Hoax Museum Blog: Gross

Dog Thong Flatulence Filter — I realize that flatulence filters are real products (though I have had a lot of people tell me they thought they were a hoax). But I suspect that the Dog Thong Flatulence Filter has to be a joke. I mean, how well could it possibly work? It just doesn't seem large enough to fully contain and filter all the gas a dog can produce. And imagine having to strap it back on Fido every time he comes in from the yard.

Eye Squirting — About a week ago Turkish construction worker Ilker Yilmaz set the world record for squirting milk out of his eye, projecting it a full 9.2 feet. The sport of eye squirting is definitely a new one to me. If someone had told me about this I would have sworn they were joking, but the story has appeared in numerous papers and there's even pictures of Yilmaz with the milk coming out of his eye. So looks like it's real. Of course, only a very few people who are born with the appropriately anomalous tear glands can participate in the sport. However, sponsors are already lining up behind it. Yilmaz, for instance, was sponsored by Kay Sut, a Turkish milk company (seeing milk spray out of some guy's eye really makes me thirsty for a glass of the stuff). Maybe someday in the future eye squirting will become an Olympic event.

Gross Prank — The Anchorage Press reports on a prank whose grossness lies not in what is said, but rather in what isn't. Read it for yourself:

Troopers were called to Showboat II, a club also known as “Showgirls,” where “a female employee had spiked another female employee's drink with a laxative” according to troopers. No further details were given, and the investigation continues.
Thinking about this too much might just give me nightmares tonight.

Just Say No to the Whizzinator — The Whizzinator is a prosthetic penis attached to a plastic bag that you tie around your waist. Put heated urine in the bag (dehydrated urine provided), and you're all set to cheat on a drug test. Rather ingenious. But now Illinois officials are cracking down on this product. The Illinois Senate voted 56-0 to outlaw it. Meanwhile the far more morally offensive Brief Safes are still legal. What kind of upside-down world do we live in?

Brief Safes, Faux Skid Marks — I'm filing this one in the Gross category. Shomer-Tec offers the 'brief safe.' It's a money pouch disguised as a pair of soiled underwear, complete with fake skid marks. Their ad copy states, "Leave the 'Brief Safe' in plain view in your laundry basket or washing machine at home, or in your suitcase in a hotel room - even the most hardened burgler or most curious snoop will 'skid' to a screeching halt as soon as they see them. (Wouldn't you?)" I guess the idea does make sense, but what if guests happen upon this thing? Great way to make a first impression. The ad copy also makes a point to note that the briefs come in one color: white (and brown). (via NewYorkish)

Eat Babies — Discover all kinds of recipes for cooking and eating babies at eatbabies.com. For instance, you might want to try baby soup or baby stir fry. The site is plastered with warnings announcing that it's all just a joke (I guess they must have got complaints), but I suppose it'll still attract criticism from people who think it might provide sick and twisted individuals with bad ideas. Personally, I think the site would have been funnier if it had provided recipes for eating the babies of poor people, thus playing off of Jonathan Swift's classic work, A Modest Proposal. (Thanks to Antonia for the link).

Flatulent Technologies — Flatulent Technologies is a company that is committed to "extracting energy from everything that stinks or rots." Sounds like a great idea. The company's NYSE ticker symbol is even better: FART. Too bad a little disclaimer at the bottom of the company's webpage admits it's a parody.

Fecal Tongs — Okay, this is gross, but what else would you expect from a web hoax? It's some guy's collection of fecal tongs. Personally, I've never heard of such a thing as a fecal tong before. They look like just regular tongs to me. In fact, I would say that this site is actually just a collection of pictures of tongs, (so it's quite safe for work, unless your boss would object to the word 'fecal') which this guy has managed to spin a wild story around.

Eggs As Caviar — Chrissy Caviar: A woman sells her eggs as caviar

Bonsai Kittens — For some reason I've been getting a lot of email lately about Bonsai Kittens. I can't figure out why, since that hoax is almost three years old now. But I guess interest in some hoaxes just never dies (unlike those poor kittens in the jars).

The Mystery of Splat Solved — Finally an answer to the riddle of 'what is Splat' that sounds like it's probably correct. According to John Lundberg of circlemakers.org, Splat was a sculpture created by the British artist John Isaacs in the mid 1990s.

Is it a dog, or is it dinner? — Hoax Website: petsorfood.com.