Hoax Museum Blog: Urban Legends

Devirginize Marc — This falls under the category of 'could easily be true, but seriously, you've got to be kidding.' It's DeVirginizeMarc.com. Marc (if that's his real name) is 26 years old and a virgin. Or, as he puts it, "My name is Marc, and I'm a virgin... and I'm okay with it." But he's obviously not that okay with it, because he's soliciting applications from the public to help him change his situation. Maybe it's just me, but Marc looks like he's closer to his late 30s than his mid 20s. Could he be lying about his age? I immediately checked to see who the website was registered to, but it's registered anonymously through Domains by Proxy. I guess if it were my website, I'd try to stay anonymous too.

Hoax Execution and ABC News — Today ABC News sent a camerateam around to my house to interview me about the hoax execution of Benjamin Vanderford. Vanderford used special-effects to stage his own execution by Islamic militants, then uploaded footage of the scene onto file-sharing networks, and waited for the media to bite. It took three months, but the media finally did bite, reporting it as an actual execution yesterday. At which point, Vanderford confessed to the hoax. I got a call from ABC this morning asking if I'd be willing to do an interview. I had only just read about Vanderford's hoax a few minutes before they called, but I said sure, why not. About an hour later the camerateam was there. I haven't seen the news segment yet, but from what I hear they use a soundbite from me saying something about how digital technology makes video and photo hoaxes much easier to perpetrate. It's always frustrating to be soundbited, because there's so much more one could say about these types of events: how Vanderford's hoax is representative of the 'moral crusader' genre of hoax in which people justify their hoaxes by claiming they serve a moral, educational purpose; how the media will always, always fall for sensational hoaxes because of the 'if-it-bleeds-it-leads' news model; how the case of Vanderford demonstrates that access to the media (and thus the phenomenon of hoaxing itself) has become democratized by the internet (in the old days hoaxes were mostly perpetrated by people with insider connections to the media). Oh well. At least I got my face on the news. So I can't complain.
Update: Robert Martin, the producer of Vanderford's hoax video, has placed a 'press release' online, explaining their side of the story.

Advanced Rutabaga Studies Institute — It's common knowledge that Rutabaga Studies is one of the most exciting fields of inquiry in the world today, and at the Advanced Rutabaga Studies Institute they're on the cutting edge of it. For instance, you can peek in on their live Rutacam and witness a thrilling Rutabaga experiment in action. Also, keep up with recent developments in Rutabaga Studies, such as the anticipated launching of a giant rutabaga into geostationary orbit. And did you know that September is National Rutabaga Month? All this fascinating information about rutabagas, and I honestly don't think I've ever eaten one in my life.

Saddles for REAL MEN! — Wimpy men ride on soft, padded bicycle seats. Real men ride on rock-hard seats. Literally. Sheldon Brown is selling Real MAN © Saddles made out of solid granite from Canada's rugged Gaspé peninsula. In order to qualify for purchase of this product, a chemical analysis of your blood will be performed to determine that your testosterone level is high enough to ride the Real MAN © saddle. (via Red Ferret)

Escape-a-Date — The Arizona Daily Star reports that Cingular Wireless is preparing to debut an Escape-a-Date feature on its phones. It will allow you to prearrange a phone call to interrupt you during a date, providing you with a convenient out, should it be necessary. Excuse messages offered up will include "my friend is having some trouble with superglue and needs some help" and "my friend was looking in his fridge and found some pudding that's shaped like Elvis." That second thing about Elvis really happened to me, except it wasn't pudding. It was a potato chip. (via BoingBoing)

Boyfriend Arm Pillow — For those women who don't want to sleep with a real man, but like to have an arm wrapped around them at night, Japanese manufacturer Kameo has come out with the Boyfriend Arm Pillow. A Kameo spokesman says that, "It has been so successful we have had to draw up a waiting list. Women of all ages have been queueing round the block to take one home." Kameo also plans to introduce a Girlfriend Arm Pillow later. But this is my question: If you're married would it be considered cheating to sleep with a boyfriend/girlfriend arm pillow?

Fake Terrorism Drill — This should win some kind of award for stupidity. Government officials in Carter County, Tenn. were settling down to their meeting about property taxes when armed intruders burst into the room, fired shots into the air, and proceeded to take hostages. "There will be no new taxes, everyone here is going to vote no," one intruder shouted. People panicked and rushed for cover. But no need. Turns out it was just a "drill" orchestrated by the local Emergency Management Director. Problem is, while the Director had told a few people there was going to be some kind of exercise, he hadn't warned anyone about the nature of it. Maybe it's just me, but I can't imagine that the Carter County tax board would be a high-priority target for terrorists in the first place. But in the unlikely event that it is, this drill has now guaranteed that no one will ever be sure if future situations are real or just pretend.

Miss Plastic Surgery — The BBC reports that a "Miss Plastic Surgery" beauty contest will be held in China in October. All the contestants must have enhanced their appearance via cosmetic surgery. The inspiration for the event came after a woman was barred from a beauty contest on account of her surgical enhancements. What surprises me here is that China has beaten America to the punch on this one. Where is our Miss Plastic Surgery contest? I thought Fox would have dreamed up something like this ages ago.

Thatcher Isn’t Dead — Margaret Thatcher isn't dead, despite what this elaborate mock-up of The Guardian claims. Nor is Stephen Hawking now going to speak in her voice.

Longshot Presidential Candidates — If you choose not to vote for Emperor Buonaparte in November (God knows why not), here are some other alternative-reality-type candidates you can cast your ballot for. I found the info about these candidates on the Politics1.com website (you need to scroll about 2/3 of the way down the page before you start getting to the really interesting candidates).

First there's Albert 'Al' Hamburg. "Perennial candidate Al Hamburg, 72, had lost 14 consecutive bids for President and for Governor, US Senate and Congress before the 2004 race. He proudly described himself as the "Very Independent UNPOPULAR Candidate... Hamburg also made news in the 1980s when he sued a woman for breach of contract involving a car he sold to her. In the lawsuit, he said the woman agreed to have sex with him fifty times in exchange for the car -- but that she stopped performing her end of the deal after 33 times."


Next up, Grady Dean Mollenhour Jr. "Little is known about this Democratic hopeful -- except that he uses "Reverend" as his title on some campaign documents he filed (so, presumably, he's a minister of some sort). He also served in the US Army (1983-84), worked briefly in the Job Corps in the early 1980s, and holds a high school GED certificate."

And finally, Vermin Supreme. "A large part of his platform relates to promoting better dental hygiene ('Stong Teeth for a Strong America'). To make sure the American people regularly brush and floss, he promises: 'Warrantless random no knock dental inspections; Government issued toothpaste containing addictive yet harmless substances; Video surveillance through two way bathroom mirrors; Electronic tracking, moisture and motion sensor devices in all toothbrushes ... or even preventative dental maintenance detention facilities.' Our favorite among his proposals: 'Gene splicing to create a race of winged monkeys to act as tooth fairies.'" Vermin Supreme also has a website of his own that you can check out.

HRM Caesar St. Augustine de Buonaparte — On September 17, 1859 Joshua Norton delivered a proclamation to the San Francisco Bulletin declaring himself Emperor of the United States. From that point on, Joshua Norton was forever known as Emperor Norton I, a role which he dutifully performed for the rest of his life, proudly walking around the streets of San Francisco dressed in his emperor's uniform, complete with plumed hat, gold epaulets, and a sword at his side. When he died in 1880, 10,000 people showed up at his funeral.

It now looks like America has a new Emperor. Or rather, has had one for about eight years, ever since HRM Caesar St. Augustine de Buonaparte, a resident of Los Angeles, sent a letter to President Clinton declaring war on the United States. Buonaparte claims that Clinton's failure to respond to his letter means that the United States implicitly conceded defeat. Therefore, Buonaparte is now our Emperor.

Although HRM Buonaparte is Emperor of the U.S., oddly enough he appears to have filed paperwork to run in the 2004 Presidential election. He's running as a member of the Good Party. For his campaign photo he appears to have submitted a photo of himself posing in a face cutout from the Renaissance Faire.

California As An Island — The Philadelphia Print Shop has a great online collection of ancient maps that contain mythical geography. Mythical geography describes "geographic features that appear on the map but not on the earth; cities where none ever were, islands where there are but waves, lakes and rivers where there is dry land, and kingdoms of non-existent kings." (I have some more information about this topic in my Medieval Travel Lies Gallery). My favorite ancient maps in the Print Shop's collection are the ones of California as an island. Of course, it remains to be seen whether these were actually geographic myths, or astute predictions of the future. Being in San Diego, I'd love to be able to hang a map of California as an island in my living room, but since their prices range from $500 all the way up to $7000, that's not going to happen anytime soon. (via J-Walk)

Phony Sold Signs — A British Real Estate Agency has been fined for placing phony 'sold' signs up outside the houses of its own employees. It's not quite clear to me what they gained by doing this. I assume it made them look like they were doing more business than they actually were. Still, it's odd to think that as you drive around a neighborhood and see all those 'for sale' and 'sold' signs, that the signs might bear no relationship to reality at all.

Frisbee Animals — Allison, who runs an ultimate frisbee company in Nottingham, just sent in these pictures of frisbee-playing animals. First we have Frisbee Croc.

Yeah, Frisbee Croc is a pretty obvious fake, but it's a cool photoshop nevertheless. The image comes from the Northern Territory Ultimate Frisbee site. Next we have Frisbee Horse.

As far as I can tell, these Frisbee Horse pictures are real. The name of the horse is Namoniet. He's an Egyptian Arabian Stallion trained by Jay Evans. Reportedly Namoniet loves to catch frisbees. The challenge is getting him to give them back. I'd love to show up at a park on a weekend where guys are playing frisbee with their dogs, challenge them to a match, and then bring out my frisbee-playing horse.

Return of the Jedi: New Ending — Here's something that's causing serious Star Wars fans to roll their eyes in disgust. The rumor going around is that in the upcoming DVD release of the Star Wars series, George Lucas has altered the ending of Return of the Jedi (Episode VI) so that Hayden Christensen has replaced Sebastian Shaw in the final scene that shows the ghosts of Darth Vader, Yoda, and Obi wan Kenobi standing together. As some have pointed out, this doesn't make sense because why would Darth Vader's ghost be young, while the ghosts of Yoda and Obi wan are both old? Nevertheless, there's photographic evidence to back up the rumor, as well as a film clip hosted over at Waxy.org. If it's a hoax, someone has put a bit of effort into manufacturing these altered scenes.

Rance Update — I haven't visited the Rance blog in ages (in case you missed out on the Rance thing, he's an anonymous blogger who claims to be an a-list Hollywood celebrity). Now it looks like Rance has decided to call it quits, but he wants his blog to live on. So he's accepting applications for Rance 2. I guess he must be from Hollywood if he's that committed to producing a sequel. But as is always the case, you just know that the sequel is going to be worse than the original.

Test Your Phishing IQ — MailFrontier offers a short test that allows you to determine how easily you would fall for a phishing scam. I only got a score of 70%, so evidently I'm not as fraudproof as I thought.

Weird Subscription Services — I recently joined Netflix, and I'm enjoying it so far. It makes sense to rent dvds via the web (though scratched dvds are a real headache). But when I came across Bag, Borrow, or Steal, which delivers a constant stream of designer handbags to your door, I thought it was a joke. It's obviously not, which just goes to show how out of touch I am with the world of fashion. I also was a bit skeptical about the Blacksocks service. Blacksocks describes itself as the "inventor of the revolutionary sockscription." At first I thought subscribers were meant to send back their used socks before they got another new pair (which is why I couldn't believe it was real). Then I realized it's more like a 'sock-of-the-month' club. That actually makes a lot of sense for people like me who are constantly losing socks. (via Red Ferret)

Inscription One: Real or Fake? — Inscription One is a stone obelisk engraved with ancient Thai script that describes the utopian kingdom of Siam. Believed to have been created in 1292, it's considered one of the great national treasures of Thailand, comparable to the American Liberty Bell or the English Magna Carta. But recently two scholars, Michael Wright and Piriya Krairiksh, have suggested that Inscription One is nothing more than a fake. They theorize that the obelisk actually dates only to 1833, the year in which it was 'rediscovered' by Prince Mongkut (who later became King Rama IV). They suggest that the Prince used it as a piece of national propaganda to promote his reformist policies. This theory isn't gaining the two scholars many friends in Thailand. 5000 outraged demonstrators recently "carried out a cursing ritual, burning chillies and salt and the names of the two men written on scraps of paper." A Thai politician has also demanded the arrest of the two men. Michael Wright, however, is shrugging all this off. He insists that he feels no ill-effects from the curse at all. (but just wait until his penis melts into his body, and then see what he says!)

Wireless iPod — Rumors of a new wireless iPod (i.e. no headphones cord) have begun floating around based upon this advertising poster that was supposedly "IM'd to a family member of a person working in an Asian PR firm by accident." Hmmm. Since I just got an iPod about two months ago, it would suck if a new and much better model came out so soon. But then again, that would be just my luck. However, I have a feeling that the advertising poster is just a fake.