Status: Bogus (almost definitely)
Altmann tube-o-lator lacquer is a coating-compound that you can rub on semiconductor chips found in devices such as CD-players, DVD-players, Preamplifiers, or Power-Amplifiers. And somehow this coating will change the way those chips process sound. Whereas before the sound was cold and harsh, after rubbing a bit of tube-o-lator lacquer on, the sound is warm and rich. The tube-o-lator website states:
The ALTMANN “TUBE-O-LATOR" lacquer is applied only on the top surface of plastic semiconductor packages of AD-converter-chips, DA-converter-chips, OP-amps and discrete transistors. After application, the overtone spectrum of these active devices changes immediately and permanently. The new sonic signature will be natural, full and tube-like. The ALTMANN “TUBE-O-LATOR" lacquer electromechanically balances the resonance-spectrum of the plastic chip package and semiconductor itself in such a way, that a natural sounding overtone- spectrum of the treated active device will be generated.
Why would rubbing a bit of lacquer on top of a semiconductor chip have any effect on the sound quality? The tube-o-lator people are disarmingly honest. They have no idea:
We are not able to provide an accurate description why the "Tube-o-lator" stuff actually works. Maybe some of you guys out there will solve this mystery and tell us.
Not being an audio engineer, I don't feel qualified to state definitively that this stuff couldn't work. But I can't imagine why it would work. Anyway, it's no longer for sale (demand must have been too high), so it's not possible to get any of this to test it out.
Comments
http://www.ilikejam.dsl.pipex.com/audiophile.htm
As an electrical engineer, I can tell you painting laquer on chips will actually make them sound worse. As chips get hot, they usually have more and more random noise/errors. If you coated them all in in heat disperser, it might make a difference, but laquer will keep them all toasty warm.
Any device that includes the phrase "-u-later" or "-o-later" has to be immediately suspected.
Of course, the improvement in sound quality would still be immeasurable, but we wouldn't be guilty of TOTAL fraud, and besides, most so-called audiophiles don't really care if the improvement is measurable, they "know" that they can hear the difference.
The real satisfaction for these guys comes from spending money on voodoo and beleiving that they really have the ability to distinguish lamp-chord from monster cables..er, I mean "cold and harsh" from "warm and rich".
"Yup, that link seems to cover a lot of weird shit, but they forgot the green felt pens that you were meant to cover your CDs with. I remember watching someone do that years ago, people really did believe."
Yeah, you were supposed to put the green stuff on the edge of a CD to prevent the laser light from "leaking" sideways or something. Someone actually marketed a felt pen with a notch in it for this use.
"If this product worked, it would qualify for the JREF $1,000,000 prize easily. What with audiophile scams being one of Randi's pet peeves."
Yes, I suspect you're correct. I can't imagine that the guys who sell this voodoo would ever apply for the Challenge, though. Why should they risk the great racket they have going?
"To prevent the laser light from leaking sideways? Ooooh, that's almost as good as the DVD-rewinders."
Yup, that was the theory, that light was leaking out of the side of CD's and therefore, in some inexplicable way, screwing up the sound. You put the green ink on the edge of the CD and that "fixed" the "problem." Why it had to be green I don't know.
"Great link, Cranky. I love their slogan: 'Attaching the electrodes of knowledge to the nipples of audiophiles since 1999'."
I didn't even see that. Yeah, that's pretty funny.
It's tru that for most audiophiles, all of this stuff is pure snake oil and a matter of faith. Is it any wonder that you never see measured tests for cable difference etc in any of the audiophile magazines....
We totally have to get on this. Seriously. There has to be *millions* of dollars in this untapped "computerphile" market.
"Have you ever notices there's no such thing as a 'computerphile' market (none that I've seen anyway), you know selling $1000 cables that will increase your data speed/accuracy, or $50 bottles of spray you can apply to your monitor connectors to increase video performance?"
There is, but they don't sell cables and bottles, they sell "gold plated heat sinks" for RAM. And they still think you have to "break in" a processor.
And although the performance of a cable does not always comply with its price, there IS a measurable and noticeable difference between some USB cables.