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Blonde Jokes
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Posted By:
Nettie
in Perth, Western Australia
Apr 23, 2005
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I'm really hopeless at finding things to post about that actually relate to hoaxes but I have heaps of jokes up my sleeve so I may as well be used as comic relief.
What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A brunette with bad breath
A blonde boards a plane and heads straight to first class and sits down. The stewardess comes up and says "Excuse me but you don't actually have a first class ticket so you need to move down to economy." The blonde looks offended. "Just because I am a blonde, it doesn't mean that I am dumb! I think I can read my own ticket! How dare you accuse me o being brainless!" She continues to rant and rave so the stewardess leaves it alone. Another stewardess decides to take a turn. "Excuse me ma'am but you don't have a first class ticket. I'm going to have to ask you to move down to economy." Yet again the blonde gets on the defensive. "How dare you accuse me of being a dumb blonde! I'll have you know that I am a very intelligent woman. I am so offended!" And she goes on and on. A male steward sees what is happening and decides to end it. He walks up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and runs down to economy. Needless to say, the women are impressed. "What on earth did you say to her?" One asks. "Oh, it was simple really" The steward explains. "I just told her that this half of the plane wasn't stopping where she was getting off."
Two blondes are out hiking when they come across a set of tracks. "Oh look, deer tracks" one exclaims. "No, you're mistaken those are moose tracks." They were still arguing about it when the train hit them.
I'll stop there before I offend any blondes. Besides, they're pretty lame...
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Comments
Sharruma
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 | 12:20 PM
A blonde who's fed up with the constant blonde jokes decides to dye her hair brown
Driving along a country road one day she has to stop while a local farmer guides a flock of sheep across the road.
She climbs out of the car whiles she's waiting and gets to talk to the farmer.
'If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I keep one?' She asks.
'Ok,' he replied.
'367,' she says without batting an eye lid.
'That's amazing,' the farmer tells her, 'go ahead and choose your sheep.'
She looks at the sheep for a while and finally chooses what she feels is the cutest of the flock.
She then heads back to her car.
The farmer calls after her, 'if I can tell you you're true hair colour, can I have my dog back?' |
Nettie
in Perth, Western Australia
Member
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 | 07:34 PM
Very Nice, I like that one. |
Aphra
in Ottawa, Canada
Member
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 | 09:29 PM
This guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey! Wanna hear a blonde joke!?" The bartender turns around, looks at him and says "Son, I'm 6'3", 250lbs of pure muscle, and I'm blonde...you sure you wanna tell that joke?"
The guy backs off a bit, turns to his right and says "hey! Wanna hear a blonde joke!?" The guy on his right turns to him and says "I am 6'6", 300lbs of pure muscle, and I'm blonde...you sure you wanna tell that joke?"
The guys back off again, and turns to the next man on his left. "Hey! Wanna hear a blonde joke?" That guy turns around and says "I'm 7 feet tall, 400lbs of pure muscle, and I'm blonde...you sure you wanna tell that joke?"
"So do you still wanna tell that joke, son?" the bartender asks him.
"No," the guy says, "I wouldn't want to have to repeat it three times."
Ba dum dum *ching!* |
Smerk
in to mischief
Member
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 | 05:31 AM
I was waiting for the blonde jokes!
How do you know if a blonde has a blonde boyfriend? She comes into work complaining of a sore belly button...
A blonde, brunette & redhead were in a breast-stroke swimming race. The blonde came in last, a long time after the other two had finished. When asked why she took so long, she said "The other girls cheated - they were using their arms!" |
Maegan
in Tampa, FL - USA
Member
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 | 05:40 AM
I never get tired of blonde jokes. I used to be blonde...so I heard them all the time from friends. |
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Note: This thread is located in the Old Forum of the Museum of Hoaxes.
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