Hoax Museum Blog: Death

LifeGem — I should create a category for things that sound fake, but are actually real. In that category I would place LifeGem. According to their website, a LifeGem is "a certified, high quality diamond created from the carbon of your loved one as a memorial to their unique and wonderful life." Or, to put it more plainly, it's a diamond made from cremated human (or animal) remains. Actually, I'm just assuming it's real because it seems to have received quite a bit of publicity from places like the BBC and NPR. But the obvious con to watch out for would be that after someone pays all that money they would then receive a diamond that wasn't actually made from the remains of their loved one. How would anyone ever know the difference?

Will Andy Kaufman Return? — Some say Andy Kaufman died on May 16, 1984. Some say he didn't. But whatever the case may be, Kaufman said that if he did fake his death, he would return 20 years later, and May 16, 2004 will be the 20th anniversary of his 'death.' In honor of this, Comic Relief will be holding an 'Andy Kaufman: Dead or Alive' show at the LA House of Blues on May 16. Perhaps Andy himself will put in an appearance. (Thanks, Julie)

Afterlife Publicity — As Gawker reports, a great 'take-this-job-and-shove-it' email has been making the rounds recently. It's penned by Bob Rubenstein, a publicist for a record label, who lost his job soon after the lead singer of the band he was supposed to promote, Pre)Thing, died of a heart attack. Bob, embittered for being fired, dishes some dirt on the company he was canned from, revealing how they brought in a psychic to talk with the departed spirit of the singer to see if he'd be willing to do any interviews with music journalists, via the psychic, from beyond the grave. But it turns out there's more to this story than Gawker realized. Rolling Stone reveals that the Bob Rubenstein email is actually a hoax created as an ingenious viral marketing campaign in order to get the word out about Pre)Thing, since their lead singer really did die recently and therefore really can't do publicity. (via BoingBoing)

Michael Jackson Isn’t Dead — Despite the claims of this faux news story, Michael Jackson isn't dead.

Woman Killed by Frozen Urine — Kelli wrote in with a question about this strange photo showing a woman impaled by a long, yellowish-looking stick.

The photo comes with an explanatory caption:

Kelli wants to know if it's real. Well, of course it's not. This photo has actually been floating around the internet for quite a while. As explained over at the Darwin Awards, it comes from a spoof news program aired in Britain called The Day Today.

A Wedding and a Funeral — New York artist 'Shishaldin' has announced her intention to marry the French poet, Isidore Ducasse. The one catch is that Ducasse has been dead for 134 years. But in France the President is allowed to approve marriages between the living and the dead thanks to a law that was passed following a case where a woman's fiancee died right before they could get married and the grief-stricken woman pleaded with the President to allow the marriage to proceed anyway. My one question here is that, okay, say Shishaldin gets married to the dead poet. What if she later changes her mind? How does she then go about getting a divorce? I mean, most of the time you're no longer considered married once your spouse dies, but if you marry your spouse after they're dead, surely the situation is different. Of course, before this marriage proceeds President Chirac would have to approve it, and I'm guessing that the chances of that happening are slim.

Actor Wanted, Preferably Dead — A British theater group is auditioning actors for a part in its next production. But there's one catch. They're only interested in people who can promise that they'll die before the play begins its run. Your body, if you get the part, will then lie lifeless on stage. Evidently it's not a speaking role. It's hard not to suspect that this is all a big publicity stunt and that when the time comes there will be no body on stage. Wouldn't you need a license for something like that? It reminds me of Hell on Earth's Suicide Stunt from last September.

Decomposition Cam — The folks over at SeeMeRot.com have engineered something rather unusual: a webcam set up inside a coffin so that you can see their friend's body decompose. At least, that's what they claim. The 'webcam image' appears simply to be an animated gif that cycles between a blurry and an in-focus image to simulate how a real webcam might behave. Plus, they have rather odd sponsors for a project of this kind... sponsors offering 'live sexy girl cams'. I suppose the logic is that once you get tired of watching the dead girl (they say it's a woman in the picture), you can head over and watch some live sexy girls. The site is registered to someone at 7985 Santa Monica Blvd. in West Hollywood. No suite number is given, so it's impossible to tell which business there registered it, but most of the stores in that area are in the 'adult entertainment' business. I suspect that SeeMeRot.com is a weird promotional gimmick dreamed up by someone selling porn. In other words, it's fake.
(By the way, the idea of a decomposition cam isn't unique to seemerot.com. Joey Skaggs included this concept in his FinalCurtain.com cemetery hoax. Skaggs's fantastical cemetery theme park was going to include a grave constructed by an artist named Joseph Sullivan that would show Sullivan's decomposing body on an above-ground monitor.)

The Fake Death of Andy Kaufman — Most people think that the comedian Andy Kaufman died of lung cancer on May 16, 1984. But Enrique P. believes that Kaufman faked his death. And he's put up a website where he argues his case. (Thanks to Julie H. for the link).

The Death Clock — The Internet Death Clock will calculate the time of your death, telling you exactly how many seconds you have left to live. But Chris has written in noting that there's something fishy about it because every time you click the button to calculate your time of death, you get a different number. I would add that I once had a fortune teller read my tarot cards and tell me when I was going to die, and the internet death clock doesn't agree with this reading... so it must be a hoax. (note: sarcasm intended).

Death by Lizards — I'm not sure whether or not this is a hoax, but it's definitely strange. Back in 1910 a young woman died in Akron, Ohio and the local doctor reported that the cause of her death was lizards living in her stomach. Common sense would say that this couldn't have been the case. Lizards couldn't survive for an extended period in the acid of a person's stomach. So did the doctor really believe lizards were the cause of the woman's death, or was he purposefully trying to make an outrageous claim? I don't know.

Hell on Earth’s Suicide Stunt — Hell on Earth promises that its concert in St. Petersburg this weekend will include an onstage suicide. A terminally ill patient will be the one departing this world. I guess if you wanted to go, doing it at a rock concert wouldn't be a bad way to do it, but in my opinion this is a pure publicity stunt hoax. In the same vein as Hunting for Bambi, Or Freck's New Feet (in which Freck claimed he was going to cut off his legs for a live audience... that never happened, of course). What will happen in this case is that the police will show up, and the concert will never take place. But Hell on Earth will have achieved lots of publicity. I'd never heard of them before, after all, but now I have. They can also claim to have legitimately raised awareness about the subject of euthanasia. The beauty of this stunt is that it definitely could happen. But I would wager money that it won't. These stunts never deliver on their promises. They're all about the publicity.

George Plimpton (1927-2003) — George Plimpton, creator of Sidd Finch (which came in at number 3 on my list of the greatest April Fool's day hoaxes of all time), has died. He was 76 years old.

The Death of Joey Skaggs — Legendary hoaxer Joey Skaggs is dead at 58. Okay, not really. But reports of Skaggs's death have surfaced, much to his surprise. Skaggs comments: "I found it quite amusing, but just to be on the safe side, I'm going
to see my doctor about this pain in my ass!"

Carl Lewis Isn’t Dead — Olympic track star Carl Lewis was reported to have been killed in a bicycle accident in this news report. But actually Lewis is just fine. The report is a phony, rigged up by a biking enthusiast to draw attention to an abutment in a Houston park that he considers dangerous.

The Life and Death of Eric Gordon — Here's an amusing account of a Harvard grad named Eric Gordon who faked his own death in order to try to get removed from Harvard's obnoxious alumni mailing list. Harvard actually published an obituary for Eric, but then had to retract it later.

Damion Hall Not Dead — The singer Damion Hall is not dead, despite recent email rumors to the contrary (supposedly he was found dead on a greyhound bus).

Push-Button Bugles — The military has a problem: not enough bugle players to play taps at all the military funerals. Therefore, they came up with the solution of bugles implanted with electronic chips that contain a recording of taps. No skill is required to play them, beyond being able to flip a switch. Now a group is protesting the use of the fake bugles, and is calling on bugle players throughout the nation to assist at military funerals: www.buglesacrossamerica.org