The Museum of Hoaxes
hoax archive hoax archive hoax archive hoax archive hoax archive
   
Hoaxes Throughout History
Middle AgesEarly Modern1700s1800-1840s1850-1890s
1900s1910s1920s1930s1940s1950s1960s1970s1980s1990s21st Century2014
Spray-On Mud
image If you have an SUV, then you're probably going to want to use it off-road sometime. After all, that's what it's designed for. But if you have no time to get out of the city, then no problem. Just use Sprayonmud to make it look like you've had a wild time driving around the country:

Sprayonmud is a specially formulated spray-on product for anyone that wants to give friends, neighbours, colleagues or just anyone at all, the impression that they have been off-road or, at the very least, out in the country for the weekend...
Sprayonmud comes in an easy-to-use plastic bottle which is just the right size for hiding in a green Wellington boot.  Keep it in your garage, in the boot, or anywhere you like.  Sprayonmud can be applied to your vehicle in seconds, but just be careful the neighbours don’t catch you using it!  And remember, you’ve been visiting friends in the country!


Mud in a bottle. What will they think of next?
Technology
Posted by The Curator on Thu Jun 16, 2005


I remember a few years back, reading some information about auto industry research into the habits of SUV owners. It said that 99% of them NEVER take their "off-road" vehicles off the road.

Fake mud seems to me like it would appeal to Hummer drivers, whose theme song should be "Tomorrow Belongs To Me."
Posted by Cranky Media Guy  on  Thu Jun 16, 2005  at  03:37 AM
also good for foiling redlight/speeding cameras.
Posted by bub ba  on  Thu Jun 16, 2005  at  09:01 AM
There was a news article about this product last weekend. Some people have been using this product to obscure their license plates so that traffic cameras couldn't capture their license plate numbers and send them tickets.
Posted by kay  in  Rhode Island, USA  on  Thu Jun 16, 2005  at  09:54 AM
"What will they think of next?"

How about canned snow for Eskimoes on summer holidays?
Posted by Captain Al  in  Vancouver Island, Canada  on  Thu Jun 16, 2005  at  10:36 AM
I get real mud for free where I work.
Posted by Captain Al  in  Vancouver Island, Canada  on  Thu Jun 16, 2005  at  10:38 AM
Am I the only one who thinks that picture looks photoshopped?
Posted by Wally  in  La La Land  on  Thu Jun 16, 2005  at  12:47 PM
I don't know if it's photoshopped or not, but it doesn't look like 'real' off-road mud. It's much too thin, it looks like you drove through a muddy puddle and got splashed. Real off-road mud has big chuck in it from where mud that was in the lugs of your tire sloughs off and get stuck to your truck's body.
Posted by LumberJack  on  Thu Jun 16, 2005  at  12:57 PM
The pic looks photoshopped to me too. But the idea is great... I've got an ex with a sports car... I wonder if they sell that stuff in bulk. Hmmmm...
Posted by Tru  in  Other Words  on  Thu Jun 16, 2005  at  03:18 PM
That stuff looks kind of fake...isnt mud usually more textured, and not all flat?
Posted by RAMONESxMANIA  on  Thu Jun 16, 2005  at  04:50 PM
I notice they make sure to mention many times that it can obscure license plate (of course it should never be used for that) but if you are caught you will receive no endorsement on your license. So I'm guessing the real purpose of this stuff is to do what they tell you not to do. Kind of like those hippy shops that sell pipes that are for "tobacco use only."
Posted by sombrero11  in  Cleveland, OH  on  Thu Jun 16, 2005  at  05:12 PM
yes, it's photoshopped... badly

All he did was make a brown color, painted it in splotches, reduced the opacity a little on the paint and erased out the parts where the tail lights are... very "professional"

I'd venture to say that no, this isn't photoshopped... it's "MS Painted"
Posted by Tony Pax  on  Thu Jun 16, 2005  at  06:30 PM
Photoshopped picture, and the photo of the bottle is nothing more than a bottle of toilet bowl clear with a computer printed plain paper label slapped on. 10 to 1 this product doesn't exist despite all of the news about it...
Posted by Wally  in  La La Land  on  Thu Jun 16, 2005  at  10:24 PM
The real purpose behind spray on mud is to obscure license plates...
Posted by David  in  Missouri  on  Thu Jun 16, 2005  at  10:55 PM
It's a kind of funny, if obvious, takeoff on the fact (cited above by CMG) that the vast majority of people buying these vehicles designed for ranch work and jungle exploration NEVER take their SOBs off the road.
Imagine somebody buying mud, though. I mean, where could you possibly live where you couldn't easily get mud for free? Even in Manhattan it's very easy to find.
Posted by Big Gary  in  Dallas, Texas  on  Thu Jun 16, 2005  at  11:23 PM
As for Hummers, it's obvious that people only buy them because (1) 10 miles per gallon is just too good for them, or (2) It's too much trouble to always carry around a sign that says, "I'm an obnoxious *sshole."
Posted by Big Gary  in  Dallas, Texas  on  Thu Jun 16, 2005  at  11:26 PM
Big Gary said:

"Imagine somebody buying mud, though. I mean, where could you possibly live where you couldn't easily get mud for free? Even in Manhattan it's very easy to find."

Sure is. Hey, Manhattan even used to have The Mudd Club, way back when. Two blocks south of Canal St. if I remember correctly.
Posted by Cranky Media Guy  on  Fri Jun 17, 2005  at  04:11 AM
Big Gary also said:

"As for Hummers, it's obvious that people only buy them because (1) 10 miles per gallon is just too good for them, or (2) It's too much trouble to always carry around a sign that says, "I'm an obnoxious *sshole."

At least up to a couple of years ago, SUV's in general were marketed in a way that suggested to me that the industry had determined that the potential buyers felt the need to be protected from the world around them and also thought of themselves as being "superior" in some way to those around them.

Remember the commercial in which the female SUV driver is in a mall parking lot and she spots an empty space in the next aisle? There's another woman driver in the same aisle as the spot. Driver Number One drives over a traffic island to beat her to the space. She has a very smug look on her face when she "wins."

Or how about the Hummer spot in which the kid in a soap box derby race has a "car" that looks like a miniature Hummer. He cheats by driving across the zig-zagging track and "wins."

The music for that spot was The Who's "Happy Jack" using the part "...and they couldn't prevent Jack from being happy." I think that's the attitude of the person Hummer is aiming at: the world is out to prevent him/her from attaining the happiness he/she is intended by God to have. Sad.
Posted by Cranky Media Guy  on  Fri Jun 17, 2005  at  04:18 AM
Obviously we can learn a lot about a person by what they drive. What do you drive cranky?
Posted by sfdjdlfg  on  Fri Jun 17, 2005  at  08:35 AM
Cranky,

You missed the point of the Jack commercial. At one point the rules are flashed on the screen. They are "The last one to the bottom wins". Jack took a creative approach and won, because is car could do things the others could't. He went don't the same hill as the others, just did it off road. Despite being laughed at for this car's appearance (i.e. can't keep jack from being happy), Jack knew his car had other potential. The commercial encourages people to think differently about their cars...
Posted by Wally  in  La La Land  on  Fri Jun 17, 2005  at  09:50 AM
Even if this were a real product, I expect the average person wouldn't be able to apply it to a car (even a Prius) in a manner that actually looked like natural mud splashes. And let's not even address the issue that mud varies in color according to what's in it and the local minerals.
Posted by cvirtue  on  Fri Jun 17, 2005  at  10:06 AM
sfdjdlfg said:

"Obviously we can learn a lot about a person by what they drive. What do you drive cranky?"

Well, the Mrs. and I tool around in an '01 Ford Explorer. We got it because we had to drive to Virginia from Idaho to retrieve some stuff from a storage locker we had there and we were going to have to pull a small trailer back.

While I've been on the beach here in Oregon with it, we've never gone officially "off-road" with the Ford.

I did say that the TV and print ads for SUV's were pitched to those who felt superior up to a few years back. I think they've changed their advertising tactics recently because the makeup of SUV purchasers has changed. In the late 90's and early 2000's, it seemed to me that they were pitched at people who felt that the world was out to get them and wanted "protection" from hostile forces.
Posted by crankymediaguy  on  Fri Jun 17, 2005  at  08:22 PM
The vast majority of people who drive SUVs here in Edinburgh are mainly using them to drive their precious little flowers to school. After all, a mile of walking might damage them.

Between my work and my home is a twisty cobbled road with very poor pavements (that'd be sidewalks for all you from the US).

Approximately once a week, I am nearly mown down on this road. Not because I'm not using the green cross code, but because people think they can speed around wherever the hell they like.
I would say that 2/3 of these times it has been SUVs.

I never really thought much about it until I started working where I work.
Posted by Boo  in  The Land of the Haggii...  on  Fri Jun 17, 2005  at  08:30 PM
I think that SUV drivers tend to feel more invincible while driving, and take more risks. I have seen a lot of drivers speed into an intersection on a VERY yellow light to make a fast turn, while cutting off traffic. People in my area do tend to use SUVs more for towing boats, RVs, mowers/tractors, & jet skis. So while they're not going offroading, they still need the power for a specific use.
Posted by Maegan  in  Tampa, FL - USA  on  Sun Jun 19, 2005  at  09:19 AM
Every time I see someone driving an SUV, they are engaging in a behavior which reinforces my negative opinion of them, and which I then apply to all people who drive SUVs.
Posted by cvirtue  on  Mon Jun 20, 2005  at  02:21 PM
The thing I hear most often here in Colorado is that people buy them to be safer in the snow. "It's a 4 wheel drive, so it better in the snow." While it may be true that it's easier to get traction in the snow, it seems they also feel that 4 wheel drive also means 4 wheel STOP too. On the somewhat rare occasions that we have snow on the highways, I usually see SUVs flying by my little Integra on the highway. That's what scares me the most.
Posted by Silentz  in  general  on  Mon Jun 20, 2005  at  05:49 PM
Real or not...

This couldn't be any more stupid!!!

rolleyes
Posted by Mark-N-Isa  in  Midwest USA  on  Tue Jun 21, 2005  at  12:41 AM
I would like to say that I've met a couple hummer owners that I didn't instantly hate.

They actually took thier vehicles offroad. Don't have everyone in a hummer, just those that diserve it.
Posted by Bearfoot  in  USA  on  Tue Jun 21, 2005  at  01:16 AM
Ladies and Germs, if you cover my expenses, I'll be glad to come and cover your SUV in mud. Just to add to the illusion that you've been Off Road, I'll throw in some deer fur chunks on the bumper, barbed wire fence portions on the antenna, and large chunks of tree bark stuffed up the wheelwells...hey, I aim to please...stand still, Bambi- Hummer's a 'comin
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Tue Jun 21, 2005  at  07:27 PM
Now that is tempting, just to meet the legendary Hairy Houdini. wink
Posted by Winona  in  USA  on  Wed Jun 22, 2005  at  04:32 PM
I might just get some of this gunk. Not for my SUV, I don't own a vehicle, but for those idiots in cars (often with Kerry bumper stickers) that ignore the laws and nearly kill me while I am using the crosswalks or otherwise minding my own business in town. Spray it on their windshields. Paint is too hard to remove and would be a safety hazzard to other pedistrians. Although I doubt (in jest) that the drivers would notice.

And for those who have been commenting on the driving habits of SUV owners, might I point out a small bit of information about human memory? Humans tend to remember that which reinforces their previous attitudes or experiences. If you think SUV drivers are a bunch of obnoxious jerks, then incident that reinforce that attitude will be remembered more often than those that run counter to that. This might be genetic stemming from our days as hunter/gatherers. Such positive reinforcement probably got more game or fruit or whatever.
Posted by Christopher Cole  in  Tucson, AZ  on  Sat Jun 25, 2005  at  02:39 PM
Comments: Page 1 of 2 pages  1 2 > 
Commenting is no longer available in this channel entry.
All text Copyright © 2014 by Alex Boese, except where otherwise indicated. All rights reserved.