Hoax Museum Blog: Websites

Have You Forsaken Baby Jesus? — Lots of people are linking to this floating Baby Jesus head that squeaks plaintively, occasionally moans 'WHY', and constantly demands 'WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME?' One look at the URL told me that it was a spoof, because it's part of the Objective: Christian Ministries (O:CM) site, probably the most elaborate anti-fundamentalist parody site on the internet. But apparently not everyone is aware of O:CM, so they're getting creeped out thinking the floating Baby Jesus head is supposed to be taken seriously.

O:CM has been around for a while. I first became aware of it in mid-2003, but it's older than that. I think it's a spinoff of Landover Baptist Church (note the many links to Landover Baptist on the O:CM site). For a while back in 2003 O:CM was frequently changing servers and domain names. In fact, for a brief time it conned its way onto an actual Christian webhosting service (which gave it a veneer of authenticity), but then got booted off that service once the Christian webhost realized what O:CM was. A Boing Boing reader notes that O:CM is registered to IdeaFlood, a company owned by Brian Shuster, a porn website operator who also owns a patent on pop-up ads.

Bush Arrested in Canada — A mock CNN page with news about Bush being arrested in Canada and charged with war crimes has been doing the rounds, and apparently fooling quite a few people. It's pretty well done. The url even looks like it could be the real thing. Axis of Logic also has a satirical article about Bush being arrested on their site. Apparently the Axis of Logic article got picked up by the Google newsbot and was temporarily posted as a real headline on Google News. Hairy Houdini, as he promised in the Hoax Forum, sent me a screen cap of this (Thanks, HH, though unfortunately it doesn't look like your christmas wish will come true). I'm not sure if the mock CNN page and the Axis of Logic article are related in any way.

Mothers Against Videogame Addiction and Violence — Is your child receiving poor grades in school in every subject except Computer Education? Is your child spending a lot of time in their bedroom and at home? Then he or she may be suffering from videogame addiction. Mothers Against Videogame Addiction and Violence (MAVAV) is a group that's trying to educate parents about this growing threat. Check out some of the articles on their site, such as "E3: The Evil Entertainment Expo" or "EverQuest: A Threat to Society?" I could imagine a group like this being real, but it's just a hoax created by David Yoo way back in 2002. On this page Yoo describes why he created it and notes that even after it had been exposed as a hoax on Slashdot, he still continued to receive letters from people who thought it was real.

Terminal Tours — Terminal Tours provides a service for those who are near death or just thinking about dying, whisking them away on the vacation of their dreams. It gives them a chance to do that one thing they always wanted to do, but never got around to doing. The guide on this 'terminal tour' is Michael Keever. Except Michael Keever doesn't actually exist. He's a character from Tom LeClair's recent novel, Passing On. Nor does Terminal Tours itself exist. LeClair left some comments in the hoax museum message board, noting that the Terminal Tours site "extends the fiction of the novel and parodies 'promise you everything, including eternal life' web sites." He also tells me that in the spirit of the Museum of Hoaxes, his next novel, The Liquidators (due out next fall), features a Museum of Lead. Cool.

America Looks Beyond — America Looks Beyond is the name of a visionary new project jointly funded by the PEW Charitable Trusts and the Gates Foundation. Armed with a budget of over $1 billion a year, this is what they plan to do: "Starting in 2005, every high school student in America is going to be offered a six-week trip to a third world country. To broaden their horizons. To gain a more intimate understanding of the world. And to fight the global War on Terror in a positive way, through education and first-hand knowledge of how so much of the world struggles to survive." That would be great, if it were real. But, of course, it isn't real. As Glassdog points out, the site isn't registered to either the Gates Foundation or the PEW Charitable Trusts. It's registered to the media activist group AdBusters. So in other words, the site is a spoof... showing what people could be doing, but aren't.

Santa Rosa Institute — I came across the LiveJournal page of Chris (corourke), on which he ponders the reality of the Santa Rosa Institute of Advanced Genetics. Upon checking it out, the site had me confused for a while also. At first glance it appears to be a legitimate biotech company with two products in development: Genuflex (an anti-aging drug), and Envigor (a drug that decreases the need for sleep). So far, so good. I know there really are companies developing products like this. But then if you do a google search for the 'Santa Rosa Institute' links to the Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency start coming up. The FVZA rails against the Santa Rosa Institute, denouncing it as a front for vampire research. For instance, here's the FVZA's take on Envigor:

Recently, the Santa Rosa Institute has been pushing Envigor, a drug designed to help people stay alert when working overnight shifts. Study results trumpeted in an Institute press release suggest that Envigor helps people stay awake and alert all night, with no apparent side effects. Of course, the Institute left out one minor detail: ENVIGOR IS MADE FROM VAMPIRE BLOOD.

Obviously the FVZA is a joke, but the question is: is the Santa Rosa Institute also a joke? Is it a fake site created by the FVZA, or is it a real company that just happens to have become a target for the FVZA's satire? For a moment I was inclined to think the SRI might be real, because a further search uncovered real-looking press releases from the SRI on other sites. But then I noticed something: a hidden vampire reference on the SRI site. If you click on the 'Home' link, a link to the FVZA Museum surreptitiously appears in the right-hand corner. It's easy to miss. So it appears that the Santa Rosa Institute is a fake site created by the FVZA. Though it's definitely a fairly elaborate fake.

Clooney’s Anti-Bush Blog — Defamer reports (via A Fly on the Wall) that George Clooney has his own weblog, titled A Chronicle of Bush's Failures. It's purely political, focusing (as you might guess from the title) on all of Bush's shortcomings. The question is, is this really Clooney's blog? I'm not convinced, mainly because whoever is writing the blog doesn't seem to claim anywhere that he or she is Clooney. And I'm not sure why we should believe A Fly on the Wall's anonymous source. More likely it's some blogger trying to attract traffic by spreading a rumor that he's George Clooney.

The Venus Flytrap Dionaea House — Here's a good link for Halloween. It's the final email correspondence of Mark Condry, as posted by his friend Eric. It takes about 15 or 20 minutes to read through in its entirety, but it's a good story if you've got the time. And no, it isn't real, though it tries its best to seem real (but if you believe in the supernatural, maybe it could be real). It was written (or posted to the web, if you believe the site) by Eric Heisserer, a Hollywood screenwriter. I won't ruin the story by giving it all away. I'll just say that it describes a house that lures people to their doom by leaving them strange clues that eventually lead to the mysterious room on the second floor.

Joey the Midwife — Joey the Midwife is an advertising agency. An unbelievably cheap advertising agency. How can it offer such low rates? Simple. "Here's our secret: We have developed the use of "themes" to sell products. Why reinvent the wheel with every ad campaign? We've got a collection of themes that are PROVEN winners.... themes everyone loves. We just plug your product into a theme and PRESTO BINGO, you've got a world-class ad campaign at a fraction of the cost and a fraction of the time." It's a very strange little site. I think it's the creation of cartoonist David Rees, author of Get Your War On, since a lot of the links lead back to his site. But I'm not sure why Rees created the site.

Goths for Bush — I'm a Democrat, but I've got to hand it to the Goths for Bush. I like their reasoning: "We are forming this Goth Republican Band to help elect George Bush to continue the sadness. His actions facilitate our morbid fascination and the beauty of enduring pain. Many people lead unhappy lives and that is sad. Bush will continue the sadness. He knows that gentle people are excellent for spanking. His foreign policy is the best, he spanks the world and the unseen one knows it deserves it, so beautifully dirty, grimy and perverse." I'm assuming this is satire, but it's subtle enough that you can't really be sure.

Wakerich Asylum for the Criminally Insane — This one almost had me believing that it was real. It's Wakerich Asylum for the Criminally Insane. It all looks very official and real, right down to the phone numbers, staff bios, and maps to the asylum. It only starts to become fishy when you notice that the complete records of all the patients are accessible online. The supposed explanation for this is that "Patient information is being made available to the public after a ruling by The New York State Appellate Court in a Freedom of Information case brought by Health Insurance Companies against the State of New York." You've got to do a google search to discover that Wakerich Asylum is really the creation of the folks over at Whirled History. For $9.99 a year they'll admit you as a patient at Wakerich, with your own email account. So when friends or employers search for info about you on the web, they'll come across your asylum record. It would be more fun if you could admit other people into the asylum, but I think they'll only allow you to use your own name (or the name on your credit card). Whirled History will also allow you to become a monk at Pho Monastery.

The Center for Chihuahua Exploitation — If you're curious about how to go about exploiting chihuahuas, then the Center for Chihuahua Exploitation is the site for you. If you dig around the site a bit, you'll discover some interesting facts, such as this: "Most people don't realize that the chihuahua is not a true member of the canine family. In fact, it shares the same ancestor as common rats. This opens up new possibilities for the scientific community as chihuahuas can now legally be used in place of lab rats for experimentation." That reminds me of the old urban legend about the rat that's mistaken for a dog.

Enslave New Zealand — Are you tired of "namby-pamby politicians with their bean-counting, child-smooching sweaty handshakes?" A few Australians are, so they've taken politics into their own hands and formed the Enslave New Zealand Party. If elected, members of this party promise one thing: to invade New Zealand and enslave its entire population. Their plan sounds foolproof. After all, as they point out, "New Zealand bases her defence policy on one simple fact: no one can attack New Zealand without going through Australia first. This is generally true but there is, of course, one exception…Australia." But has the Enslave New Zealand party forgotten about Frodo, Gandalf, and Aragorn? Surely they'd save New Zealand.

Nick Nolte’s Blog — Here's yet another possible faux celebrity blog. This time it's the blog of Nick Nolte. It's probably becoming a sign of status in Hollywood to have a faux blog... it shows that someone out there cares enough about you to want to pretend to be you. Imagine all the forgotten stars waiting desperately for someone to create a fake blog about them. Maybe they eventually break down and pay someone to pretend to be them... which would make it a faux faux celebrity blog. Lost in Technophilia argues that the reason to believe the Nick Nolte blog isn't real is because the domain name is registered to someone called "Christian Newton" living at 501 Privacy Lane, Santa Monica, CA 90402. Obviously a fake address. Or maybe Nick Nolte just didn't want to give out his real address.

Elite Designers Against IKEA — IKEA is my wife's favorite shop. I go along with her on her IKEA outings on the condition that I get to stop in at their restaurant and have a plate of Swedish meatballs. Anyway, the Elite Designers Against IKEA site pretty much describes what it is in its title. According to their manifesto: "We design profound and beautiful furniture for those with wealth and taste. Which is why IKEA makes us furious livid and angry." I'm assuming this site is part of an advertising campaign for IKEA itself.
Update: This definitely is a hoax, and it may be backfiring on Ikea (oops. I mean, IKEA). Here's a blurb from PR Week about the ad campaign:


Ikea has opened a can of worms with its hoax PR campaign to ban the furniture brand, spearheaded by the flamboyant sham-designer Van den Puup, who believes design should be exclusive and expensive.
Cooke & Brand PR set up an email and phone line for the phoney character and, flooded with responses, has found it difficult to differentiate those who have been taken in by the ruse from those enjoying the interaction.
'Huw Shooter' probably got the joke when asking for Puup to design his second guest suite in a fusion of 'Byzantine and Spanish Rococo' styles, but Stef Wheway felt compelled to write: 'It seems we av (sic) a mutual disliking for Ikea! But what's with your prices? Are they for real or is it a joke to take the piss out of Ikea?'

Martha Serving — Someone called Martha (I wonder which Martha that could be?) who's recently been incarcerated in a federal prison has got a new blog up and running. She's already working on plans to redecorate her new surroundings:

I'm going to use toilet paper and threads taken from my bedsheets to quilt some nice drapes. I've been talking to some people on the outside about sneaking in some potpourri for me. This place is severly lacking in fine scents!

Gay Penguin for America — If you're one of those undecided voters who can't make up their mind whether to vote for Bush, Kerry, Nader, or HRM Caesar St. Augustine de Buonaparte, then here's a fifth candidate you might want to consider: Gay Penguin. As Gay Penguin's website explains, "Gay Penguin is a homosexual penguin. He is incapable of speaking, of signing laws and bills, and perhaps even incapable of abstract thought." His site then goes on to ask you to "Imagine a world where America has been ruled by a Gay Penguin since 2000." Gay Penguin also has a blog, though it doesn't seem to be updated very often (probably because of his inability to read or write).

The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation — Do you suffer from irrational fears, unexplained twitching, or insomnia? If so, then the root of your problems may be childhood goat trauma, probably experienced at a petting zoo. The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation exists to help you. Their site contains a wealth of information. For instance, did you realize that some malicious goats have learned to climb trees and drop down onto unsuspecting people? Or that there have been reports of roaming urban goats at large? Personally I can't remember ever having been traumatized by a goat... though I can recall a particularly nasty experience involving some geese who mistook my toes for food. (submitted by Terry Austin in the Hoax Forum)

90-Foot Babe — Natalia is a "fun-loving, shoe-hoarding, chocolate-loving gal who likes to travel, flirt with cute guys, and hang out with friends." She also happens to be 90 feet tall. You can read all about her adventures on her blog, 90-foot babe. All I can say is that a) she gives new meaning to the term 'tall tale'; and b) she really puts Heather Haven in her place. (via the Hoax Forum)

Child Pimp & Ho Costumes — Looking for a unique Halloween costume for your kid? Then check out the Child Pimp & Ho Costumes offered by Brands On Sale. For your boy you have a choice of the generic pimp suit costume, the long pimp daddy suit, cheetah pimp suit, or zebra pimp suit. But for your girl you're limited to just a single ho costume (though you could send her out in the spoiled brat girl costume). And let Fido join in the fun with the pimp suit dog costume. A link to these costumes was doing the blog rounds last week, and when I first saw them I figured they were simply costumes in bad taste... not a hoax. But according to des femmes they are a hoax. Des femmes reports that, "I spoke with Jonathan at Brands On Sale. He said the page was hacked and they're still trying to remove it from the server. The pimp costumes are actually zoot suits and the ho costume is supposed to be a flapper." This was posted on the 25th. It's now six days later and Brands on Sale apparently still has not been able to correct the item descriptions, which seems a little suspicious. But we'll have to wait and see what happens.
Update: Looks like I was wrong. This Yahoo! News story that Dwight linked to in the comments seems to indicate that Brands on Sale is seriously selling these outfits... that they weren't the creation of a hacker.