Michael Jackson Dies… For Real

It appears that Michael Jackson has died, which is only worth mentioning here because in addition to being the "King of Pop," he was also the King of the fake death rumor. Even The Onion satirically predicted his death back in 2005. But this time, it seems to be for real.

Now the "he faked his death" rumors can start.

Celebrities Death

Posted on Thu Jun 25, 2009


I think he never had all that plastic surgery. Because he was having it when he was fairly young (subtly, at the time). So we don't really know what an adult Black Jackson looks like. We've never seen him as an adult without surgery (and without being white as the side of a house).

My theory is that he's been planning this for years: wearing make-up and prosthetics to look like he's had massive amounts of surgery, so that one day, just before his big comeback gig, he can fake his own death and continue to live without the makeup. He'd be totally unrecogniseable.

Kind of similar to how Groucho Marx used to be able to evade fans because they only knew him with the painted on moustache. Just taking that principle to a higher level.
Posted by Renquist  on  Thu Jun 25, 2009  at  09:28 PM
@Renquist in Glasgow: that was Chaplin but I agree just the same.
Posted by Sam  on  Thu Jun 25, 2009  at  10:28 PM
The Los Angeles Times reports that Michael Jackson was rushed to UCLA Medical Center Thursday afternoon. Los Angeles Fire Department Capt. Steve Ruda told the newspaper that Jackson was not breathing when paramedics arrived at his home and they had to perform CPR.
Posted by Nancy  on  Thu Jun 25, 2009  at  10:38 PM
@Sam- Groucho did it too. Although I'm sure Chaplin did it also. It was probably a well-used vaudeville trick.
Posted by Renquist  on  Fri Jun 26, 2009  at  02:06 PM
I agree, when someone breaks into his grave X so many years from now, there won't be a corpse. Just a body suit.

And he turns up somewhere in the Bahamas
Posted by Luke  on  Sat Jun 27, 2009  at  07:16 AM
Well, if we're going to start rumors, how about...

The preliminary results of the autopsy proved that the body was not Micheal Jackson, but Andy Kaufman!
Posted by Captain DaFt  on  Sun Jun 28, 2009  at  05:31 PM
Micheal Jackson died last Thursday? For real? Why didn't I see that on the news anywhere? dag
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Mon Jun 29, 2009  at  10:29 AM
We'll probably find out the truth (about the real Micheal Jackson) in about 25-50 years time!
Posted by Kwame Welsh  on  Tue Jun 30, 2009  at  01:49 PM
Michael joseph Jackson, was a true talent. People put him through hell, Beacause of money people didn't care about his feeling anymore, all they wanted was money. He grew up on stage, and he never got to have a REAl childhood, thats why he loved kids so much, and kids loved him. He was misunderstood in my eyes, people are so rude. People say "Oh, thats just crap, he dosnt hace any kind of skin deasise" you dont know that. People think hes weird for getting his nose done, well who hasnt gotten there nose done in hollywood? Nobody make fun of anyone else. people make fun of him because he turned white, well what if someone white sat out in the sun, and became dark? would you make fun of them? Nope. Michael jackson was talented, smart, and wanted something better for the world. but nobody would let him, they thought he was to weird, he was humiliated, and even though people turned theiir back on him, he NEVER tuned his back, I LOVE MICHAEL JACKSON, R.I.P king of pop.
Posted by kayla  on  Wed Jul 01, 2009  at  11:35 PM
Kayla, he was a child-molesting, overpaid asshole with a Peter Pna fetish and mntal problems.

The world is a better place without him.

Get over it, and work on losing some weight.
Posted by D F Stuckey  on  Tue Aug 11, 2009  at  12:35 AM
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