Jesus on the Half Shell

image Here's another image-of-God-appears-in-food story. The BBC reports that a Swiss bar manager, Matteo Brandi, has found an oyster shell that bears the spitting image of Jesus Christ, though to me it looks more like what I imagine the Sea-God Poseidon should look like. Mr. Brandi said he found the shell when "The oyster stuck to his hand as if God was calling him." He also points out that his oyster shell is unique because, unlike the Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese Sandwich, it is "the work of nature." That's true. A few hundred years ago Mr. Brandi's shell would have been referred to as a Lusus Naturae. Mr. Brandi doesn't need any encouragement to sell his holy oyster shell online. That's already his plan.

Food Religion

Posted on Tue Jan 18, 2005


whats with people seeing god in food items??? these people must go to restrants and freak out as they see the main course contains three avatars of christ...

maybe jesus is just upping his advertising campaign... "i cant belive its not salvation"
Posted by joeodd  on  Tue Jan 18, 2005  at  03:45 PM
The people who see relegious figures in food have a few screws missing.
Posted by Dany  in  Texas  on  Tue Jan 18, 2005  at  03:55 PM
It looks like my Uncle Harvey after his stroke...wait...doesn't that mean my Uncle Harvey is the Second Coming?
Harvey Christ?
Posted by Gee...  on  Tue Jan 18, 2005  at  04:11 PM
You people are being duped! It's obviously Stan Laurel!
Posted by Floormaster Squeeze  on  Tue Jan 18, 2005  at  05:35 PM
People are seeing $$$$$ signs, and jokes about it, not Christ. It's just funny (not really for much longer) to post, Do you see Jesus? objects ant see who bites (into the grill cheese that is).
Posted by sbnature  in  sb ca  on  Tue Jan 18, 2005  at  06:34 PM
I'm with you about Poseidon. Maybe Poseiden is calling for new worshippers.
Posted by cvirtue  on  Tue Jan 18, 2005  at  06:45 PM
Oh yeah, and I have the real 'True Piece of the Cross', entrusted to my great X 7 grandfather by the Knights Templar. Anyone for a Crusade? Who the f**k do these people think they are, anyway? Oh, and now we have a "true Catholic" charlatan. Hope you enjoy the profits of your soiled deed, buddy. I wonder if "true believers" in Switzerland believe in purgatory?
Posted by stork  in  the spiracles of space  on  Tue Jan 18, 2005  at  08:38 PM
Dany said:

"The people who see religious figures in food have a few screws missing."

You're assuming that they HAVE screws in the first place or that they aren't just BS artists trying to make a fast buck.

I feel that I should note here that a lot of these "apparitions" are not really hoaxes, because many of the people who "see" things in food, stains on the wall, etc. aren't consciously lying. A lot of them really *believe* this nonsense.

A hoax is a deliberate act of deception. "Seeing" Jesus in your soup isn't necessarily an attempt to fool others; it may just be the result of religiously-induced fantasy. I suspect the latter is often the case with these silly things.
Posted by crankymediaguy  on  Tue Jan 18, 2005  at  08:53 PM
However, it is safe to assume that the possessor of the Jesus Food in question IS a lying huckster and not an earnest believer if he is trying to make a buck out of it.

After all, it's pretty reasonable to think that if a person really believed he had found evidence of a divine manifestation in his life, he wouldn't sell it. He'd put it in a little shrine and venerate it.

It's just like how you can tell the real, faithful preachers from the phoney-baloney con-men--real preachers don't try to scam you for cash.
Posted by Barghest  on  Tue Jan 18, 2005  at  10:44 PM
You may well have a point there, Barghest.
Posted by crankymediaguy  on  Wed Jan 19, 2005  at  03:52 AM
Money money money. It's all about the money. Hey if people are stupid enough to buy pet rocks, (remember them) they'll buy anything. All this stuff is nothing more than pictures in a cloud.
Now on a more serious note, Jesus was a 1st century jew. He most likely looked nothing at all like the view people have of him. He was probably olive skin colored with black hair.
Posted by John L.  on  Wed Jan 19, 2005  at  12:13 PM
And in this case, presented on a bed of sea salt with a lemon garnish, John L.
Posted by Tyler  on  Wed Jan 19, 2005  at  02:28 PM
It doesn't really look like Jesus, or even a face, but it DOES bear an uncanny resemblance to an oyster shell (or rather to half an oyster shell).
Posted by Big Gary C  in  Dallas, Texas  on  Wed Jan 19, 2005  at  04:16 PM
"Jesus was a 1st century jew. He most likely looked nothing at all like the view people have of him. He was probably olive skin colored with black hair."
That IS the view I have of him.
But of course, it could be wrong. None of the surviving accounts of Jesus say anything at all about his physical appearance, except that he was a man.
Posted by Big Gary C  in  Dallas, Texas  on  Wed Jan 19, 2005  at  08:53 PM
Right with you guys, there, but Gary - oysters only HAVE one shell; they're not bi-valved like clams. They spend their whole little oyster lives, after disbursement following birth, anchored to a rock, or other such object, desparately HOPING that something else won't EAT them!! At least they would, if they had any brains.
Posted by stork  in  the spiracles of space  on  Wed Jan 19, 2005  at  11:38 PM
Oops - meant to say, 'if any of them HAD a brain, which they don't. Tasty little suckers, too!
Posted by stork  in  the spiracles of space  on  Wed Jan 19, 2005  at  11:46 PM
If God or the Virgin Mary or Elvis or John Lennon or whoever want to appear why don't they just do it in Central Park or on the Jay Leno show.
This stuff about Mary on a pane of glass or a grilled cheese sandwich or Jesus on peanut butter is asisine. Like all those preachers say, God loves you, send me money. I agree that it's all about money, money, and more money. I think I'll go send some money to TBN, yeah right.
Posted by Skeptic  on  Thu Jan 20, 2005  at  11:44 AM
stork, oysters are bivalves. Or as one beginning biology text puts it: "Bivalve Mollusks: Shellfish with two opposing shells that are hinged at one end with an elastic byssal material and brought together with attached muscles." A quick Google came up with 37,000 references to oysters being bivalves, i.e. having two opposing shells etc. But if that's too much trouble, try going to any oyster bar and asking to watch the staff prepare oysters on the half shell (notice they aren't oysters on the "full shell"), and you'll see that the two shells have to be pried apart with a knife or other implement before you can scoop out the edible part.
Indeed, though, they don't have brains, which is probably an advantage for them.
Posted by Big Gary C  in  Dallas, Texas  on  Thu Jan 20, 2005  at  04:13 PM
I was looking to see if anyone else had made the logical connection between christ and poseidon (neptune). Other than being water gods and having the number 777, they have somewhat more than this in common....

This is the poem: Gods of the Sea
Posted by Jon Bain  in  South Africa  on  Thu Jan 19, 2006  at  02:09 PM
*sarcastic mode ON*Yeah, and your salvation comes from an oyster shell.*sarcastic mode OFF*
Geez, people will do anything for money.... even call an oyster as "GOD".
Posted by dandi  on  Sat Jan 28, 2006  at  05:48 AM
Yes, sometime it is very shocking to see these kind of pictures, signs and other that tend to be a resemblances of god. I have no idea to accept it or to tell it is just a fake or shell design... Anyway thanks for the article.
Posted by hinduja  on  Wed Jul 16, 2008  at  12:15 AM
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