Hoax Museum Blog: Technology

Killer Phone Calls — Here's a new penis-melting-zionist-robot-comb-type rumor that's spreading through Africa. Agence France Presse is reporting that many mobile-phone users in Nigeria are terrified that if they receive a phone call from one of two numbers, either 0802 311 1999 or 0802 222 5999, it will cause them instant death. A spokesman for the Nigerian mobile-phone company is trying to squash the rumor by assuring people that, "from an engineering point of view, it is absolutely impracticable, and there is no such record whatsoever anywhere in the world, that anyone has died or can die from merely receiving or making a phone call." The AFP reporter braved death and actually called both numbers but was unable to get through to anyone. Personally I think these Nigerians simply don't have the full story. They should know that the phone calls will only kill you if you receive them directly after watching a videotape of a creepy-looking long-haired girl crawling out of a well.

Update: Gizmodo has a copy of a top-secret internal memo from Nokia in which the company admits that it's phones really can cause instant death when calls from certain numbers are received. (yeah, I know it's a joke).

Outsource Your Own Job — Either this is a bizarre new scam, or the Times of India has fallen for a tall tale. It claims that the hot new trend among programmers is to outsource their own jobs to India. As the article explains: "Says a programmer on Slashdot.org who outsourced his job: 'About a year ago I hired a developer in India to do my job. I pay him $12,000 out of the $67,000 I get. He's happy to have the work. I'm happy that I have to work only 90 minutes a day just supervising the code. My employer thinks I'm telecommuting. Now I'm considering getting a second job and doing the same thing.'" Sounds like a great scheme... unless your boss finds out you're just a middleman and decides to cut you out of the loop. I'm suspicious that this practice is really as prevalent as the Times of India implies. (via Common Sense Technology)

DVD Rewinder — This is a step beyond the online DVD rewinding service that I reported on back in February. That worked via the CD tray of your computer, but this new home DVD Rewinder from 1783 Productions sits on your desk and whirres, flashes, and spins. The blurb about it says: "assure that you never again have to pay another DVD Rewind fee! This novelty, created by 1783, spins discs backwards while playing a customizable "rewind" sound and flashes lights. The DVD Rewinder even has a USB port for MP3 and other external digital media. In tech colors, flourescent green and black, the DVD Rewinder provides great fun and lots of interesting conversation."

Internet For Sale — Someone has placed the internet up for sale on eBay. The seller assures us that "This is serious. Comes with original certificate of authenticity." According to the picture accompanying the auction, the internet looks a bit like a shiny black ball. The certificate of authenticity, however, looks like it's been printed out on a home inkjet printer. If memory serves me, this joke about putting the internet up for sale has been done before, and yet the current seller has already made at least $27, so they're the one laughing all the way to the bank. (via Red Ferret Journal)

StunStrike Stun Gun: Hoax or Not? — From the Hoax Forum: An Indiana company called Xtreme Alternative Defense Systems is developing a stun gun called the StunStrike that it boasts will be able to stun people at a distance, kind of like a taser without the wires. The company president, Pete Bitar, explains that the weapon will fire "a stream of electricity like water out of a hose at one or many targets in a single sweep." Sounds a little sci-fi, but certainly not implausible. At least until you check out the company's website, and then the credibility meter drops way down. The website looks kind of like something a high school student would slap together for his 'intro to the internet' class, and it's hosted on a free server. So here you have a hi-tech company that evidently hasn't mastered the complexities of html. It doesn't exactly inspire confidence. Plus, the picture of the weapon looks phony. Posters at Slashdot have been all over this, dubbing the company a 'homeland security scam' and declaring that the weapon doesn't exist. In the company's favor, it has been awarded a small grant from the navy. Plus, they've been written about in the New Scientist. The Slashdot criticism is evidently making the company nervous, because on its website it now announces (in all capital letters) that:
CRITICISM OF THIS WEBSITE OR THE LIMITED INFORMATION UPON WHICH THE CRITICISM IS BASED IS IRRELEVANT AND WILL SOON BE PROVEN SO. PLEASE STAY TUNED.

The company promises a public demonstration of the StunStrike in the Autumn of 2004. So the question is, will the Slashdot people be proven right and the StunStrike turn out to be just smoke and mirrors... or will Xtreme Alternative Defense Systems disprove them and produce a real weapon? Poll below. We should know the answer by the end of the year.

Walk and Talk Hoax Caller — Nokia offers a product they call the 'Walk and Talk Hoax Caller.' Their ad copy describes it as a hands-free voice changer for your mobile phone. "Prank call Anonymous Calls Winding up your mates and enemies. The fun really begins when you plug in the Hoax Caller and switch the unit on." Yeah, buy this product and you too can be just like the creepy-looking loser in their ad making obscene phone calls to young teenage girls. I wonder what marketing genius picked out this sinister scenario to sell the product? (via Red Ferret Journal)

Second Thoughts About Rance — Yesterday I suggested that the anonymous blogger 'Rance' might really be a cartoonist/screenwriter named Keith Thomson because Thomson's name kept popping up when I tracked down who was initially hyping Rance in internet discussion groups. But people have pointed out that movie studios and talent agencies often create phony identities that they use to hype projects they're working on. Maybe the phony identities they used to hype Rance just happened to have been used earlier to hype Thomson's work. Could be. And whoever runs Defamer seems to feel confident that Rance really is a celebrity.

So I'm willing to consider that Rance is a celebrity. If this is the case, then it would be a celebrity who's a client of International Creative Management, and who probably is also a client of Nick Reed, the same agent who represents Keith Thomson. I searched for celebrities who fit this profile and the person I came up with is Kevin Pollak. He's a comedian; and he's represented by Nick Reed. Plus, what he writes on his online diary sounds a bit like Rance.
Admittedly Pollak is a shot in the dark. But I'm pretty sure that someone at ICM (most likely Nick Reed) helped hype Rance, so ICM somehow holds the solution to the mystery of who he is.

Unfortunate URLs — I posted an entry a week or so ago about unfortunate last names. On a related subject, here are some unfortunate URLs. First we have cummingfirst.com. It's the website of the Cumming First United Methodist Church located in Cumming, Georgia (via The Presurfer). It's definitely a real church and not a joke. Next we have IPWine.com, home on the web of the Ingleside Vineyards in Virginia. I actually visited the Ingleside Vineyards (it's a nice place), and when they told me their website url I had to ask them if they were joking. Incredibly, it didn't seem to have occurred to them what their url spelled out. Along the same lines is IPAnywhere (also not a joke). And WhorePresents.com. The classic joke url is PowergenItalia.com (or Power Genitalia), which has nothing to do with the real company called Powergen.

Who is Rance? — The latest buzz in the blogosphere is about the weblog of 'Rance,' an anonymous blogger who claims to be a well-known, A-list, Hollywood celebrity. Or as he coyly puts it on his weblog, "I can tell you what it's like to see your picture on the magazine rack every now and again when you pay for groceries." For a couple of months he's been dishing up dirt on life in Hollywood, and he's succeeded in attracting a huge following. He even got interviewed (anonymously) by Reuters last week. But of course, he won't reveal who he is... which just makes everyone crazy to find out the secret. Is Rance really a celebrity, or is he just an average schmuck pretending to be a celebrity?

There have been quite a few theories about his identity. Xeni Jardin, over at BoingBoing posted a rumor that he was Owen Wilson, though she conceded he could just as easily be George Clooney or Mr. Potato Head. The Defamer weblog posted a clever theory from one of their readers that an LA-based ad agency named Butler, Shine, Stern, and Partners is secretly behind Rance's weblog. Their reasoning was that Rance's url is captainhoof.tripod.com, and the ad agency has a mascot called Captain Hoofers. Defamer also has suggested that Rance is really Ben Affleck, because Rance once made a reference to the initials 'OV,' and Ben has 'OV' tattooed on his back (seems like a bit of a stretch to me).


Anyway, I got hooked by the mystery and decided to see if I could find out anything about the identity of Rance, and I now have a lead suspect of my own. I think Rance is a cartoonist/filmmaker/screenwriter named Keith Thomson.

Here's my reasoning. What immediately struck me about Rance's weblog was that it attracted a very high number of comments from very early on. Within two hours after Rance posted his first entry on December 29, 2003, four people had left comments on his site. Most weblogs, by contrast, struggle to get anyone to read them, let alone leave comments. So how was he attracting so many visitors to his site straight off the bat?

What I discovered was that immediately after Rance posted his first entry on Dec. 29 at 4:49 EST, someone going by the screen name 'InvaderFromPluto' began posting messages about his weblog on various fan discussion groups. For instance, at 5:52, about one hour after Rance had posted his first entry, a message from InvaderFromPluto appears on Yahoo's thematthewperryplace message board. It reads:

i read slate reported a famous tv actor keeping a weblog under
pseudonym "rance" at http://captainhoof.tripod.com/blog/
it's hard to know if it is him, but it might be as it is funny and
seems witty in his sort of way

Obviously Slate hadn't written anything about Rance's weblog. Rance's weblog, at that time, was only an hour old. So how did InvaderFromPluto know about Rance's weblog so quickly, and why was he so interested in promoting it? Perhaps InvaderFromPluto was Rance himself. Makes sense to me.

InvaderFromPluto can be found promoting Rance's weblog in other discussion groups. Here he is with the same message over at HugeHughGrantFans.

So how can we find out who InvaderFromPluto is? A simple Google search revealed that throughout 2002 and 2003 InvaderFromPluto was busy on various message boards promoting the cartoon work of Keith Thomson. He even promoted what seems to be an early Keith Thomson hoax: an online petition trying to stop Britney Spears's lawyers from suing him (even though Spears's lawyers don't seem to have had any intention to sue him).

So I think it's very likely that InvaderFromPluto is Keith Thomson (who else would be so tirelessly promoting his work). Therefore, by extension, Keith Thomson is also Rance. To put it in mathematical form: Rance = InvaderFromPluto = Keith Thomson.

Or, if Rance isn't Keith Thomson, then, at the very least, Thomson seems to be involved somehow.

Here's a bio of Keith Thomson from the atomfilms site:

Keith Thomson played a season of semi-professional baseball in Europe before becoming a political cartoonist for New York Newsday. His work appeared in many other publications, including GQ and Howard Stern's book Miss America. His short film, "Cupidity," played at Sundance and can now be seen on Atomshockwave. He has since written feature film screenplays for Imagine, Paramount and Sony. He also wrote for Bill Plympton's animated MTV show, "Helter Shelter." Thomson is represented by Nick Reed of ICM.

So Thomson is a guy who knows Hollywood. Plus he has a sense of humor. Sounds a lot like Rance to me.
Update: David Emery just emailed me some more evidence linking Keith Thomson to Rance. Check out the
screen name ("Captain Hoof") on this 2002 newsgroup post that links to a Keith Thomson video.
Update 2: Another theory to consider is that the person using the screen name InvaderFromPluto wasn't Keith Thomson. It could have been Thomson's agent at ICM, Nick Reed (Reed gets a 'co-created by' credit on Thomson's films, so he would be just as likely to promote the films as Thomson). If this is the case, then Rance could be Nick Reed. Or he could be one of Reed's other clients.
Update 3: I just posted some second thoughts about the Keith Thomson/Rance connection. I still think Thomson is a prime suspect, but I'm not 100% sure.

Crappy Dialup — If you're tired of having fast, always-on broadband service, then why not switch over to CrappyDialup.com. After all, there's no pleasure quite like that of making everyone who calls you get a busy signal. (via The Presurfer)

4-Wheel Segway Coming Soon — Rumors are flying that the next generation model of the popular Segway will one-up the original by adding an extra set of wheels to the vehicle, thereby producing the 4-wheel 'p-series' Segway. The platform will also be lengthened so that two people can stand on it at once. Of course, as Gizmodo points out, this completely defeats the purpose of the thing since "the whole point of the Segway is that it balances itself on two wheels." But it sure sounds good. (via Gizmodo)

Boycott Gillette — I've received quite a few emails with questions like this: Is Gillette really putting spy chips inside of their products that allow them to spy on consumers at a distance? Is the company surreptitiously snapping photographs of people who pick up their products from store shelves? Are these and other claims being made at the Boycott Gillette website really true? Well, the strange thing is, as wild as these claims sound, they're actually true. Or rather, they used to be true... and could be true again in the future. Gillette did experiment with putting 'spy chips' (wireless transmitting devices, also known as RFID tags, or Radio Frequency Identification Tags) inside of the packaging of its products. And it did experiment with photographing people who picked up its products in stores. This was all revealed last year (read about it in this Guardian article). Gillette claims that it's not currently continuing these experiments, but it's still an enthusiastic supporter of the concept of the use of RFID tags, believing that they could help prevent theft and help the company better manage its inventory. They dismiss claims that the chips would be used to spy on people outside of the store. Dick Cantwell, Vice-president of global business management for Gillette, has been quoted in the media as saying that Gillette would probably only consider putting RFID tags in all its products once the price of the tags came down to around one cent each. Maybe in ten years or so. Another organization (besides Boycott Gillette) that's worried about the privacy concerns that the use of RFID tags raises is Consumers Against Supermarket Privacy Invasion and Numbering. Personally, I've been boycotting Gillette for years for a different reason. Their razor blades are too expensive. Plus, I don't see a need to have double, triple, or quadruple-bladed razors (or whatever number they're now up too). A cheap single-bladed, generic razor works fine for me.

Computer Grading? — Robert Yagelowich pointed this article out to me, and like him what I read initially made me pretty skeptical. The article describes a computer program that's being used to grade student essays. Not just grade the spelling and punctuation, but the content itself. Since computers can't even be relied on to spellcheck very well, I couldn't imagine how they would grade content. I had suspicions of another ChatNannies type of hoax. But apparently computer-grading is real. The software, called E-Rater, has been developed by Educational Testing Services, and they provide an online demo of how it works. I used to be a teaching assistant at UC San Diego, and I graded thousands of student essays. And I have to admit that human graders are often pretty fallible. By the time you get to the bottom of a stack of essays, you're just going through those things as fast as possible, barely reading them. So maybe a computer could grade essays better than a human. The computer, at least, wouldn't grade differently depending on how much coffee it had drunk, or how little sleep it had got.

The Mystery of Polybius — Polybius, if you believe this website, was a video game developed by the CIA (or some other shadowy government organization) back in the early days of video games, 1981. But the game was really a secret experiment in behavior modification. Only a few of the game machines ever saw the light of day. They appeared in a few arcades in a suburb of Portland. Kids who played the game reportedly suffered disturbing side effects. They "woke up at night screaming, having horrible nightmares." Some later developed amnesia. Occasionally black-coat types would come to collect 'records' from the games. So did Polybius really exist, or is it all a hoax? Here is a rare photograph of one of the Polybius machines (or perhaps it's just a modern photoshop). Even if it is just a hoax (which, yeah, it probably is) it still makes a pretty good story. (Thanks, Rob).

Don Fulci, Terrorist Mastermind — According to US News, one day last April the FBI, acting on a tip from an informant, went on alert to track down an evil reclusive millionaire terrorist mastermind named Don Emilio Fulci who was planning chemical attacks against London and Washington DC. FBI Director Mueller was even informed about the threat that Fulci posed. Only later did someone in the White House realize that Don Fulci is the name of the crime boss in a video game named Headhunter. I wonder if that day in April happened to be April 1st? (via BoingBoing)

Ideltech — It looks like a real company. It even offers an online job application that you can fill in. But it's not a real company. It's actually part of an Alternative Reality Game called Aware, that you can find at RUAware.org. If I had just stumbled on this without knowing anything about it beforehand, I don't think I would have guessed it wasn't real. Though in hindsight, there are clues that give it away. For instance, most well-established companies don't sell t-shirts from cafeshops on their front page. (Thanks, Sonja).

Night-Vision Contact Lenses — CIO Magazine has a little blurb about these night-vision contact lenses available for a mere $300 from Phoenix Sight (scroll down to find the listing). They're powered by blinking your eyes. But actually, there is no such company as Phoenix Sight, so don't go asking your optician for these just yet. The source of this wild-eyed invention is a Design Challenge sponsored by Popular Science and Core77. The relevant entry is here. The description notes that to get the contacts to work, even in theory, you'd first have to rub neodymium-iron-boron gel in your eyes, which really doesn't sound very pleasant. I have no idea if the military ever has experimented with anything like this. (via Jeff's Super Happy Funtime Blog)

Update: Core77 has a pretty cool illustration of how the contacts are supposed to work.

Anti Mosquito Software — Are you constantly swatting away mosquitoes as you work at your computer? Here's your solution: anti-mosquito software. A Thai computer programmer named Saranyou Punyaratanabunbhu developed it about two years ago, and it proved so wildly successful that he soon came out with version 2.0, that also promised to repel cockroaches and rats. It drives away the nasty critters by making your computer speakers emit high-pitched frequencies. But does it actually work? Well, I wouldn't bet on it. As the pest control experts at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln note in their Cockroach Control Manual, "There is no scientific evidence to suggest that cockroaches (or any other insects) respond negatively to ultrasonic sound waves." Still, this hasn't stopped a South Korean phone company, SK Telecom, from offering anti-mosquito software that you can download to your cellphone. (Thanks, Steve)

The Lavender iPod — For a brief while, there was a chance to buy a Lavender iPod on eBay. But now the item has been pulled. Probably because lavender iPods don't exist. (via engadget)

Hot Abercrombie Chick Mystery Solved, Probably — A few days ago I posted about the controversy brewing around the Hot Abercrombie Chick (or HAC, for short). The HAC appeared to be an extremely photogenic young female blogger whose blog was rapidly increasing in popularity. But then rumors started to circulate that she wasn't a she at all. She was a he. And the blog's popularity appeared to be due to manipulation of the way blogs are tracked. Justin Foster and Cameron Marlow have done some impressive internet detective work and traced down who the HAC most likely is: a guy living in St. Louis named Daniel Zeigenbein. They did it by uncovering the IP addresses that the HAC had left behind when posting on message boards, and they all originated in St. Louis. That just happens to be where Daniel Zeigenbein lives. Daniel was mentioned in one of the first posts on the HAC's blog, and Justin and Cameron had long suspected he was the real HAC. Making it even more suspicious, Daniel had a blog that he abandoned right before the HAC started up hers.