Marry Your Pet

Do you really, really love your pet? Then why not marry him or her? Go to, and you can make it happen. Of course, the marriage isn't recognized by a court of law, which makes it somewhat of a hoax, but they really will sell you a marriage certificate, an 'I married my pet' T-shirt, or a wall plaque. They're all incredibly overpriced. If they offered the certificate for $5 instead of $20, they probably would do more business. They're trying to sell the wall plaque for $200. Ouch! Who in their right mind would shell out that much for a gag gift?

Animals Sex/Romance

Posted on Sun Oct 19, 2003


How dare you critises people that absolutely adore there best mate (pet)! Some people like me get upset because i would absolutely LOVE to marry my beatiful puppy girl Misty and im going to do it-its our decisions not yours and its also not your place to judge it iether so i think you should reconsider what you have written 😡
Posted by Tash  on  Wed Apr 26, 2006  at  06:56 PM
Who can deny this basic human right? Surely not Libertarians, egalitarians or marriage-rights supporters generally. From an historical/legal point of view, in which the direction of human rights is one of inevitable expantion rather than contraction, champions of bestial marriage will easily sweep aside the narrow arguments of tradition-bound marriage bigots as we march confidently and joyfully into a braver New World than we have ever known.

In this season of giving, give the gift that will change your life and the life of your furry beloved: marry your pet! (gag.)
Posted by steve mullany  on  Sun Dec 20, 2009  at  10:29 AM
I find this totally weird. And totally creepy. And I'm pretty sure animals can't say 'I do'.

Do you guys have sex with your animals or something? "It's okay, we're married!" Wtf.
Posted by Chelsea  on  Sun Aug 08, 2010  at  08:28 AM
And it is exactly because your pet cannot say "I do" that marriage with your pet can have no legal standing. The true object of my lampoon is, of course, Gay Marriage, which, because it occurs between consenting adults, can have legal standing if the law permits it.

There is no limit to the ways humans can either exalt or degrade themselves if there is a will to do it. As Hamlet noted: "What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals." The Human capacity for self-delusion and denial are also virtually without limits.
Posted by Steve mullany  on  Sun Aug 08, 2010  at  10:29 PM
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