image Are your kids out of control, but you don't like the idea of spanking them? Then the BratZapper might be the solution for you. It's the high-tech electrical way to discipline children:

In a society such as ours its no longer appropriate to hit a problem child or spank them with a belt. In these political correct times such disciplinary measures are frowned upon. BRATZAPPER leaves no marks and the slight discomfort felt by the child is over in moments with no after pain. Bratzapper is totally safe and effective and will NEVER harm your child in any way when used as directed.


Posted on Thu May 12, 2005


That's awesome!!! I want one!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Dot  on  Fri May 13, 2005  at  06:34 AM
Shocking! When kids won't betase themselves, they just need a small prod. Invented by Frank Zappa, I'd guess.
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Fri May 13, 2005  at  08:49 AM
"...the slight discomfort felt by the child is over in moments with no after pain." Um, can't you say the same thing about a spanking?
Posted by Brianne  on  Fri May 13, 2005  at  09:04 AM
I've always wanted to adapt one of those "invisible fencing" colars for a child. Can't imagine it would be that hard, but so far the wife wont consent to me experimenting on my son.

Oh well... back to work on my remote control wife zapper
Posted by alteregogi  on  Fri May 13, 2005  at  10:01 AM
They've got the wife zappers, after a fashion, in the remote-controlled sex toy category.

Didja ever notice that the Black Tower from Lord of the Rings movies look a lot like one of these zappers? (The real ones, that is, not this hoax one.)
Posted by tina smith  on  Fri May 13, 2005  at  10:11 AM
They're kidding (I hope) about using this on children, but a similar remote-control dog zapper is in pretty widespread use.
It seems to me it would mostly teach your dog to be scared of you, but the people selling and buying these things aren't asking my opinion.
Posted by Big Gary, pedantic again  on  Fri May 13, 2005  at  04:27 PM
If, like it states... "the slight discomfort felt by the child is over in moments with no after pain." then what's the point???

When I, on the rare occasion, do spank my children... it's not about making sure there's no discomfort or after-effects. In reality it's just the opposite. When I do spank them, I want to make sure they remember it for a long time and feel it for quite some time... otherwise how is the point of your discipline being made?

It's along these lines and these reasons that children are so out of control and do whatever they want these days.

The children are left thinking... "No matter what decision I make here... what's the worst that's going to happen? A couple of seconds of discomfort??? A few minutes in a chair??? BIG DEAL, GO FOR IT MAN!!!"

I say, if the child deserves it, BEAT his ass and make sure they feel it for a long time! But that's just me... and probably why my children refer to adults as "sir" or "maam" and not "YO!" 😉
Posted by Mark-N-Isa  on  Fri May 13, 2005  at  05:24 PM
Que es su problema, Mark? To beat the children is wrong. They are only children, no? Can you not outsmarts them? Hmmm... I think no. You should be ashamed for yourself. Children are God's gift to you, and must be given all the love in your heart. I am crying now for them. If you were here with me now, I would teach you the lesson, and make YOU cry. This I swear.
Posted by Raoul  on  Fri May 13, 2005  at  06:50 PM

Just for you, in honor of your statements...

I am beating them now... for NO reason other than the RRRRaaaooouuullll!!!!

They thank you greatly!

As do I. Your opinions and ramblings have only served to reassert my beliefs in corporal punishment. For when you do not beat the child, you end up with the likes of... well, you!

Posted by Mark-N-Isa  on  Fri May 13, 2005  at  06:57 PM
For this you shall pay, pollito. El mano de Dio shall come to you this noche, this I vow, cabeza de mielda
Posted by Raoul  on  Fri May 13, 2005  at  07:09 PM
Hmmm, typical Republican, solving all his problems with violence. This is why people grow up to be Republican, by the way--because their stupid, overstrict fathers beat them constantly. Kids also learn to respect no TV and video games for a week, and you do realize you control what they eat and wear, right? You want them to regret their bad behavior and learn to respect adults, teaching them it's alright to get their way by hitting people who are smaller than them is a shitty way to do it. Especially when you can send them to school in a pink shirt with a peanut butter sandwhich for lunch every day for a week, and no Gameboy SP.

>>>look a lot like one of these zappers? (The real ones, that is, not this hoax one.)<<<

Don't see what you mean. My stungun looks pretty much just like that one, except for the curvy bit on the left side near the bottom. Are you thinking of a taser?
Posted by Barghest  on  Fri May 13, 2005  at  08:26 PM
this has given me a great idea to actually play with one of the real ones to see if I can tone down the voltage so that I can actually use it on my kids... Until then looks like I will keep using the spike-studded belt and razor-wire. It was all for punishment before, but now I find I just like hitting children.

Hey Raoul, send your kids my way and I will teach them a thing or 2 about misbehaving...
Posted by jimbo  on  Fri May 13, 2005  at  11:37 PM
You can get them with lower voltages as sex toys. (also see the other items in that catagory)

Also, a piezo igniter (used in BBQ and cigarette lighters) produce an 18,000 volt harmless shock, that can kill a small insect. Get some
Posted by Splarka  on  Sat May 14, 2005  at  01:06 AM
How stupid. The entire idea seems to be idiotic and contradictory.

As for the guy who is obsessed with spanking: my parents never did it to me, and I don't refer to anyone as "yo" and I do refer to people as "sir" or "miss". On top of that, they pretty much let me do what I want and develop my own moral values and such. Am I going around the streets causing problems? No. Anyway you contradicted yourself by saying you spank your kids on the rare occasion but your comments seem to suggest they need it a lot.
Posted by Soldant  on  Sat May 14, 2005  at  08:16 AM
Ramonian peoples do not hit the children. We give them much love and respect, and if they are not behaving, we tell them stories of old days. When our children know that we love them, they are behaving. Some times we must pass wind close to them when they eat, and they know we mean business, okay? But no hitting- this just makes the children hit also. They do pass a great lot of wind, though. Rrrraoul
Posted by Raoul  on  Sat May 14, 2005  at  08:31 AM
I prefer tranquilizer darts for the little rascals. More sporting, in my opinion.
Posted by Anonymous  on  Sat May 14, 2005  at  08:47 AM
These Little Rascals of which you speak I like very much. This Spanky, he is too funny. Alfalfa has too much the freckles, and that makes me laugh also. Porky is too funny also, but the Buckwheat needs the haircut, no? This Darla has rolling the eyes at the boys, but I do not think she is so funny. Froggy has the throat cancer, I think. Rrrraoul
Posted by Raoul  on  Sat May 14, 2005  at  08:54 AM
Actually, Raoul, they used to pinch the kids on the Little Rascals to make them cry for the camera, or tell them their Mom was dead, or whatever. Personally, my favorite LR episode was the one in which they opened the nitrous oxide tank at the dentist's office, and everybody in his adjacent home got buzzed to the max. I think they had a mule named Algebra in that one too, but I could be wrong. Blame the Nitrous. BTW, R-Dog... when are you sending me the do-re-mi for those seat covers, you deadbeat?
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Sat May 14, 2005  at  04:04 PM
I gave the money to a man from the Czech Republic, but he was eaten by a Papa Lion. I am too sorry. Rrrraoul
Posted by Raoul  on  Sat May 14, 2005  at  05:31 PM
Do you not comprende the joke, Hairy? I cannot pay you, because: "The Czech is in the male"! Ha ha ha, Madre de dios, Raoul is too funny some times. The Llamas are laughing now. I love the Night Life. Rrrraoul
Posted by Raoul  on  Sat May 14, 2005  at  05:35 PM
We spank Jocelynn. The only thing it doesn't work for, is her turning off the T.V.
Posted by Maegan  on  Sun May 15, 2005  at  06:49 AM
you know what cracks me up the most? I love it when people count to three for their kids...but if the kid doesn't quit what he's doing by "2"...the parent starts over! What are people afraid of? Count to 3, and if the brat doesn't respond...let him know why he'd better get his ass over there before you reach three next time! (for those of you that may not understand, I mean, spank his butt until it's red!)

Oh, and by the way, there is a HUGE difference between "beating" and "spanking" so don't go crying a river for the children that are spanked...I just want to say, "Way to go, Mark! You discipline your children the way you see fit!"

I've said my piece.
Posted by Anon.....  on  Mon May 16, 2005  at  04:06 PM
I agree with the professional opinion that it's only okay to spank kids when it's the only way to get through to them not to do something dangerous.

An example: a five-year-old shouldn't go out in the street without a parent, he might get hit by a car. You can tell that to a five-year-old all day, but no five-year-old really has a functional concept of getting hit by a car and dying. But what they CAN understand is, "If I go out in the street without mommy or daddy, I'll get my butt swatted, and it will be painful and humiliating". Thus, spanking your kid in this situation is much preferable to letting him get hit by a car, because that's one lesson it's too hard to learn firsthand.

And then, of course, if sonny becomes a teenager and actually wants to get physical, you have to slap him down as a matter of self-defense. But in most all other situations, resource restriction and emotional manipulation are preferable.

>>>You can get them with lower voltages as sex toys.<<<

Feh. Lightweights. Probably the same people who buy those furry cuffs instead of using padlocks and bike chains.
Posted by Barghest  on  Wed May 18, 2005  at  01:21 AM
I tried the counting thing with Jocelynn...but she thought we were playing a game. I really did count to 3, then I would get up and flick her hand.

We count to 3 when we play jumping games...Like when she's standing at the top of the steps to the house, 1...2...3...JUMP! So when I counted to make her stop whatever she was doing...she would laugh and jump.
Posted by Maegan  on  Thu May 19, 2005  at  08:17 AM
When I was a kid, which was not so very long ago, my parents spanked me. Not often, and they didn't ever 'beat' me, but it got the point across.
I'm hardly scarred for life. I was a pretty respectful kid to adults, and I never got the idea that it was 'ok' to beat up on people smaller than me. I got the idea that it was very much NOT ok, and that I'd get spanked if I did.
Brilliant, isn't it?
Posted by The Dread Lord Smeagol  on  Tue Jun 28, 2005  at  06:49 PM
well, IM a SKID, and i'm out of school!
You know what, i'm planning to get one to electrecute my parents!
I'll be desciplining them!
Posted by SKID  on  Sat Jul 05, 2008  at  05:22 AM
parents electrecuting their children?
-probably the others!
It's more likely that i myself we'll use that on my parents!
Posted by SKID  on  Sat Jul 05, 2008  at  05:24 AM
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