Bride Audit

image Here's a service that allows brides to make sure their guests give gifts that are of a high enough value:

Answer a few simple questions and we'll analyze the assets of your guests, decide their appropriate level of giving, and provide you with invoices that you can include in your invitations. It's not rude, it's helpful!

Unfortunately it's one of those joke sites that feel compelled to print a disclaimer ("this site is a parody. if you actually think this a good idea, there is something wrong with your priorities.") I often wonder why sites do this. I guess enough people actually fail to recognize when things are a joke to make it necessary.

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Posted on Wed Jun 01, 2005


I used to work as a photographer taking photos of people in Reception Houses. So I'd see a lot of Wedding Parties. I hate to say it but there are people out there who do think like that. Maybe not to the level of "sending out invoices" but the mentality is still there
Posted by Peter  on  Wed Jun 01, 2005  at  09:16 PM
They have these little mini'kiosks (for lack of a better term) at Walmarts, where you can enter in a bridal registry under your name with choice of patterns and whatnot... I'm currently registered under the monikers: "Joe Mama" and "Jeff Adda"...accessible from any Wally's, if they haven't cleared it... I chose the country duckies pattern, just in case you're buying me anything
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Wed Jun 01, 2005  at  10:07 PM
Well, technically, isn't sending a card with "We're registered at" just like this??? Short of an invoice, thats what those little cards do.
Posted by Maegan  on  Thu Jun 02, 2005  at  10:48 AM
I want the shirt...Shut the #uck up about your wedding.
Posted by Maegan  on  Thu Jun 02, 2005  at  10:49 AM
It reminds me of this article:

Here's the opening: "American couples are meeting the spiralling costs of weddings by asking their friends and guests for money. Crystal, toasters and other gifts are being shunned in favour of a bare-faced appeal for cash. 'We are happy to invite you to our wedding. PS: Please bring your cheque book,' said one invitation..."
Posted by Chadds Ford Prefect  on  Thu Jun 02, 2005  at  12:37 PM
I didn't have the disclaimer on there at first...but then I kept getting emails from easily-offended people, or possibly mental patients (the spelling was usually pretty bad), who didn't get that it was a joke. And I found them tiresome so I put the disclaimer on there. It's very sad, really.
Posted by sara  on  Fri Jun 03, 2005  at  11:45 AM
This is no different in principle from brides and grooms being "registered" with various merchants. Essentially, they're sending demands for gifts to their friends, relatives, and acquaintances.
If you ever see me doing this, please beat me senseless with a toaster.
Posted by Big Gary C in Dallas  on  Fri Jun 03, 2005  at  05:11 PM
I have a nephew who got married to a well established young woman last Summer. No, they weren't tacky enough to ask for money. They each had their own house, fully furnished, equipped well, and paid off. So, instead , they registered with J.C.Penney for a gift selection. We visited the nearby Mall and looked up their registry, with the intent of purchasing a gift. They had selected towels, tableware, etc., that all had the most grotesque 'palm tree' theme we had ever seen. And *way* too pricey for the ugliness thereof. Instead, we stopped by a vendor on the way to the wedding, and bought them a lucite cube on a lighted stand, laser-etched on the inside with a depiction of a bride and groom kissing on a beach - under a palm tree. They *love* it - it's in the center of their coffee table. Best $20 gift I ever bought.
Posted by stork in lieu of all else  on  Fri Jun 03, 2005  at  06:49 PM
" ... and bought them a lucite cube on a lighted stand, laser-etched on the inside with a depiction of a bride and groom kissing on a beach - under a palm tree. They *love* it ..."

For their anniversary, give 'em a painting of a bullfighter on black velvet-- no, a painting on black velvet of an Elvis impersonator fighting a bull, with a hula dancer in the background. :wow:
Posted by Big Gary C in Dallas  on  Sat Jun 04, 2005  at  12:01 PM
Elvis impersonating a matador while playing poker with a dog, a jaguar, and a unicorn with hula dancers ringing the table and a 3D Jesus in the background. On velvet.
Posted by Charybdis  on  Sat Jun 04, 2005  at  02:27 PM
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