Quick Links: Man Bites Panda, etc.

Man Bites Panda
A drunken tourist climbed in with Gu Gu the panda at Beijing zoo. When the startled panda bit him, he bit it back.
"I bit the panda on its back but its fur was too thick," Mr Zhang recalled.
He went on: "No one ever said they would bite people. I just wanted to touch it."

Jerusalem - There's No Such City!
According to a mistranslated sightseeing brochure, at least. The pamphlet, translated from Hebrew, should have read "Jerusalem - there's no city like it!".

Dog With Knicker Obsession Gets Surgery
Deefer, a Bull Mastiff has eaten at least ten pairs of knickers over the last year. Embarrassing surgery was required recently when the last two pairs became lodged in Deefer's intestine, costing his owners more than £1,000.

Sudanese Man is Forced to 'Marry' Goat
When Mr Tombe was caught having sex with his neighbour's goat, he was taken to a council of elders, who ordered him to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars, and gave him the goat. The neighbour is quoted as saying "They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife."

(Thanks, Accipiter.)

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Posted on Fri Sep 22, 2006


I feel horrible for that poor goat. They shouldn't have given it to him. He's going to continue to abuse it now.
Posted by Sakano  in  Ohio  on  Fri Sep 22, 2006  at  01:36 PM
The story about the dog is not so strange. I have a Basset Hound that does the same thing, she even steals them out of the hamper.I have a friend whose yellow Lab had to have surgery because he ate her underwear and he had the same problem as Deefer. Emabarrasing? Yes. Strange? No.
Posted by Peekie  on  Fri Sep 22, 2006  at  01:43 PM
While I feel bad for the goat, I feel that this guy got his just desserts for being an outright idiot. Go Sudanese Council!!!

...sorry, couldn't help myself...
Posted by Joe  on  Fri Sep 22, 2006  at  02:44 PM
I agree that they should have made him pay, but they shouldn't have given him the goat.
Posted by Sakano  in  Ohio  on  Fri Sep 22, 2006  at  02:45 PM
Ah, perfect! A wife you can eat when you get bored of her!
Posted by LaMa  in  Europe  on  Sat Sep 23, 2006  at  03:24 AM
The goat story echoes the Bible: if a man rapes a virgin, he has to marry her. (No one asks what the virgin thinks of this.) I wonder, though, if the goat was a virgin?
Posted by cvirtue  on  Sat Sep 23, 2006  at  03:53 AM
What Bible verse is that? Are you sure it's in there or is it something that you just think would be in there?
Posted by Lonewatchman  on  Sat Sep 23, 2006  at  12:22 PM
LaMa, I bore my wife when I get tired of eating her.
Posted by Bobby  on  Sat Sep 23, 2006  at  01:51 PM
Look in Deuteronomy, and compare the text with Judges I & II, you'll see it soon enough. In any case, for a society that would stone a person to death if caught in adultery with a human, it isn't far-fetched to imagine the penalty for beasteality.
Posted by stork  in  the spiracles of space  on  Sat Sep 23, 2006  at  06:10 PM
Strangely enough, because it was impossible to control, a lot of shepherds ended-up married to their sheep in those days, at least figuratively, and that is why we have Syphilis still among us, today. It comes from sheep and goats, who live with it innocuously. But it can debilitate and even kill a human.
Posted by stork  in  the spiracles of space  on  Sat Sep 23, 2006  at  06:22 PM
Lonewatchman: Sounds like you should read your Bible more often. Deuteronomy 22:28-29.
Posted by cvirtue  on  Sun Sep 24, 2006  at  06:11 AM
Actually CVirtue, that's not at all what the Bible says, it's a misinterpretation that occurred during the translation of the original text. The original text of the Bible doesn't refer to rape but to consenual sex between a man and an unbetrothen (to him) woman. If she were betrothed and it were consentual they are condemned to death, if betrothed and rape he alone is condemned to death, unbetrothed and consenual then mandetory paurchase and marriage, unbetrothed and rape then he must pay for her... though he may not necessarily get her... he's basically forced to pay the bride price for spoiling her.
Posted by Neal  on  Sun Sep 24, 2006  at  09:11 AM
That goat doesn't love you!

~~Weird Al
Posted by Straight Outta Lynwood  in  La-la-land  on  Sun Sep 24, 2006  at  01:11 PM
Neal, I'm not one of the folks who think that the bible is inerrant, even the mistranslations. I'm not surprised that this cite might be a mistranslation, as there are apparently a great many of them, some covering some very contentious social issues. I think people shouldn't pick-and-choose which to take as inerrant and which to take in a more scholarly/historical manner, which is what I often hear tell of. However, the Museum of Hoaxes isn't a comparitive religion website, so I'll cease rambling.
Posted by cvirtue  on  Sun Sep 24, 2006  at  01:27 PM
ok so we are against goat loving, sympathetic to dog panty eating, but what about panda biting? should it be shunned or should it be a new sport?
Posted by joodd  on  Sun Sep 24, 2006  at  03:20 PM
I've got your Panda hangin'
Posted by Bob  on  Mon Sep 25, 2006  at  07:47 AM
I was waiting for this to be posted.(I mean the panda one)I am not sympathetic.Poor Gu Gu just thought he was being attacked.
Posted by J  on  Tue Oct 03, 2006  at  10:03 AM
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