Professional Staredown Contests

Status: Fictional
image Unflinching Triumph, a recently released movie, explores the little-known subculture of Professional Staredown contests (aka Staring Contests). You can view the movie in its entirety online (free and legal!), or view the trailer at YouTube.

If you believe the movie, there really is such a thing as professional staredown contests. This illusion is strengthened by the website of the National Association of Staredown Professionals (NASP) and the website of Staredown Champion Tony Patterson. However, I'm pretty sure that the movie is a mockumentary, and that the NASP and Tony Patterson sites are part of the joke.

But I started wondering if perhaps the movie was based on a germ of truth. Is there some kind of subculture of staring enthusiasts? After all if cup stacking or chess boxing can be sports, why not staring? So I checked on Lexis Nexis to see if there was any mention of Staring as a professional sport in any paper for the past five years. But there doesn't seem to be. Wikipedia doesn't make note of any such thing either, though it does mention that some people like to challenge their pets to staring contests.

Entertainment Sports Websites

Posted on Sun Jul 16, 2006


That website is pretty well done. The Rules PDF is particularly nice. Funny stuff.
Posted by Cranky Media Guy  on  Mon Jul 17, 2006  at  01:25 AM
For who know the Terry Pratchett books, staring is one of the essentials witch skills. In "Lord and Ladies" there's also mention of a staring contest, and an actual stare contest with the sun....
Posted by fizz  on  Mon Jul 17, 2006  at  03:00 AM
A 1990s British comedy sketch show called Big Train had a handful of animated sketches from the World Staring Championship, with commentary provided by Barry Davies, then one of TV's top football commentators. Might have been the inspiration for this.
Posted by Charlie  on  Mon Jul 17, 2006  at  03:18 AM
Considering that none of the news events from any of the related sites go back any farther than the beginning of the year, this is definitely a fake sport. Considering that the myspace site for the supposed champion has been up a while and still has no friends listed, it doesn't seem to have worked out too well.

Being featured on this site my change all that, however.
Posted by catwhowalksbyhimself  on  Mon Jul 17, 2006  at  03:58 AM
I remember the Big Train sketch. What was really silly was it was just a single,unmoving frame of animation(except when they needed some slight movement for the joke) and they were basically commentating on, well, nothing. Nothing was happening at all.
I think that was the parody on some other sports where nothing seems to be happening yet commentators dont stop talking.
Posted by AussieBruce  on  Mon Jul 17, 2006  at  06:54 AM
You can participate in a virtual staring contest here!
Posted by Sakano  in  Ohio  on  Mon Jul 17, 2006  at  01:48 PM
"... and an actual stare contest with the sun...."

I'll give odds the sun's going to win that one.
Posted by Big Gary  on  Tue Jul 18, 2006  at  08:35 AM
the NASP logo confuses me. What does some lamp or wedding fountain have to do with a staredown? I must be missing something
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Wed Jul 19, 2006  at  11:28 AM
Isn't it obvious, Hairy?

The image of the firehose nozzle symbolizes the fact that during these staring contests, people get so excited the referees have to hose them down.
Posted by Big Gary  on  Wed Jul 19, 2006  at  10:59 PM
=) =( =P =D
Posted by elizabeth  on  Wed Aug 02, 2006  at  11:39 AM
You guys must be thik or sometin, can u not see that the logo is really two people staring at each other(they are in black, the white is the gap left in the middle!) duh!! lol
Posted by flyingkakaroth  on  Tue Apr 22, 2008  at  04:44 AM
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