Hoax Museum Blog: Urban Legends

Singles Wallpaper — If you live alone, then here's a product to alleviate your loneliness. It's Singles Wallpaper, which is basically life-sized pictures of people that you can stick on your wall, and then you can pretend that they're your friends. Unlike real people, who can be annoying and messy "The single-wallpaper is the complete opposite: it is always friendly and doesn't smoke, it likes watching "Friends" with you for the 100th time without ever complaining, it doesn't leave dirty socks lying around, it never protests against your ideas, and it always looks fresh and attractive ... even when, from time to time, you can't help losing your temper!"

NPR Radio Show — Tomorrow (May 26) I'm going to be a guest on an NPR show, Odyssey, which is broadcast out of Chicago. Not that I'm going all the way to Chicago for the show. I'll be in the NPR studios in San Diego. The topic of the show will be "Falling for Hoaxes": From Piltdown Man to crop circles, history is littered with hoaxes that have grabbed headlines and fooled the public. So why do we keep falling for them? (my answer: because we're idiots!)

The other guest will be a historian from UC Davis, Michael Saler. The two of us will be having a discussion with the host, Gretchen Helfrich, and we'll take questions from callers at the end of the show (from what I understand). I've been getting quite a lot of media attention lately, what with being on the Paula Zahn show a week or two ago. I have the Runaway Bride to thank for it all. Anyway, the show will be on at noon Chicago time, if you want to listen. But not all NPR affiliates carry the show.

Underground Real Estate Agent Kit — A lot of people worry that we may be in the midst of a serious housing bubble. But worry no more. If everyone simply buys a St. Joseph Statue (only $9.95) and buries it beneath their 'for sale' sign when they go to sell their house, they're guaranteed to get full price or more! This is the way to keep the bubble propped up forever. Put the power of miracles to work for you.

Pope Raisin — A raisin that is the spitting image of the current pope is up for sale on eBay:

Yes My Friends, It Is Truly Amazing How This "Unmodified" Raisin Resembles The Pope In Every Way ~ Shape & Form ~ To The Smallest Detail
The Eyes, The Nose, The Ears, The Mouth
It's Like Holding The Pope's Head in Your Hand. But Smaller.

There are four days left to bid, but I think people are hesitant to make an offer because they may not want to interfere with the starting bid of $6.66.

Forget-Me-Not Panties — Here's something for the jealous, paranoid lover: forget-me-not panties. They're panties with a built-in gps device, so you'll always know where the wearer of them is.

This amazing device will answer all of your questions! These panties can give you her location, and even her temperature and heart rate, and she will never even know it's there! Unlike the cumbersome and uncomfortable chastity belts of the past, these panties are 100% cotton, and use cutting-edge technology to help you protect what matters most.

I think the site is one of the entries for the Contagious Media Project.

Light Posting Ahead — I haven't been posting as much to the site lately. That's because the deadline for turning in the manuscript for my next book is fast approaching. It's due in about two weeks, so posting in the near future will probably be even lighter. I'm finding it hard to focus on the book and the site at the same time, so the site temporarily has to go on auto-pilot. But I'm not going to disappear entirely. There will be scattered posts. I just can't promise that they'll appear regularly.

Art Cats — Artists work in all different kinds of mediums. Some work in oil. Others in stone. Dave Powell's medium is cats. He breeds cats and then displays them as art in plastic containers. He tries to breed for mutations such as polydactylism. He seems a little sensitive that people won't think his cat-in-a-box displays qualify as art, but he argues that they are since anything created with 'artistic intent' is art. I actually disagree. I think that art is whatever art critics define as art. In other words, it's up to the audience to decide what qualifies as art, not the artist. But as a cat lover, I'm perfectly to happy to regard cats as art.

Storm Near Bunbury? — Some amazing pictures of a tornado have been doing the rounds. According to the info that accompanies them, these are "Photos of storm near Bunbury" (which is in Australia), although the text also notes that "you'd swear these were taken in america's mid west / tornado belt..." This has started some discussion on alt.folklore.urban, as people try to locate exactly where these photos were taken. The scenery does look a lot like the midwest.

Cave Art: Banksy Strikes Again — The self-proclaimed 'art terrorist' Banksy made headlines back in March for sneaking his own work into various New York art galleries. Now he's done it again. He managed to sneak some faux prehistoric rock art into the British Museum. The rock art depicted a caveman pushing a shopping trolley. It hung in the British Museum for two days before being detected. The British Museum has now loaned the rock art back to Banksy who is displaying it at his own show in London. But they expect to get it back eventually.

Star Wars is Satan’s Tool — I went to see Star Wars last night. I hadn't planned to. The plan was that I wasn't going to see any movies until my book is done, which should be in early June (hopefully). But I was at the mall with my wife, and I noticed it was playing, so I couldn't resist. I talked her into seeing it. It turned out that there was absolutely no line, and no wait of any kind. We bought our tickets one minute before the movie started, walked in, and pretty easily found seats. (and we got a matinee price because it was only 5:30!). I was surprised. I thought it would be more crowded opening night.

But apparently theaters were more crowded up in Hollywood. According to The Talent Show, there were also some protesters up there who were denouncing Star Wars as a Satanic menace. Yeah, it was a joke. These are the folks from ooze.com who for years have had a spoof webpage arguing that the Force is a tool of Satan.

Waiting For Star Wars — Jeff Tweiten has been waiting in line outside the IMAX theatre in Seattle, Washington for FIVE MONTHS to see Star Wars Episode III. Some suspect this must be a publicity stunt, perhaps engineered by the Star Wars publicity department itself. I would agree. I've also noticed a lot of stories on the news about how much money businesses are going to lose on the opening day of Star Wars because of employees cutting work to see the movie. I also suspect that story is being fed to the media by the Star Wars people. (via AdRants)

Woman Swallows Balloon — My guess is that this video clip is real (the banner ads on the site that hosts the movie probably aren't safe for work, but the clip itself is safe). It's the kind of stunt that circus performers, sword swallowers, etc. have done for ages. It's still pretty bizarre to watch, however. I think the clip has been doing the rounds for a couple of years because I vaguely remember seeing it a long time ago.

NBA Draft Prank — Curtis Heroman has decided to toss his hat into the ring to make himself eligible for the NBA draft. The unusual thing about this is that Heroman isn't a particularly good basketball player. He played in high school and competes on Louisiana State University's intramural team. But that's it. So he would seem to be an unlikely candidate for the NBA draft, but as it turns out, anyone can sign up to put their name on the list of eligible draftees. All you need to do is fill out the paperwork. It's just never occurred to anyone in the past to put their name on the list if they weren't a serious candidate. An NBA scout commented that "It sounds like he's playing a joke for his friends."

The Piano Man — In the past few days the 'Piano Man' has been getting a lot of attention. He's a guy who was found "wandering on a windswept road on the Isle of Sheppey". He was dripping wet and very confused. The authorities took him to a hospital where the staff discovered that although the guy refuses to say a word, and they have no idea of his identity, he is an accomplished piano player. He's now been at the hospital for a couple of weeks, during which time he hasn't said a word, but he loves to play the piano. All of this seems very similar to the case of the pianist David Helfgott, who was depicted in the 1996 film Shine starring Geoffrey Rush. The cases seem so similar that some people are suspecting it's some kind of hoax or prank. I really doubt it's a hoax. It sounds like he's been at the hospital long enough that the staff would have seen through it by now if the guy were just putting on an act. (thanks to KJ for forwarding some links about this)
Update: My wife pointed this out to me. Could the Piano Man be a modern-day Princess Caraboo?
Update 2: A Polish mime claims that he knows the Piano Man and says that he's a French street musician named Steven Villa Masson. This has yet to be confirmed.

Florida UFO — Here's another Google satellite map oddity. It's a photo of West Palm Beach, Florida. But look closely. The satellite appears to have captured a UFO flying overhead:


(via Outhouse Rag)

Human-Flavored Tofu — The Dartmouth Online reports on a new business launching soon. It's Hufu, which stands for Human Tofu. This is a "type of tofu that simulates the texture and flavor of human flesh." Hufu (and, by extension, human flesh) apparently "tastes like beef but a little softer in texture and a little sweeter in taste." The article states that the company will:

initially only offer Hufu Classic Strips, which, according to Nuckols [the founder of the company], "will basically resemble the choicer flesh, which is upper arms, thighs and buttocks." Nuckols, however, assures customers that plans have been made to develop Hufu Hearts and Dr. Lector's Liver.

I'm not sure if this is a hoax in the spirit of Manbeef.com, or whether the guy is really planning to sell Hufu. He could basically sell regular tofu and call it human-flavored. Who would know the difference? He does admit that "a larger market will be for the clothing items." (thanks to Iain Cupples for the link)

Black Spider Club, Part II — Last week I linked to The Black Spider Club, which describes itself as "the worlds most exclusive club". Today I've received an email from this exclusive club:

Hello Alex
Can you please remove the 'Black Spider Club' from your website. We are not
a hoax and by listing us on your site, you have made us feature on google.
Thanking you in advance
Regards
Membership

I feel kind of special that they noticed me, them being so exclusive and all. However, I'm not sure how to react to their request. Are they serious? If they are, is there some kind of right to privacy on the internet? You can create a site, but then ask no one to link to it? Anyway, I never said they were a hoax (I just want to clarify that). I don't actually have any idea what they are.

Wendy’s Fingers — Many of you have probably heard by now that police have located the source of the finger that Anna Ayala found in her chili at Wendy's back in March. The finger belonged to "an acquaintance of Ayala's husband" who "lost the finger in an industrial accident in December and provided it to Ayala's husband, Jaime Plascencia." But shockingly, as Captain Platypus reports, another finger has been found in Wendy's food. This time the digit was found in one of those Wendy's Jr. Frostys that they were giving away as a promotional stunt.

The Oil Computer — Markus Leonhardt has come up with an ingenious way to cool his computer. He immerses the entire thing in vegetable oil:

Markus Leonhardt has taken the shortest route possible to liquid cooling.
1. throw motherboard in fish tank
2. cover in vegetable oil
3. there is no step 3
Markus has been using this system for over a year. it is quiet and is cooled by the still functional fans circulating the oil. he has swapped components and even successfully used pulled hardware in other pcs.

This just boggles my mind. Wouldn't immersing your computer in vegetable oil short circuit it, or something like that? I also would have thought it would overload the fan motors. There are color pictures of the Oil Computer here, as well as more description, though most of it is in German. (via Reality Carnival)

BratZapper — Are your kids out of control, but you don't like the idea of spanking them? Then the BratZapper might be the solution for you. It's the high-tech electrical way to discipline children:

In a society such as ours its no longer appropriate to hit a problem child or spank them with a belt. In these political correct times such disciplinary measures are frowned upon. BRATZAPPER leaves no marks and the slight discomfort felt by the child is over in moments with no after pain. Bratzapper is totally safe and effective and will NEVER harm your child in any way when used as directed.