Actual Headlines From 2004

I received an email containing this list of THE YEAR'S BEST [ACTUAL] HEADLINES OF 2004! But, of course, these aren't really headlines from 2004. This list has been going around for at least four years. Check out this competition from 2000 in which people created images to match some of these headlines. Plus, I doubt any of these were ever actual headlines either.
  • Crack Found on Governor's Daughter.
  • Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says.
  • Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers.
  • Iraqi Head Seeks Arms!
  • Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
  • Prostitutes Appeal to Pope.
  • Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over.
  • Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
  • War Dims Hope for Peace.
  • If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile.
  • Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.
  • Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge.
  • New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.
  • Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft.
  • Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half.
  • Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors.
  • Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead.
  • Police Chief says "when we find prostitutes on our streets, we stay on top of them".

Email Hoaxes Journalism

Posted on Wed Jan 05, 2005


Lack of grammar & syntax make strange bedfellows.

Maybe they're embellisments.
Posted by Maegan  in  Tampa, FL - USA  on  Wed Jan 05, 2005  at  11:49 AM
I don't think I believe any of these really appeared as headlines in regular newpapers.
I like the picture contest entries, though.
Posted by Big Gary C  in  Dallas, Texas  on  Wed Jan 05, 2005  at  12:21 PM
What about this classic one about Rosie O'Donnell "Rosie weds longtime girlfriend, slams Bush".
Posted by brian  on  Wed Jan 05, 2005  at  07:59 PM
Some of these appeared in two collections by the Columbia Journalism Review (citing the publications), and would therefore seem to be genuine. The collections are entitled "Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim" and "Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge" (singular).
Posted by Constantine Coutroulos  in  New York, New York  on  Thu Jan 06, 2005  at  12:20 AM
"Crack found on governor's daughter" probably ran in 2002 when Jeb Bush's daughter Noelle was found in posession of a crack rock while in rehab.
Posted by Amy  in  Georgia  on  Thu Jan 06, 2005  at  07:44 PM
At work,for the longest time I had posted on the bulletin board an article from the local paper, the headline of which read "Viagra responsible for 69 deaths". I wish I was kidding.
Posted by Liz  on  Thu Jan 06, 2005  at  11:33 PM
some of these are real. there was a book in
the '70's with lots of these silly headlines.

for instance, "War Dims Hope for Peace."
was definitely in it.

another one i remember was "Drunk gets
9 months in violin case."
Posted by p  on  Fri Jan 07, 2005  at  09:48 AM
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