Vampire Sites

Here's a couple of vampire-themed websites sent in by visitors. First we have the Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency. According to the blurb on the site, "From 1868 to 1975, the Federal Vampire & Zombie Agency (FVZA) was responsible for controlling the nation's vampire and zombie populations while overseeing scientific research into the undead. This site is a tribute to the men and women who served in the FVZA, especially the over 4000 Agents who lost their lives fighting to keep our country safe." And next we have The Temple of the Vampire. If you want to live forever, then all you have to do is join the temple. The catch is that in order to join you have to buy their book, The Vampire Bible. That's a good sales gimmick. I should try something like that for my book, such as if you want to achieve a state of absolute enlightenment, then you have to buy my book.


Posted on Wed Oct 29, 2003


Yes, it is $10 per month but then you are required to pay $30-$45 for all 6+ books. Then the Temple Ring and Medallion is also aprox $75.00 each (it pleases the undead hucksters if you buy them *smirk*). The last time I checked, it was aprox. $75 per Grade and there are at least 4 grades. They DO nickel and dime you to death.
And, the money forum has little info for those who are not wealthy. They only have information in it for rich members.
The website is a lot of hype and promises. Also, you can loose your membership real easy if you say or do the wrong thing.
Also their messageboard members stated in posts that one could not "insinuate" they had downloaded copyrighted mp3's or you would be banned.
Members on there are also very antagonistic and quick to find fault so they can get kudos with their huckster Nemo. I wouldn't be surprised if some lied on each other to show their loyalty.
They also claim the Temple is their to help find "lost family members". Why are their Family members lost and need to be found in the first place? I guess they are just like christians trying to save lost souls so they can get your money.
If you want to see how many others have wasted money then just go on EBAY and you can see the ex-members rings and books on there. Beware! Do not buy or own their books, if you are not a member because you will be cursed!
Also remember, if you are not a member then you hate life and do not want to be immortal.
Personally, I think the possibility of extending one's life through cryonics is not stupid if there is a small chance they could revive you in the future. So I disagree with other's sentiments here about cryonics being stupid. I suggest those here not to go on stereotypes and visit the cryonic institutes website and read their FAQ
Posted by Unknown  in*/http://www.vampiretem  on  Fri Apr 04, 2008  at  03:44 PM
Here is their website from 2002:

Taken from:*/
Posted by Private  in  NA  on  Fri Apr 04, 2008  at  04:01 PM
Looks like the TOV recently cut all public access to their message board. I guess they got something to hide, now that certain elements are on the table for public scrutiny. Doesn't surprise me in the least. Back to the shadows for them all. That is where they belong, anyways. In the shadows. Hiding. Watching.
Posted by SATAN!!!!!  in  Up Nemo's Ass  on  Mon Apr 07, 2008  at  10:49 PM
Here is when the Temple was first starting out on the net:*/

You can easily track the evolution of their website using the Wayback Machine at

You can also do a search on their on the Wayback Machine and see how they keep changing their site.

I have also found other old websites from the early 90's using this nifty little research tool.

I have noticed they have gone from saying vampires are "real" to telling everyone on their new site they are "metaphorical".

I think the Temple changing their website is only making themselves look worse and more suspicious.

I am still waiting on an ex-member to try and kill themselves while leaving a Temple card or vampire bible in a pool of their own vampire blood.

Just wait, it will happen sooner or later.
Posted by Private  in  NA  on  Tue Apr 08, 2008  at  05:20 PM
On the previous links from the Wayback Machine I suggest that you highlight, copy and paste the URL into explorer or the website may not come up.

You can also try to trim out part of the URL to get it to pop up in the Wayback Machine's site. For example, trim out "" and put it in their search field on the Wayback Machine.

I checked all of these links and they do work but they don't work if you click on them from off of these posts or this website.
Posted by Private  in  NA  on  Tue Apr 08, 2008  at  05:32 PM
Its kinda funny how the TOV went from saying the vampyre evolves beyond the need for a physical body to now wanting to say Cyrogenics is now the way to true immortality.
Its really showing that they are saying one thing in their books,and promoting something else.
Posted by jax larue  in  hellville  on  Tue Apr 08, 2008  at  05:49 PM
Quote: "Its really showing that they are saying one thing in their books, and promoting something else."

I couldn't have said it better myself. Bravo!!!!

Their so-called "active membership" does not reflect their teachings even remotely.

People, don't take my word for it. Buy the books. Join the TOV. Pay for "active membership." Sell your souls to Nemo forevermore.

You'll see I'm right. SATAN wouldn't lie, now would he? Oh, never mind.
Posted by SATAN!!!!  in  Up Nemo's Fat Ass  on  Tue Apr 08, 2008  at  09:44 PM
Vampires may or may not be real. You will not find out the truth until you are bitten smile
Posted by Misstress  in  Orlando  on  Fri Apr 11, 2008  at  08:32 AM
Posted by Charles Ryder  on  Fri Apr 18, 2008  at  01:13 AM
i was passed a TOV card at a truck stop in anna texas last nite. when i visited the site it just seemed as if they have a bunch of general ideas not unknown to "humans" and they are packaged together under the name "vampirism" that had the cultist mentality of "buy the book, buy the faggy little rings, and we will help you live forever".

i guess everybody has to live by some code, we all have to buy some book (the bible, vampire or otherwise) and live our life based on the teaching.. godamn conformists. i am dissapointed at TOV for being so stupid.

i will continue to embrace my mortality becuase death is was makes life so exciting.. it would not be fun if you had untill the end of time to do everything. the fun is in squeezing all the good memorys and experences into a lifetime. living forever is overrated. thanx for reading.
Posted by ZaQ Fast  in  Texas  on  Sat Apr 19, 2008  at  09:31 AM
I'll bet the bloke who pimped you the bloody card had absolutely nothing to offer you, immortal or otherwise. Imagine, being an alleged immortal vampire? How do you spend your eternal life? By handing out bloody religious cards at some god damned truck stop in Texas. Yeah, that's the life for me! Where do I sign up? *joking*
Posted by Prince Charming  in  London, England  on  Sun Apr 27, 2008  at  11:16 PM
Hello everyone. I was visiting the website for the tov the other day and had a question that I just had to ask them! I'll copy and paste the email I sent them below:

Hello. I was browsing your website and had a question about a section that I read. For the segment "Finally, active members have the option of meeting with one another in person in order to refine their skills. These occur both as small gatherings of local members and as larger seminars. These meetings occur around the world.
These services give our active members the resources needed to master their lives, which in turn gives them the opportunity to benefit from the scientific promise of immortality.", I think it's wonderful that direction and guidance can be found through your organization! In fact, I got a warm fuzzy feeling after I read that just knowing that you really do care. I'm sure there's plenty of members that were looking for someone to hold their hand and lead them in the right direction.

My question is, would you object to wearing rubber gloves while you're holding a member's hands when you guide them in the right direction? Some people don't want cooties.

Thanks a lot!

I still haven't received an answer yet. I suppose that if I were immortal, then it wouldn't matter how long I had to wait... wink
Posted by Sasspra  on  Sun May 04, 2008  at  07:55 AM
LOL! Vampire cooties. Can you get those from the cards too, you think?
Posted by Prince Charming  in  London, England  on  Sun May 04, 2008  at  11:55 PM
You probably could get cooties from the cards. You should go wash your hands now!
Posted by Sasspra  on  Mon May 05, 2008  at  04:49 AM
the true aspect of the vampiric temple is not to gimmick ppl in fact if walk to the temple and ask to join the give you the bible but i can understand the nievity of some ppl to think that the vampire temple is a money gimmick but if you look at it that way then so is the christian church when you become a member you have to go out and buy your own bible so in all sense and terms it is also a money gimmick so before you go out and start making accusations think first.
Posted by edwardtheimmortal  in  ohio  on  Thu May 08, 2008  at  11:55 AM
but seriuosly there are truvampires out there no we are not unded and no you cant kill us with stakes and garlic but the truth is there is an actual disease that if you do not ingest fresh plasma every so often you go into anaphelectic shock i had it when i was a kid but out grew it but sometimes i still do it just to please my own concience but in all i am i am a vampire. BOW BEFORE ME!!!! snake
Posted by edwardtheimmortal  in  ohio  on  Thu May 08, 2008  at  12:05 PM
If you ever see anyone bowing before you, it's probably someone trying to dodge the eggs being thrown at you.
Posted by Sasspra  on  Thu May 08, 2008  at  12:55 PM
Good one Sasspra. Eggs and rotten fruit.

Garlic won't kill him but it could leave a nasty bruise on his noggin.

MUST..... HAVE...... FRESH..... PLASMA.....
MUST..... HAVE...... FRESH..... PLASMA.....
MUST..... HAVE...... FRESH..... PLASMA.....

*insert hungry undead vampire groan here*
Posted by Prince Charming  in  London, England  on  Sun May 11, 2008  at  08:18 PM
Hi all,

Posted by Scott  in  New Port Richey, FL.  on  Tue May 13, 2008  at  11:37 AM
hey ppl who have nothing better to do than to make fun of someone with a real disease are truly sick and twisted you would probably make fun of someone with cancer too huh? well then shut up hoes!
Posted by edwardtheimmortal  in  ohio  on  Tue May 13, 2008  at  11:39 AM
hey ppl who have nothing better to do than to make fun of someone with a real disease are truly sick and twisted you would probably make fun of someone with cancer too huh? well then shut up hoes!
Posted by edwardtheimmortal in ohio on Tue May 13, 2008 at 09:39 AM

For your information, I wasn't making fun of you because of a disease. I was making fun of your "Bow before me" comment. Here's a friendly piece of advice: If you want people to respect you, then you must respect others. I am under no obligation whatsoever to show respect to you. I will treat you as you treat me.
Posted by Sasspra  on  Tue May 13, 2008  at  11:53 AM
Hi all,

Posted by Scott  in  New Port Richey, FL.  on  Tue May 13, 2008  at  02:35 PM
Looks like I missed the old bugger over here in London while he was out traveling the world, courtesy of all those suckers who send him money. Looks like he's living it up.
Posted by Prince Charming  in  London, England  on  Tue May 13, 2008  at  10:15 PM
To edwardtheimmortal: You may be right. I might make fun of someone with cancer, especially if they are a bloody fool like you. You go drink your fresh plasma and go on thinking you are Count Dracula. Your protests only validate your idiocy. Vampires are fake, you dumb ass.
Posted by Prince Charming  in  London, England  on  Tue May 13, 2008  at  10:23 PM
that bow before me part is off the vampire creed from the vampiric bible i just thought it would be funny to add it so dont bring me down for being who i am
Posted by edwardtheimmortal  in  ohio  on  Wed May 14, 2008  at  11:08 AM
Any "real" vampire wouldn't care about what their so-called prey thought of them. Does the wolf care about what the sheep is thinking about as it rips its throat apart? Bloody hell not. As long as you don't try to partake of my "fresh plasma" *LOL* or hand me one of them cootie-infested vampire cards you can do whatever you like.


Maybe our little "barbs" are shedding some lucidity into your otherwise unbridled delusions that you are a vampire. That shred of reality could be what's "bringing you down" as you say. Maybe your "vampire reality" is no more stable than a bloody house of cards. What say you, immortal?
Posted by Prince Charming  in  London, England  on  Wed May 14, 2008  at  10:05 PM
i never said i was a true vampire but look up vampire in the dictionary it will validate my claims and whoevewr said i was a part of the vampiric temple i just took one of thier books
Posted by edwardtheimmortal  in  ohio  on  Thu May 15, 2008  at  09:11 AM
So we've now established that you're actually just another internet vampire wannabe, who coincidently, can't type worth diddly-squat.

Bow down before me.. Fresh plasma.. Cootie cards.. Where do these bloody people come from? Never mind. I'd rather you didn't tell me. LOL!!!!!
Posted by Prince Charming  in  London, England  on  Thu May 15, 2008  at  10:05 PM
well you had told me earlier that in order for ppl to respect me i have to show respect the same thing can be said to you. Even the strongest oak is blown over by a mighty wind. you have built up your strength on here by tearing other people down therein lies your mistake, the tower of babble was built to reach heaven but in the end it fell and was defeated. so shall you be. the first comment i made has still been avoided because i spoke truth, and you dont want to admit it so you went after my second one. you are as weak as a newborn mouse unable to stand without falling. just to let you know i do nat wanna be a vampire nor am i an internet wannabe i am one who is misunderstood. remeber this before you make a sarcastic remark about me again.
Posted by edwardtheimmortal  in  ohio  on  Fri May 16, 2008  at  09:39 AM
LOL! I'm just having some fun here. See, there is an underlying joke going on here in this blog, and you are part of the punch line.

You are proving the very point of how idiotic you people are.

Your word don't actually effect me whatsoever. I already know that you are a retard. What harm can the thoughts of a retard do to me?

Now go cry to your mommy, you bloody idiot.
Posted by Prince Charming  in  London, England  on  Fri May 16, 2008  at  12:10 PM
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