Unfortunate Last Names

I knew a surgeon by the name of "Doctor Slaughter".

I must add to Mr. Gorman's note.. There was indeed a Speedy Nutz. (Chula Vista is my hometown.) He had a brother named Fuzzy Nutz, also a dentist. They were members of a businessman's association in CV. Members were always glad if one of them spoke at meetings because somtbody would have to introduce them.

In mid-50's, there were two identical twins at Chula Vista High school. Their last name was DITTO.

Have to add a story originally published in Sport Illustrated a few years ago regarding the basketball team at Austin Peay University in Tennessee. (Peay is pronounced like "pea".) During basketball games, their fans' cheer was "Let's Go, Peay!". There was a very good basketball player there named Fly Williams. The Cheer became "Fly is Open. Let's Go, Peay!"

Interesting note:
Comedian/Actor Tim Allen: Allen was originally his middle name. He changed it when he started his stand-up career because he was warned that people would think he was just trying for cheap laughs with his real last name: Dick.

Also, in middle school one of my classmates' names was Ryne Rindflesh.
Evil parents, I tell you. I'm sure they thought they were very clever...

well, after reading all of these names, it turns out that my name can be misconstrude by a dirty mind.

Mandy Fisher (Man dee fissure)..... Cool!!
😊

well, there was the OBGYN in Northmamton MA, Dr. Finger.

in HS my freshman year year homeroom teacher was Andrea Dakin, she was not married (Excuse me, but you must be Ms.Dakin) [hint: it's a long "a"]

my ex's last name is boner. need i say more?

A cardiologist is Groton, Ma is named Dr Hack

My mother claims to have known of someone named Richard Harden. I know a professor who told me about another professor named Dick Dick. Also, I used to go to school with a guy named Richie Rich (though he prefers Rich Rich now)

My elementary school principle's name was Jack Offman. Of course, I didn't understand the significance at the time, but when I got older...

My high school chemistry teacher's last name was Heurtin (pronounced "Hurtin'"). He had two army buddys whose last names were Ill and Payne. This was in Lake Charles, LA

Also a frequent customer at the store I worked at in high school was named Human Clump. I'm not sure if it was spelled with a C or K. It was apparently a typo on his birth certificate, but in 70 years he never changed it.

there is an anesthesiologist in my home town named dr goodnight. i also deliver mail to a dr. johnson wang.

i deliver mail so we see all sorts of "fancy" names. Anita B pleasant, anita hug,wai wong, harry s dong,mr. ho ho. the last resident that i deliver mail to on my routes name is mr. farewell.

This is not surname, but still pretty bad. In Perth, Western Australia, there is a bay called Cockburn Sound. The local residents pronounce it as "Co-burn Sound". I pronounce it as "(loud painful scream)".

Here on Orkney, 'Twatt' is an incredibly common name.

There's also a road called Twatt.

I remember the local paper running a caption competition, featuring someone standing with the Twatt sign pointing directly at them.

I was bullied mercilessly by a guy in my class called Keith Twatt, leading to many exchanges such as :

Keith - hurrr hurr , you suck.
Me - shut up Keith, you're such a twatt !

😉 and after all, he could hardly deny it !

I met an Asian Guy years ago in jail...seems he is always in trouble with the cops-- They ask his name, and he tells them "Phuc Ewe"
His dad was met his mom in the Viet Nam war...his last name was Ewe...and he obviously had a sense of humor!!

I went to high school with Marc Bader (long "a"). We called him Master Bader.

The manager of an apartment building I once lived in was K. LUTZ.

strange but true.... the local conductor of the Johannesburg Symphony Orchestra is one Mr. Dick Cock.

I dealt with a guy from another office whose name is Richard Payne, and yes he did go by Dick. I would have a call transfered to me that would say "Dick Payne, Line 1" I would just say "No Thanks!"

Worked with a guy years ago as a welding inspector--- his name was Dick Head--- not Richard--- Dick.

I was a pilot for several years at an airline with another pilot, Larry Conquest. I always wonder how people felt about flying around with, "Captain Conquest." I sorta imagine he could only be rendered less credulous by showing up for work wear super-hero tights.

😊

hen i was at school there was, and for some reason to this day people still dont believe me when i tell them this, a lad called Mark Hunt.
there was also someone called Alan Hookem, whose dad was called Alf Hookem.

my last name has the initials P.B., which ironicaly I am allergic to peanuts and peanut butter and all products with peanuts. Still, it is better then having the initials P.B.J.

I remember reading an article in wired written by this guy named Charles C.man. Which I found funny that no one actually noticed and sent comments to wired about this guys name. He was writing about Splogs and how his book was mentioned on one.

My last name is Boese and we pronounce it "Bays". I have said all my life that it's being pronounced incorrectly, but no one wants to believe me. Oh, well. I'll marry soon and be able to change my name anyways.

Seymore pussy

My last name is Doolittle so i get a lot of Dr. Dolittle jokes (even though i spell mine differently than the movie). Also, my friends mom knows a woman who's last name is Butts. She named her kids Harry and Mary.

My father was indeed named Speedy Nutz. His name was intended to be Robert but his delivery at birth came quickly, hence the name Speedy. He and his brother Jim were both dentists in the San Diego area but there is no truth to the rumor that there was another brother in the family named Fuzzy.

I had a teacher at school, Mr Slaughter. At another school, Mr. Butcher.
But the "best" name i enountered was when I was part of the team maintaining the electoral record at my local council - Dick Whacker. Again, wouldn't he use Richard?
I have also heard, although this may be just a story, of parents who cursed their son with the name of Hugh G. Rection.

That Dr. Speedy Nutz from Chula Vista is my grandfather. I was named after him. My name is in fact Speedy Nutz.

I knew a girl in middle school whos last name was pronounced Beg-a-vitch. but the teachers would never write it for some reason.

There were football players in the world cup with the names of...
Bossio, Neto, De Harder, Grip, Wolff, Rough, Pardon, Angel, Van Heel, Popov (pop off), Robotti, Perfumo, Titchy, Jelinek (indeed), Chumpitaz, Bats, Springett, Boy, Junior, Costly, Oh, Rats and Gu Sang Bum.

I had a middle school teacher named Harry "Burger", I don't remember the proper spelling of his last name, but it was basically hairy burger.

double phallic name: i used to work with a guy,whos name was peter johnson.

and mr. & mrs.pig named their baby daughter,iona

As for aptonyms, where I used to work, the IT manager was named Matt Hacker. My former boss had two managers named Mr. Spring and Mr. Poole when she was a secretary at the water department.

We have dicussed the name Aaron Scott (S......) last name- which would make the child's initials A.S.S. -

While this has a small chance of provoking teasing during childhood, we both agree that it would be FUNNY to be able to initial things ASS.

When the teacher has students grade one anothers' papers - "pass your paper to your neighbor on the right, and put your initials on the paper you are grading' -- ASS.

When signing a mortgage (many initial spots) ASS ASS ASS ASS. Or a tax return ASS.

We will probably actually do this. We both feel that if it was our initials spelling ASS - we would make it benefit us and have a sense of humor about it.

A neighbor's daughter went to high school with a girl named Asshole` (Pronounced Ash-olay). [What kind of people do that to their own kids?]

OK, here's mine:

I knew a girl who's stepfather's name was Dick Swift.

I had 2 music teachers, Mr. Horne and Mr. Piccolo.

We had a math teacher named Ophelia Dick (TRUE!)

I knew a cardiac surgeon named Dr. Bloodwell.

I knew a PA named M. Butkus.

And, my last name (growing up in NY) was FUCHS (pronounced fewks).

There was a boy in my 3rd grade class named Brent Sweeney.
I guess it was a lot more funny when I was 8.

And there was a couple that I graduated with.. Their names are Kristin Koch (coke) and Matt Bonar (bonner). Haha. I would have never even bothered if I were them.

And then there's my grandmother's name.. Marilyn Carolan.
Most of us Carolan's pronounce it "Care-oh-lin" but my grandma refuses to say anything but "Car-lin". I guess I don't blame her. [:

I know a couple of gotta laugh at people... Sandy Muff out of Vernon BC, Anita Dick out of Manitoba, Spider Mann- my future sons name haha, Justin Uras of Calgary, Unis Aichelle another future child name of family, Collen Gay from Calgary, Jack Horse- reason for this one comes from the saying--- If jack helped you of the horse would you help jack off the horse?, Ken Moore I don't know where you live!, Richard Begone, and Yu Mi Wee Fite who was in a newspaper article.

I've always liked the names:
Mike Oxmall and Mya solebernz.

Mike Million 2-18-2009

When I was in grade 8, I had a science teacher named Ms. Knott
To which everyone on the p.a. would pronounce MISS SNOT

While singing in choir, I've come across a composer named "Richard deLongis."

I'm (somewhat) proud to say that I was the one in the choir who noticed this.

I used to do business with a guy named Dick Blewitt. I think he used Dick instead of Richard just to watch people squirm when he said his name.
I also know not one, but two people named Larry Lawrence! Finally, I grew up with a Brian O'Brien.

;-P these r all hilarious

I remember a Harry Dong running for ILWU president a few years ago.

I hate even doing this because she is a friend...but she got married and goes by the name Ball-Savage. Also...her Dr's name is Dr.Finger.

One of my favorite is my dads Dr. Dr.Balldoc

It is a pity that the guy has such a name.Just like it.

My middle school teacher was named Mr. Weed. Unfortunately his first name was Richard.

In Kindgergarden there was a boy named Dick Hunt. He was a junior and when I was married my husband worked for his father Dick Hunt, Sr. The wife would refer to them as "little Dick" and
"big Dick" and the two respond to their names. Who would name their son that?