Business opportunities I have squandered

When someone wants to rent a midget, I'm apparently the first person they contact. I say this because I receive A LOT of email inquiries from people wanting to rent midgets, such as this one I got yesterday:

do you know any midget strippers that would do a wake up at a bachelor party

or this one from a few weeks ago:

Do you know if I could get 2 male midgets at my Lounge for a party this Friday Jan 25th in Chicago IL.  I would appreciate a response.

It's my fault. I posted about a rent-a-midget service years ago, and ever since then the emails from people seeking midgets to rent have continued to trickle in, usually at the rate of about one a month.

I also receive many inquiries from people who want to buy tapeworms for the purpose of dieting, who want to know if I sell marzipan babies, who are looking to buy a fake sun roof, or who want to join the Nigerian navy.

I'm really missing out on good business opportunities by not offering these services.

Once upon a time I was receiving emails almost daily from people seeking fake doctor notes, but no longer. Apparently someone has usurped my position as the preferred source of information about this product.

Business/Finance Miscellaneous

Posted on Mon Feb 25, 2008


Yeah, and you think this will *STOP* it?!? All you did was *BUMP* the idea higher in the chronological search index!

Prepare for the flood of midget requests! :lol:
Posted by Corwin, The Master Physicist  on  Mon Feb 25, 2008  at  11:35 AM
And requests for fake doctor's notes.
Posted by David B.  on  Mon Feb 25, 2008  at  12:09 PM
Please could you rent me a midget who is good at gardening? 😉
Posted by Madmouse  on  Mon Feb 25, 2008  at  12:38 PM
Don't forget about Free Fortune Telling. Granted it's free, but I'm sure you could work some service charges and restocking fees in there somewhere.
Posted by Charybdis  on  Mon Feb 25, 2008  at  02:07 PM
Hello Mr Alex,

I am, Dr Vladimir Kutcenko. I from country in Eastern Europe. You looking for the dwarf miget people? I deliver the dawrf miget people from Russia, Romania. You interested, you contact Vladimir, okay? Please have the credit kard number, okay?

Posted by Dr Vladimir Kutchenko  on  Mon Feb 25, 2008  at  02:52 PM
How about a Nigerian Bulldon Verification Service, Alex? Given the number of posts in that thread, you could make a fortune just saying that the ad is a fake.
Posted by Christopher Cole  on  Mon Feb 25, 2008  at  04:45 PM
Can I please have a fake doctor's note, issued by a midget, with his own fake sunroof? I need a few days off to go to Nigeria to collect to this prince's money.
Posted by Nona  on  Wed Feb 27, 2008  at  05:44 AM
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