Hoax Museum Blog: Extraterrestrial Life

Earth Dog Tags — This is a cute idea: earth dog tags. "In case of alien abduction these dog tags may save your life. The crucial data an alien will need to get you back to Earth is die stamped into these dog tags." Plus, they come with a money back guarantee: "should you ever be abducted by aliens while wearing Location Earth Dog Tags and not returned safely to Earth you will be entitled to a full refund of the purchase price." But I think they should also sell non-Earth dog tags. You could give them to friends as a prank. Imagine the look on their faces when they get returned to Mars or Jupiter! (thanks to Stewart for the link)

Authentic Alien Mummy Corpse — A guy on eBay is selling what he speculates to be an authentic alien mummy corpse. He claims that he found it lying on the ground near his home in Tampa a few days after hearing loud booms (which he assumed to be a UFO crashing). He writes: "I hestitated about taking it home with me ...could it be radio active? could it have deadly alien pathogens?  After putting on rubber gloves I felt safer, so I took it home with me. There seems to be no animal or insect damage."

The thing that potential buyers on eBay seem more worried about is not if it contains deadly alien pathogens, but whether it's a human corpse. I don't think so. It looks like a feejee mermaid to me, and these are usually made out of monkey corpses. For instance, it seems quite similar to this handsome fellow whose picture was doing the rounds a while ago. There's no way he found this just lying on the ground somewhere. (thanks to Beasjt for the link)

Doll Mistaken For Alien — More news from Ananova, though there's nothing inherently unbelievable in this story:

A burnt rubber doll was mistaken for a badly injured alien and taken to a hospital in Brazil. It happened after people in Aracruz found a burnt 'body' on the ground after seeing a fireball fall from the sky.
A police spokesman told Terra Noticias Populares: "Many people were terrified thinking that an alien invasion was taking place. "They thought the doll was a burnt ET and more than 50 people called the station."
The 'alien' was taken to the local hospital where doctors soon confirmed it was a burnt rubber doll. A hospital spokesman said: "It was obviously a practical joke but we wonder who would do that in such a small and quiet town."

This reminds me of the story of the Great Monkey Hoax.

Talk To Aliens — TalkToAliens.com is a company that will beam any message you want into outer space, so that you can 'talk to the aliens.' The way it works is that you call their 1-900 number (it'll cost you $3.99 a minute). The phone line is hooked up directly to a parabolic antenna that beams your voice into space, live, as you talk. This sounds similar to Endless Echoes which also beams recorded messages into space (they advertise it as a way to contact the dearly departed). What I find interesting is TalkToAliens' response to the question: What proof do we have that you are indeed transmitting?

We are working to provide live "proof" -- such as a live Web cam with views of our transmitter and our parabolic dish antenna. But we've just launched the service, which is financed with our own private funds. Now that the transmitter is up and running, our attention will focus on some of the more interactive opportunities, like the Web cam.

Why would a webcam image of an antenna prove anything? In fact, I can't think of any good way they could prove that they're really doing what they claim to be doing. But then again, does it really matter. It's just a gimmick anyway. New Scientist has more info about the company. (via Home Town Tales)

Why We Must Ban Fake UFOs — The UFO community in Hong Kong is up in arms about a newspaper flyer that featured a picture of a UFO. The flyer looked like some kind of news feature about a new UFO sighting, but it was actually an advertising insert for a cable TV company. What the UFO community is upset about is that people might have seen the flyer, thought it was a real news story, and then would have been disappointed to learn it was just a fake picture for an ad. A UFO researcher warns that the indiscriminate use of UFO imagery in this way might have dire consequences for public belief in UFOs: "What if there's something real happening in the future? People would still think it was fake... People won't believe in the existence of UFOs any more even if there were a real case in the future." I love that line of reasoning.

The Great Internet UFO Hoax — Ssshhh! What I am about to tell you is a secret. Do not tell anyone. On Saturday, March 19, many people on the internet will hoax the world with the biggest mass UFO sighting in years. The craft will zoom around the United States and the world. What will they see? A craft with 4 lights, 2 of which blinked several colors. They will then report their sighting as happening at APPROXIMATELY (not exactly) the appropriate time, and that's it.... Report the sighting to the National UFO Reporting center by calling 206-722-3000. Do not post this information online. Only share it with 'real life' friends.

No Life on Mars? — This is the exciting news about life on Mars that the media reported on Feb. 16:

A pair of NASA scientists told a group of space officials at a private meeting here that they have found strong evidence that life may exist today on Mars, hidden away in caves and sustained by pockets of water. The scientists, Carol Stoker and Larry Lemke of NASA’s Ames Research Center in Silicon Valley, told the group that they have submitted their findings to the journal Nature for publication in May, and their paper currently is being peer reviewed.

This is how NASA responsed to the news two days later:

NASA Statement on False Claim of Evidence of Life on Mars
News reports on February 16, 2005, that NASA scientists from Ames Research Center, Moffett Field, Calif., have found strong evidence that life may exist on Mars are incorrect. NASA does not have any observational data from any current Mars missions that supports this claim. The work by the scientists mentioned in the reports cannot be used to directly infer anything about life on Mars, but may help formulate the strategy for how to search for martian life. Their research concerns extreme environments on Earth as analogs of possible environments on Mars. No research paper has been submitted by them to any scientific journal asserting martian life.

Pity. Though, of course, it's probably all just a cover-up. 😉

UFO Detectors — Check out these ghost and UFO detectors available from Abate Electronics. They appear not to be a joke. In other words, Abate really will sell you these things. The best part is the warranty: ALL DETECTORS ARE  WARRANTED TO OPERATE AS  DEFINED FOR A PERIOD OF ONE YEAR FROM THE DATE OF PURCHASE. ANY DEVICE WHICH FAILS TO OPERATE FOR THIS PERIOD OF TIME WILL BE REPLACED FREE OF CHARGE, INCLUDING SHIPPING. Okay, so what if your detector fails to detect a UFO as you see one flying overhead? Will they take your word for it that the device malfunctioned? Or are they going to demand proof that you really did see a UFO? (via Milk and Cookies)

UFO Coin — A mysterious coin, dating from 1680, has experts puzzled. The coin in question appears to show a UFO. Or, if not a UFO, then a 'symbolic representation of the Biblical Ezekiel's wheel". One or the other "but little else" (according to Kenneth Bressett, former president of the American Numismatic Association). It really does look an awful lot like a modern representation of a UFO, but of course it's just present-day bias to think that because it looks like a UFO to us, that's what the coin maker intended it to be. However, I'm sure that many are going to seize on this as evidence of the existence of seventeenth century UFOs.

Alien Bacteria on eBay — Here's the latest eBay oddity. It's 'Magic Air' that grows alien bacteria and makes your feet swell up:
This glass was left outside by one of my kids during a solar eclipse. When I retrieved it I noticed that it weighed over 10 pounds. I didn't notice any contents but tried pouring it out and spilled some of the "Magic Air" on my left foot. My shoe grew from a size 11 to a 17 DDD in less than 15 seconds. I ceased pouring any more of the Magic Air out and placed the Haunted Purple Glass in my cupboard.
It's already sold, but it sounds like he has a limitless supply of this 'Magic Air' for future auctions.

Tunguska UFO Hoax? — What caused the Tunguska Event, that massive, nuclear-bomb-strength blast that occurred in Siberia in 1908? A meteorite, is the standard answer. But a few days ago Russian researcher Yuri Lavbin claimed to have discovered "blocks of an extraterrestrial technical device" in the Tunguska area. Lavbin's theory is that a meteorite was headed for the earth, but it was blasted apart by an alien spaceship, thus causing the massive explosion. Why aliens blasting something out of the sky caused an alien technical device to fall to the ground isn't clear to me.

Lavbin announced this discovery in Pravda (which is kind of like announcing a major scientific discovery in the National Enquirer). He's transported a piece of this alien device to the city of Krasnoyarsk, though, of course, he hasn't yet allowed the general scientific community to view the thing.

So did he really find a piece of an alien ship? Or has he mistaken a piece of Cold-War-era space debris for an alien ship, as some are speculating? Or has he engineered a massive hoax? As is usually the case, time and scientific access to this 'extraterrestrial technical device' should provide the answer. In the meantime, here's a poll so that you can vote on what you think he's found:

UFO Attracting Device — This isn't, strictly speaking, a hoax, because I'm quite sure that its creators are serious about it. It's a UFO Attracting Device "equipped with colored strobe lights, low-powered lasers, a radio transmitter and a series of gauges said to track atmospheric changes common to extraterrestrial encounters." It was originally built by Myron 'Mike' Muckerheide, but was then purchased by Julie 'Jitterbug' Pearce. I would definitely buy this thing, if given a chance. But instead of using it to attract UFOs, I'd use it to drive my neighbors crazy. Whenever they play their music too loud, I'd crank up my UFO Attractor and drown them out. If a UFO happened to land in their backyard as a consequence, all the better. (via The Anomalist)

Xenomorphological Research Institute — The Nova Corp Xenomorphological Research Institute is "the world's leading centre for the study of extra-terrestrial life." As their website explains: "the NCXRI always attempts to study a species in its native habitat. However, when this is not possible specimens can be brought back to our high-tech research laboratory for further analysis. From simple metal cages to plasma-field containers and full sized aquariums, the NCXRI is fully equipped to house virtually any species." (via Liquito)

Intergalactic Personal Ads — Leave a message on Endless Echoes' answering machine, and for only $24.95 they'll beam it into outer space, where it will theoretically travel forever. They bill it as the perfect way to send a message to loved ones who have died (why dead people would get the message in outer space, I don't know). I think the service would be better targeted at lonely hearts in search of alien companionship (Single White Female ISO Single Green Alien). But the whole thing has a hoaxy feel to it... along the lines of those companies that offer to name a star after you, or sell people plots of land on the moon. Why not just call up a radio station and dedicate a song to someone if you really need to send out a message as a radio broadcast? At least that way someone would have a chance of actually hearing what you say.

Alien Abductions Incorporated — Alien Abductions, Inc. can provide you with your very own alien-abduction memories. As their website says: "The fact of the matter is that most people will probably never have the opportunity to be abducted by aliens. And even those elite few who are selected for abduction receive no assurances that they will fully remember their experience--much less a guarantee that their abduction will be everything that they hoped it would be. So why wait? Why wonder if they're ever going to come for you? Why even invest the time, trouble, and expense involved in an actual abduction when the highly trained and professional staff at Alien Abductions Incorporated can provide you with personalized, realistic memories of the alien abduction that you have been waiting for your entire life?" Their basic package offers implanted abduction memories, but I figure that if you're going to sign up for this, then at the very least you'd also want to get the 'front yard crop circle' add-on. (Submitted by Sam)

Alien Implant Removal — Read this question carefully: Have you ever "seen a being with huge, dark, watery-looking, almond-shaped eyes and wrinkled, gray skin? Was it wearing a skin-tight metallic body suit that lit up? Did its huge head seem out of proportion to its frail body?" If you answered yes, then you either live with this guy, or you're a possible victim of alien abduction and might be carrying around an alien implant inside of you. If it's the latter, then you're in luck. The folks over at abduct.com specialize in alien implant removal and deactivation. But please don't laugh. They seem very serious about this. (via J-Walk)

Fake UFO Photos — How to fake a UFO photo, courtesy of Skeptical Inquirer.

Majestic Twelve — Anson also sent along a second site: Majestic Twelve. This is the webpage of a super-above-top secret organization that may or may not cooperate with aliens in the abduction of human beings.

SciFi Happens — The SciFi Channel has a section on its website called SciFi Happens on which they pretend to invite the public to send in clips of true-life weird things that have been caught on film. All the clips are staged by the SciFi Channel itself, of course, but some of them are kind of cool. There's a UFO spotted flying around the World Trade Center, a guy who becomes magnetized after suffering an electric shock, ladybugs that fly in geometric patterns, and the Lake Champlain sea serpent. You need Quicktime to see the clips.

The Secret of Drive-In Theaters — Thanks to an anonymous visitor for this link which documents, at last, what I've long suspected—that drive-in movie theaters were designed and built by aliens from outer space for the purpose of studying us and beaming messages into our brains.