The Museum of Hoaxes
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Hoax Museum Blog Posts From
May 2004
Do Bakery Products Contain Human Hair? — An old article on Albalagh.net (it was new to me) describes how numerous bakery products contain an ingredient made out of human hair, and are therefore not allowed to be eaten by Muslims. The offending ingredient is the amino acid L-Cysteine, which can be made out of feathers, hooves... or yes, human hair. Back in January I linked to a story about soy sauce in China being made from human hair, so when I heard about bagels, croissants, pizza dough, etc. also containing human hair, I…
Posted: Mon May 31, 2004.   Comments (11)

Is David Hasselhoff Making a Rap Album? — Sky News has been reporting that Rapper Ice-T has decided to produce a new rap album by his LA neighbor, David Hasselhoff (of Baywatch fame). The article quotes Ice-T as saying, "He's gonna come out as Hassle the Hoff... The Hoff will surprise people with his rap skills and humour." When I read this article I got really scared, because I figured that if such a thing were to happen, it would definitely be a sign that the end was near. But thankfully it appears to be a hoax. On his…
Posted: Fri May 28, 2004.   Comments (1)

Penguin Warehouse — Can't think what to get your significant other for their next birthday? What about a penguin? As Penguin Warehouse, the internet's #1 domesticated penguin dealer, notes: "Penguins make wonderful birthday and holiday gifts all year long." Penguin Warehouse offers a variety of penguins including Emperor, King, Rockhopper, and Macaroni.
Posted: Thu May 27, 2004.   Comments (10)

The Teleparanormalphone — Do you ever answer the phone only to discover that there's no one on the other end... just the faint whisper of static? You could actually, without your knowledge, be receiving a call from a ghost. But how can you tell if it is a genuine 'ghost call' or just Uncle Fred up to his usual tricks? The answer: The teleparanormalphone. It's built-in electromagnetic field detector will tell you with 100% accuracy if that dead line is, in fact, a direct connection to the land of the dead.
Posted: Thu May 27, 2004.   Comments (1)


Hunting for Bambi Officially a Hoax — It's official. Michael Burdick, the guy behind that whole 'Hunting for Bambi' thing that turned into a media circus about a year ago (you remember, the Las Vegas company that claimed to be hosting paintball games in which you could hunt naked women), has finally admitted that the whole thing was a hoax. Not that anyone was in much doubt of that. As part of a plea bargain deal "Burdick acknowledged that claiming the paintball hunts were real was part of an advertising strategy for the…
Posted: Thu May 27, 2004.   Comments (1)

Hebrew Beer — Is Hebrew Beer for real? Absolutely. And it comes in two varieties: Genesis Ale and Messiah Bold. I've never seen this in my local beer store, but I'll have to look for it. When I get my hands on some I'll add a bottle of it to my rapidly growing collection of weird beers.
Posted: Thu May 27, 2004.   Comments (14)

Amazon Wish Lists — It turns out that quite a few famous people have wish lists on Amazon. For instance, Arnold Schwarzenegger wants a copy of Gladiator (seems appropriate). Warren Buffett, for some reason, wants a copy of his own collected essays. Based on what Bill Gates wants, he seems to be planning a hunting trip. John Kerry wants a pair of speedos (that's a scary thought). George W. Bush wants a copy of the American-English Pronunciation Dictionary. But Dick Cheney's list is by far the most touching.…
Posted: Thu May 27, 2004.   Comments (3)

Has Microsoft translated the Iliad into Messenger Speak? — The news that Microsoft has produced a 'messenger speak' translation of Homer's Iliad has been all over the wire services, but is it true? I thought it must be a joke when I first read it... another example of satire being treated as news. But I should have known better. It's Microsoft, after all (they're good at taking great things and making crappier versions of them... sorry, as an Apple user I couldn't resist the obvious joke). So yes, they really did do it... though they only…
Posted: Thu May 27, 2004.   Comments (1)

Crappy Dialup — If you're tired of having fast, always-on broadband service, then why not switch over to CrappyDialup.com. After all, there's no pleasure quite like that of making everyone who calls you get a busy signal. (via The Presurfer)
Posted: Thu May 27, 2004.   Comments (1)

Christian Debt Removers — I got spammed today by Christian Debt Removers, an organization which advertises itself as a debt elimination service "based on Christian principles." Whatever that means... your guess is as good as mine. The only thing I could figure out was that they've slapped a few proverbs up on their site and this somehow makes them 'Christian.' Of course, the one Christian phrase that's conspicuously absent from their site is the line from the Lord's Prayer: "forgive us our debts, as we also…
Posted: Wed May 26, 2004.   Comments (14)

Paranormal Potato Chip Gallery — "Found a Nixon in your bag of Barbecued? Spotted an Elvis in your Salt 'n Vinegar?" Then send them in to the Paranormal Potato Chip Gallery. Actually, I'm not sure if the chips currently on display are real or not. Surely with finds of this magnitude they should have recorded the time, date, and place of discovery. (via Liquito)
Posted: Tue May 25, 2004.   Comments (3)

Has Rumsfeld Banned Camera Phones in Iraq? — Lots of media outlets have been reporting that Rumsfeld has decided to ban camera phones in Iraq, in the wake of the photos of prisoner abuse coming out of Abu Ghraib. For instance, the story is on Yahoo! news, the Washington Times, and The Sydney Morning Herald. The Register, at least, points out that there are doubts about the story, while also noting that it would be almost impossible to actually enforce such a ban. But what's the source for this news. The Sydney Morning Herald
Posted: Tue May 25, 2004.   Comments (1)

Spanking and the Christian Parent — Sometimes I really have no clue what to make of a site. Is it serious, or just a joke? That's the puzzle that fatherly.org presents. It bills itself as a forum "made up of fathers who believe in a traditional, conservative, and practical approach to effective parenting and child discipline." Or, as it states more bluntly later on, it's promoting the message that "Christian parents know that the Word of God advises parents to use spanking as a form of punishment with their children."
Posted: Tue May 25, 2004.   Comments (4)

4-Wheel Segway Coming Soon — Rumors are flying that the next generation model of the popular Segway will one-up the original by adding an extra set of wheels to the vehicle, thereby producing the 4-wheel 'p-series' Segway. The platform will also be lengthened so that two people can stand on it at once. Of course, as Gizmodo points out, this completely defeats the purpose of the thing since "the whole point of the Segway is that it balances itself on two wheels." But it sure sounds good. (via Gizmodo)
Posted: Tue May 25, 2004.   Comments (1)

Get GodStopper — Are you tired of religious spam filling up your inbox day after day? Then GodStopper may be what you need. It's the "ultimate in religion blocking software from the company that brought you SimJihad." It works to block faith-promoting messages from all the major religions: christianity, judaism, buddhism, islam, etc. But the real question is, will it work against the Church of SpongeBob Squarepants?
Posted: Tue May 25, 2004.   Comments (1)

Emily Chesley Reading Circle — Emily Chesley was a "speculative fiction writer of the late Victorian period (who lived for some time in the London, Ontario region), who has been long-overlooked by Canadian literature." She was also a "poet, social activist, explorer, aviatrix, and 92-year-old pole vaulter." The Emily Chesley Reading Circle is a "group of 'scholars' and bon-vivants" who get together to study and help promote her work. So far, they've been quite successful. They've even managed to get an abridged…
Posted: Tue May 25, 2004.   Comments (1)

A Few Nonexistent Places — According to reliable information that can be found on the internet, Idaho doesn't exist. Nor does Wyoming, Wisconsin, Vermont, North Dakota, France, and England. Oh, and the Moon doesn't exist either.
Posted: Mon May 24, 2004.   Comments (7)

Clueless Childless Couple — Last week the British Daily Mirror printed a story about a particularly clueless German couple. As the article put it: "Fertility doctors were baffled when a perfectly-healthy couple claimed they couldn't have children - until they confessed they had never made love. The husband, 36, and his 32-year-old wife thought that all they had to do to make a baby was to lie next to each other and let nature take its course." This story got picked up by wire services, and soon was being linked…
Posted: Sun May 23, 2004.   Comments (1)

Ian Hislop Mania — Got this contribution from Chris 'Crispy' Philpot in the UK: BBC Television in the UK showed an episode of topical news quiz 'Have I Got News For You' that picked up on the ex-wife's knickers on eBay story. It said how useless tat could reach an astonishing price - going on to show the auction... for a signed photograph of Ian Hislop, a team captain on the show. At the time it had no bids and 6 hits.... Bidding went crazy - it started off quite sensibly and climbed to £5,000 without…
Posted: Sun May 23, 2004.   Comments (1)

Boycott Gillette — I've received quite a few emails with questions like this: Is Gillette really putting spy chips inside of their products that allow them to spy on consumers at a distance? Is the company surreptitiously snapping photographs of people who pick up their products from store shelves? Are these and other claims being made at the Boycott Gillette website really true? Well, the strange thing is, as wild as these claims sound, they're actually true. Or rather, they used to be true... and could…
Posted: Sat May 22, 2004.   Comments (3)

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