Museum Entry Tickets

Here's a curious email I just received:

Hallo! My name is Wojciech Krajewski. I come from Poland. I'm collecting museum entry tickets. I would be very happy if I have got in my collection ticket from Yours. I hope that my favour won't be a problem for You and that you won't leave it without answer. I give my regards to you and thank you very much.

I'd really like to help this guy out. But what should I send him?


Posted on Fri Aug 12, 2005


I say give him a ticket to the XXX Super Bowl
Posted by Yaanu  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  09:10 AM
Send an empty envelope and inform him it's an 'air ticket'.
Posted by aw  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  09:21 AM
I live in the Butcher's Hill area of Baltimore, Md. According to our neighborhood website webmaster, he gets queries from students wanting to know about butchering meat.

Maybe you could comment to him here; then he could print it for his keepsake.
Posted by Tracey  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  09:33 AM
In the true spirit of the site, go to an office supply store and get some printer card stock, then print a fake ticket. With a big "ADMIT ONE" in the middle and thumbnail pictures around it. And a serial number on one end. And, just for effect, tear off one edge, to make it look like a used ticket.
Posted by WileECoyote  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  09:41 AM
lol, seems like a nice enough guy though.

maybe you could mock one up in photoshop and e-mail it to him?

i could make some for you if you wanted.
Posted by Chuck  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  09:42 AM
Alex.....Maybe you should get some cheap little tickets printed up...I'd like to have one....
Posted by X  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  09:44 AM
Alex: In many of my old DC comic books, there was a free admission ticket to the now-demolished Palisades Amusement was endorsed by Superman, and also allowed access to such great rides as the Crazy Crystals, which was a mirrored maze...I'll e-mail you one, if I can get my scanner working way I'm sending you the real thing...I'm crazy, but I'm not stupid
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  10:22 AM
Aaagh, two weeks ago we threw out a bunch of blank tickets at work! They had sat in the shop for over a year and we figured no one would ever use them.

I work for a letterpress printing shop (old presses which usually today are only used for 'crash numbering' tickets; but we print fancy wedding invitations on them)

Museum of Hoaxes tickets would be great.
Posted by Katey  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  11:06 AM
Send him a fake ticket.
Posted by Beasjt  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  11:52 AM
Didn't you decide on a "building" for the Museum of Hoaxes a few months ago? I suggest printing a nice ticket with the building on it and have the price of admission 1 waffle.
Posted by Floormaster Squeeze  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  11:53 AM
One waffle. I like that. 😊
Posted by The Curator  in  San Diego  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  12:09 PM
just make sure the waffle has the face of Jesus or the Virgin Mary on it. And syrup. A little butter, too... hell, send Me the waffle. Now I'm hungry
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  12:19 PM
Posted by Splarka  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  01:29 PM
Hmm, I hate to be the killjoy here, but why not just tell him that the Museum Of Hoaxes is a website and the only ticket he needs is the url: ?
(Or just tell him that you use jackalopes for tickets?) 😉
Posted by Captain DaFt  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  01:46 PM
send him NOTHING, for the ticket.
Posted by Tom  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  01:52 PM
Splarka, the ticket is brilliant. I think I'll get some made up like that and use them as business cards.
Posted by The Curator  in  San Diego  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  03:56 PM
wow it really is beautiful
Posted by RAMONESxMANIA  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  04:11 PM
send him a laugh track.
Posted by #1 Fan  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  04:15 PM
I think he meant I Waffle (pronoun, not number), not one waffle.
Posted by #1 Fan  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  04:17 PM
Heh, glad you like it, and feel free to use it as you wish!... but a tiny gif doesn't lend itself well to printing (sadly). That was the largest image I could find of an "Admit One" generic ticket (with all of 5 minutes on GIS)

What you might do though is have some professionally printed up:
That'd be nifty, you could include one in copies of future books you publish, and sell them online (with a t-shirt or something).
Posted by Splarka  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  05:21 PM
#1 Quoth unto ye:

"I think he meant I Waffle (pronoun, not number), not one waffle."

Hmm, maybe he meant "I, Waffle" (see Asimov). Of course, Alan Parsons would get in on that:

Or, maybe he meant a future Mac peripheral.. the iWAFFLE. A firewire waffle iron?
Posted by Splarka  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  05:38 PM
Like the "I, Waffle", response, but it was a flippant, 'admission - one waffle'. Why don't you send him a picture of the building you chose, as F.S. said, and mail him a frozen waffle? Tell him it's the price of admission if he gets there. Of course, he'd have to pay his own air fare, etc. Then send him the address to your house.
Posted by stork in the absence of counting  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  06:44 PM
That way, if you see a really confused guy standing next to a taxi outside your house at 2AM in about 2 months, you'll know who it is.
Posted by stork in the absence of diplomacy  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  06:52 PM

I thought the Museum of Hoaxes only used retinal scanners now.
Posted by Chris Carlisle  on  Fri Aug 12, 2005  at  08:26 PM
what should I say? at least thanks for not telling
Posted by Stan  on  Sat Aug 13, 2005  at  12:00 AM
Tell him the museum itself is a hoax. Then eat a waffle.
Posted by Silentz  on  Sat Aug 13, 2005  at  01:26 AM
send him a tick... or a tic, facial, nervous or otherwise... just don't send him a facial tick...that would be gross...or a nervous facial tick...that's even grosser...I'm sorry, I need a waffle...a syrupy, nervous, facial waffle...that's the ticket
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Sat Aug 13, 2005  at  07:50 AM
To change the subject to the request itself:

If you collect tickets to museums, wouldn't the point be to collect tickets to museums that you've actually been to? It's no fun collecting these if you haven't seen it! Like people who collect golf balls, they only collect them for courses that they've actually played. Then again, I guess he has "been" to the Museum of Hoaxes, so perhaps my point is moot.
Posted by Chris B  on  Sat Aug 13, 2005  at  09:34 AM
my point is moot, too, but I've been exercising, so maybe it'll be less mooty and more pointy
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Sat Aug 13, 2005  at  10:14 AM
I have a boring hobby sorta related to this thread...when I go see a film at a theater, actually, I should say THE theater, because there's only one movie theater in my entire county of 40,000 residents, not that they all go at once, which would suck cuz then I couldn't put my feet up or fart during the film, I save my ticket stub in my wallet until the film comes out on video, and then insert the ticket stub into the video box with the film if I buy it... I said it was boring, but I guess that's a mooty point...sorry
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Sat Aug 13, 2005  at  10:22 AM
What does that have to do with waffles Harry?
Posted by Silentz  on  Sat Aug 13, 2005  at  01:36 PM
Send him an AOL disk
Posted by Michael  on  Sat Aug 13, 2005  at  01:59 PM
umm...You'd have to ask Floormeister Squeeze what the waffle connection is (page one)...I just like waffles...I almost like word as much as the food...I could walk around all day saying WaffleWaffleWaffle, but then I'd get hungry and I'd want Wi- I mean waffles...whew, that was close
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Sat Aug 13, 2005  at  02:27 PM
ignore the guy--he has probably sent hundreds of these requests anyway. And do not invite the guy to come---he just might, with his 20 cousins who live nearby! This is really not worth the cost of a ticket, no matter how fake! Any response will have thousands of his countrymen writing for their ticket!!!
Posted by scrooge  on  Sat Aug 13, 2005  at  02:31 PM
Oh, relax, scrooge, it's just a jokey thread. Speaking of not so funny, how about sending a complete Belgian waffle in plastic, with fresh strawberries and whipped cream? Have him bring *that* back across the Atlantic.
Posted by stork in the absense of confinement  on  Sat Aug 13, 2005  at  05:52 PM
send him a hoax ticket!! heh...
Posted by jhunkee  on  Sun Aug 14, 2005  at  11:57 AM
I still think an AOL 9.0 disk with 1175 hours admittance for 60 days should allow him to see the whole museum.
Posted by Michael  on  Sun Aug 14, 2005  at  06:32 PM
oh stork, you just are not funny. Put on that jokey thinking cap and try again.
Posted by scrooge  on  Sun Aug 14, 2005  at  07:14 PM
i thought there was a museum of hoxes....
Posted by Nightmare  on  Mon Aug 15, 2005  at  06:09 AM
Stick a stub in Hairy's box
Posted by booch  on  Mon Aug 15, 2005  at  09:22 AM
hey, hey, hey... nobody sticks their stub in my box without taking me to the movies first... sheesh... da noive (Tish- that's French)
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Mon Aug 15, 2005  at  10:48 AM
Man, Hairy, do you ever need to get a new hobby!!
You're giving the old saying "You've got to get out more" a whole new poignance.
Posted by Big Gary in Dallas  on  Mon Aug 15, 2005  at  04:46 PM
Send him tickets to the 1994 World Series.
Posted by Rich Uncle Skeleton  on  Mon Aug 15, 2005  at  07:59 PM
hey, hey, hey... I never said that was my Only Hobby, just as I doubt that this Polish Gentlement limits his interests to collecting Museum Entry Tickets...I said "A" hobby of mine, not "the only" hobby of mine... you gotta read the fine print, Big Gary, which, BTW is a hobby of're right tho, I do need to get out more...the ankle bracelet comes off in a few months, the straight jacket next Summer...look out, world, here I come
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Tue Aug 16, 2005  at  02:18 PM
Who but a burnt out pimp wants a used up tic...go home and don't back!
Posted by choco  on  Tue Aug 30, 2005  at  11:54 PM
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