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Michael Jackson dead & replaced
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Posted By:
Glamcat
Mar 20, 2005
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http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4111
Forget Paul, now here's a story I can believe!
I've long suspected that Michael was replaced by something, I don't know, an alien prehaps?
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Comments
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Page 2 of 2 pages < 1 2 |
Maya
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Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2005 | 08:44 AM
talk ppl |
Maya
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Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2005 | 08:46 AM
i love mj :D
u can't make fun of him oh and talk ppl :D 😊 :( 😉 |
STE5HNTGBTYUTFCXXXXXXXXXCTGHBN
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Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2005 | 08:47 AM
:D |
ytrgfx
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Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2005 | 08:48 AM
:strong |
skillless
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Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2005 | 10:26 AM
http://anomalies-unlimited.com/Jackson.html
If you all wondered about his face ... heres a good site ... and yea, the news had been removed for some reasons (which i am lazy to guess). And if you want there full report, here it is:
SANTA BARBARA, CA - During a search for evidence at the Neverland Valley Ranch, investigators discovered a corpse that has been identified as that of Michael Jackson, Santa Barbara police officials announced Tuesday.
"Coroners have officially pronounced Michael Jackson dead. From what we can tell, he died between 18 and 20 years ago," forensic investigator Tim Holbrooke said. "We are not certain, at this time, who - or what - has been standing trial in that Santa Maria courthouse."
According to Holbrooke, Jackson's corpse was buried just inches below a stretch of the miniature-train tracks that run throughout Neverland. The largely desiccated corpse wore the remains of a red, zipper-covered leather jacket and a single glove.
"We positively identified the body as Jackson by his dental records and DNA," Holbrooke said. "But even before we conducted a single forensic test, we began to suspect that that we'd uncovered the real Michael, and that the disturbing figure claiming to be Jackson was a fake."
Holbrooke said that, although the corpse was in an advanced stage of decomposition, when investigators compared the body to early-career publicity photos of Jackson, they saw a striking resemblance in bone structure and facial features. But when they compared the body to photos taken after 1987, the resemblance was negligible.
"This discovery raises a lot of questions, but it also sheds light on a number of disturbing incidents," Holbrooke said. "Frankly, Jackson had been acting pretty strange."
Forensic experts and music critics are postulating that Jackson was dead before the release of the multi-platinum album Bad. Detectives are currently analyzing the lyrics to "Man In The Mirror" for any clues relating to a look-alike entity that many suspect murdered the youngest member of the Jackson 5 and assumed his identity.
"We believe that Neverland served as some sort of freakishly whimsical tomb constructed by Jackson's killer," Holbrooke said. "We also suspect that all of the iniquities that occurred on that ranch were the work of the imposter. I wouldn't have ever thought it possible, but we are looking at a situation where the sexual abuse of a 13-year-old cancer patient is the tip of the iceberg."
Holbrooke said that, while the living Jackson is the leading suspect in the murder investigation, he "could be another victim of some sort."
"Basically, we have no idea what type of creature we are dealing with," Holbrooke said.
A member of the investigative team that discovered Jackson's body described the experience as "otherworldly."
"As we neared the perimeter of Neverland, the dogs started whining and howling like crazy," Santa Barbara County detective Frank Poeller said. "We had to pull them into the house. When we got to Jackson's bedroom, one of them almost choked himself to death on his leash trying to get out through the window. Minutes later, the same dog led us to the corpse."
A representative from Jackson's self-created label, MJJ Productions, said he was not surprised to find out that the current Jackson is an imposter.
"When we were recording 'Heal The World' for Dangerous,
I could tell something was terribly, terribly wrong," MJJ manager Luke Allard
said. "Michael didn't seem like himself anymore. He'd demand bizarre food and sit for hours in a hyperbaric chamber. His appearance began to become more and more peculiar. Soon afterwards, he started wearing a mask and confiding in a chimpanzee."
"I remember thinking, 'This man has become a monster,'" Allard said. "If only I'd known how right I was." |
skillless
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Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2005 | 10:28 AM
Allard said he thinks that the imposter broke ties with Jackson's former friends and surrounded himself with children who were too young to notice the radical change.
Vanity Fair reporter Beth Pither visited Neverland in 1994.
"A strangely fearful staff member led me to Jackson, but ran off before I opened the door," Pither said. "Standing there with my hand on an ice-cold doorknob, I heard strange, unnatural sounds?eathery wings flapping, a sorrowful wail, and loud hissing. A wave of dread passed through me as I opened the door, but all I found was Michael and some kids in pajamas eating ice
cream and watching 101 Dalmatians."
While their claims have not been corroborated, other Neverland visitors have reported that when when Jackson entered a room, lights flickered, faucets ran blood-red, and screams escaped from the walls.
To aid in the investigation, the FBI enlisted Dr. Richard Weingarden, a noted expert on the paranormal from UC Santa Barbara. After only two hours, Weingarden abandoned the project.
"The smell of sulfur, the decaying facial features, the bizarrely high-pitched voice?t sounds exactly like..." Weingarden said, trailing off. "I'm sure it's nothing. Not a big deal. Nothing to be terrified about, certainly. I have to go. I've got a family."
Thomas Sneddon, the prosecutor in Jackson's child-molestation lawsuit, said it remains to be seen how the shocking discovery will affect the trial.
Megan Gustafson, who left her post as president of the Akron, OH Michael Jackson Fan Club after the singer was accused of molestation, offered a positive view of the grisly revelation.
"This is very disturbing news," Gustafson said. "But to be honest, it's kind of a relief too. Thriller and Off The Wall are really amazing records. Now I can pull them out of my 'ruined by child abuse' storage bin and start listening to them again."
-End-
and here are some pictures (hope the links are working)
http://www.theonion.com/images/429/article3149.jpg
http://www.theonion.com/images/429/article3148.jpg
http://www.theonion.com/images/429/article3150.jpg |
Winona
in USA
Member
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Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2005 | 11:44 AM
You know a person has just got love that one pic with the gloved hand sticking up from the body bag. lol
The Onion is one of my favorite papers. And everything inside is true, you know. 😛 |
skillless
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Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2005 | 06:40 AM
Well ... i am not in the position to judge whether this is true or not ... cause i got this from a secondary source (as the one in onion was deleted). But really, if its real, it should be all over the news. But don't forget, this article got deleted soon after it was posted to the public, and this might be an evidance to show that its real, and who ever got rid of the post, has a lot of influance and power. However, when you look at the picture with the corp and hand sticking out, dosn't it look like a photoshoped pic? I mean ... why are there only one cop down there zipping the bag? And the contrast between the background and the main object is just too big, different in a sense, that it look as if it was two pic and was pasted together. Anyway, believe it or not, its up to you, but if you are looking at the pic for clue, forget it. But the article is another story ... O well ... its really up to you to believe it or not ... and sorry for the broken english 😛 |
Punklegend
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Posted: Sun Aug 28, 2005 | 09:31 PM
The answer lies here folks!
<a href="http://www3.sympatico.ca/steve.thacker/Index3.htm">Pharaohofpop.com</a> |
aschanell bowman
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 | 09:07 PM
Michael Jackson is not dead he is alive i really love him but when i heard that he was dead i started to cry im 11years old and i am a fan of him If u got to say somthin to say to me that is bad email me at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) dont hate jane just appreciate bitch asshole i`ll heart you so bad u will be gone BITCH ASSHOLE |
cass
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Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 | 01:30 PM
I was going on random sites, digging dirt about random people, so i choose Jacko. When I read that article about him being dead over 18 years ago I totally freaked! So i googled 'Micheal Jackson is Dead' and came up with a story dated April 1st 2006, (i was shifty, because i wasn't sure if it was a joke or not, but the Global Associated News published it about 10 minutes ago)(to see the article go to http://michael.jackson.swellserver.com/news/top_stories/musician-overdose.php) that said Jacko had just died of overdose.
How can it be true? or is just an april fools joke to get us all worked up?
Reply back and tell me what you think.
xxxx,
cass |
samiam
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Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 | 01:42 PM
cass, sorry its all a hoax. |
Nia Doaks
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Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 | 09:31 AM
I really, really hope that they are wrong, because im only 10 and i absolutely posetively love Michael Jackson. He is my idle!!! |
Camillia Mickens
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Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 | 08:49 AM
u need 2 leave him alone, u know d*** well that my michael ain't dead, if so , how and why does his voice sound the same, his figure is the same, talk the same, and that so called body of him, is something they was planted in his house so they could get him back 2 the U.S., so they could accuse him of child molestation again. Who ever made that up is a cold blooded Mother F*****, and if I ever see or find out who made that bull**** up, im'a beat yo' a**, and that's not a threat it's a F*****' promise, LEAVE MY MICHAEL JACKSON ALONE, HE IS NOT DEAD, and u better stop callin' him a creature and a Freak and a monster, he is a god d*** man, stupid, and if I could get on National T.V. i would curse all of yall envy a**'s out, but u'll get what'z coming 2 u, u can bet on that, B****, so u better shut the H*** up. |
domonique
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Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2006 | 08:20 PM
first of all micheal is not dead and he cannot be replaced he is fanomal i love micheal jackson and all these people who are dissin him can go to hell bc he has not done ne thing to yall and he did not melest or rape ne body |
founda
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Posted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 | 06:33 AM
mical jackson is deaddd |
mjfan
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Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 | 08:45 PM
michael jackson aint dead and whoever did this hoax is bloody mental!!! what sort of person finds someone being dead a laugh?! anyone that does think its funny is sick in the head and i feel for ya!!! im a big fan of mj and so are many others! people should stop critising him and look at their own f****** lifes coz i bet their not perfect! mj can live how he wants and if someone finds this sort of thing funny they should be seriously worried about themselvs!! mj is a legend and always will be!!! people who think this is a laugh are just f****** sick wierdos and should be more worried about their own mental health!!! luv ya michael!!! xxx |
Angie Holtt
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Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 | 08:25 AM
I HAVE RECENTLY FOUND OUT THAT MICHEAL JACKSON IS 'ALIVE'. IT WAS JUST A HOAX, OR CELEBRITY GOSSIP! |
jess
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Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 | 01:29 PM
it is FAKE! he's not really dead! the onion doesn't give real stories, all just hoax |
John
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 | 06:53 PM
the onion is a hoax site gee! and some morons believe its true. go here:
http://www.mischel.com/diary/2001/07/25.htm
it talks about hoax and parody sites. and u think they'd charge him with other fake child molestation charges and millions of dollars for nothing? and they'd get some1 else who looks a little like him, have the same dna, can dance like him, and have the same voice!
stop picking on him! he never raped anyone! if ur dumb and didn't know all the charges were dropped 2005. |
Tirith
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Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 | 01:22 AM
...whoever made the picture did a piss-poor job of photo-shopping the gloved hand, as it isn't in the same resolution as the rest of the picture and simply doesn't match up with the rest of the "corpse". |
michael jackson
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Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 | 05:44 AM
Hi Jane, its Michael Jackson here, i love smart people like you. can i come visit you in malta and maybe stay a few days? i need to work on my tan.
Post a reply with your bank details as i need to borrow some money. america has run out of maltese money or something so i cant book my tickets until we get some more.
im a real rich guy so i'll bring lots of american dollars with me and pay you back double.
peace sister, i love all the world...oooh hooo
Michael Jackson
ps. remember...post your bank details |
maddison cronin
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 | 01:57 AM
michael is so not dead, if he was the imposter wouldn't be able to sing anything like him. I mean we see all these thing about no one dances like michael jackson and there saying this person can, if he was dead i would be cryin for the rest of my life i am only 12 years old and i heard that he has come out from hiding and is making a new album so surely this michael living now would probably be not as good, and otherwise it would be all over the news which its not and the pictures look so fake. People are saying the reason he was hiding was because it wasn't the real michael but thats not true i just wish everyone will leave him the f*** alone in peace. |
R.J.
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 | 05:23 PM
Even during Thriller he was getting a little lighter(cinnamon, as apposed to Off the Wall image). If Michael Jackson died in 87-89 then who took his place. Scary thought! lol. But honestly I doubt that really happened. |
Shutup
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Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 | 03:17 PM
12 year old bitc*es calm down this is fake and to the person who said he can live however he wants are you a tard. if he wants to touch children he shouldnt and cant be allowed.us F*ck you mj damn pedefile |
india
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Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 | 04:03 PM
omg get a fucking life michael jackson did not fucking die....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
even if he did hed still be alive in all the fans hearts.........
love the 12 year old mj fan !!! <3<3<3<3<3 |
jacko fan
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Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 | 09:01 AM
he is the best and we love him from phillipine |
R.J.
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Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 | 06:59 PM
Found out this stories fake and from the tabloids. |
kiki
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Posted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 | 05:25 PM
mj is not dead.just because people say he is . and all of those ppictures are FAKE!!! |
R.J.
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Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 | 10:24 PM
definite hoax! The idea a white guy murdered Michael Jackson and took his place...please! :lol: |
Hamilton
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Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 | 12:06 AM
Things like this are pretty funny. I mean, they're obveousely not true and even if you're a total diehard MJ fanatic you should look at it from different points of view. Their's alot of anger between people just because some think he's innocent and some think he's guilty. Personally, I think that he's innocent and just wants to experiance a true childhood, but he also has been making some apperences recently as an adult so I think his stay over seas did him good. I have this strange feeling that he's going to be in the news alot this year and he's also going to be turning 50 in August. I'm 12 years old and have been able to make a point without cursing (unlike some people). Love ya Michael<3 |
vhenc
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Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 | 02:41 AM
i hate those people who always mock and treat michael as a laughing stuff..for those haterz...could you please leave him alone...mind your own buss..lets give him a peaceful life even just for once..dont be so cruel to him... |
lisa blair
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Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 | 07:10 PM
what us the truth about this misterious death? i keep reading different stories,,, is he dead or alive??????? |
C.J
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Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 | 02:41 AM
dose anyone look at the dates of these posts???
seem to have been goin on since 2005. the date on the article is 16 March 2005. After all the drama and draging Micheal's name in the mud, why am i only hearing about this now???? ❓
and please S.A is not the jungle some people think it is and no we do not live in mud houses. i have access to the internet the works, i just cant figure it out. personaly i love M.J, i didnt belive the rape storeis for a second... but since hearing this it means that everything that i have grown to love about him is a lie... |
julie taylor
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Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 | 07:39 AM
people get real.. okay i can maybe believe that jackson could be an imposter. if this is true than wouldnt they have done DNA testing on him now.
anyway if michael jackson were dead he would be on the front page cover of every paper on the planet.
not on some stupid websites.
and what is this that the imposter michael jackson is an alien or a demon? GET REAL and get out of the fantasy world. the story is stupid and very unrealistic. |
Louise Simms
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Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 | 03:08 AM
Ok, So... I'm a great big sucker when it comes to hoax e-mail - I'll admit, I'm completely gullible. But even I had to do a double take on this issue. Granted, the guy is looking a little worse for wear lately, but to insinuate he's actually been dead a couple of years, and the imposter is some or other demon??? Seriously... |
Destiny
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Posted: Sat May 23, 2009 | 03:53 PM
He Is not dead ok ppls 💋 |
He is lol
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 | 04:11 PM
LOS ANGELES (AFP) |
HINGe
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 | 05:08 PM
He really is dead as of today! good thoughts go out to his family,shame about all the bad press that is now licking his arse!! |
Zuko
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 | 08:48 PM
Look, michael jackson is not dead, and he never was. Neither is Elvis, theyre both hanging out right now, THINK ABOUT IT! |
elizabeth
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 | 10:18 PM
Ok look im debating detween a few things and i need some help first i kinda believe : he has been ead for 18 through 20 years, cause ive een it on 12 reliable websites i know i can trust, 2 :he just died of cardiac arrest today, and 3 :he isnt dead and he just wants to get out of the lime light so it was faked, somehow....
please reply.
=D thanks for the help! =D |
Young D
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Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 | 06:35 AM
There's more to MJ. Or was more to him, i just can't put my finger on it. R.I.P though my man, i mean what a legend. |
michelle
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Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 | 09:08 AM
isn"t dead? |
oyunlar
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Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 | 02:32 PM
sorry you think like that, but there is a lot of people out there who love him, he has done a great deal for the world |
oyunlar
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Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 | 02:36 PM
Think of all the preists' out there that were supposed to be all holy and what not. |
Kyle Dufall
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Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 | 01:59 AM
Michael Jackson Rocks because my ex loves him. Kyle Dufall |
Kira
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Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 | 09:11 AM
michael is not dead 2 me he is now and 4ever will be in my heart <3 you |
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Page 2 of 2 pages < 1 2 |
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Note: This thread is located in the Old Forum of the Museum of Hoaxes.
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