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Have I Murdered Hufu?
Two weeks ago I linked to the website of a company with plans to sell human-flavored tofu. I thought it was kind of funny at the time, but after posting the link I didn't think much about it until a few days ago when I received an email from Mark Nuckols, CEO of HUFU (the human tofu company). Mark requested that I remove the post about Hufu from my site, because by mentioning his product on the Museum of Hoaxes, he was concerned that people might think that Hufu wasn't real, or that it was some kind of hoax. Specifically he wrote that, "having it even come up on "museum of hoaxes" implies something not true, and as a debunker of hoaxes I am sure you don't wish to inadvertently or carelessly libel people trying to undertake the difficult enough task of starting a business."

I told Mark that I thought his product was funny and I definitely supported it, but that I wasn't about to remove the post from my site. I have a real problem about removing things from my site unless they're shown to be false.

My response didn't satisfy Mark, who is now up to his third email to me. He seems like a nice guy, and I'm not certain that he isn't pulling my leg about this whole thing (although his emails sound very serious). But he really wants the post about his company removed. In fact, he's making me feel very guilty. In his last email he said that "being on your website is going to kill this undertaking in its crib... I am sure putting our business in jeopardy is not your intent." Ouch. But I'm not ready to accept that kind of blame. Sure, my site is called the Museum of Hoaxes, but that doesn't mean that everything on it is a hoax. Plus, the question I raised is a valid one: how would any customers know if this stuff really does taste like human flesh?

Anyway, my purpose in posting about this is so that if people google 'hufu' and find my site, they'll also see this post where I'm going to state that I don't want to be responsible for the death of Hufu. I genuinely think it's a funny marketing concept, and Mark Nuckols insists that it's real. However, I still don't understand how he can know that it really tastes like human flesh.
Food
Posted by The Curator on Wed Jun 01, 2005
Alex- you are weaving a path of destruction with your links to some of these sites... Have you no remorse, have you no regret, have you no lawyers?
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Thu Jun 02, 2005  at  12:01 AM
I've heard many times in movies that human flesh tastes like chicken.

And as they say, if it's in a movie, then it must be true!
Posted by Guillaume Choquette  in  Montr  on  Thu Jun 02, 2005  at  08:14 AM
Are they kidding? They're knocking back free advertising? So many more people will know about their product if people link to it.
I'm surprised they havent started up a secret splinter group to try and ban the product on religous/ethical reasons.
Posted by Bruce  on  Thu Jun 02, 2005  at  08:29 AM
This guy's crazy if he thinks he can create "human-flavoured tofu" and expect people to take him seriously. Whether or not he's been linked to from Museum of Hoaxes, he's fighting an uphill battle to gain any kind of credibility. Not to mention that according to the website, Hufu is back-ordered. Is it even possible to buy it?
Posted by AqueousBoy  on  Thu Jun 02, 2005  at  09:18 AM
What part of human flesh does it tastes like? It could as well tastes like anus, one never know. Not that I have anything against Mark Nuckols eating anuses.
Posted by teh ghey  on  Thu Jun 02, 2005  at  09:30 AM
Can it be eaten with fava beans?
Posted by Citizen Premier  in  spite of public outcry  on  Thu Jun 02, 2005  at  09:52 AM
Has anyone ever TRIED Hufu? There are no pictures of the actual product on the site, no reports from people other than the creators who have tasted it. If it actually exists... why has no one seen it?
Posted by gdub  on  Thu Jun 02, 2005  at  10:58 AM
IF the tofu actually exists, he'd be a fool not to mail you a sample.
Posted by Princess Hoo-Dee-Doo  on  Thu Jun 02, 2005  at  11:09 AM
I's got a feelin' that the CEO of HUFU is sittin' in his parent's basement right now, suicidal over this horrific turn of events... his empire is in peril! Tell him to switch his company's name to Soylent Green and all the negative publicity will vanish. Sheesh.

...MARK NUCKOLS ATE AN ANUS...
Posted by booch  on  Thu Jun 02, 2005  at  12:01 PM
Sorry, but I agree with him. I would be doing the same if you had something about my company on here. By including it here, you are implying, or people could easily infer, that it is a hoax or in someway untrustworthy. It may be an odd product, but it is, apparently, a product.
Posted by Dood  on  Thu Jun 02, 2005  at  01:04 PM
>> By including it here, you are implying, or people could easily infer, that it is a hoax or in someway untrustworthy.<<

Cause I was ready to believe it was real before? I don't think so. I would think this is a hoax, regardless of it being on this site.
Posted by Bill B.  on  Thu Jun 02, 2005  at  01:34 PM
As the saying goes...."There's no such thing as bad press". Human flavored ANYTHING would be noting more than a novelty item, and it wouldn't matter where the advertising came from.

And what flavorings and spices would one use to emulate the taste of human flesh? Wouldn't it really have to depend on the ethnicity of the person? If there's a market for HUFU, there'd probably be a market for Italian-human flavored tofu, or Indian, or Chinese. Get a little ethnic flavoring in your tofu while you're at it!

*Note* Patent is pending on my ethnic human flavored tofu, so Nuckols, if you read this, don't even think about stealing my idea!
Posted by Silentz  in  general  on  Thu Jun 02, 2005  at  01:55 PM
I've thought a bit on this, and this is my view at this point: Feed 'Em Fish Heads... just because their company or site name comes up in a search, doesn't make it truly related...hell, my name could come up in a Google search under some comment that a poster mentioned on an Incredibly Hunky Hairy Guys website, but that don't make it so (it is in this case, but that don't make it the rule)...Alex may even proclaim his belief that some operation is a hoax, but unless he does it with Malice Aforethought, and with Clear Intent upon damaging the economic viability of that person, he's still kinda protected...I hope...otherwise, he's in deep doo doo
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Thu Jun 02, 2005  at  02:06 PM
By including it here, you are implying, or people could easily infer, that it is a hoax or in someway untrustworthy.

Only if they're people who can't read...
Posted by Boo  in  The Land of the Haggii...  on  Thu Jun 02, 2005  at  02:37 PM
Everyone, including HuFU, is giving this site too much credit.
Posted by Big Dave  in  Hell  on  Thu Jun 02, 2005  at  02:44 PM
>>Alex may even proclaim his belief that some operation is a hoax, but unless he does it with Malice Aforethought, and with Clear Intent upon damaging the economic viability of that person, he's still kinda protected<<

thats true, its just like me posting that macs are faultily built crap machines on a message board
Posted by Hawkeye  in  Minnesota  on  Thu Jun 02, 2005  at  04:52 PM
If I ever start a business, I would be honored for you to call it a hoax.
Posted by wdl  in  honolulu  on  Thu Jun 02, 2005  at  06:08 PM
Did you say anything about Hufu that was not true?
No, I didn't think so. Therefore, you have no reason to remove the item.

Does it really taste like people? I hope I never find out.
Posted by Big Gary C in Dallas  in  Dallas, Texas, USA  on  Thu Jun 02, 2005  at  07:35 PM
sure it tastes like human flesh but as any true connoisseuir can attest to, it's all about the texture wink

seriously though, I never made any assumptions as to whether or not this is a hoax simply because I heard about it at "The Museum Of Hoaxes".
Posted by Chuck  in  Providence, RI  on  Fri Jun 03, 2005  at  09:38 AM
The only thing I seem to be able to currently buy from HuFu(tm) are shirts, aprons and DvDs because all the HuFu(tm)Classic Stips are on back-order...

The DvDs are all movies that feature "flesh eating" as a theme like "Cannibal: The Musical", "Alive!" and, of course, "Soylent Green."

Bon Appitite
Posted by Michael  on  Fri Jun 03, 2005  at  12:43 PM
Sorry, but it isn't the Hoax site thats going to kill this product in the crib...
Posted by Gunnar Rieger  in  Boston  on  Fri Jun 03, 2005  at  12:47 PM
Just to find out, I have right this minute sucked my left forearm for a few seconds. It tasted of soap... and faintly of washing powder. So, there you have it. Human flesh tastes of soap and washing powder.
Posted by Ashley Pomeroy  on  Fri Jun 03, 2005  at  05:53 PM
So, there you have it. Human flesh tastes of soap and washing powder.

Well that would depend on where or what the person you decided to taste was doing right? Let's see, I clamped my mouth on someones arm and it tasted like salt. Obviously this person had been sweating.

Nuckels, stop repackaging spam mixed with tofu and marketing it as Hufu! If you want us all to believe in you, present scientific fact that Hufo does indeed exist and that it does indeed taste like flesh *shudders* yuck. I think you would have had a better chance at marketing something like human hair dental floss or something.
Posted by Derek Punsalan  on  Sat Jun 04, 2005  at  03:56 AM
Don
Posted by Beasjt  on  Sat Jun 04, 2005  at  06:14 AM
As the vice-president of co-development of PepsiBlue, I would be horrifed to see my company's product PepsiBlue mentioned on this site about hoaxes. I would rather see http://www.pepsiblue.com properly linked among non-hoax sites and not on sites like this one that list hoaxes. That would not be good for PepsiBlue was we work hard to create customer awareness and appreciation for our superior product among non-hoax appreciating users.
Posted by Steve Portigal  in  Montara, CA  on  Sat Jun 04, 2005  at  11:45 AM
"... something like human hair dental floss ..."
Hmmm, would that work?
If so, it would save me maybe 25 cents per month.
Posted by Big Gary C in Dallas  in  Dallas, Texas, USA  on  Sat Jun 04, 2005  at  01:56 PM
"being on your website is going to kill this undertaking in its crib... I am sure putting our business in jeopardy is not your intent."

If Hufu's CEO is still reading this, I think he knows the obvious by now. What's killing his business undertaking is the fact this his concept is utterly revolting & unappetizing. Of course jeopordizing his business is not Alex's intent. But if HuFu IS real, then boycotting it is MY intent..
Posted by Electra  on  Sat Jun 04, 2005  at  06:46 PM
Besides, 'inconvenient' Google search results are a fact oflife. People actually got very upset recently because a Google for 'Jew' would pop up some scathingly anti-semetic websites at the top of the list, because they used a lot of link-farming techniques.. Things have been tweaked since then to prevent it, but if he's worried about a negative result popping up, bear in mind that most search engines accept bri.. er.. have Sponsored Links that pop up first..
Posted by Bobcat  on  Sun Jun 05, 2005  at  03:45 AM
try the old 'any publicity's good publicity' thing. kinda true, i wouldnt know about it otherwise
Posted by thunder  in  England  on  Sun Jun 05, 2005  at  10:36 AM
Hell, at this point I would try to darn stuff, just to see how bad or not it is.

I'd even be happy to report back to all you guys, but I'm not sure it really exists either. Mind you, I've never tasted human flesh, in the literal sense, so I couldn't tell you if it really did taste like people or not.
Posted by Winona  in  USA  on  Sun Jun 05, 2005  at  04:47 PM
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