The Gay Penguin Sex Test

Here's a story that I would have thought for sure was an April Fool's Day hoax, except that it's not April Fools. It involves four female penguins being brought from Sweden to the Bremerhaven Zoo in Germany in order to test whether the male penguins there are gay or straight. Apparently the males seem a little confused about their sexuality: "The males have been observed trying to mate with each other and trying to hatch offspring out of stones." So the zoo will add the females and see what happens. But reportedly gay activists are outraged by this, arguing that "penguins had a right to form couples without human interference." A more recent article reports that after a month the 'Swedish temptresses' have failed to turn the heads of the males. But are gay activists seriously protesting this, or are the protests tongue-in-cheek? Not being able to read the German sources, I'm not sure. If the Bremerhaven penguins really do turn out to be gay, then perhaps they can run for president.

Animals Sex/Romance

Posted on Mon Feb 21, 2005


Sorry, Alex. Never having had Gay Penguin Sex, I doubt I'd pass the test, but I'm willing to cram for it. Will I need a tuxedo?
Posted by Raoul  on  Mon Feb 21, 2005  at  08:56 PM
doesn't the fact that the pengiuns are in a ZOO totally destroy the gay-activists argument against the interference from humans?!?
Posted by jimbo  on  Mon Feb 21, 2005  at  09:28 PM
That's why I wasn't sure if the protests were serious or not.
Posted by The Curator  in  San Diego  on  Mon Feb 21, 2005  at  09:38 PM
What's black and white and Gay all over?
Posted by Raoul  on  Mon Feb 21, 2005  at  10:51 PM
Raoul in a tuxedo
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Mon Feb 21, 2005  at  10:52 PM
I was thinking: Nuns, but that'll work
Posted by Raoul  on  Mon Feb 21, 2005  at  10:53 PM
You must learn to fear the Ruler, the Yardstick, and the Pointer. Then, and only then, will you NEVER*, EVER*, DO*, THAT*, AGAIN*. Heathen.
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Mon Feb 21, 2005  at  11:01 PM
The german gay protest was not a hoax.

It was also covered in the danish medis.
Posted by Per Madsen  on  Tue Feb 22, 2005  at  01:10 AM
gay animals ay? i asked some people if this proves that gay sex isnt unnatural, apperently it doesnt
Posted by joeodd  on  Tue Feb 22, 2005  at  01:25 AM
Remember Roy and Silo?

Joeodd, there's an amazing amount of documented homosexuality in many, many species, both in the wild and in captivity. Of course, that's irrelevant to the moral issue - it's an odd logical leap to equate 'natural' with 'right' and 'unnatural' with 'wrong', but a lot of people seem to fall for it.
Posted by paul in prague  on  Tue Feb 22, 2005  at  02:02 AM
"Just because it happens in nature, doesn't make it 'natural.'" --Daily Show's Stephen Colbert
Posted by Citizen Premier  on  Tue Feb 22, 2005  at  02:04 AM
Is that a comedy show or something?
Posted by paul in prague  on  Tue Feb 22, 2005  at  02:09 AM
theres a type of monkey called the bonobo which always has sex daily, with whatever other bonobo is available. this gives rise to the very pleasing expression 'homo bonobo'
Posted by Nick  on  Tue Feb 22, 2005  at  10:59 AM
I like the fact that animal rights/ gay rights activists are getting involved.
Save the gay penguins!

Although it strikes me as likely that gay birds would know better than to waddle around in formal evening dress before 6 p.m.
Posted by Big Gary  on  Tue Feb 22, 2005  at  01:40 PM
Alex, here is an article in English that seems to treat the whole thing very seriously.

Posted by John.  on  Tue Feb 22, 2005  at  02:09 PM
Did ya see the Dopey screwed a penguin joke?
Posted by stork  on  Tue Feb 22, 2005  at  06:18 PM
I live in Western Australia and there was an article in the West newspaper about it. The really stupid thing is, these penguins are on the verge of extinction and the gay activists are still fighting for the penguins gay rights! What's the point of being gay if your species has ceased to exist???
Posted by Nettie  on  Tue Feb 22, 2005  at  07:01 PM
Just because some gay activists spoke out about this doesn't mean that ALL gay activists share the same opinion of it.

And that's assuming the people that originally spoke out about it were gay activists to begin with, and not anti-gay activists trying to make GA's look bad, or pranksters.

Similarly, just because Alex has a hoax website doesn't mean that all male humans on Earth have a hoax website.

Dear reader: don't be fooled into using this story as an excuse to mock and rage against gay people. You're better than that. (optimist that I am)
Posted by Barghest  on  Tue Feb 22, 2005  at  11:42 PM
Just because we're having a laugh over this it doesn't mean that we're against gay people or gay activists. My brother and several of my friends are gay and when told of this story, thought it was pretty stupid too. Our comments relate to this story in particular, not every single person on earth who just happens to be gay
Posted by Nettie  on  Wed Feb 23, 2005  at  12:20 AM
But the point is still that it's not true to say that "the gay activists are still fighting for the penguins gay rights!"

SOME gay activists are, maybe. Not all of them.
Posted by Barghest  on  Wed Feb 23, 2005  at  12:37 AM
Barghest, I don't think anyone said 'the gay activists' (except nettie, who was clearly referring the these specific gay activists); certainly Alex simply said 'reportedly gay activists are outraged by this'. Whith no definite article this is not a blanket statement, and it woud take a) a truly homophobic bigot or b) someone hypersensitive to the point of seeing bigotry everywhere to take that as a statement including 'all' gay cativists.

Whithout the definite article the expression does not imply a unilateral response at all; the quantifier 'some' is simply not required.
Posted by paul in prague  on  Wed Feb 23, 2005  at  01:28 AM
I, for one, never meant to say that ALL gay rights activists or ALL animal rights activists (both of which are groups I often sympathize with, by the way) were protesting the zoo's attempts to promote penguin heterosexuality. I just thought it was interesting that SOME of them are protesting it.
Posted by Big Gary C  on  Wed Feb 23, 2005  at  02:57 PM
Didn't mean to be overly sensitive and nitpicky. It's just that I've seen this story come up on several other sites, and the issue always comes down to discussing how stupid and offbase those wacky gay activists are. Which isn't really fair.

The larger issue, of course, is that it's not terribly important what a penguin desires. If that were priority, the little guys wouldn't be living in captivity in the first place, I'm pretty sure.

What is important is the continuation of the species: the penguins have to produce offspring. (Hey, just like royalty.) If the penguins don't want to do it the old fashioned way, the zoo staff can masturbate the penguins and do artificial insemination, just like every other animal in the zoo. (if the tigers have to put up with it, why not the penguins too?) Once they produce some babies, they can have all the gay sex orgies they want (the penguins I mean).
Posted by Barghest  on  Wed Feb 23, 2005  at  09:30 PM
Coincidentally I read this very cute comic about pervert penguins. Enjoy 😊

Posted by John.  on  Thu Feb 24, 2005  at  11:01 AM
As owners of gay penguins Sigfried and Roy and if you guys want to see some hardcore penguin on penguin gay action drop me a line it's actually pretty steamy.

These guys ditch the formal wear, drop the tuxedos, and get busy on ice.

The working title for the movie we're producing is going to be "Riding the North Pole" or "Fags in Formal Wear" or "Penguin Penises of Fury" or "Penguin Pitchers and Catchers". Which one do you guys thinks works better.

Does anyone have experience with training penguins to perform facials or swallowing huge loads? We've been trying, but Sigfried has been taking more hits in the chin than a boxer.

Just get back to us thanks.
Posted by Aaron and Ryan  on  Mon Apr 11, 2005  at  09:01 AM
That's hawt. I also have gay animals, 2 grizzly bears to be exact, and my partner, Brian is also an animal 😉

Facials are my expertise, having hot animal goo on my face is the ultimate. And if you want to learn a thing or two about swallowing huge loads, just ask Brian, Mr. No Gag Reflex.

Call us asap, cell phones:

Posted by Jeffery Denton  on  Tue Apr 12, 2005  at  09:25 AM
hey every one i am gay and i like penis
Posted by bob  on  Sun Dec 04, 2005  at  09:18 AM
to be honest u r all a load of freaks nd to be fair i dont blame u seein as u hav a president named,
George w Bush.

1 day i will invade america with a load of monkeys these will be highly trained in out smarting americans. i will have trained dem 4 about 10-15 mins.

luv u loads
all da best
big willy

gd luck wid da penguin luv
Posted by willy  on  Tue Mar 14, 2006  at  08:34 AM
Don't make fun of us, I'm going to make you have sex with me now
Posted by Bruce (A gay penguin)  on  Tue Mar 14, 2006  at  08:37 AM
Ok, so what if the penguins are gay? It shouldn't matter. Really, it shouldn't. Okay, first your making a big deal out of gay people and now, animals? Who gives a damn really? I have 2 very good friends are are lezbians. I also know some gay guys. There's nothing wrong with being gay. If you believe in love at first sight, then you will understand why some people would make a big deal out of this.
Posted by Vicki  on  Fri Apr 13, 2007  at  09:20 PM
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