Jesus Pets

Status: Hoax
image Jesus Pets points out a serious problem that born-again Christians must face if they own a pet: Many Christians believe that animals do not go to heaven. So when Jesus comes back and you return with him to heaven, will there be somebody to take care of your dog or cat?

Happily, they offer a solution: We are assembling a community of heathen pet-lovers to care for pets that are “left-behind.” We are coordinating with feed mills and kennels in preparation for your post-apocalyptic pet care needs.

Clearly this is tongue-in-cheek, though it's a clever idea. (I'd happily agree to look after someone's animal for a fee in case of rapture, since I anticipate being left behind.)

If you poke around the JesusPets site a bit more (follow the Jesus Links link), you'll find hundreds of pages full of links to religious sites. Each of these link pages runs google ads. So what I think is going on is that someone created the JesusPets page as a ploy to get lots of people (like me) to link to it, thereby increasing its pagerank. This, in turn, will increase the pagerank of all those link pages running the ads and, in theory, generate plenty of ad revenue. Whoever dreamed up this scheme is definitely going to be around post-rapture. (via J-Walk)

Animals Religion Websites

Posted on Wed Feb 08, 2006

More content from the Hoax Museum:


Posted by X  in  McKinney, TX  on  Wed Feb 08, 2006  at  12:26 PM
So people are worried they'll get to heaven and leave behind their dogs and cats?
What makes them so sure it won't be the other way around?

As the old song goes, "Everybody talking about heaven ain't going there."
Posted by Big Gary, late for feeding time  in  Dallas, Texas, USA  on  Wed Feb 08, 2006  at  04:21 PM
" Whoever dreamed up this scheme is definitely going to be around post-rapture."

Why? Christians can make money, too.
Posted by Maegan  in  Tampa, FL - USA  on  Wed Feb 08, 2006  at  06:09 PM
Jesus Pets doesn't have a clue.

When Jesus returns for the saints, He meets them in the air, not on the earth. When He comes back to the earth (His second coming), He returns WITH the saints for the thousand year rule.

I tell y'all, if you knew what the post-rapture, left behind crew had to look forward to, y'all would change your hearts and attitudes. It will be a time, the likes of which nobody has ever seen, nor will they ever see again. The worst 3.5 years in the history of the world. The Bible refers to this 3.5 years as a period of trials and tribulations.

This ain't gonna be a period of time when ANYBODY (in heaven or on earth) is gonna be worried about whether the dog or cat is OK.

Pick up a Bible today and get aquainted with the real Jesus, after all, He is GOD!!!
Posted by Christopher in Joplin, Missouri  in  Joplin, Mo  on  Wed Feb 08, 2006  at  08:30 PM
Did you get the sense that whoever created Jesus Pets was a born-again christian, Maegan? I got the exact opposite sense.
Posted by The Curator  in  San Diego  on  Thu Feb 09, 2006  at  12:06 AM
I, for one, am looking forward to the post-Rapture period. Just think what a Heaven on Earth this will be when all the moralizing assholes have left the scene. Plus, no more fish-eating-Darwin stickers on the backs of cars!
Posted by Cranky Media Guy  on  Thu Feb 09, 2006  at  02:13 AM
"Pick up a Bible today and get aquainted with the real Jesus, after all, He is GOD!!!
Posted by Christopher "

I might give you the same advice, as far I remember he wasn't god but son of. tongue rolleye

I'll take the job, are there any retainer before the rapture? After all, we can't just come and get the pet at the day if we don't know it before. I would think that travel expenses at least twice a year, to be acquainted would be the least we could ask for. tongue wink
Posted by Mikkel  in  Copenhagen  on  Thu Feb 09, 2006  at  02:45 AM
Personally I see nothing wrong in milking these saps for whatever they've got. Why should they care? It's not as though they think they're taking it with them.
Posted by David B.  on  Thu Feb 09, 2006  at  07:21 AM
I can't really tell from the site if it's a Christian (all of them are born-again, so I'm not going to keep typing that part) with a slightly morbid sense of humor, or a non-Christian trying to make fun of a Biblical idea.

I know lots of Christians with slightly "off" senses of humor, I also know wildly successful Christians with lots of money...Soooo...I don't see why a Christian couldn't have come up with this idea...either as a spoof or as a real thing.
Posted by Maegan  in  Tampa, FL - USA  on  Thu Feb 09, 2006  at  12:39 PM
Mikkel, the Bible is very clear, ON NUMEROUS OCCASIONS THROUGHOUT, Jesus is GOD... The gospel of John, Acts, Romans, and Revelation. Jesus himself, on numerous occasions made it very clear he IS God, both in actions, and in words. Yes, Jesus did claim he was God on countless occasions, and his name (Immanuel or Emmanuel) means "God with us"... grin
Posted by Christopher in Joplin, Missouri  in  Joplin, Mo  on  Fri Feb 10, 2006  at  05:41 AM
Both. Jesus is God and son of God. Amazing how few comments it always takes to get completely off topic! tongue laugh Thats why I love this messageboard
Posted by chyca  on  Fri Feb 10, 2006  at  06:46 PM
pathetic....*shaking head in disgust*
Posted by Name Here  on  Fri Feb 10, 2006  at  08:33 PM
When I posted my original comment, it was merely to make the point that anybody who knew Jesus and what the rapture was all about (removing the church/Body BEFORE all hell breaks loose, literally), could have very easily seen through Jesus Pets and never even been close to getting scammed. I have four cats and a dog, and if the rapture happens before they're gone, they're on their own.
Posted by Christopher in Joplin, Missouri  in  Joplin, Mo  on  Sat Feb 11, 2006  at  06:15 AM
Posted by krysten  in  libertytownship  on  Fri Feb 17, 2006  at  01:32 PM
Cranky Media Guy says:
"...Plus, no more fish-eating-Darwin stickers on the backs of cars!"

Cranky, do you think the cars are flying straight up to heaven along with their owners? Or just the fish stickers on the backs of the cars? Either way, I hadn't heard of that before.

... Or is that every car with a fish sticker will crash, being driverless? In that case, see my first comment above.
Posted by Big Gary, late for feeding time  in  Dallas, Texas, USA  on  Mon Feb 27, 2006  at  05:17 PM
Of course there are animals in heaven...afterall, Jesus will return on a white horse...
Posted by charles  in  nj  on  Thu Mar 09, 2006  at  07:27 PM
Christopher in Joplin,Mo. said;"I have four cats and a dog, and if the rapture happens before they're gone, they're on their own."

Very Christ-like comment there Chris...
Posted by catshere  in  USA  on  Sun Mar 12, 2006  at  03:24 PM
Christians are soooooooooooo dumb. They will believe anything.

It's your tribulation and hell... YOU burn in it. Bloody fear mongerers.
Posted by moth  in  Australia  on  Fri Mar 31, 2006  at  09:34 PM
is this for real......hmmmmm....this is the proof of how humans can be idiots.don't know if I should laugh or cry......
Posted by Iva  in  canada  on  Mon May 08, 2006  at  12:29 PM
it's not my tribulation and hell not planning on being here
remember just because you dont believe in something does not mean it does not exist at one point science did not believe in gravity
also remember the fool hath said in his heart there is no God
Posted by jerry  in  ohio  on  Wed Dec 27, 2006  at  10:27 AM
Christinas also used to (some still do) beleive the earth was flat and that earth is the center of the universe
Posted by curt  in  NM  on  Tue Jan 09, 2007  at  03:37 PM
Commenting is no longer available in this channel entry.