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The Price of Fake Sick Notes
Status: News article
I'm hesitant to post this, remembering that the last time I posted about fake doctor's notes I ended up with hundreds of comments from people asking me to provide them with fake notes. But here goes anyway. The Shanghai Daily has an interesting short article about the economics of the fake-sick-note industry in China. Apparently sellers of fake doctor's notes can be found outside of many Shanghai hospitals:

The price depends on the type of disease and duration of the sick leave. A note allowing two to three days of rest normally costs 20 (US$2.47) to 30 yuan. The price goes up if the person requires longer sick leave. Ailments on two-day fake notes are always fever and diarrhea. Fractures can be 40 to 50 days, said the reader, who bought a two-day note for 20 yuan.

I imagine the guys selling these notes must be like scalpers, lurking on the street corner, coming up to strangers ("Hey, buddy. Wanna buy a sick note?") I've never seen the equivalent in America. But then, I've never gone shopping for a fake sick note.
Business/FinanceHealth/Medicine
Posted by The Curator on Mon Mar 13, 2006
shut eye Oh no, Alex...how could you tempt fate like this?
Posted by Smerk  in  to mischief  on  Mon Mar 13, 2006  at  12:52 AM
I'm just a glutton for punishment. smile
Posted by The Curator  in  San Diego  on  Mon Mar 13, 2006  at  01:06 AM
I was going to post a note askihg for a sick
note, but I can't be bothered.
Posted by Sharruma  in  capable of finishing a coherent  on  Mon Mar 13, 2006  at  01:44 AM
Well, as a public service to slackers every where, I offer the following site for an unlimited supply of excuse notes: http://www.shanemcdonald.com/laughs/l-make-sick-note-generator.html
(Warning: persistent use may lead to loss of employment) };-)

Of course, if you want the ultimate, one time use excuse of all time, there's always, http://www.collegehumor.com/pictures/26624/ .
This is a scan of the original note and is a bit blurry and hard to read.
(Warning, contains Dark Humor and graphic descriptions of bodily harm, not for the squeamish!)
Posted by Captain DaFt  on  Mon Mar 13, 2006  at  04:15 AM
Reminds me of the old Irish ditty "The Sick Note" by Pat Cooksey. I'm sure the lyrics are somewhere on the web--it's funnier to hear it though.
Posted by Joe  on  Mon Mar 13, 2006  at  02:41 PM
More about the Irish song "The Sick Note". Turns out this song belongs in the Museum in its own right. According to Sam Hinton:

"By the time Gerard Hoffnung read his incomparably funny 'sick letter', the story was well-established as a sort of urban legend. It was generally cited as an actual letter that had been received by some government agency, and I remember reading it somewhere around 1937. In 1940 appeared in READER'S DIGEST as an actual letter supposed to have been received by a naval officer from an enlisted man who was explaining why he had overstayed his leave;. this story had the victim working on a silo on his parents' farm."

And further, "In any event, the story itself originated with neither Gerard Hoffnung nor Pat Cooksey, but both deserve a tremendous amount of credit for putting it into succinct form. The Cooksey version, by the way, is sung to a traditional Irish tune, 'In the Garden Where the Praties Grow'. "
Posted by Joe  on  Mon Mar 13, 2006  at  02:50 PM
Good, now you'll be top on google for "fake doctor's notes" and "fake sick notes"
Posted by Razela  in  Chicago, IL  on  Tue Mar 14, 2006  at  12:31 AM
I would like a fake note please. Send help right away. I have not included my email address or contact info.
Posted by Maegan  in  Tampa, FL - USA  on  Thu Mar 16, 2006  at  11:36 PM
I just returned from a tourist trip to Beijing and Shanghai and can confirm in Beijing the sale of these notes around at least one hospital-I saw someone selling sheets of paper and asked the tour guide what they were. He said doctor's excuses.
Posted by Evan  in  atlanta, ga  on  Mon Mar 20, 2006  at  12:57 PM
i missed 2 days of school and i need a fake doctors note for march 30 and march 31 i had an ear infection and i need to see how the excuse looks before i get it
Posted by Taylor  in  irvington,alabama 36544  on  Mon Apr 03, 2006  at  03:37 PM
The doctor's note will be written on white paper with lots of Chinese Mandarin characters on it that you won't understand. grin
Posted by Evan  on  Mon Apr 03, 2006  at  03:39 PM
Please excuse Erin from classes until Thursday April 6th, 2006.
Posted by Erin Kelleher  in  Bellefonte, PA  on  Tue Apr 04, 2006  at  02:12 PM
cherissa is under my care and cannot return to work until tuesday june 27,2006
Posted by Cherissa Holland  in  Prince Frederick  on  Sat Jun 24, 2006  at  08:18 PM
I need a doc. excuse for 3 days i wasn't there and i cant find one that is free or do they all cost something .
Posted by Misti H  in  TexasCity , TX , 77590  on  Wed Aug 09, 2006  at  03:42 PM
i called off work today because i was too tired to make it and i used the excuse my son was sick and had to go to the doctor now they asked for a doctors note and i am screwed cause he did not really go what do i do i need some kind of note stateing that i was at the doctor with him his doctors name is jeffrey gatz m.d and the office is called st.margret mercy help me please
Posted by amy  in  portage indiana  on  Sat Aug 26, 2006  at  01:11 AM
Amy, I have a fullproof method for you. When you get your new job, show up every day unless you have a legitimate excuse.
Posted by Razela  in  Chicago, IL  on  Sat Aug 26, 2006  at  10:44 PM
I need a note for my boss who is trying to get out of his gym membership. He needs something that states that he is having reconstructive surgery and needs intensive rehabilitation. Thanks!
Posted by Owen Jerome  in  New York City  on  Wed Sep 06, 2006  at  03:00 PM
This is to funny, who would spend money on a fake doctors note for one or two days? This is only common since, we have all been to a Doctor and recieved an excuse for you or your children. All you need to do is go onto Microsoft Word and use the postcard template #3263 or #3381 along with the many fonts, if you have an old Doctors note to copy from great if not, open the phone book and look up Doctors you will find all the information needed for your excuse.I have done this many time for myself and other people, just remember the Doctors signature is in script and hard to read go threw your fonts and use the best one and reminds you of a doctors handwriting.
Posted by Red  in  Roseville, Michigan  on  Tue Sep 12, 2006  at  02:18 PM
i missed school for a day and volleyball for two days and i need an excuse for school and volleyball for saturday sept. 23 and monday sept. 25
Posted by Samantha Hines  in  newark  on  Mon Sep 25, 2006  at  05:42 PM
PLEAS EXCUSE MARY SHE HAS NOT BEAN FEALING WELL LATLY THANK YOU
Posted by MARY SOLIZ  in  FOT WOTH TEXAS  on  Thu Sep 28, 2006  at  04:35 PM
i need a doctors note that will excues me for october 4th through the 8th
Posted by Bradleigh Huitt  in  missouri  on  Sat Oct 07, 2006  at  01:44 PM
Kevin has a mild case of strep throat and will need at least a day or two off from work.
Posted by Kevin Akenhead  in  Crane, MO  on  Wed Nov 15, 2006  at  02:44 PM
i need a doctors note for sunday and monday had a stomach virus ... dec. 3 and 4 2006

briana deleon
female
19 yrs.old.
Posted by BRIANA  in  SAN ANTONIO , TX  on  Wed Dec 06, 2006  at  10:44 PM
i need a doctor's sick note for friday march 9, 2007 please and thankyou :D
Posted by Quyen Tran  in  5809 Monocacy Dr Bethlehem PZ 18017  on  Fri Mar 09, 2007  at  07:58 AM
I need a doctor's note for Friday, February 16th, 2007
Posted by Charlie  in  Chicago  on  Mon Mar 12, 2007  at  10:25 PM
I need a doctors note, my professor is being an asshole, i really need one to excuse me from March 15, 07 and March 8, 07.
Posted by jessica  in  waterbury,ct  on  Mon Mar 19, 2007  at  12:29 PM
I would suggest consulting a doctor then.
Posted by Charybdis  in  Hell  on  Mon Mar 19, 2007  at  12:46 PM
I have to say...fake doctor's notes aren't really that hard to get. It just depends if your school/boss would call in to see if you really were gone. Sometimes I do, just like everyone else, just don't feel like going into school/work. So you take the day off; but later realize that it wasn't the most wise choice. When someone calls me into the office to ask why I was absent, sometimes I just say that I had female problems- since if the person is a chick, she understands. If it's a guy, he doesn't WANT to understand. lol
Posted by Brandelynn  in  Del City, Oklahoma  on  Mon Mar 26, 2007  at  10:24 AM
I was out yesterday with a bad case of lasylitus
Posted by Sherry  in  Gainesville, Ga.  on  Sat Apr 07, 2007  at  06:08 AM
Scott came down with a strep throat on Thursday April 5. Thanks
Posted by Scott Fleisher  in  Lubbock, TX  on  Tue Apr 10, 2007  at  11:47 AM
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