The Pooping Intern

Gawker has reported a rumor -- the tale of the pooping intern -- that has all the earmarks of an urban legend. The rumor, about an unnamed person, comes from an unnamed source, and it details the kind of too-awful-to-be-true scenario that's the stock-in-trade of urban legends. Which isn't to say that the story isn't true. I have no idea. I'm just saying it sounds like an urban legend.

The story, to summarize: A young woman had recently taken a trip to Israel where she caught a stomach bug. After the vacation she shows up at NBC for the first day of her summer internship. But disaster strikes when she's overcome by sudden-onset diarrhea. She rushes to the bathroom... only to discover that NBC locks its bathrooms, and she doesn't have the key. Therefore, the contents of her intestines end up all over the hallways of NBC.

Most people might decide to not show up for work again, after that. But she shows up the next day... and no one ever says anything about it because they're all too embarrassed. But the rumor about it ends up all over the internet.


Posted on Thu Aug 21, 2008


only to discover that NBC locks its bathrooms

Yeah, right.
Posted by Joe  on  Thu Aug 21, 2008  at  10:01 PM
Definitely just a tall tale. Such an intestinal misfortune could certainly happen, of course, but why would you then be fired or resign? It wouldn't be your fault (unless you did it on purpose, which would be rank insanity). Anyway, do they really lock the restrooms on floors that you probably have to have a badge to get onto anyway?
Posted by Big Gary  on  Thu Aug 21, 2008  at  10:03 PM
Yes, Gary, you usually need a badge to get above the lobby floor in 30 Rock, but there is a secret way to get upstairs. You could probably figure it out if you gave it a moment's thought. I've done it three times in the past (back in the days when I was trying to get hired as a writer for SNL or Letterman, in his NBC incarnation.)
Posted by Cranky Media Guy  on  Fri Aug 22, 2008  at  02:11 AM
This is only tangentially related but years ago I worked in a small retail store whose one small bathroom was very out of the way.

Anyway, one day I showed up at work and food poop on the floor. The cash register was also robbed of all its change (bills were deposited nightly). None of the inventory was stolen (it was pretty slow business so I had very accurate inventory). Anyway, I called the police to report the crime. I told them about the robbery and said I was not sure yet but nothing but change appeared to be stolen. They were filling out their forms and were sending over a car to look at the place when I mentioned that "robber" also pooped on the floor. At that point, the officer on the other end said quickly; "oh, it must have been Tom G. then." His M.O. was so well known locally, that they barely bothered to stop at the store to look for evidence before they went to his place to arrest him. I always laugh at CSI type stuff when small towns are light years ahead!
Posted by Floormaster Squeeze  on  Fri Aug 22, 2008  at  11:19 AM
The first sentence of the second paragraph was absent mindedly formed by me. It should state

"Anyway, one day I showed up at work and there was poop on the floor."
Posted by Floormaster Squeeze  on  Fri Aug 22, 2008  at  11:22 AM
Big Gary, you're in Amarillo? Me too! Small world....

And on the subject, if I took a dump on the floor, no way I would be showing my face there again.
Posted by Josh  on  Fri Aug 22, 2008  at  05:03 PM
Thanks for the laugh.
Posted by Dr. Thinker  on  Sat Aug 23, 2008  at  12:31 PM
Back at my first job in NYC, we had a bike messenger smear poop all over the walls in the restroom.
Posted by MadCarlotta  on  Sat Aug 23, 2008  at  12:38 PM
One time in high school, I went to the bathroom to take my inhaler (because for whatever reason, the staff didn't like my using it out where everyone could see) and I started heading into one of the stalls..and it looked like someone had exploded in there. There was poop all over the toilet, in the toilet, on the floor, and on the walls. It was so awful that I almost threw up.
Posted by Sakano  on  Sun Aug 24, 2008  at  11:42 AM
Floormaster, clearly the small town you are in is pretty exceptional; When a string of robberies including my father's wroplace were robbed by burglars who left both faeces and cigarrette butts on the floor, the local cop explained that there was no way to get DNA evidence from such things because "Stuff you see on TV isn't real".

Sakano, maybe you couldn't use your inhaler because of a zero-tolerance program for performance-enhancing drugs . . . We in NZ have a precedent for this, when a rather precocious lass successfully got a rival taken off the netball team because she used an inhaler, and the first girl pointed out that this was a drug that enhanced her performance over what it would have been normally. Since this was unfair, the peewee Portia claimed, she should not be allowed to use it during play. but she is asthmatic, and sometimes needs it, claimed some players and a few staff. Ahah, proclaimed the midget McBeal and most of the other staff, which means that we are right, and moreover could be seen as evidence of addiction . . . Just to avoid upset, the breathy lass was taken off the team.
Posted by DFStuckey  on  Mon Aug 25, 2008  at  03:01 AM
Oh no, my Olympic dream is over. D: Stupid performance enhancing inhaler!
Posted by Sakano  on  Tue Aug 26, 2008  at  11:28 AM
Funny to read, thanks for taking my mood up
Posted by Brad  on  Thu May 14, 2009  at  12:43 AM
we have a new intern in my office that poops in the only restroom on the floor every day after lunch. she doesn't bother to turn on the fan or spray after dropping her daily load. we have poor ventilation and she could easily go to the basement bathroom where nobody else would ever know. she leaves skid marks on the toilet, too. not sure what they are feeding these kids at the dorms now days, but, damn sure she is getting plenty of fiber.
Posted by Thumbelina  on  Tue Jan 11, 2011  at  11:48 AM
There is a video of a TV intern in a white trouser suit in exactly this situation while on air. She tries to get in the door, but it is locked (or she can't work the handle) and soils her suit.
Posted by Alan  on  Sat Mar 24, 2012  at  09:05 PM
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