Quick Links: Dec. 19, 2007

Survivor Tale of Woe
A contestant on the TV show Survivor:China may have lied about losing her job as a janitor at an Elementary School. If I still watched Survivor I might care more about this, but I haven't seen it in years.

Princeton Hoax Exposed
A student at Princeton who was a member of an anti-sex club claimed he was beaten up by horny liberals who were enraged by his "brave stand against promiscuity." Turns out he beat himself up. Figures.

Gold Pills
Offered for sale at the New Store Museum. "Pure gold passes straight through the body and ends up in your stool resulting in sparkly shit!" Cranky Media Guy thinks this has to be a joke. But I bet it's real. After all, all it involves is putting some gold leaf, which isn't that expensive, in a pill. It doesn't even need FDA approval.

Entertainment Hate Crimes/Terror

Posted on Wed Dec 19, 2007


Holy crap! I want sparkly shit!

Kind of gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "he shits gold".
Posted by Tah  on  Wed Dec 19, 2007  at  12:49 AM
Well, I'm not convinced it's a joke, but I certainly think it might be an art statement or something.
Posted by Cranky Media Guy  on  Wed Dec 19, 2007  at  01:42 AM
Sparkly shit??? Too bad this wasn't advertised in the mainstream media, every red-neck in the country would be returning their Christmas gifts to buy some of these pills, so they could drop a turd that matched their bass-boat!!!
Posted by Christopher  on  Wed Dec 19, 2007  at  06:06 AM
If it is real, then someone is going to jail soon.

Gold is a heavy metal. Heavy metals cause very grave problems when ingested into the human body (think lead, mercury, etc.), eventually leading to mania and death. It takes surprisingly small amounts to have very adverse effects.

If the gold contained in these pills is fine enough to be soluble and absorbed by the gastrointestinal tract it could kill someone, as opposed to a ring that would not dissolve and be absorbed during such a relatively short time inside. Actually selling something like this would constitute Manslaughter.
Posted by Locke  on  Wed Dec 19, 2007  at  07:51 AM
My sister is a Disney princess...and they often share stories of things little kids have said or done to them...One little girl asked a Cinderella if she poops. Cinderella says, "Yep, and it's blue & sparkly...now smile for your picture!"
Posted by Maegan  on  Wed Dec 19, 2007  at  08:19 AM
Locke, gold is non-toxic and causes no problems when ingested as gold flake (I would imagine nuggets would cause their own problems, much like eating any rock). That's why it's put into alcohol - it's cheap, completely safe, and pretty.

And I swear this isn't new. I feel like I've read about this exact same thing before. I know people have taken often gold for it's 'beneficial properties', but the sparkly shit reason is just so familiar.
Posted by Charybdis  on  Wed Dec 19, 2007  at  08:32 AM
Hmm, look up varak (vark, varaq, ect). It's usually silver leaf (which does cause non-life threatening issues if ingested in large amounts), but it also seems to cover gold leaf for culinary use.

Posted by Charybdis  on  Wed Dec 19, 2007  at  08:51 AM
The Survivor show I want to see is Survivor: Turkish Prison. You apply for the show by being caught trying to smuggle heroin in to the country. Every week, the audience votes someone in front of the firing squad. The winner gets to serve his life sentence without parole.

You *know* they'd have people applying.
Posted by Terry Austin  on  Wed Dec 19, 2007  at  09:54 AM
I've seen chefs on Iron Chef America use gold leaf on fancy-schmancy dishes. Somehow I doubt that they'd do that if if were poisonous -- otherwise it would be hard to get the judges to come back for another show.

Of course there are lots of things that are beneficial or harmless when ingested in small amounts but that shouldn't be consumed in large amounts, so perhaps gold is one of these. But the comparison of gold to lead and mercury is not a valid one.
Posted by Kathleen  on  Wed Dec 19, 2007  at  02:25 PM
That "most expensive dessert" thing...has gold in it.
Posted by Maegan  on  Wed Dec 19, 2007  at  08:47 PM
Oh...plus I think gold is a "precious" metal. Not heavy.
Posted by Maegan  on  Wed Dec 19, 2007  at  08:47 PM
I guess everyone has heard about the hippos and the sparkly shit in the zoo
Posted by Nona  on  Thu Dec 20, 2007  at  06:21 AM
Heh. Tales of woe are nothing new in Survivor.. You'll recall tha tone guy developed a reputation as an outright bastard when he lied about his beloved grandmother dying.
Posted by Robin Bobcat  on  Thu Dec 20, 2007  at  06:01 PM
Having placed gold on historic buildings all over the US I can attest to the safety of gold. It is non-reactive which is why it does not tarnish. What got me was the price. There can't be more than $3 worth of gold plus the labor to put them in the capsules. I have $2000 worth of gold in my shop and could turn it into $15,000 even with overnight shipping!
Posted by gilding George  on  Fri Dec 21, 2007  at  05:42 AM
I think you've just found your new source of income, George. Stuffing tiny pieces of gold into empty pill capsules has to be easier and safer than climbing on scaffolding.
Posted by Cranky Media Guy  on  Sun Dec 23, 2007  at  01:11 AM
Thre is a Polish Vodka, call Goldvasser (I think) with flecks of gold. Tastee!! Did not she the gold flecks come back out though. But,Burger King Cherry Coke did turn my stool blue-green.
That was hard to miss.
Posted by wdl  on  Thu Dec 27, 2007  at  01:21 PM
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