The Museum of Hoaxes
hoax archive hoax archive hoax archive hoax archive hoax archive
   
Mystery of the Manure From the Sky
Status: Undetermined
A few months ago Timothy Rohn, of Richard Township, Michigan, went outside to discover his car covered in bird poop. Or maybe it was human poop. Or maybe something else entirely. Whatever it was, there was a lot of it. But he didn't worry too much about it. He just let the rain wash it off. But two months later, the same thing has happened again. Something up there really likes pooping on his car. The Saginaw News reports that:

Rohn said the substance definitely is excrement and, from what he could see Tuesday night, it may have contained toilet paper that had broken down in chemicals. He said he did not notice a blue or other chemical tint to the substance.

Rohn's only theory is that airplanes are discharging waste over his house, despite the lack of a chemical tint to the waste. It also seems weird that this only seems to be happening to him, not his neighbors. The police have no explanation. Here's the comment of the officer who investigated the mystery:

"It's manure, and it came from the sky. If it came from some kind of fowl, it had to be one heck of a large flock. To me, it looks like bird droppings but, man, it had to be an awful large flock of birds. It's all over."
Gross
Posted by The Curator on Thu Feb 09, 2006
It sounds like somebody is playing a mean prank on him.

And human excrement looks very different from all the bird excrement that I've ever seen.
Posted by Charybdis  in  Hell  on  Thu Feb 09, 2006  at  12:26 PM
Mystery solved. someone is thowing crap on his car. how could someone be so stupid to think that it just fell out of the sky? it was funny though. lol
Posted by Phil  in  Pennsylvania  on  Thu Feb 09, 2006  at  12:36 PM
It was a sasquach!
Posted by Truman  on  Thu Feb 09, 2006  at  01:12 PM
Does he live by a retirement home?
Posted by Pro  on  Thu Feb 09, 2006  at  01:12 PM
Does anyone else think it's strange that he didn't take pictures of it after rhe second time he found his car like that?
Posted by Dany  in  Waco, Texas  on  Thu Feb 09, 2006  at  01:29 PM
...A vet or other animal expert should be able to identify if it's animal poo, and what TYPE of animal it is, specifically.

He's either doing it himself, or someone else is pranking him.

Also, if his car was "covered" in poo, how did the rain just wash it away? It would take constant driving rains to wash off an ENTIRE CAR. PLus, wouldn't it just drip down into the engine area?? What about all the crevices and things??
Posted by Maegan  in  Tampa, FL - USA  on  Thu Feb 09, 2006  at  02:29 PM
Oh no! It was a flock of moth-men! Ahhhh!
Posted by Jackie  on  Thu Feb 09, 2006  at  05:06 PM
Perhaps he hasn't noticed the flock of pigeons roosting in the large tree he parks under.
Posted by Evan  in  Atlanta, GA  on  Thu Feb 09, 2006  at  07:58 PM
Wow, that guy lives not 30 minutes from here. I have no idea how someone could mistake bird crap for any other sort of crap really, it's very distinctive. He must have made someone mad and is not subsequently being pranked for it.
Posted by Zoe  on  Fri Feb 10, 2006  at  03:50 AM
Does he have an ex-wife?
Posted by Lonewatchman  on  Fri Feb 10, 2006  at  11:13 AM
I think he lives by a retirement home.

OR

He just has bad aim at night.
Posted by Pro  on  Fri Feb 10, 2006  at  02:16 PM
Well, when one bird poops on my car, it doesn't matter if it rains, as it seems to stay on for a month anyway... of course, it doesn't rain here much, but it's still a pain to get any of that 'crap' and I do mean literally, off.
Posted by Mera  on  Sun Feb 12, 2006  at  03:45 AM
Commenting is no longer available in this channel entry.
All text Copyright © 2014 by Alex Boese, except where otherwise indicated. All rights reserved.