Garden Gnome Liberation Front

A few months ago as a joke I sent my sis in law a letter "from" the GGLF telling her to free the gnomes in her garden. The same day I sent a letter addressed to her gnome telling it to Arise, and throw off the shackles. 😊
I'm not sure she ever realised it was me, as she never mentioned it, and I've forgotten to ever ask her about it.

Sorta sounds like "SPEW" from Harry Potter. When she's trying to free all the house elves from enslavement.

I just remembered! Then Ron or someone makes a joke about the "House Elf Liberation Front"

IIRC, GGLF predated the Harry Potter version. I didn't even think of the similarity, can you believe that? Guess it wasn't that important to me. 😉

I still have my mom's neighbor's "garden rock" in my back yard, waiting for the snow to be gone enough to return it and shock her. She noticed it missing about 5 months ago, when the snow started getting really bad. She blamed it on teenagers, of course. She just didn't know how old THIS teenager was.

I had planned to take it to Alberta when I went in January, just so I could take pictures of me and it when I was there and leave them on her step with the rock, but I forgot the damned thing until I was too far from home to bother turning around. Kinda ruined my own joke. But she'll still be surprised to see it, she's already replaced it.

Seriously. Want a picture?

Just tell her the Gnome was tired of freezing stuff off standing out there in the snow and decided to head to Florida for the winter.

Seriously Elf and Gnome liberation predates "Harry Potter" by so much that Rowling probably borrowed the idea from real life.

Best quote involving garden gnomes, John Cleese from Fawlty Towers -> "I'm... going... to insert this gnome in Mr. O'Reilley!" exclamed to Sylvia whilst waving it around rather suggestively after having to deal with a really bad contractor fiasco.

"O, 'twould be sweetness of breath, were I to shed these shackles of shame." Free the Gnomes!

But then Evan said, "No! Now we know who the enemy is. They rise from sentry slavery but too quickly. Death to the garden gnomes! Smash them all!" He felt better after a hot toddy.

There was a giant garden gnome about 100 feet tall outside a restaurant, 1/2 a block from the ocean in Rehobeth Beach, Delaware. Some years back, a great storm surge came in, and washed the Gnome Man back out into the sea, about 500 feet onto a sand bar. He sits there now, surrounded by water. I guess you could say: "Gnome Man is an island"... but you don't have to, no matter what Rod says. Save the whales

And speaking of bad wordplay...

The one at the bottom...

Sorry, Hairy, but where? Spent part of two of the last three summers at Rehoboth Beach. Walked the whole boards and most beach; visited Bethany Beach and Lewes, drove down the peninsula and bridge to Maryland, and took the Cape May-Lewes Ferry twice. Nope, no sign of a 100-foot garden gnome, nor even part. GPS coordinates would be most helpful. Or is this a 'seaside-urban legend?'

walk down to Grotto Pizza, order some fries cooked in that peanut oil, squirt a little vinegar and salt on them, face East, and look to the horizon. There you will see, Gnome man is an island

Okay, Hairy, I think I know the place. But the fragment sticking out of the sea is so skinny, that it just looks like a ruined pier pylon. Although, there are no other pylons sticking up, there, which makes it seem unusual. I think the salt water waves, storms, ice, etc., have done their damage quickly, if that it the right place. What is seen there, now, could be a wrought iron or steel frame still coated with a little concrete. I hope I got the right place. Thanks for the input.

y'now... The more I think of it, I think it was a block or two North up by the Dolles Salt Water taffy joint. My bad.

Unless they moved it down to the old bridge you fish off of at the India River Inlet... no- wait, that's a really big pink flamingo... it's been a while

The Pink Flamingoes will get you every time - especially if go miniature golfing. But then Evan said, after a warm bath, "Today will see the end for the Gnome uprising. We ahall smash their abodes, and render their habilitation meaningless". If only he had known the strength of the guardian Gnomes. Then his terrible demise would not have been legend. So it is.

What it is

What it was

What it will be

It'll be Gnome more of that, I guess...

Guessed wrong - the Gnome uprising was short-lived, and Evan got the worst. The Guardian Gnomes killed him with the crushing; but then seemed to have little further object. Oh, the walled cities they could have taken! And bounty and booty for many, for sure. But, alas, the Gnomes lacked a strong leader, and the rebellion was quelled by the Shades. And, would fair Katrina have quelled their passions? No, but she got her due. Just look out for the mushroom on the left.

Ha! I wonder if Roosevelt E. Roosevelt reads this...

😜

"Is it too early to be this loud? TOO LATE!" - Adrian Cronauer

Then the Prelates said, "Our only hope is with Katrina. Let's set up the moat and the battle plans at her will." Unfortunately, Gnome spies had infiltrated the seagull clan, and sand-castle remnants began arising from the dunes. "Let us acquire the Cat-tail gangs, said General Julio, and send emissary missions to the shellfish!" Therewith, the Walrus club and the Carpenter union went forth, again, but not for the proceeds, this time. Meanwhile, Katrina sat grooming her lizards.

And if you want me to believe your Rehobeth Beach Gnome lie - then just follow my tale.

This reminds me of a short story I once wrote called "The Call of the Rutabegas", about veggie uprisings and the evil Rutabegas.

I think Stork's been associating with Hairy too much.

It's beginning to not remind me of a story my mum wrote about cabbages & kings. Mmmmm...lettuce...

Alas, as most investigations seem to end, there is no existing evidence of the "100-foot" tall Rehobeth Beach Gnome remaining. Indeed, there was a 25-30 foot Gnome adjacent to the boardwalk a few years ago, apparently in conjunction with a miniature golf course. But if it wasn't taken down by the owners or the city, and was, indeed, washed out to sea, then it would easily have been totally destroyed within weeks. Of course, the Prelates are still watching.

Winona, I would *love* to hear about the Rutabega uprising. Large vegetables scare me. And Smerk, I don't think your mother wrote 'The Walrus and the Carpenter'. It's a bit older than that. Perhaps, as my mother and grandmother did, she read it to you as a child. The Prelates are still watching.

I know my mum didn't write Walrus & Carpenter. I'm saying she wrote a short story called Cabbages & Kings. Moral of that story, try crop rotation and you won't get sick of cabbage.

I had a rather deprived childhood. I don't recall my mum reading me stories. I do recall acting out disney books on tape...I learnt to read pretty fast anyway, so I was reading "Alice" myself when I was five or six.

I posted it up on the web. Keep in mind that this was never ever edited, and it was just a silly thing that I popped out in less than five minutes. So, don't expect it to be very good.
It is at:
http://www.geocities.com/erikholsen/rutabega.html

Do tell, Smerk, it sounds interesting; unlike most of the jabberwockie posted here. By the way - Alex is #1. But Julio retired, and the oyster beds went back to sleep. No justification for Katrina, though; she still plots.

Basic story - two neighbouring kingdoms, one grows cabbages, the other lettuce. King in the cabbage kingdom is bored with cabbage for evey meal. Meets with neighbouring lettuce kingdom, agree to trade seeds. King in cabbage kingdom now has lettuce to moan over. End story. I think mum had it published in her school paper, her teachers thought it was that good.

Are the prelates still watching?

Winona, your rutabega story is chilling! 🐛

Winona, Yeah, like you said, quick. I might have left out the 5349 dead college students, but hey, your story is a RIOT! And, as we all know, the evil rutabegas continue to march ahead; joined, alas, by the Hickory Farms Preserved Cheese cavalry, recently. God save us, all. But then Evan said, 'Wait, he's dead!'

Every once in a while I pop out those useless little things that I never look at again. Guess it gives me a break from the more serious stuff. That one was done at the end of an all nighter (and it shows). Dunno why I even keep this stuff, but I just liked this one because of my friend's fondness for rutabega. UGH! 😛

I loved that story. Really, I thought it was quite good. (Not that an internet opinion really matters, but, well, you know...)

Reminiscent of Stephen King, with the detached horror and all. I'm thinking particularly of his story (in Night Shift?) of the guy who had the Venus eyes pop up on his body. He was horrified, but the story was straight ahead, and presented his personal horror with very little emotion.

I also remember my baby sister hearing someone on the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon exclaim "Rutabagas!". For years she used it as her own little swear word, but NEVER in front of my parents, even though she knew it wasn't a bad thing to say.

My only question is: why is it on the website of "erikholsen"?

I'm a man, baby. 😉 Now you know my secret identity.

Nah, just kidding. I borrowed hubby's undeveloped website. I used to work for a website and got my fill so I avoid having my own now because I got way too sick of doing any real html. (Mind you my skills are waaaaay out of date now.)

Cute story about your sister! I love the way kids use those things. My son is in a "Oh, Bugger" stage right now. Good things he's a 'merican, he could really offend people otherwise.

Thanks by the way!

Alas, the first emissary chosen was a 100-foot Gnome that rode the waves to quicken the oysters, but tiring of their apathy, supplanted himself beyond the surf. Katrina rose from her lethargy and called out,"W'ist not to smite the heathen's tongue, but clap his ears soundly!" The startlingly somber mood of the group was broken, tho, by the stableboy's announcement that the chickens were loose. More tales of the coven could be told, but Carissa said "No." I must obey.

It is not fair to make Gnomes into slaves. If you have made a gnome into a slave you should set it free and send it to rehabilitation. The legal form to set your Gnome free is at a website called http://www.geocities.com/gnome_reserve. They have a bunch of Freed Gnomes and a Gnome Underground Railroad and they give counseling to Freed Gnomes.

We, the Lakeview Terrace Garden Gnome Liberation Front, had a float recently in the Burlington, Vermont, USA, Mardi Gras Parade. We are vying for the People's Choice Award, and we could use more votes of support. Please visit:

http://www.magichat.net/mardigras2007/pics/index.php

to see more info about the parade and our float.

Free the Gnomes!