This site claims to be able to scan you through your computer monitor using 'zeta waves', and determine whether or not you are pregnant.

The scanning software checks for: Endocrine balance, Hormone levels, Amniotic concentration, Carbohydrate level, Ketone (ketosis/lipolysis), Ovulation status, Bovine Encephalitis, Distemper, and Progesterone infusion. The remote testing system then checks the levels and calculates the likelihood of your being pregnant.

It's a joke site, obviously. They do have such disclaimers on each page.
There are some good parts, such as the guarantee: "Our results are 100% guaranteed. Please note we only guarantee that you'll get a result, not that the results will be accurate." I also liked the section where it tells you the identity of the father of your baby.

(via randi.org)

Dammit... my birth control didn't work, and Pee Wee Herman got me pregnant! Apparently I'm having a baby boy named Gabriel.

Not possible why would anything (just saying about aliens and sasquatch)think it was real.Deserves its place on a hoax website.

The Birth Certificate at the end of the test is saying something about December 25th, 7:15 in the evening, Chambersburg Hospital, Chambersburg, PA.

Maybe they're making a public advertisement of some Christmas Party?

you can easily tell that it's a parody jsut by looking at rrr the rrr by looking at rrrr I'm sorry excuse me brb

right there on the first pggnnrrrr sorry the first gnnnnnnnnrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr oh god not now the doors not lo

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrf arr rrrrrrrrrrOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Are you trying to tell us something? Are you the mother of your baby?

T.

arrarrfffaarrrrOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. rrf

Should I look for some Xanax?

T.

Congratulations, Sharruma! You're "with child". Our remote testing system has detected that you're pregnant. The Miracle Of Life has begun! To see whether your baby is a boy or a girl, click the "View My Baby" button below.


Sharruma, you're going to be the proud parent of a baby boy, and just look- isn't he just so damn cute! Based on our remote test results, your beautiful baby boy will weigh about 14 lbs, 9 oz and have brown hair and gray eyes. Truly a Wonder To Behold!


Michael Jackson

OMFG! We didn't even know that Michael Jackson had DNA compatible with Earth women. Don't blame us if your kid turns out to be a Smooth Criminal.

...just don't let him near the baby... last time he showed it hanging to the press. Other than that, your child will be happy. He'll have his very own amusement park.

T.

I'm deeply disturbed...I appear to have been impregnated by Ralph Nader...sorry, Acci!

Although I do like the name they picked out for the baby - Hannah.

Oh, and Hairy's problem is that it's full moon...we'll just have to let him run about for a few days...

I've been impregnated by Janet Reno!

Vozdra! Ima li netko mojega govornog podrucja na ovom web-site-u?

im pregnant! with a girl who will have brown hair and grey eyes, aww.

GAH. The pope is the father!

Janet Reno is the father of my baby!!!

I didn't go further to look at other results. I was too grossed out by the Janet Reno thing.

god-hwo can you people ignore it Its so damn bright rrrrrrrrrrrah

shes so beautiful like the ocean in my blood nnrrrrrr

"I'm deeply disturbed...I appear to have been impregnated by Ralph Nader..."
- Posted by Smerk

Noticed all the babies look the same... even when I typed in Duhead and Cracker Jack for the name. The father is Fabio, even though I live in Australia... When I typed in Cracker Jack, Elvis was the father... disturbing...

Suprisingly enough this site got 2 out of 4 right.
I am pregnant at the moment and the songram told me I'm having a girl

wow i had a girl named stephanie by fabiooooo

There

i think i was raped!!!!! i would NEVER do bill clinton! that mother fu**er impregnated me with a fu**ing 13 pound baby. amanda sue clinton?? she aint mine!!!!!