farmer seemed about the authenticity of his crop circles. He was quite worried about the possibility of the circles not appearing in future years because that would obviously bring a quick end to the business model of Crop Circle Beer. (Thanks, Goo)
Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2004.   Comments (6)

Loch Ness Air — Here's an eBay auction I'm sorry I missed: some guy trying to sell a box of Loch Ness air... the same air that Nessie breathes. He didn't have any takers. What gets me is that it doesn't even sound like the box was tightly sealed, so all the Loch Ness air would have leaked out by the time it arrived at its destination. But although the market for Loch Ness air hasn't taken off, there's apparently quite a strong demand for bottles of Loch Ness water. Hey, I'm going to be in Loch Ness in two weeks, so if anyone wants me to pick them up some Loch Ness water while I'm there, put in your orders now. Loch Ness soil samples are also a possibility. I'll collect any water and soil samples once I'm done sampling Nessie's Monster Mash Beer.
Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004.   Comments (15)

British Gamers Prefer Virtual Girls — image A survey of British (male) gamers found that 61% of them would rather go on a date with the virtual Lara Croft, rather than the real flesh-and-blood model Jordan. These must be the same people who have a virtual girlfriend on their mobile phone and order up imaginary girlfriends from eBay. In fairness, I can see why the gamers might have said this. After all, Jordan doesn't rank too high on the reality index herself (and as one guy put it, she seems like she'd be "mind-numbingly dull" in person). But still, she does have the benefit of being real. (via Sexy Pop Culture)
Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004.   Comments (13)


JDate Personal Ads — image Banner ads for JDate, the Israeli dating service, promise to match Jewish bachelors up with attractive Jewish women. For instance, one ad shows blonde-haired, 22-year-old Hila from Tel Aviv who's "looking for a single Jewish guy." Another shows 26-year-old Sharon who's looking for a Jewish husband. But as it turns out, there is no Hila from Tel Aviv. The woman in the picture is actually Hungarian porn star Kari Gold. And Sharon? She's really Devon Sweet, a bisexual model from the United States. Neither Kari Gold nor Devon Sweet are affiliated in any way with JDate (so no luck meeting them that way). Their pictures were just randomly collected on the internet. I guess this is another shocking reminder that advertisers sometimes bend (or completely disregard) the truth.
Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004.   Comments (4)

The Mysterious Cabbit — image What is a cabbit? It's a cross between a cat and a rabbit. They're as cute as rabbits, but as affectionate as cats. But according to Sarah Hartwell, who's written an extensive study about this animal over at MessyBeast.com, cabbits aren't real. Though having said that, they're not exactly tall-tale creatures either, like the jackalope or fur-bearing trout, because there have been documented cases of animals that look like cat-rabbit hybrids. But these apparent hybrids always turn out to be cats with genetic mutations that have resulted in rabbit-like deformities. As Hartwell notes, "It is possible to cross-breed some animals... But you can't get crossbreeds from cats and rabbits because they are unrelated and are genetically very different from each other. A cat is a carnivore with its whole body adapted to hunting and meat-eating. A rabbit is a herbivore with its whole body adapted to eating plants." Lots of other curious cats are discussed over at MessyBeast.com including squittens, kangaroo cats, cacoons, cat-skunks, and woof-pusses. (via Metafilter)
Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004.   Comments (14)

Maiden Rock — imageHere's a picture that's been doing the email rounds (for some time, I think). The question is, is it a photograph or a painting? Well, if you look closely you can see that the areas on the side are sketched in and not that detailed. So it's a painting. If you tilt your head to the left you can see the shape of a woman standing behind a child. But Mary Alice, who sent me the picture, says that if you tilt your head to the right you can also see a big bird's head pecking on an acorn (though she admits you might have to be a birder to see it right off the bat).
Posted: Wed Aug 25, 2004.   Comments (28)

Mineralarians — image If you were to stumble randomly upon the Mineralarians website, you might actually think that this extreme diet cult was real. As the site explains: "The Mineralarians are an international association of people, diverse in other respects, who share the common determination to subsist on foods of mineral origin, thereby sparing our fellow beings the victimization that has been their lot, at our hands for the last million years, and before that at the claws and jaws of previously dominant species." I like the understated comment that you arrive at further down the page: "While there is no doubt of the wholesomeness of a mineralarian diet, the same cannot be said for its taste and texture." Of course, because you're EATING ROCKS!

The site is a hoax website created by Charles Bennett. Here are two of his other creations:


(via BoingBoing)
Posted: Wed Aug 25, 2004.   Comments (12)

Quentin Tarantino’s Weblog — image Quentin Tarantino has supposedly joined the ranks of bloggers, having set up his own blog over on blogspot. I guess even though he's a multi-millionaire Hollywood director, he couldn't afford to spring for a fancier setup... had to go for the blogspot thing (that's also conveniently anonymous). There's no way to prove or disprove whether Tarantino himself is really authoring this thing. The flesh-and-blood Tarantino hasn't made any public comment about it. Here's what blogger-Tarantino says about why you should believe he is who he claims to be:
I don't want to turn this into a press promotion thing and that's what I told Miramax when I started it (with their cooperation). If you really want proof this blog is genuine, you can find it by contacting Miramax or whatever -- but I'm not going to be making public announcements about the blog. If fans ask me, shit yeah I'll tell the truth, but if I make a national announcement this'll just become a publicity stint, and I never intended it to be that way. This is for the fans, and if they trust me then fine -- if they don't, all I can say is that convincing a few of them isn't worth ruining it by telling reporters who'll post it all over the 'Net and daily news. In this case the juice ain't worth the squeeze.

JoBlo of JoBlo's Movie Emporium says that he's contacted Miramax to check out if Tarantino's blog is for real, but he hasn't posted their response yet.
Update: Tarantino's publicist, Bumble Ward, confirms that blogger-Tarantino is a fake. As Ward puts it: "It's fake. The guy is doing a great job though, don't you think? And truly, I'd hate to ruin his fun. But it's fake. Quentin hardly knows what a mouse is."
Posted: Wed Aug 25, 2004.   Comments (7)

Reporter Request — Here's an interesting comment that was just added to my entry posted back in June about Eric Bruderton (that guerrilla marketing campaign involving mysterious video footage of a group of armed men being attacked by unseen assailants in a country like Afghanistan):

I'm a reporter for the business radio show Marketplace, heard around the
country on NPR. I'm working on a story about the advertizing campaign for
The September Tapes. If you have strong opinions about the ad campaign, I'd
like to chat. And perhaps do a short telephone interview. I can be reached
at [see the comment for the email].
Thanks
Jeff Tyler


Being the suspicious sort that I am, I immediately checked out the IP address on the comment, and it did indeed come from someone at Minnesota Public Radio, so it appears to be legitimate. So if you have strong opinions about The September Tapes, by all means send Jeff an email.
Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2004.   Comments (3)

Life With Skippy — image From the Hoax Forum: Ever heard of Life With Skippy? It was an American television show that aired briefly in 1969 that featured "the misadventures of two small-town boys, the trouble-making Skippy and his sidekick Gummy." Unfortunately it got cancelled after only six episodes. Still don't remember it? Well, if you look around the internet you can find a surprising number of references to this hard-to-remember show. It's mentioned on message boards, there's a Yahoo Group devoted to its young star (who was later found dead in a brothel), there's a Life With Skippy website, and a website maintained by the actor Adam Felber who played Gummy. Plus, you can buy the hat worn by Skippy on eBay. Well, if you still can't remember the show the reason is that it never existed. It's the creation of a New York-based production company, Metropolis Entertainment, who are trying to promote a new sitcom they've developed called Life After Skippy, which is about the career of a down-on-his-luck former child actor (who once supposedly worked on Life With Skippy). Quite an elaborate guerrilla marketing campaign they've put together for this. You can view clips from the real show, Life After Skippy, on their site. Some of them are pretty funny.
Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2004.   Comments (15)

Transformers Comic Book Predicted 9/11 — image Here's something that brings back memories of the Nostradamus predictions that swirled around in the weeks after 9/11. Some guy is claiming that comic book artist Simon Furman predicted 9/11 in a Transformers comic book published on Sep. 14, 1991. His main proof: a picture of a transformer (rodimus prime) hanging between the destroyed towers of the World Trade Center. He's selling the comic book that contains this picture (as well as some other stuff) on eBay UK. He launches into some convoluted explanation of other ways in which his Transformers comic book predicted 9/11, and then he winds up his sales pitch with this startling, though rather garbled, claim:

wouldn't you like some glimpse into future events, these comics if used to predict events from week to week, they are currently around issue 230, this is august 1989 (2004), and they run until 18th feb 1992 (2007), that means there are over 100 more issues to go, thats almost three years of predictions, i can send you information of exactly what to look for in them, how to make sense of the vague and cryptic predictions, and will allways answer emails from anyone who wants to help understand these better.


In other words, he's saying that these old Transformers comics are like windows onto the future. But the question you have to ask is why, if this guy can see into the future via his comic books, isn't he taking advantage of that ability? Why wouldn't he use this power to enrich himself (or at least warn the world about upcoming disasters) instead of giving it away for a pittance on eBay? (via Metaphorge)
Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2004.   Comments (15)

Virgin Sacrifice at Loch Ness — image In just a few weeks, on the night of September 6th and 7th, a white-magic ritual will be performed on the banks of Loch Ness to call up Nessie. Performing the ritual will be Kevin Carlyon, High Priest of British White Witches. Now here's the interesting part. Should the ritual fail to achieve anything, Carlyon will then bait Nessie with an irresistible lure: a virgin adorned with vegetables and tied to a stake in the waters of Loch Ness. I certainly don't see how that could fail to get Nessie's attention.

Carlyon is currently accepting applications for the role of the virgin bait. He specifies that whoever it is must be female (so I guess Marc can't apply), aged between 18-25, pretty, petite, a non-smoker, a non-drug-user, and in good shape. Carlyon reports that he's already received quite a few applications, including ones from a transvestite and a woman who wanted to know if she could bring her kid along (she must not have understood the 'virgin' part of the job requirement).

I personally find the timing of this event extremely frustrating. In September, as part of my long-planned European vacation, I'm going to be visiting Loch Ness, but I'll be arriving on the 10th... THREE DAYS after the virgin sacrifice. So it looks like I'll miss it. And it's too late to change the dates of my flight. The one time in my life I visit Loch Ness and I miss getting to see a virgin sacrifice by a few days. That's just my luck.
Posted: Sat Aug 21, 2004.   Comments (11)

Time Travel Mutual Fund — I just received this rather non-humorous letter from the folks over at the Time Travel Mutual Fund:

Hello Alex,
I see you have our site, The Time Travel Fund, listed in your museum
of hoaxes.(www.TimeTravelFund.com)
I am writing you to ask that you remove us from your site. We are not
a hoax; we are serious in what we are attempting to do. Your site
lists us as being a hoax as if it were a fact, not as simply being
your personal opinion.
While you are certainly entitled to your opinion, presenting it as a
fact and not an opinion is slander.



This raises a dilemma for me. I do, in fact, list the Time Travel Fund in my gallery of hoax websites, having assumed that the site was a kind of cute, tongue-in-cheek idea whose main purpose was to sell $10 certificates that people could hang on their wall as a joke, rather than really being in the business of fund management. But if they're perfectly serious about their time travel fund, then that makes it a kooky site, rather than a hoax site. Should I keep the site on the list? I'm not sure.

I'm inclined to keep it on there just to annoy them because I don't like their legalistic threat about me slandering them. But I think the best thing to do would be to keep their site in the list, but add a disclaimer noting that while I thought the Fund was a joke, the fund managers themselves seem to take their task very seriously.
Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2004.   Comments (95)

Hoax Forum RSS Feed — I've now enabled the Hoax Forum message board with an RSS Feed. It'll send every new topic posted there straight to your RSS reader. Enjoy.
Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2004.   Comments (1)

Fake LiveJournal Deaths — There's a LiveJournal community devoted to exposing fake LiveJournal deaths. I love it. You find cynical observations such as this: "you'll notice when visiting luna's journal that her dad died on August 8. He was immediately buried the next afternoon. In the meantime however, luna spent the hours posting bad poetry and stupid surveys." The Museum of Hoaxes also gets mentioned. Unfortunately it looks like they're configuring the community so that you'll now have to join it in order to see any future posts.
Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2004.   Comments (0)

Animal Psychics — image I never realized that the pet psychic industry had grown so large. Should you have a need for someone to peer into your pet's thoughts, you now have a wide range services to choose from. There's Animalstalk.com, run by Barbara Morrison (her company motto is 'I talk to the animals!'). Then, of course, there's tv personality Sonya Fitzpatrick. But my favorite is Terri Diener, owner of Petspeak.com. She tells us that communicating telepathically with animals is "similar to turning on a radio and tuning into the station you want." To get her to read your pet's thoughts all you have to do is phone her up. Everything can be done long distance (how convenient!). Personally I don't often have much trouble figuring out what my cat is thinking (it's usually either 'feed me' or 'pay attention to me') , though I would be curious to know what's going through her mind when she has her 'mad half hours' which involve tearing through the house at breakneck speed, bouncing off furniture, and squawking insanely.
Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2004.   Comments (9)

The It-Was-My-Twin-Sister Excuse — image Aylar's career as a finalist for Miss Norway was about to come to a crashing end when her secret past in the adult film industry was revealed. The rules of the Miss Norway competition clearly forbid contestants from having posed nude for money. But luckily Aylar had an explanation ready at hand. That woman doing all those things in those movies wasn't her, even though it looked exactly like her. It was her twin sister. (Wasn't there an episode of Friends where this happened to Phoebe?). Unfortunately for Aylar, a quick investigation revealed that she had no twin sister. She's now the ex- an ex-finalist for Miss Norway.
Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004.   Comments (7)

Fake Mathematical Proofs — Not being very mathematically inclined, these had me puzzled for a while. The first proof shows that 64=65. It's quite convincing, until you actually get graph paper out (like I did) and try to do it yourself. Then you'll discover that the parts don't match up as nicely as they do in the animation.

A more complicated fake proof can be found here, where 1 is shown to equal 2. I started to go glassy-eyed when I began to analyze the equation, so I quickly broke down and peeked at the answer explaining why the proof is wrong. (via Metafilter)
Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004.   Comments (6)

Dolphins Approaching — Here's an interesting picture that's going around via email. I can't tell if it's real or photoshopped, but I'm inclined to say that it's real. I can't see any obvious signs of photoshopping, and dolphins do like to surf waves. However, I wouldn't like to be those guys staring down a school of dolphins about to crash down on top of them (though the perspective probably makes the people appear closer to the dolphins than they actually were). It reminds me of this other (real) picture of a dolphin in a wave. Click on the image for a slightly larger version. image
Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2004.   Comments (29)

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