Win A Book, Contest #2
I've received a free copy of David Wilton's new book, Word Myths: Debunking Linguistic Urban Legends, courtesy of Oxford University Press. So I'm having a contest to give it away. The book has just been published. I'm not sure it's even out in stores yet, but you can get a copy here... if you win the contest. First, what's the book about? Wilton debunks all those stories about where words come from, such as 'is GOLF really an acronym for Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden?' or 'does SOS stand for Save Our Souls?' or 'was F**K originally an acronym meaning For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge?' You'll have to get the book to find out the answers. It's a lot of fun, and quite enlightening.
Here's what I've decided for the contest: urban legend haiku. I figure this is appropriate since it's a book about urban legends and language. Whoever comes up with the best haiku describing an urban legend (or a hoax, since this is the Museum of Hoaxes) wins the contest. What's 'best' will, of course, be subjectively decided by me.
If you need inspiration, examples of urban legend haiku can be found here or here. I'm not going to be a stickler about whether or not entries maintain proper haiku form (three lines: first line five syllables, second line seven syllables, third line five syllables), since apparently the idea that haiku must adhere strictly to this form is itself a bit of an urban legend. Keep it to three lines, but if the number of syllables isn't perfect, I don't care.
Here's my own rather weak attempt at a hoax haiku. It took me all of a minute to write:
Enclosed in glass,
Soon she'll be rectangular,
My Bonsai Kitten.
You'll have to do better than this to win the book.
The contest will end on Nov. 20, about a week from today (oh, and you can submit as many haiku as you like).
Update: And one more thing, submit your entries as comments. Don't email them to me directly.
Update: Okay, the contest is now closed. I need a day or two to review all the entries.
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Categories: Miscellaneous, Urban Legends Posted by Alex on Fri Nov 12, 2004 |
Comments (143) |
| More from the Hoax Museum Archives: | |||
Price soars on Branston Pickle,
Stock value fickle:
Now worth only a nickel.
Posted by Helen Thies on Sun Nov 14, 2004 at 05:40 AM
Stock value fickle:
Now worth only a nickel.
Girl thumbing a ride;
disappears from my back seat.
Oh no! She's a ghost.
Posted by Big Gary C on Sun Nov 14, 2004 at 08:47 AM
disappears from my back seat.
Oh no! She's a ghost.
Some say thirty pounds
Of undigested meat in the Duke
I believe it was forty
Posted by robert on Sun Nov 14, 2004 at 01:53 PM
Of undigested meat in the Duke
I believe it was forty
Remote Control hunts
and the feared StunStrike Stun Gun
DUCK AND TAKE COVER
Posted by Darrien on Sun Nov 14, 2004 at 02:03 PM
and the feared StunStrike Stun Gun
DUCK AND TAKE COVER
A toothless ad man.
He is old, yet he can dance.
Who is this Mr. Six?
I go down the well.
I look to the distant sky.
Now I can see stars.
Buy a Bonsai Cat!
Chicken Head in Happy Meal!
Next time visit Snopes.
Posted by PlantPerson on Sun Nov 14, 2004 at 02:31 PM
He is old, yet he can dance.
Who is this Mr. Six?
I go down the well.
I look to the distant sky.
Now I can see stars.
Buy a Bonsai Cat!
Chicken Head in Happy Meal!
Next time visit Snopes.
Heart failure did it for Jim
For Jimi, barbiturates overdose
And for Cass : Ham Sandwich
Posted by Robert on Sun Nov 14, 2004 at 04:35 PM
For Jimi, barbiturates overdose
And for Cass : Ham Sandwich
Haiku's to Hoax to.
No Such Agency,
They Can't Let You Know The Truth.
Yet, Drink Boo Bee Juice.
Bush Wins Election,
Remote Control Hunting though,
suddenly sounds good.
Again Not Suprised,
Pop Star Not Performing Live,
Tickets Please? Hmm Dead.
Posted by Miguel on Sun Nov 14, 2004 at 09:28 PM
No Such Agency,
They Can't Let You Know The Truth.
Yet, Drink Boo Bee Juice.
Bush Wins Election,
Remote Control Hunting though,
suddenly sounds good.
Again Not Suprised,
Pop Star Not Performing Live,
Tickets Please? Hmm Dead.
email attachment
man holding gigantic cat
skilled in photoshop
Posted by coffee on Sun Nov 14, 2004 at 09:57 PM
man holding gigantic cat
skilled in photoshop
an empty phone booth
dangerous coin slot awaits
don't reach for the change
Posted by coffee on Sun Nov 14, 2004 at 10:06 PM
dangerous coin slot awaits
don't reach for the change
a secret message
new friend from nigeria
send account info
Posted by coffee on Sun Nov 14, 2004 at 10:16 PM
new friend from nigeria
send account info
bug spray in toilet
an extinguished cigarette
badly burned rectum
Posted by coffee on Sun Nov 14, 2004 at 10:25 PM
an extinguished cigarette
badly burned rectum
At risk of seeming a complete prat, I've written one for each of the top 20 April Fools hoaxes (my fave is no. 18 - though they're all pretty bad:).
1 Three words in the news
Hint at untold suffering:
Spaghetti crop fails
2 Legend
Posted by paul in prague on Mon Nov 15, 2004 at 06:34 AM
1 Three words in the news
Hint at untold suffering:
Spaghetti crop fails
2 Legend
I met her last night,
but now she has gone away.
So has my kidney.
Our lovely Peaches
sucked the life of the baby,
She wanted the milk.
(http://www.snopes.com/critters/wild/catsuck.htm)
Ashes to ashes,
this cocoa mix is no good.
Oops, we ate grandpa.
(http://www.snopes.com/horrors/cannibal/cremains.htm)
Posted by Netta on Mon Nov 15, 2004 at 08:31 AM
but now she has gone away.
So has my kidney.
Our lovely Peaches
sucked the life of the baby,
She wanted the milk.
(http://www.snopes.com/critters/wild/catsuck.htm)
Ashes to ashes,
this cocoa mix is no good.
Oops, we ate grandpa.
(http://www.snopes.com/horrors/cannibal/cremains.htm)
A lovely cactus
shivers in my living room
GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!
Posted by kvn299 on Mon Nov 15, 2004 at 09:10 AM
shivers in my living room
GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!
Mild winter and no
dreaded spaghetti weevil
make dinner yummy.
Posted by Krista on Mon Nov 15, 2004 at 09:40 AM
dreaded spaghetti weevil
make dinner yummy.
Agressive rabbit;
do not milk the Jackalope.
Lure him with whiskey.
Posted by Krista on Mon Nov 15, 2004 at 09:48 AM
do not milk the Jackalope.
Lure him with whiskey.
The charity says,
"Homeless are Americans,
too, so give them guns!"
Posted by Krista on Mon Nov 15, 2004 at 09:51 AM
"Homeless are Americans,
too, so give them guns!"
I was there I saw
Hidden away denied all
Five and One forgot
Posted by Charybdis on Mon Nov 15, 2004 at 11:17 AM
Hidden away denied all
Five and One forgot
Lonely gamers seek
Russian girlfriends for to love
Dissapointment bitter
Posted by Charybdis on Mon Nov 15, 2004 at 11:20 AM
Russian girlfriends for to love
Dissapointment bitter
Scotland vacation fun
No return Alex Boese
Hail replicant Alex
Posted by Charybdis on Mon Nov 15, 2004 at 11:23 AM
No return Alex Boese
Hail replicant Alex
Sitting - cannot go
Close walls now are second home
Need Dr Pepper
Posted by Charybdis on Mon Nov 15, 2004 at 11:25 AM
Close walls now are second home
Need Dr Pepper
Weevil aphid mite
Borer caterpillar worm
No problem - now use Coke
Posted by Charybdis on Mon Nov 15, 2004 at 11:36 AM
Borer caterpillar worm
No problem - now use Coke
theft - but not all lost
hang on - photographs reveal
anal toothbrush fun
Posted by sophie on Mon Nov 15, 2004 at 11:39 AM
hang on - photographs reveal
anal toothbrush fun
Unattached units
Dream of future proleptics
Meta-treason, no?
Posted by Floormaster Squeeze on Mon Nov 15, 2004 at 12:12 PM
Dream of future proleptics
Meta-treason, no?
Idiots are pissed
Only because they believed
No smoking in cars
Posted by Ghostchild on Mon Nov 15, 2004 at 04:05 PM
Only because they believed
No smoking in cars
It's Alex Boese
Living in San Diego
He's losing his hair
Posted by John on Mon Nov 15, 2004 at 05:17 PM
Living in San Diego
He's losing his hair
I'm sorry, John. That's not a hoax. That's sad reality.
Posted by The Curator in San Diego on Mon Nov 15, 2004 at 05:20 PM
Like my beauty mark?
It itches like crazy. Eek!
Spiderlings hatching!
Posted by cantwaltz on Mon Nov 15, 2004 at 05:26 PM
It itches like crazy. Eek!
Spiderlings hatching!
We brought our cute pet
Back from our Mexican tour.
He loves cheese; fears cats.
Posted by Big Gary C on Mon Nov 15, 2004 at 05:56 PM
Back from our Mexican tour.
He loves cheese; fears cats.
Naughty teens romp naked
in dark living room. Surprise!
Big birthday party!
Posted by Big Gary C on Mon Nov 15, 2004 at 05:58 PM
in dark living room. Surprise!
Big birthday party!
{stupid336x280}
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