Woman Avoids Falling Cow
If Sally Brown hadn't moved when she did, she would have been hit by a cow that had tumbled 50ft off a cliff above her.
Man Claims Penis Pump is a Bomb
Madin Azad Amin
really didn't want his mother to know he'd packed a sex toy for his trip to Turkey. So he told officials it was a bomb.
(Thanks, Big Gary C)
Cows Have Accents
A group of British farmers claim that their cows moo with regional accents.
(Thanks, Beverley.)
Man Survives 1000m Fall
A South African man survived a 1000m fall almost uninjured when his parachute failed to open on his first ever jump.
Comments
http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/003494.html
It's from a press release cooked up on behalf of a cheese manufacturer, West Country Farmhouse Cheesemakers, to publicize their regional varieties of cheese. The scientist in the article claims he was at best misquoted and at worst totally used.
I assume the jumper was on a static line - 3500ft makes sense. Line twists are very common with static line jumps (voice of experience) and will come out on their own, but the jumper would be trained to speed it up a bit by kicking. A line over is something quite different and is maybe what happened. Line overs cannot be corrected and the only option is to deploy the reserve. Maybe both happened. Jumpers are trained to look up after 5 seconds to check the canopy, but sometimes the line twists are so tight you cannot lift your head (experience again). It is quite possible he was scared and that may have inhibited his ability to react properly.
He should have had an AAD that should fire off the reserve if his descent rate was too high at around 1000ft. Maybe that malfunctioned too.
I have seen someone hit the ground hard following a big malfunction, but I doubt it was as fast as the article suggests. He was in a lot of pain for a few weeks after.
Glad to hear he is OK
As to falls, some amazing survivals have occurred in those; I suppose it balances out such cases as the first man to go over Niagra Falls in a barrel who slipped on an orange peel here in this city and died, and Mr. Pinkerton, who simply stumbled, bit his tongue, and died of gangrene. ( The former I know to be true - It's on the gravestone and is public recored here in NZ, though the latter is not fully confirmed I don't think )