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Raoul
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 07:50 AM
Jesus drives a '65 Rambler Classic. A four-door, with a small-block 8-cylinder engine, foam dice on the rear-view, and a bobble-head Chihuahua on the rear window ledge. This I know, for I have riden many miles beside him, and I helped him install the manual choke linkage, also. No problemo. Rrrraoul |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 07:52 AM
Haaa!!!!!!!!! That damn funny Raul. I guess Jesus wouldn't be Catholic or he would have a little statue of his Mama on the dash. |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 08:01 AM
Jesus drives a 2CV. A pink one |
Maegan
in Tampa, FL - USA
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 08:02 AM
He's a carpenter, so DUH...he drives a work truck. |
Raoul
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 08:06 AM
mmm... this I do not know. I believe Jesus follows the Yaqui Way of Knowledge. The peyote is his sacred mental wafer, and the iguana is his totem. At least, that is what is written on his tattoos. Rrrraoul |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 08:07 AM
I think he would drive a military style Hummer complete with Holy rocket launchers and Blessed is He AK-47 Assualt Rifles. Jesus would not need to worry about gas prices like the rest of us. He would cheat and use "Divine Intervention" to fuel the thing. He would also have a glass etching on the back windshield that would read "Jesus", you know, in a Mexican style writing. |
Maegan
in Tampa, FL - USA
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 08:11 AM
...I bet he could turn water into gasoline. (Or Diesel...do Hummers run on diesel?) |
Raoul
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 08:17 AM
No, it is a '65 Rambler Classic. This I have one time said, and I am very too sure of this. Believe Raoul. This I know to be true. Rrrraoul |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 08:19 AM
Maegan; his foster dad was a carpenter, not Jesus himself. Update your bible knowledge.
I tell you: He drives a pink Citroen 2CV... |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 08:20 AM
With a bumper sticker; "Jesus Loves You" |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 08:21 AM
....and a little cross painted on the right door for every miracle performed... |
Raoul
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 08:22 AM
We are talking of Jesus del Huevos Fritos, no? Or do you speak of El Christo? I am too sorry. What auto He has, I do know know. Mi mal. Rrrraoul |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 08:22 AM
And a bootleg sticker of Calvin peeing on a Star of David. |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 08:23 AM
And Sir Stephen's view is, I regret to say, remarkably similar to George W.'s view of what Jesus would drive.... |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 08:26 AM
My little 3.5 year old nephew, Christian Jesus Manuel, drives a red-yellow-and-blue tricycle with a Mickey Mouse horn... |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 08:27 AM
Not really LaMa....In the bible, Jesus seems to be a Bad Ass. Tough guy type that doesn't take alot of crap. Thats the Jesus I like. |
Raoul
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 08:28 AM
That is too much not true, for Jesus El Christo was of The Hebrews. Who is this Calvin? He, I don't think I like much. I think that the French Citroen is a good auto for El Christo, Sr. LaMa. Not pink, though. It must be the color of sangria, only. Rrrraoul |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 08:30 AM
Raoul, when are you going to become a member????
Also, Do you think Jesus would be required to get a Drivers license???? |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 08:32 AM
Since JC's stay on Earth was only transitory I imagine he drove a rental. Probably drove the hell out of it (he he) and left it a big mess 'cause hey, what's Hertz gonna do, call him back from the dead? |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 08:33 AM
You got a point there. |
Rod
in the land of smarties.
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 09:07 AM
What would Jesus drive?
A donkey.
Take that however you want.
😊
Or, he COULD be driving the updated version, a donkey-bomb.
He could pull up outside the local mosque, say "I'll be right back, guys, just gotta use the bathroom", and leave it tied up out front.
Several would be killed in the ensuing escaping entrail extravaganza.
"Jesus was a terrorist." - Dead Kennedys |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 09:12 AM
WoW Rod.....I would love to see you go public with that....That would be entertaining!!! :ahhh: |
Maegan
in Tampa, FL - USA
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 09:25 AM
...LaMa, Joseph was a carpenter, and back in the day dad's taught their sons (even foster sons) their own trade. Jesus didn't start preaching until he was in his 30s. Was he just a slacker up till then? Living in his parents house, eating their matzoh? |
Maegan
in Tampa, FL - USA
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 09:32 AM
<a href="http://www.ensignmessage.com/archives/carpenter.html">Was Jesus a Carpenter?</a> |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 09:37 AM
I think it is crazy how alot of Christians try to drag Jesus' name in everything....Even when it comes to vehicle purchasing. I belive it is crap like this that gives the religion a bad name. |
Rod
in the land of smarties.
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 09:48 AM
Candles, anyone?
😊 |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 09:55 AM
What are you mumbling about Rod???? |
Maegan
in Tampa, FL - USA
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 10:07 AM
I wonder what Satan would drive. Probably a sport's car. |
Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 10:12 AM
Nope, A Toyota. Any Toyota.
The reason I say this is that I think Toyota drivers typically suck. (No offense to you who do, MOH membership exempts you from the suck rule). The only drivers that compare are old men who wear hats, or old men who forgot their hats so their brains fell out. |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 10:14 AM
Anything he could steal. But Satan would be cool about it. He would get alot of companies to invest in an idea, Then he would start a realestate empire, declare bankruptcy a few times to keep the stuff he has for free, including his Garage with all the exotic cars and stuff. Ooop's, maybe I'm thinking of Donald Trump. |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 10:15 AM
Nope. <a href="http://www.snopes.com/photos/commercials/sportka.asp">Sportka.</a> |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 10:18 AM
Well, I am pretty sure Satan would Drive an Old Muscle Car, like a Camero SS, or a '72 Chevelle SS, Jet Black with Drag Tires and Hood Scoop. |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 10:23 AM
Jesus Drives a Kia!!!!!!! |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 10:25 AM
Satan would also have the Hottest Women too....Party Party Part all the time.....Problem is, when the party is over... 🙄 |
Rod
in the land of smarties.
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 11:04 AM
"What are you mumbling about Rod????" - Stephen
I was mumbling about this...
"I think it is crazy how alot of Christians try to drag Jesus' name in everything..." and its relation to the jesus-candle thread we had a while back. |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 11:08 AM
Jesus Rod! Why do you always have to drag candles into it?
😊 |
Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 11:11 AM
That makes more sense now! |
Rod
in the land of smarties.
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 11:13 AM
I still like the exploding donkey idea. Or maybe a camel?
Would a one-hump (dromedary) camel explode with more force than a two-hump (bactrian) camel? |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 11:23 AM
How long did it take you to look up that terminology, Rod??? |
Maegan
in Tampa, FL - USA
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 11:24 AM
Maybe Jesus would drive a CONVERTable. HAHAHA!!
:lol: |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 11:39 AM
hmmm... 😏 |
Maegan
in Tampa, FL - USA
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 11:49 AM
I'm funny, dammit!
Laugh. :down: |
Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 12:04 PM
Sorry S.... hehe.
Boychild emptied a brand new can of shaving cream into our bathroom. I am taking a break, still covered in the stuff.
As an aside, vinegar cuts the oils in shaving cream quite nicely. (Found this out after I slipped and fell right into a big pile of the stuff.) I have a weird shaving bubble popping sound in my ear as we speak. :-o |
Maegan
in Tampa, FL - USA
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 12:21 PM
That's why you should use the Gel. |
Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 12:34 PM
LOL, it was gel, the men's stuff that turns to foam when it is touched by water. It turned into this blue & white foamy mess. I finally got it cleaned up, boychild showered, me showered. Whew! |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 12:35 PM
So you slipped in shaving cream and then poured vinager on yourself?????? |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 12:36 PM
Oh yeah, you 2 are getting off topic!!!!! |
Maegan
in Tampa, FL - USA
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 12:45 PM
Sounds like fun. I always wanted to play with shaving cream. My gel doesn't foam unless I rub it against my skin.
Hope none of it got swallowed...nasty!
Anyone ever shaved with Jesus in an SUV? |
Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 12:50 PM
Steph: no, slipped on the slick floor & landed in it. Remembered that oil cuts the lard in my cake frosting (I bake bakery style cakes) so figured it might cut the oils in the shaving cream.
Nope, none swallowed, but the kiddo was pretty upset when I gave him a hug and smeared even more in his hair, body etc. 😊 Did get some in my eye though - ouch!
To keep it on topic, I'll have to go buy hubby some new shaving cream now, sicne my own stuff smells "too pretty" so I'll drive in my car & hope Jesus is watching over me from his SUV. |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 01:31 PM
Maegan said: "Hope none of it got swallowed...nasty!"
Hmmmm... :roll:
Do you think Jesus would give people the finger??
Also, lets say Jesus has a since of humor. Picture this. One of those yuppy christians with the "What Would Jesus Do" bumper stickers, driving down the road. Jesus, with a since of humor, is driving behind him. What would you do in Jesus's position? |
Sharruma
in capable of finishing a coherent
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 01:41 PM
I don't know about Jesus
but I know Moses drove a motorbike
For in the bible it states
'And 'lo, the roar of Moses Triumph could be heard throughout Israel' |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 01:47 PM
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 01:51 PM
Dude, Moses couldn't ride a motorcycle. Where would he keep the fifteen commandments and his shepherd's staff? He had to drive a car. And a kick ass little ragtop at that.
<a href="http://www.blondeel.be/tr6_blauw.htm">http://www.blondeel.be/tr6_blauw.htm</a> |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 01:53 PM
According to the bible, Jesus hung around Criminals, prostitutes, and Tax Collectors.
I assume if he were here today, he would be the leader of an underground Christian Mofia or a Gangsta.....
If he were a gangster, and since he didn't kill anyone or rob people, he would be
Vanilla Christ
Riding around in my 5.0 with my ragtop down so my hair can blow, Girlies on standby wav'n just to say hi, Did HE stop?? |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 02:01 PM
Sharruma said "Moses drove a motorbike
For in the bible it states
'And 'lo, the roar of Moses Triumph could be heard throughout Israel'
That is one of the funniest damned things I have heard in a while. |
Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 03:37 PM
Vanilla Christ? Is he related to Vanilla Ice?
"N'Ice N'Ice, baby" |
X
in McKinney, TX
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 03:41 PM
That was the reason for the dumb comment I made, Winona... |
Zyx
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 03:43 PM
Well lets see here. The 12 apostles used a Honda.
"because the apostles were all in one Accord."
God drove Adam and Eve out of Eden in a Fury.
And last of all.
Cor. 4:8 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen Beetle: "We are pressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement." |
Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 03:47 PM
Sorry Steph, got distracted in the middle of your post, didn't finish it before I posted. |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 | 03:54 PM
My gel doesn't foam unless I rub it against my skin. - Maegan
I start to foam when you rub me against your skin... |
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