Tombstone Humor

The temperature reached 110 degrees on my patio today. I sat inside the whole day with a fan blowing on me, wishing I had air conditioning, and wondering how anyone could think global warming is a hoax.

I also put together a list of tombstone humor, which I posted in the hoaxipedia.

My favorite humorous epitaph that I came across, which supposedly can be found on a tombstone in a Maine cemetery (though I have my doubts) is this one:

“Tears cannot restore her. Therefore do I weep.”

It took me a few seconds to get it.


Posted on Mon Sep 03, 2007


Silly me. I thought you were talking about Tombstone, AZ until I clicked the link. Sadly, it's about a 20 min drive from where I live.
Posted by Razela  in  Chicago, IL  on  Tue Sep 04, 2007  at  12:02 AM
Actually, I do have some stuff about Tombstone, Arizona on that page. Two things, in fact. The grave of Lester Moore, in Boot hill cemetery. Plus, President Truman claimed there was a grave in Tombstone with the inscription "here lies Jack Williams. He done his damndest."
Posted by The Curator  in  San Diego  on  Tue Sep 04, 2007  at  12:25 AM
My wife denied global warming until this summer when the AC went dead.

On the flip side, if a generous right-winger would spring for repairs, I'd be willing to pretend that global warming is all a hoax of Al Gore's.
Posted by Mark  on  Tue Sep 04, 2007  at  12:29 AM
I've picked "Can I use some of that time I saved?" for my epitaph
Posted by MagicFaireDust  on  Tue Sep 04, 2007  at  01:47 AM
I was thinking of 'Check, please!'
Posted by Gutza  on  Tue Sep 04, 2007  at  03:10 AM
There's some keepers in there!

It was only last summer than we got aircon but we had to go for evaporative as refrigerated is just way too expensive. Problem with evap is that when it's humid it really doesn't work at all so for most of the summer it doesn't seem to do much and unfortunately it gets rather hot around these parts.
Posted by Nettie  in  Perth, Western Australia  on  Tue Sep 04, 2007  at  05:23 AM
Razela, why is it sad that Tombstone is a 20-minute drive from your home?
Posted by Big Gary  on  Tue Sep 04, 2007  at  06:45 AM
The one with the true message you only get by reading the first word of each line (there has to be a name for that) is my favourite. It's just so sneaky!

I quite enjoy wandering around graveyards (I live in London, we have some very impressive graveyards!) but I've never come across a funny gravestone. What is creepy is in one cemetary, where almost every grave had a photograph of the deceased on it. That's just disturbing, seeing a photo of the person who's bones are beneath your feet staring back at you.
Posted by Nona  in  London  on  Tue Sep 04, 2007  at  08:20 AM
So, when it gets really cold this winter, and record lows are set somewhere, as they typically are, what do we blame that on?

...just askin' grin
Posted by coit  on  Tue Sep 04, 2007  at  08:22 AM
>>So, when it gets really cold this winter, and record lows are set somewhere, as they typically are, what do we blame that on?<<

Generally, I blame everything on Bush.
Posted by The Curator  in  San Diego  on  Tue Sep 04, 2007  at  10:17 AM
<<Generally, I blame everything on Bush.>>

Tell us something we don't already know! grin
Posted by coit  on  Tue Sep 04, 2007  at  10:36 AM
One inscription whose truth I've always wanted to verify is that of the 18th-century British playwright, John Gay (He wrote The Beggar's Opera, which became the inspiration for Bertold Brecht's Threepenny Opera):

Life is a jest, and all things show it;
I thought so once and now I know it.

Gay is supposed to be buried in Westminster Abbey. He is said to have written his own epitath but one site claims his tomb bears a verse by his contemporary, Alexander Pope. Either way, could this be it?
Posted by Phred22  on  Tue Sep 04, 2007  at  03:50 PM
In one of the Ripley's books of years ago there was a tombstone inscription with a date of death listed as Feburary 31st. True or not I don't know, I don't remember the name or place it was supposed to be in and I understand that Ripley's wasn't always very accurate. My favorite of all time is the one of the hypochondriac whose tombstone said "See, I told ytou I was sick."
Posted by Christopher Cole  in  Tucson, AZ  on  Tue Sep 04, 2007  at  09:44 PM
OK, I don't "get" the
Posted by Taed  on  Wed Sep 05, 2007  at  07:33 AM
>>OK, I don't "get" the
Posted by coit  on  Wed Sep 05, 2007  at  09:05 AM
>>I believe it is that he really didn't want her back, and if tears would bring her back, he couldn't weep...<<

Yeah, that's what I got from it too. One of those bitter spouse jokes.

I love old tombstones - there's a really good one in my hometown that's so old that the only discernible thing is a skull and crossbones. It's one of the ones that lies flat over the grave, which just makes it creepier.

Also, Falkirk is in Scotland, not England as the article said. smile
Posted by Beth  on  Wed Sep 05, 2007  at  07:44 PM
"Here lies an athiest, all dressed up and no place to go."
Posted by Athiest  on  Thu Sep 06, 2007  at  03:08 AM
Big Gary, because sadly enough, the town I live in is so tucked away in the middle of nowhere that when people here want to go hang out at bars at night, they drive to tombstone. Tombstone is the "happening" area in this part of the desert. Either that or Bisby. So those are our choices of a "fun night out," a fake "old west" or hippies.
Posted by Razela  in  Chicago, IL  on  Thu Sep 06, 2007  at  11:08 PM
Commenting is no longer available in this channel entry.