Fictitious Products of April Fool's Day

"All Fools' Day was not unremembered yesterday, although the practical jokes incidental to it are not as much relished or looked forward to in America as in England and France.

Street hawkers did a lively trade downtown in so-called April Fool cigars, which were offered at 5 cents each and were said to be explosive. Some of the Custom House clerks laid in a stock of them, which they presented to brokers. To the amazement and disgust of the buyers, who expected the cigars to go off like firecrackers when they were well started, they smoked quite as comfortably to the end as was to be expected of cigars at that price, fooling the foolers completely.

Chocolate stuffed with cotton was generously distributed at the Stock Exchange, and provision men at the Produce Exchange set burning matches in dough on each other's hats and indulted in other pranks which amused them."
[New York Times, Apr 2, 1896.] More…

Kaufmann's department store in Pittsburgh ran an ad in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette featuring a variety of "out of this world" items for sale in the store, including "zip-on wallpaper" that could easily be zipped on or off, a "mirro dress" with mirrors at the side for a slimming effect, a garden hat with real flowers growing out of it, a sun-tan umbrella with built-in ultraviolet lights, and ceramic paste guaranteed to grow handles on cups overnight. More…

Byte Magazine, in its What's New column, described a useful new computer component, the 7N-∞ BHD (black-hole diode):

"Another new addition in the small-components market is the 7N-∞ BHD (black-hole diode). This device has two inputs and no output. Care must be taken to shield this component appropriately or it may absorb the unit it is placed in. The 7N-∞ will accept any voltage or current value. It is useful for GI (garbage-in) applications. Due to the light-absorption qualities of the device, we could not provide a photograph. Contact Spatial Regression Ltd, POB 463, Paulborough NH 03458." More…

Byte magazine profiled a new Debugging Tool that "Irons Out Circuit Problems":

The General Electric Model F340 Electric Iron serves as a handy debugging tool for crucial logic circuits that must exhibit planar topology or use especially thin-film substrates. Using the latest deionized-vapor-injection technology, the Model F340 can be used with circuits arrayed on fiber substrates up to 0.1 cm (approximately 1/8 inch) thick, assuming proper adjustments for duration of treatment. More…

Byte Magazine described an "erase-only memory" circuit in it's "What's New" section:

The Stanislowski Electronics 3131.3 is a 4 Kbyte, vigorous, random-access erase-only memory (RAEOM) Imaginary Metal Oxide Semiconductor (IMOS) integrated circuit (IC)... Possible applications include disposing of obsolete data and programs, destroying incriminating evidence, and amusing computer hobbyists. Due to the patented IMOS process, the 3131.3 remains fully functional even when power is removed, making it ideal for use during power blackouts. More…

The Sinclair ZX81, launched in 1981, was the first cheap mass-market home computer. However, it lacked a hard drive, storing data instead on audio tape cassettes. However, Byte magazine revealed that a third-party supplier, Hindsight Engineering, was introducing a 5-megabyte hard disk for the ZX81. (At the time, 5 megabytes was considered an extremely large size):

Responding to an obvious need of ZX81 owners for more data storage space, Hindsight Engineering has developed a 5-megabyte hard-disk system for the Sinclair ZX81. The system is available in either assembled or kit forms. The kit includes instructions for building your own clean room for kit assembly. A DOS will soon be available.

Hundreds of readers wrote to the magazine requesting more information. More…

Byte magazine featured a new portable computer, available from the Honda Corporation, called the "Transporter":

"The first truly transportable computer. With a few simple twists, you can transform the Transporter from a portable computer (with full keyboard, 24-line by 80-column display, and two microfloppy-disk drives) into a single-passenger automobile... The Transporter is 100 percent compatible with the popular Toyota Corolla and runs on most operating roads."

Byte later received a call from a USA Today reporter inquiring about the Transporter. More…

Byte Magazine featured a section called "What's Not," instead of its usual "What's Hot" section. Included were technological gadgets such as computer disks made of soybeans:

If merely erasing sensitive data is not enough for you, Soycure Systems of Tokyo has developed the ultimate in disk security. Made entirely of processed soybeans, Parasoya Disks are writable, readable, and edible. Parasoya disks contain 84 percent more protein than average floppy disks and are available in 5¼-inch (regular) and 3½-inch (crunchy) formats. More…

Byte magazine described a new product called the MacKnifer:

"Ennui Associates has announced MacKnifer, a hardware attachment that mounts on the side of your Macintosh and sharpens knives, scissors, lawn-mower blades—anything in your home that needs sharpening. With MacKnifer's patented double-action grinding wheel, you can easily sharpen any utensil in less time than it takes the Mac to open a file. According to the manufacturer, MacKnifer is so easy to use that you can operate it within 30 minutes of taking it out of the box. Turn your spare computing time into extra cash with a knife-sharpening business on the side... of your Macintosh." More…

A Yorkshire ad agency, Male Winram Tweddle and Associates, placed an ad in the Yorkshire Post describing a new super-car, the Clegg GTi Turbo. The ad claimed that compared to this car "Owt else is nobbut middlin". A phone number was also provided for those wanting more information. When people called this number they were informed that they had "bin 'ad by some poncey ad agency." More…

Volkswagen ran an ad in the London Times promoting a car featuring a "decomposable roofrack." The tagline read, "It's not an April fool. It's a Volkswagen." More…

The Hoffman York & Compton ad firm released a mock ad for Aero, "the world's most accurate golf ball."

"By shifting the center of mass away from the immediate core, we've created a projectile that reacts with gyroscopic action. Quite simply, this means that the spin on the ball is greatly enhanced from the moment of impact by the club. And that increased spin, just like a gyroscope, actually fights erratic flight. The results are remarkable." More…

Mars Inc. ran a half-page ad in London's Daily Telegraph announcing the introduction of left and right-handed versions of its signature candy bar. It explained that for years left-handed people had been opening the wrapper from the wrong end and consequently were "eating against the chocolate flow on the bar surface." Therefore, the wrapper would henceforth come in two different versions, marked "L" and "R", with a "tear here" perforation at the appropriate corner. More…

Russia's Itar-Tass news agency reported that a military factory had begun manufacturing diamond-encrusted grenades, which it was selling to Russian gangsters who might be concerned that they could not only live glamorously but also "die luxuriously as well." The article noted, "The use of such a grenade will leave your one-time rival in a sea of beautiful sparkling gems rather than in a pool of blood." More…

Burger King published a full page ad in USA Today announcing the introduction of a "Left-Handed Whopper" specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. The new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments had been rotated 180 degrees, "thereby redistributing the weight of the sandwich so that the bulk of the condiments will skew to the left, thereby reducing the amount of lettuce and other toppings from spilling out the right side of the burger."

The next day Burger King revealed that thousands of customers had gone into its restaurants to request the new sandwich. Simultaneously "many others requested their own 'right handed' version." More…

Executives at 130 major companies received a professionally designed package of information about an exciting new product: Total Home Remote Electricity. This technology, manufactured by Ottmar Industries of Switzerland, allowed electricity to be beamed wirelessly anywhere within a house. Simply plug one of the small "projectors" into a wall outlet, and a safe electrical "aura" would envelop the home. By attaching a converter to any appliance, the appliance would be able to receive power at any location within the aura, even outside on the roof. "Did you ever imagine making toast on your roof?" the promotional material asked.

Accompanying the ads was a letter from a company called Hoffman York Plc that claimed to be an information-gathering service. Executives were invited to phone the 1-800 number to learn how Hoffman York could obtain information about products that might pose a competitive threat. The material provided was offered as an example. Over 30 people called the number, including three high-level executives. Hoffman York was really an advertising agency. The ads were April Fool's Day publicity stunts. More…

Red Herring Magazine profiled a revolutionary new internet technology called Orecchio (Italian for "ear"). This technology used the TIDE communications protocol (short for "Telepathic Internet Data Exchange") to allow users to compose and send e-mail telepathically. To e-mail telepathically users wore a device nestled between their ear and skull. The company developing this device was Tidal Wave Communications, led by Yuri Maldini, a computer genius from Estonia. Adding credibility to the story was a reference to some real research at Emory University in which researchers had allowed a paralyzed man to move a cursor across a computer screen by implanting a device in his brain. Mr. Maldini, who had once been employed by the U.S. Office of Naval Intelligence, claimed that he had developed the idea for Orecchio from the encrypted communications systems he had put in place during the Gulf War and the conflict in Somalia. Nevertheless, despite the revolutionary potential of telepathic e-mail, skeptics abounded. Clarence Madison, managing partner of New World Associates, was quoted as saying, "I know crap when I see it. This is crap." Ignoring such critics, Mr. Maldini was pressing ahead with his plans to commercialize Orecchio. He even was anticipating future features such as telepathic web browsers and word processors and the ability to receive e-mail telepathically as well as send it.

At the end of the Red Herring article the reporter recalled a moment when he asked Mr. Maldini how big the market for such a product might be: "Mr. Maldini falls silent. He stares vacantly for several moments out his office window and then says, 'I just sent you an email with my answer.' Upon returning to our office, we find the response waiting: 'It's going to be huge,' reads the email. 'Simply huge.'" Red Herring received numerous letters from readers admitting they had been fooled by the article. More…

The Daily Mail revealed that American scientists had invented "FatSox" — socks made out of a revolutionary new material that actually sucked fat out of a person's body as they sweated. The discovery promised to "speed up the fight against flab without any extra effort." The socks employed a nylon polymer that reacted with a newly-patented compound, Tetrafloramezathine, in order to draw fat out of the bloodstream: "As the exerciser warms up, molecules in the sock are activated by the increased blood flow and the material draws out the fatty liquids, or lipds, from the body through the sweat." After a good workout, the socks, and the fat, could simply be thrown away. More…

The Sunday East African Standard in Kenya printed an advertisement and a back-page story profiling a new mobile phone service provider called Kencom Limited. The new mobile phones would come with built-in scratch cards, internet service, videocams, and TV screens. What's more, service would cost a low rate of only four shillings per minute. To make the service even more attractive, a coupon was offered with the enticement that the first 3,000 people to submit the coupon would receive free phones. By noon, over 5,000 entry forms had already been submitted to the East African Standard Town Office in Nairobi. Among the hopefuls dropping off coupons were said to be top military personnel, politicians, and businessmen. More…

Online retailer ThinkGeek.com debuted a Desktop Zero-Point Infinite Power Generator, at a price of only $199.99, although the item was permanently "On Backorder".

"At the quantum level, all matter in the universe vibrates constantly - even at absolute zero! The Desktop Zero-Point Power Generator takes advantage of this seething abundant energy by converting naturally occurring EM energy into 120 Volts / 200 Amps of electricity.
The generator is 8 inches square, and weighs just under 3 pounds. When activated, the generator will generate power indefinitely! The unit emits a very quiet whirr, and less than 600 rem of residual ionizing radiation! ThinkGeek recommends you drain the unit's non-volitile waste chamber once every three months, and dispose of the tritium/deuterium slurry at a licensed disposal facility.
Sorry, not available in 220V."

A ThinkGeek spokesman later told Wired magazine that long after posting the generator for sale, they continued to receive numerous requests to purchase it: "We've had people e-mailing us from all over the world telling us they were very interested in it." More…

Car-maker MINI placed ads in several Australian papers describing a new space-saving technology: the Vertical Parking Locator (VPL), which allowed MINIs to park vertically on the side of buildings:

"ASC+T-backed VPL gives MINIs sufficient traction to attain and maintain an erect parking position and to cling securely to the side of the designated building. All-but seamless in operation, VPL makes its presence felt via a subtle frisson of vibration as the traction system is activated. A warning jingle recorded by a string quartet in the key of G also sounds." More…

Dunlop Tires announced the introduction of personalized tire treads:

"For hundreds of years people have been monogramming their clothes, and there's certainly no shortage of personalized license plates, so why shouldn't they be able to add a personal touch to their tires too?' said Ian McIntosh, General Manager of Advertising & Marketing Services, Dunlop Tires (Canada)...

Dunlop Ident-a-Treds are the product of more than a decade of top-secret work at the company's remote Canadian research and development facility in Serit Polnud, NWT. Researchers at the Serit Polnud lab created the new, ultra malleable and highly adhesive tires by combining sticky sap from Canadian maple trees with traditional rubber compounds. Dunlop Ident-a-Tred tires are available with initials, symbols, designs or logos engraved onto the tire treads, combining superior traction and handling with unique style." More…

Thinkgeek.com introduced the George Foreman USB iGrill, the "low-fat, high-bandwidth solution to your networked cooking needs":

"The George Foreman USB iGrill conveniently connects to your home or office PC using USB 2.0 technology, and provides a sophisticated web-based cooking interface. Download recipes, enter in the type of food, weight and desired degree of doneness, and the iGrill handles the rest. Did you know that a medium rare 1/4 lb. hamburger made from 80% lean beef takes 1 minute and 45 seconds less cook time than an identical patty made from 95% lean prime Black Angus? The iGrill does. As your meal cooks, the subtle glow from under the unit increases brightness and pulses faster until your meal is perfectly done." More…

Thinkgeek.com, an online retailer of offbeat gadgets, continued a multiyear tradition of posting fake gadgets on April 1st by debuting the PC EZ-Bake Oven: "It fits in a 5 1/4" drive bay and plugs right into your power supply with the included Molex connector… The PC Ez-Bake oven can even be used to cook your Pop Tarts, Bagel Bites, or any tiny or flat food. YUM!" More…

Virgin Mobile announced that it would be offering a left-handed Sony Ericsson LH-Z200 mobile phone: "Designed with a reversed keypad layout, the buttons are switched from right to left instead of standard left to right… This simple but clever design makes dialling, texting and menu navigation quicker and easier for anyone left-handed." A number of technology sites fell for the joke. More…

The German software company Application Systems Heidelberg debuted an iShave attachment for the iPod, allowing you to transform your iPod music player into an electric razor. The website boasted: "Now with your iPod you can not only hear good music everywhere, you can also get a smooth shave to look good." More…

Retailer Gear4 unveiled the iRon:

"The iRon™ is a revolutionary cable free travel iRon™ for the iPod™. Simplicity is the key to the iRon's design, simply unfold the iRon™, fill with water, dock your iPod™ and "Steam Your Tunes". The iRon™ uses the iPod's battery for power and the steam jets are controlled by the tunes playing on the iPod™ . Thanks to GEAR4's unique SteamTempo™ technology, the jets spray in time to the music – fast, bass heavy tunes producing more steam and softer music providing less." More…

PopXpress, a UK chain of stores dedicated to iPod and MP3 accessories, unveiled the iPop Bra, a product designed to help people keep "abreast of music":

"The new bra incorporates a concealed pocket for your iPod or MP3 player and control buttons built into the fabric. Available in white or black and in cup sizes ranging from A to F, the ipopBra has been designed so you can keep the smallest of gadgets right next to your biggest assets." More…

Nestle put out a press release announcing they were changing the name of the Butterfinger candy bar to "The Finger," in order to give the candy "a shorter, more contemporary name." More…

ThinkGeek described an unusual new Nintendo Wii game — Super Pii Pii Brothers, an "Amazing Virtual Pee Experience from Japan."

"Prepare yourself by strapping on the included belt harness and jacking in your Wiimote. A series of toilets are presented on screen and the challenge is to tilt your body to control a never-ending stream of pee. Get as much pee in the toilets as you can while spilling as little on the floor as possible." More…

The American grocery chain Whole Foods Market revealed a new product on its website: organic air. It came in .02 oz bottles in four varieties: original, sea breeze, mountain wind, and salt & vinegar. The grocery chain also announced that it was opening a new store in Antarctica, and that it was offering a free spider with every purchase of 50-lbs of organic bananas. More…

BMW unveiled "Magnetic Tow Technology."

"The unique system, developed in conjunction with NASA, works via a discreet unit located in the front valance that projects an enhanced magnetic beam 20 metres in front of the BMW. Once a suitable target car is located and the BMW is magnetically locked on behind it, the driver is then able to take his foot off the accelerator, turn off the engine and let the car in front do all the work. The towing car will not notice any change in manoeuvrability." More…

The Daily Mail revealed that Walkers Crisps had collaborated with acoustics experts at the London Institute of Sound Performance (LISP) to design noise-free crisps, to be marketed as "Ready Silent Cri-sshhp." The crisps allowed people to "eat loud snacks in the cinema without disturbing the person next to you." The crisp was said to have "the same flavour and crunchiness, except it comes already crushed." More…

Microsoft announced the release of a new game for the Xbox: Alpine Legend. It featured the tagline, "Join the Global Yodel." Players competed online by yodeling and blowing on an alpine horn:

"Take your band through all the alpine rights of passage: a mountainous village tour, recording sessions in a log cabin studio, overcoming throat soother addiction, and even competing in a live yodel off." More…

The Japan Times profiled a new social-networking service called TomoToday that would provide people with instant virtual friends, recruited from the ranks of unemployed temp workers. The service complemented sites such as Facebook by providing "a short cut to a substantial social-media presence."

"TomoToday subscribers will be able to choose from strategically selected sets of virtual friends, dubbed 'InstaNakama,' tailor-made to nurture the user's desired online identity. Say you're a shy young man, in need of pointers and ice-breaking intros. The Wingumen are at your service... Other readymade TomoToday circles include: Jetto Setto (multilingual friends from all over the globe); OB-Gun (long-lost school chums); Power Ranchers (for the corporate networks); and Geek Gumi (for socially challenged otaku)." More…

Candy shop A Quarter Of announced it would soon be selling the Chokle, a chocolate bar filled with helium gas:

"It's a chocolate bar that tastes great, makes you squeak and makes everyone else laugh... pure genius! Take a small bite and your voice goes up a little, eat a whole bar in a single mouthful and you approach your maximum Mickey Mouse squeakiness!" More…

Kodak debuted the "eye camera," which featured a "what you see is what you get" viewfinder, Facial Recall Assistant (handy for parties and reunions), Image Stabilizer (perfect for taking pictures after a glass of wine or two), Digital X-Ray Vision (developed in partnership with the Superman Corporation located in the Fortress of Solitude), and a SuperZoom attachment. More…

Online retailer thinkgeek.com unveiled Squeez Bacon, 100% bacon paste that could be squeezed from a tube. It described it as "the world's most perfect food."
Squeez Bacon® is fully cooked 100% bacon. Due to the patented electro-mechanical process by which Squeez Bacon® is rendered, it requires no preservatives or other additives. Each serving is as healthy as real bacon, and equivalent to 4 premium slices of bacon! More…

Google Australia announced it had partnered with the Australian rules football league to develop the gBall.

This was a rugby ball with "inbuilt GPS and motion sensor systems to monitor the location, force and torque of each kick." Google could then provide users with "detailed online kicking tips, style suggestions and tutorials based on their gBall kicking data." As an added bonus, "Kicking data is also sent to national talent scouts and player agents. The gBall will vibrate if talent scouts or player agents want to make contact with the user." More…

The website HowStuffWorks described a new startup company, ReBubble, that was coming out with rechargeable chewing gum. The gum could be "recharged" by placing it in a special recharging station, the ReCHEWvenation Chamber, that plugged into either a standard power socket or connected to a computer via a USB cable. "After it finishes charging, the gum should have the same taste and texture as it did fresh from the package." The gum would eventually come in five flavors, although the only flavor currently available tasted like "grape with a hint of ozone." However, there were reportedly problems if people ate partially charged-sticks of gum. But the company was trying hard to prevent "catastrophic gum failure." More…

An ad that ran in UK newspapers announced the debut of a new odor-fighting "Miracle Shirt." The shirt contained a "neutralizing agent" that was released from the "unique microfibre technology" as soon as the wearer started to sweat. "Slip it on and Bang! — the BO is gone," the ad promised.

Those who visited the accompanying website, miracleshirt.co.uk, discovered the Miracle Shirt was an April Fool product designed to promote Gillette Anti Perspirant.

Organic grocery store chain Whole Foods Market debuted eco-conscious action figures. Eco Suave, the male figure, asked, "Hey baby, you gonna recycle that?" Patchouli Pam, the female figure, boasted a "6-foot aroma radius!"

The action figures provoked a negative response from novelty-dealer Archie McPhee who accused Whole Foods, via Twitter, of stealing its signature action figures. Whole Foods tweeted back, "No way! Patchouli Pam & Eco Suave are Exclusive Brands originals. If you'd like to speak w/ our lawyers, we can arrange that."

The maker of WD-40 lubricating spray announced it was expanding its product line to include WD-40 aftershave. This would ensure that WD-40-branded products would be "not only in every shed, garage and toolbox, but now in the bedroom."

The aftershave would come in the "famous blue and yellow can," and like the standard multi-purpose product it would have a "smart straw option for those who require a more precise spray." More…

Pelikan Artline placed ads in Australian papers announcing its new "Artline Memory Stick" — a pen that could remember everything you wrote. "The Artline Memory Stick digitally records everything you write or draw on a 2GB built-in flash drive. Forget the worry of losing the shopping list or the scrap of paper with that vital name or number on it. You can download it all later - as you wrote it, or in the typeface of your choice. How's that for back-up?" More…

Pedigree pretended to sell Doggie Dentures, a product previously featured jokingly in its ad for Dentastix dog treats, on a live shopping channel (Ideal World). Anyone who called the onscreen number or went to www.doggiedentures.co.uk was told, 'dogs don't want dentures, they want Pedigree Dentastix'. More…

Ikea Australia introduced the HUNDSTOL Highchair for Dogs, as part of an effort "to accommodate the growing demand for furniture that reflects today's modern family." The chair was designed with the dog's comfort in mind, with a hole in the back of the chair for the tail, and paw grips on the seat for stability. Two inset bowls could be easily removed for washing. More…

As a way to encourage recycling, and to add flavor to its stories, the UK Metro Herald announced plans to issue the newspaper in edible form. It explained:

"The printing process sees ingredients such as corn starch, vegetable oil, gum arabic, water and citric acid cooked into a stodgy paste and thin sheets. The paste is poured on to the sheets under silk meshes arranged in the form of headlines, pictures and articles. Printing takes a few hours overnight – several seconds to print each page and slightly longer to dry. The finished products are even given a light vanilla scent." More…

Google debuted Gmail Motion, designed to allow people to write emails using only gestures, which Gmail would track using your computer webcam and a "spatial tracking algorithm." Command gestures included: open a message by making a motion with your hands as if you're opening an envelope, reply by pointing backward over your shoulder with your thumb, and reply all by pointing backward with both thumbs. More…

Fresh Step announced the introduction of Organic Bacon-scented cat litter: "The power of activated carbon meets the scrumptious scent of freshly cooked bacon." More…

Hipstamatic, maker of an iPhone app that added a vintage feeling to photos, debuted "Hipstamatic Contact Lenses". By wearing them, a person could add a vintage glow to everything they saw. "Pop them in to make every moment extraordinary," the company promised. More…

Online retailer ThinkGeek.com debuted Electronic Hungry Hungry Hippos for iPad. It was just like the classic 1970s version of the game, "except this time, the hippos fit over your iPad and the game board is an app!"

And ThinkGeek assured Hungry Hippo purists that the iPad version was "Fully endorsed by the International Hungry Hungry Hippo Association (IHHHA)." More…

Procter & Gamble announced the introduction of bacon-flavored Scope mouthwash. However, it made the announcement on March 28, and even posted mock-ups of an advertising campaign on its Facebook page, leading many to conclude that the product was real. Also, bacon-flavored mouthwash sounded like an appealing product to some bacon lovers. So when it became clear that the product was an April Fool joke, Procter & Gamble suffered some negative press. More…

Bathstore, a UK seller of bath products, announced a "world first in bathing" — a Vertical Bath. The product was designed to allow homeowners to save space in their homes, while simultaneously being able to enjoy the pleasure of soaking in a bathtub. To use the Vertical Bath, you simply stepped into it, closed the door firmly behind you, and allowed it to fill with water. Bubble baths were not recommended. More…

CrowdSupply.com, an online "store and crowdfunding platform," debuted the Chi Wallet, available in models ranging in price from $29 to $250.

"We introduce to you today the Chi Wallet. Chi is transformative, inspiring, and yet disruptive. Born from natural rubber trees, lovingly caressed, sustainably harvested... It's the last wallet you'll ever buy."

The Chi Wallet looked a great deal like a rubber band. More…

IKEA UK revealed it would be selling a lightweight lawnmower, that would come in a flat-pack for self-assembly at home. It would be called the GRÄSSAX.

IKEA designer, Ingrid Lindengreen, commented: "When we were designing GRÄSSAX we were conscious that people live with little or shrinking garden space. That’s why, GRÄSSAX is designed to be stored easily in a small space, it is easy to assemble, environmentally friendly and affordable!” More…

"Always in focus with SpecSavers, even on the go!" The Netherlands branch of SpecSavers (a chain that sells glasses and eyecare services) announced a new product: prescription windshields. "How great would it be to drive without glasses?" their website asked. Created in collaboration with the Faculty of Product Development at the University of London, the new windshields came in any desired prescription strength.

And for a limited time they were offering an online special. Buy a prescription windshield for €299 and get the rear window free! More…

BMW UK debuted the limited edition "Postnatal Royal Auto Mobile," aka P.R.A.M., inspired by the royal baby due in the summer. The infant carrier featured "air con, reclining seat, ambient interior lighting and paparazzi-proof hood as standard." It was available in either Royal Blue or Princess Pink. More…

The Daily Mail reported that the supermarket chain Asda, hoping to capitalize on the popularity of the erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey, had inked a deal with its author to offer a new range of Fifty Shades of Grey Toilet Paper.

The toilet paper would indeed come in fifty different shades of grey — each shade named after one of the lead character's traits, ranging from 'enigmatic' to 'obsessive'. Kevin Merden, Asda's "director of tissue buying," was quoted as saying, "Much like Grey’s character all rolls are tightly wound and will take time to unravel.

Beard Glitter. Offered for sale by the Texas Beard Company as an April 1 only special.

Looking for the formula to make your beard more fierce and fabulous. Search no further. All new Texas Beard Company Beard Glitter represents the finest product in the entire Beard Glitter industry.  Get yours and get your Glamour on today! More…