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Save Bernd
image The opening statement says it all: "I swear by God, I will have this lovely rabbit for New Year's Eve Dinner if my account doesn't show a balance of at least 1'000'000 € by latest 31st Dec 2004!" Wow. It's cute rabbit blackmail. How low can you stoop? One million Euros is a lot. I'm not quite sure of the current exchange rate, but I think that's about a million dollars. But if somehow the world does band together and raise the ransom, then Bernd will be given to a bunny breeding farm "where he can spend the rest of his life as playboy in a way that we would all be jealous of." Will Bernd really be eaten if the money isn't raised? I'm doubtful (which is why I'm putting the site up here), though I should note that Europeans eat rabbit quite often... so maybe Bernd should be searching for ways to escape. The Free Bernd group (in German) is circulating a petition to demand Bernd's release. And Rabbit Company appears to be some kind of German militant group threatening to rescue Bernd by force. The plight of Bernd reminds me of all the fuss about Grendel a year ago. I've actually eaten rabbit once before in my life when I was in France years ago visiting my Aunt. It tasted okay, but I don't think it's something I'd do again. For some reason it's just really hard to stomach eating cute, fluffy animals.
Categories: Animals, Food
Posted by Alex on Tue Sep 07, 2004
Comments (35)
More from the Hoax Museum Archives:
"I should note that Europeans eat rabbit quite often"

Now, now . . . there's plenty enough of us on this side of the pond that eat the little critters, too. Fried rabbit was a common dish at my family's dinner table, along with squirrel, deer, and other such cute and fluffy animals.
Posted by Jim North  on  Tue Sep 07, 2004  at  06:24 AM
Rabbit is tasty. I hope none of the people who are having fits about eating a rabbit eat other animals or use leather.
Posted by cvirtue  on  Tue Sep 07, 2004  at  11:06 AM
This smells like a Rip Off of an old National Lampoon Magazine Cover story of long ago.

Picture of a dog, with a gun to its head.
"Buy this magazine or we'll kill this dog."
If I remember correctly the look on the dogs face was priceless.
Posted by Craig  in  earth  on  Tue Sep 07, 2004  at  11:10 AM
"Europeans eat rabbits quite often"...now I
Posted by Evey  on  Tue Sep 07, 2004  at  11:59 AM
This is ridiculous. Lots of people eat rabbit, all the time. And to tell you the truth, I'm not at all sure he'd enjoy life on a breeding farm. In general, they're not veey nice places. And as far as raising a million euros goes, well... I hope that guy's hungry.
Posted by PlantPerson  on  Tue Sep 07, 2004  at  12:45 PM
I love rabbit...we were kinda poor when I was a kid so we raised rabbits for meat. My Daddy also went hunting every year...that deer or elk was our meat for the winter.
Mmmmmmm...Bambi & Thumper for dinner!
Posted by Gee....  on  Tue Sep 07, 2004  at  04:57 PM
His site says that he's raised about 32,000 Euros so far. That's about 38,000 dollars. I don't know if I believe the site. I think though that I should be doing this. What a novel way to get money.

1 million Euros is about 1,200,000 dollars.
Posted by Bill B.  on  Tue Sep 07, 2004  at  06:03 PM
actually with the exchange rate it would be a bit more then 1 million dollars. as of today it is about .8259 EUR=1 USD, so roughly 1,210,760.80 USD. the rate is good today, usually it is much lower (around .78-.80) totally pointless but thought i would add
Posted by FloydVixen  on  Tue Sep 07, 2004  at  07:16 PM
Sorry Bernd, but by the looks of you.....you couldn't fill my lunch.

Too many rabbits anyway.......get me a bigger one!
Posted by Paul  on  Wed Sep 08, 2004  at  09:06 PM
I've eaten rabbit once or twice. It tasted OK. I wasn't especially interested in eating another one, but I certainly would if could get paid a million dollars, or even 32,000 Euros. This "food blackmail" strikes me as strange. What if I got a sandwich and then insisted you pay me not to eat it? Why would you?
Since there are many millions of rabbits, even if the guy gets the million bucks to ransom "Bernd," he could very easily just buy another bunny and start all over again. Come to think of it, I could do this too. What's even cuter than rabbits? Kittens? Baby chickens? Gazelles? Baby humans, but I'm not going to touch that one.
So hurry up, everybody, send me money before I eat a lamb, a puppy, and a hummingbird! tongue wink
Posted by Big Gary C  in  Dallas, Texas  on  Wed Sep 08, 2004  at  09:13 PM
Another take-off on National Lampoon's "buy this, or we'll shoot this dog" ad happened about 15 years ago in Austin, Texas. A group of homeless people obtained a cute baby goose (they named it "Homer"-- get it?)and threatened that they would cook and eat Homer the goose unless the city did something to provide affordable housing for people like them. They never ate the goose (some of their demands were actually met), but they did prove their point marvelously well. Many, many Austin residents, though they had not been terribly exercised at the fact that a couple of thousand of their neighbors had no place to get out of the cold and rain, went absolutely berserk at the notion that those same neighbors might butcher and eat a common farm animal. I guess this is a variation of the fact that news organizations invariably report that they get much more response to stories of abused or abandoned animals than to stories about abused children.
Posted by Big Gary C  in  Dallas, Texas  on  Wed Sep 08, 2004  at  09:33 PM
I don't understand people getting upset over someone eating an animal. Since I believe in Creation rather than Evolution...people have always eaten the flesh of animals. I've been to Rabbit farms where bunnies & rabbits are raised for food. It's a lot like a chicken farm, only...less feathers.
Posted by Maegan  in  Tampa, Florida, USA  on  Thu Sep 09, 2004  at  03:25 PM
Give me a million dollars now, or I'll go to the nearest McDonald's and eat a cow.
Posted by PlantPerson  on  Thu Sep 09, 2004  at  07:35 PM
If many people all donate a small amount, it all adds up in the end.
Posted by john  in  NH  on  Thu Sep 09, 2004  at  10:14 PM
>> I don't understand people getting upset over someone eating an animal.

It depends what kind of animal it is, and I see nothing wrong with that. Just like some people don't like to eat cats and dogs while others do. Or humans, for that matter, which are eaten by cannibals.
Posted by Robbert  on  Fri Sep 10, 2004  at  05:20 AM
PlantPerson, if you, with no help from anyone else, can eat a whole cow in one meal (shucks, let's say in one whole day), I'll GIVE you a million dollars.
Posted by Big Gary C  in  Dallas, Texas  on  Fri Sep 10, 2004  at  07:47 PM
>>I don't understand people getting upset over someone eating an animal. Since I believe in Creation rather than Evolution...people have always eaten the flesh of animals.

I don't think people are necessarily upset about people eating rabbits per se. The question is, would you like someone to show you a cute picture of an animal, tell you it's name, and then demand 1 million dollars (euros, francs, whatever) not to eat it? Imagine if someone did this with a cute puppy and you'll understand, I hope.
Posted by Kate  on  Tue Sep 14, 2004  at  05:26 PM
I'm not really a dog person...more of a fish person...But anywho...
Yes, I can see that showing a cute fuzzy bunny & then threatening to kill & eat it would upset people.

I don't understand how someone thinks that sending money will make things better. For instance...a million Euros later this guy might hire a fabulous cook & have rabbit!
Posted by Maegan  in  Tampa, Florida, USA  on  Thu Sep 16, 2004  at  02:27 PM
Rabbit is commonly eaten in the UK - its a form of game meat. I've had it in casserole - its boney, but reasonably tatsy. The rabbit used tends not to be pet varieties - but I'm not aware of any reason it couldn't be.

ThirdSector magazine reports that the UK's RSPCA (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) has been in contact with the bank to see if they can stop payments, and "a spokeswoman for the charity said the site was a 'despicable' attempt to exploit people's good nature, and urged people not to give, in order to prevent copycat ransoms".
Posted by Scott Keir  in  UK  on  Fri Sep 17, 2004  at  08:14 AM
Maegan, I'm a fish person too... That is, I raise tropical fish in aquariums... but I also like to eat (other) fish. So do they: the food I feed my fish is made out of fish, among other things.
I don't eat dogs or cats, but it's all right with me if you do; as long as you don't eat MY pets!


vampire
Posted by Big Gary C  in  Dallas, Texas  on  Mon Sep 20, 2004  at  03:58 PM
ok ok just don't eat a cow just kidding :(
Posted by ??????????????????????????  on  Tue Sep 21, 2004  at  10:43 PM
i tired clicking on the link but it said the account had been suspended. have people raised enough money so that he's been freed, or is it just a simple error?
Posted by john  in  NH  on  Fri Sep 24, 2004  at  06:08 PM
I'm european and I love rabbit meat. I confess I feel the "eating a cute animal" dilemma, but hey, what about lambs or piglets? Aren't they cute too? Or you don't eat them on that side of the Atlantic...?
Posted by corax  on  Mon Oct 04, 2004  at  09:41 AM
Rabbit's pretty good. My girlfriend cooks it up well, with loads of garlic, although I have to help (she makes me cut the head off for some reason). It's not as tasty as horse, though - or, as Alex should be able to testify, as tasty as kangaroo...
Posted by Paul in Prague  in  Czech Republic  on  Mon Oct 04, 2004  at  11:19 AM
Kangaroo was surprisingly very good. Very flavorful. I've also had rabbit, which I remember as being very much like chicken (though isn't everything).
Posted by The Curator  in  San Diego  on  Mon Oct 04, 2004  at  01:49 PM
Like chicken? I guess you had hutch rabbit... wild rabbit is pleasantly gamey, rather more like pheasant or even woodpigeon than chicken. But then, the farmed stuff is never the equal of the wild, is it? (The difference is apparently especially noticable with [Estuarine] crocodile - although you really need I good line on a serious poacher to try the wild stuff...)
Posted by Paul in Prague  in  Czech Republic  on  Tue Oct 05, 2004  at  04:58 AM
whats strange about eating rabbit... everybody eats it in the south
Posted by josh  in  Louisiana  on  Sun Oct 10, 2004  at  11:30 PM
Okay...I don't approve of eating fluffy bunnies. But peopel do anyway...Stopping one dude fromn eating one bunny won't save all the other millions of bunnies. It'll encourage everyone else to use the same scam - BLACKMAIL BUNNEH!

*Ahem*

But...Basically, because you don't liek something doens't mean no one lieks it...POeople eat rabbits..I deal...

But then again...People eta horses....I really DON'T DEAL! (*Uber mega horse lover*) Yeah, uhm...Not ALOT I can do...><

Anyhoo...I cna't see anyone with a soul having that cute little thang and eating it. *Shakes head and hums* Sammmer bammer bo bammer....
Posted by PootPoot  in  State of Insanity  on  Thu Jan 13, 2005  at  11:33 PM
*Scammer....T'is a very nice song, no?
Posted by PootPoot  on  Thu Jan 13, 2005  at  11:34 PM
I can't believe you people think that eating rabbits is ok. Rabbits are pets! I think anyone that does that is sick and needs help. I know of someone that is planning to breed rabbits to eat and I am going to turn her in to the authorities.
Posted by Jen  in  Virginia  on  Tue Jan 18, 2005  at  11:06 AM
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