Philanderers International

Here's another site that makes you wonder if it's real or fake: It's a service to help people who are married have extramarital affairs. My first thought was that it was a joke. But upon looking around it for a while, it appears legitimate. I wonder if any single people use this who want to have an affair with someone who's married? And here's an evil thought: if you ever try to cancel your membership, they could threaten to tell your spouse.

Sex/Romance Websites

Posted on Tue Jan 06, 2004


OK guys. Wait. There is a site that not only does not spam its members, but also does its best to stop spammers from coming on their site. It is legit. The site is Married Secrets. At first I was skeptical, but the more I looked, I was surprised at the quality of the women who put legit profiles there. AM was way too expensive. Check out Married Secrets.

Posted by Steve S  in  California  on  Wed Jun 03, 2009  at  03:49 PM
Regarding AM...whether it is legit or not, this little test illustrates the problem for men using the site.

I signed up for two accounts recently, one as a male, and one as a female. For the female photo, I found a picture of an attractive woman on the web and blocked out the eyes. This was a natural looking kind of photo and not like some on AM where clearly the person has posted some phony drop dead gorgeous model photo. On the profile, all I said was something like "need someone who treats me nice", and within 24 hours I had received 100 emails with guys wanting to connect to this imaginary person. On the male profile I posted, I've received nothing in the same time frame. So, whether this is a scam or not I can't really say, but I do believe that there are lots of profiles out there where people look nothing like they say they do, and may be using this site just because they are lonely and want some attention. It does not take much to get a bunch of horny guys to pounce on a female who represents herself as wanting no strings attached sex.

My view is that the site is not phony, but that the creators of the site are totally brilliant in the way they implemented it to take advantage of all of us wishful-thinking male suckers. I'd say the odds of a guy really being able to differentiate himself enough to 1) get the interest of one of these females, and 2) to actually find a female that they are want to spend time with are really, really low. Not saying it can't happen, but I think it is like having a single available woman on a battleship in the middle of the ocean with a thousand guys. Someone may get lucky, but your odds ain't good.

By the way...I did this little experiment after I stupidly gave AM about $70 of my money in an feeble attempt to hook up with some needy babe. My mistake, and all I can say to the creators of the site is "you got me on that one", but my motto from here on out is once bitten twice shy. your money and don't give AM your hard earned cash, or certainly do so with your eyes wide open.
Posted by Jim  on  Fri Jul 10, 2009  at  02:25 PM
Philanderers is real I met several woman from that site and had affairs with a few of them. Many of these woman are damaged... meaning head cases. So you must realize that for a man the pickings are few in woman and finding a good woman is even slimmer.
While their profiles mention walks in the parks and cuddling... the ones that actually come out and play are either teasers or head cases. The sex with the head cases is usually not worth it..
Posted by Jacque  in  Metro New York  on  Fri Aug 07, 2009  at  03:15 PM

First let me say. Guys, any attractive woman can walk into any bar on any night and find a guy. Why would an attractive woman need Ashley Madison?

I have a female friend who thought that using Ashley Madison would be a good idea. She is in a relationship and wanted to hook up while traveling on business. She posted her pic and hooked up with a guy, right away. The problem was that she left a pic of herself when she was a senior in high school and 125 lbs lighter.

She was waiting in a bar when the guy walked in. He had no clue what was about to hit him because he was looking for a "cute" 125 lb chick. She snuck up on him and to his shock and dismay saw my extremely obese friend. I looked on from the other side of the bar and laughed as the guy looked like he just saw a ghost.

She went upstairs with him and then complained to me later that he "couldn't get it up". Of course he couldn't, you are 250 lbs. My friend is a great person and a lesbian that was looking to experiment. Probably the last time for guys.

Again, what hot girl would need a web site to get laid? Its a site for guys, scamers and pigs!
Posted by Harold  in  NY, NY  on  Tue Sep 08, 2009  at  08:35 AM
Interesting comment that any attractive woman could find a lover, cruising bars and nightclubs. Well, the professional women that I have met, cannot cruise the bars. The online internet search is their best option. These women are married, as well as school teachers, professors, nurses and doctors, who are very concerned about personal scandal and fatal STDs. It is all a very complicated protocol, balancing discretion with knowing enough about your potential lover to manage the risks of scandal.

However, one comment is partially true, in that once you get past the shills, fakes, and lonely housewives who only want a chat buddy, you will eventually meet face to face with some "head cases". These are attractive women, but unpredictably prone to fits of rage. I found two such head cases, who were drop-dead gorgeous natural blondes who knew how to dress up like Barbie dolls, as for the Hollywood Walk of Fame. But first, they wanted a play date, somewhere private, in the sack. What's wrong with that? In both cases, as soon as the woman was sexually satisfied, feelings of regret and remorse crept into her thoughts. Instead of being allowed to take myself across the goal line, and enjoy some cuddle time in the afterglow, I was treated to surly recriminations or screaming fits of rage, as in "you're just using me for sex... you take too long to cum..." (This was after holding back on my climax, to get her across her finish line.) The other blonde, who coincidentally had a gorgeously thick pelt of bright, flaming red pubic hair, would actually swoon after multiple, screaming orgasms. At the time, I naively told myself "this is workin' out pretty good... as soon as she wakes up, she'll be one grateful professor". However, as soon as she regained consciousness, I had to pin her to the bed, in a wresting hold, to stop her from trying to beat me up. After she calmed down and promised not to hit me again, she casually pretended get busy getting dressed, while she scoped out my peripheral vision, snuck up on me, and let me see some stars! She probably got in a lot of practice with that sucker punch, meeting men, over the internet! Now, looking back at it, I can laugh about it. I never encountered blackmail or extortion, just irrational rage, that might possibly have escalated into a crime passion. Once behind closed doors, these head case women can possibly become quite violent, venting their pent-up rage.
Posted by Richard  on  Tue Sep 22, 2009  at  11:28 AM
That strange typo "crime passion" should have been typed out as a
"crime OF passion" as in

I never encountered blackmail or extortion, just irrational rage, that might possibly have escalated into a crime of passion.
Posted by Richard  on  Tue Sep 22, 2009  at  11:35 AM
If you go the Legal&Disclaimers; tab on the Ashley Madison Website, you'll see that they admit to their scam:
"From time to time this service may include, offer, or initiate winks, collect messages or instant chat from Market Researchers (Online Hosts) simulating attached or single men or women. These efforts are conducted for market research and/or customer experience and/or quality control and/or compliance purposes. Market research information is used to provide analysis, feedback, trends, patterns, social commentary and information in the aggregate and aides in the process of monitoring our system for compliance of our operating standards and code of conduct. Accordingly, Market Researchers (Online Hosts) will NOT be conspicuously identified.

Any interaction or communication with Market Researchers (Online Hosts) is independent of, and separate from, our general database of Member's seeking personal or physical or other kinds of encounters or introductions.

You accept and acknowledge that any written statements, mail messages or instant messages made by Market Researchers are provided for "entertainment" purposes that serve to enhance the user's personal online experience. If you do not wish to be contacted by Market Researchers (Online Hosts) go to 'Manage Profile', then 'Profile Settings' and check this option: "Check this box if you do not wish to be contacted by Market Researchers", then SAVE.

"Check this box if you do not wish to be contacted by Market Researchers", then SAVE."

I suspect the folks at Ashley Madison figure that most people don't bother to read this!
Posted by debonair  on  Tue Sep 22, 2009  at  02:46 PM
Ashley Madison site has many fake ads.
"Minty Fresh", "Dem?desire" are seem to be employees of AM. You get E-mail from them to pull you in to buy a minimum of 100 credit ($80), once you open the E-mail after paying 5 credits to read it, it reads "do you cyber?", "want to chat now?" and you will never hear from them again. The above two seem to be pretty chicks as well. I would like others to keep complaining about this rip off site and expose them to more idiots (all men) and general media as well.
Posted by NM  in  VA. USA  on  Tue Sep 22, 2009  at  10:32 PM
Just because you were shallow enough to get spoofed doesn't make all men idiots - only you. 'Nuff said.
Posted by Dex  in  TN  on  Wed Sep 23, 2009  at  03:54 AM
AM is very real. Yes, there are fake profiles, but they are so easy to sniff out. The trick to making AM work is to be patient, which is hard for us guys to do if we are horny and want immediate sex. I am a reasonably normal looking guy and I can write really well. Once every 3-4 months a woman is turned on by my profile and contacts me. Only then do I use my credits to send a message and encourage the woman to E-mail me off AM. I am chatting with a woman right now through my hotmail account. I signed up with AM over two years ago and have 1 credit left of the fifty I originally purchased. At first, I wasted many of these credits messaging women who either weren't interested in me, or, more likely, were fake profiles. But once I learned to sit back and wait for the real women to contact me (or occasionally I can spot a real woman and then I contact her), my AM experiences improved.

A couple other thoughts. I live in the middle of Missouri, so there aren't many women to begin with. I imagine if you live in LA, or Chicago, or NYC, there's more action. Also, there are indeed like a hundred guys for each woman so it is imperative that you write one helluva profile. Not to brag, but mine is fantastic (I write and teach creative writing at the college level), so it lures in a couple women per year. But it is frustrating having to sort through the fake ads, the incomplete ads, and the half-hearted ads (I believe that many real women do create profiles but never really complete them fully because they chicken out).

In short, AM is NO scam. I have been in contact with half a dozen real women over the past two years. The guys who cry scam simply don't know how to work the system or do not understand the system (i.e. AM is a giant sausage fest so it's not surprising to have winks and messages go ignored).
Posted by David  in  Missouri  on  Wed Sep 30, 2009  at  02:17 AM
What, pray tell, is a "sausage fest" ?
Posted by Puzzled in Peoria  on  Fri Oct 09, 2009  at  02:39 PM



Posted by don jaun  in  toronto  on  Tue Oct 13, 2009  at  03:29 PM
From what I can see, even at the surface level, Ashley Madison is obviously fraudulent. Some posters at this forum have done impressive investigations. For example, the men who purchased two memberships, the second under an alias, identifying themselves as a woman.

However, I must ask, why has no one mentioned the specific method that members use to generate their online personal profiles at Ashley Madison? It is inherently very suspicious.

At Ashley Madison, new profiles are created from a template that can accept photos and typed text. But the template also includes many check boxes, arranged with long lists of preferences, perhaps a hundred or more. They cover such exciting choices as "like lots of foreplay" versus "too busy for preliminaries", or "has a settled love nest" versus "meets discretely at randomly chosen motels". These check boxes are impressively grouped in appealing arrangements, in the various categories of "Who I am looking for", "What turns me on", "My idea of a perfect date", and so on. Oh yes, the check boxes also let each member quickly and explicitly describe which sex acts they do or don't enjoy, and will or won't perform.

As a certain comedian asks-- Is that not a sign?

Further, at Ashley Madison, 98% of women's profiles are filled out, only by checking those boxes, although the site provides several areas to type text!

A "bot" computer program could be set up to check those boxes in different patterns, and automatically populate the site with thousands of fictitious members, with a dazzling variety of interests, aching to be satisfied. Are customers too computer illiterate, to see this? And needless to say, most of those check boxes, with their rather risque descriptions, doubtlessly have strong appeal for men.

The profiles on Ashley Madison stand out in stark contrast to other dating sites that insist on a writing sample, from a live human being. To take one example,, which is free, and accepts profile posts from anyone, single or married, straight or gay, or bi, or whatever. At PlentyOfFish, there are some checkboxes and pull down lists, for the dry stats like age, marital status, and so on. However, unlike Ashley Madison, PlentyOfFish requires a written paragraph, minimum of about a hundred words. It is very interesting that most of the profiles at PlentyOfFish are written by people who obviously find the written language very challenging. But they do post some text, and appear to have passed the CAPTCHA test! Many photos are hidden from public view, especially for the married women. Many profiles are almost incoherent, but almost all are plausible.

In contrast, the women of Ashley Madison are a strangely silent group, when it comes to posting their own thoughts, upon their profiles. They just check some boxes, and post, with no further comment. Shy? Not very literate, perhaps? Or completely fictitious?
Posted by V. Linksmann  in  Ohio, USA  on  Tue Oct 20, 2009  at  12:49 PM
AM is not a scam, it is a sausage party. The good news is if you're good with words you will get laid. I've also met girls on Craigslist- which guys will also try to convince me is a scam. I've learned from the girls I fooled around with that they will get 75-100 responses AN HOUR on craigslist. I don't know about AM but I suspect it's still 15-20. Line yourself up with 20 other guys- and all you're doing is sending off a pre-written, free wink message? some other guy (me) is writing her an actual email and spending the $1.25 to send it...who do you think she's going to write back to?

That said, I do believe there are fake women on AM trolling for you to spend credits. Try to remember that cliche, "if it looks too good to be true, it probably is"...
Posted by Paul  in  Denver  on  Wed Nov 04, 2009  at  01:50 PM
Recheck your information regarding It is 100% legitimate.

In chat its less of a hook up site and more of a support site for people already in affairs. Best part is people on forum and in chat are of above average intelligence and in most cases, looking for relationships and not just ONS.

Absolutely worthwhile site. But bring your game and your spell check. These people are looking for quality.

Met my MM there 6 years ago and the affair is still going strong!!
Posted by Lisa  in  chicago  on  Sat Nov 07, 2009  at  02:00 AM
I first tried AM a couple of years ago. Sure there are plenty of fake ads of women on there. Like who the hell would be attached and put their face pic on full display?? Or why do others show their pic but seem to have that same scratched out/blacked out area on the face??

I have had success. I would say I met at least 6 women in person. Had an affair with one for about 6 months(I decided to end it). Ran out of credits and signed up again then met another earlier this year. Have been seeing her not so much on a regular basis as before but we still get together at least once a month for sex. At the same time I was working on another one(planning to drop the one I was with) and had met up with her several times but it just seemed like our schedules would not work out to be able to have some intimate times together so I pretty much gave up on that. So overall, they're out there and I'm pretty picky so the women I've seen are not fat or butt ugly. You will probably waste credits responding to ads as you're basically in competition with 100's of other guys. Of the women I dated they said they received 100s of emails all the time and usually it was something I said in my initiation that set me apart from the others..that and they saw me as attractive to them. Good luck!
Posted by J  in  Los Altos  on  Thu Nov 12, 2009  at  12:00 PM
I've been using Ashley for years now and with great success and I do not have a photo posted in my ad at all, what I do have is personal content that is very specific in what and who I'm looking for.

Men in general are not being smart on the site and will messages females from a completely different city or state or yes even country and seriously guys ask yourself this,what married woman with a family is able to fly to meet and cheat???

I can not understand why Rob from California or Joe from Florida would message me in Calgary Alberta asking me if I am looking to meet considering that I've written that I'm seeking someone in my area.

Men are complaining to me about the women who contact them??? I recommend instead of sitting there and being lazy that you do some work search for women that are in your area. Read the profiles and see if she is looking for the same thing you are

Common sense guys that is what you need to use the site.

Oh and stop being so damn negative about your wives and calling them names because guess what??? we women are someones wife also and that just a big turn off.

Oh and yes your photos the number one turn off to me is when guys use photos of their wedding day, I think to myself what an a@@hole using his wedding photo and having the nerve to cut the bride out when it was more than likely that the brides family paid for the photo?

Posted by Female AM member  on  Sat Nov 21, 2009  at  09:55 PM
Oh number two turn off is the guys that feel they must take 15 photos of Mr. Happy from all different angles and send them to women who are actually expecting to see the man before the man parts!!!
Posted by Female AM membe  on  Sat Nov 21, 2009  at  10:00 PM
Crap...I just signed up for AM this week. Seemed like it might be legit b/c I've seen it covered on real shows and never questioned.

I have to say I'm not a believer. There is no way some of the hot young chicks I saw on the site are putting their faces out there and looking for guys. And most of the really hot ones don't have personalized messages or member feedback.

I think there are probably real women on there, but few and far between.

Lesson learned...
Posted by Michael  in  Philly  on  Fri Dec 04, 2009  at  08:09 PM
Ashley Madison - definitely full of fake profiles Beware of sites that don't allow feedback on the profiles (Ashely Madison only allows Positive reviews) I've contacted Ashely Madison a few times about credit sucking profiles that are scams - they don't do jack to fix the problem It's 95% scam - avoid it.
Posted by Jakes  in  Illinois  on  Sat Dec 05, 2009  at  08:51 AM
Ashley Madison is Ultra fake. There are nealy zero real profiles. Those that are real are just very average women. Even below average. I would say that about 1 percent of profiles on AM are real. They are the biggest sucker punch of the decade. Stay as far away from this super fake site as possible. Any messages that you have read which say that they have met hot women on AM have been generated by emplyees of AM. That should let you know just how far those fake bastards will go to get your money.
Posted by gman  in  Altana, Ga  on  Thu Dec 10, 2009  at  09:04 PM
re Ashley Madison,
You are all right , this site is mostly fake.
I bought credits 5 years ago , and go back to it once in a while , and I have had all collect mail, There was a time when I received the same photo by two different profiles. Also now that my credits are running out , and they want me to renew , I am very popular and receiving lots of offers. I have one lady that wont send any photos and doesn't care to see mine. I told here I might have only one eye in the middle of my forehead , and she didn't seem to care. I once also contacted on who replied , not now contact me later. Others had no response. What a pile of BS
Don't join this bogus site , there are many like that with fake profiles.
Posted by The Fat Bastard  in  toronto  on  Thu Dec 17, 2009  at  12:38 PM
I am also very surprised that some of you think AM (Ashley Madison) is a scam. I've been a member of the site for a few months now, I think its great, for the most part. I am in my early twenties, I posted only one body picture. If you're a guy you hasn't gotten many responses, Im sorry to hear that. Though, I have heard some guys mention a few cam girls on this site. I can only guess if you're not getting any responses, having no picture will do that, being way too forward, or maybe shes just not that into you. I've met a few guys on this site, I've now found someone I am very interested in and we've been meeting for about a month now. My expectations we're met on this site.
Posted by Krystal  in  u.s.  on  Wed Jan 06, 2010  at  01:29 AM
Female AM membe
myspace girl
Pauline Vera

You can also reply your phonenumbers/emails here! That is a lot faster and cheaper than using a dating site. Plus your responses prove you are actually a female looking for some... and not a scam.
Well, here I am! Keep in touch when u girls are in europe one day! Let's have a wild one!
Posted by Paullie  in  Europa  on  Fri Jan 08, 2010  at  04:17 AM
I have been successful using Ashley Madison (AM) but not before I spent about half of my $49. membership. Here's what I think may be going on in the experience of many of the respondents who feel that AM sucks:

1) No reply to minor overtures (winks, keys). The two women I have met as a result of AM both said that they receive dozens of these minor overtures in a week. They responded to my priority email because it was near the top of their inbox, acknowledged details in their profile and had a hook.

2) Phony profiles. The women I met were honest. However, two that I wrote admitted that they used misleading pics and "close" information in their profiles because they were trying to preserve their anonymity. This is not the fault of the agency.

3) Hypothetical profiles. There are some users of the free postings who are testing the waters. The honest ones label themselves "curious" or "only looking", but others only want to see who their hypothetical profile would attract. This is not fault of the agency.

4) Prank profiles. Judging from the language and discrepancies in the profiles (Send pics of your ... Age: 74; 4 ft 8 in, 210 lbs), there are some stupid users of the free postings. The agency should more actively screen these, but perhaps there are hundreds per week.

For those seeking an affair, the solution to issues 2, 3, 4 is to only respond to profiles posted by AM members. They have spent $49 as a commitment to finding an affair.

5) Dream profiles. Many complainers suggest that AM posts profiles of ideal members who may not be real. I can't deny this, but it is also true that escorts use this site. I have been contacted by babes thousands of miles away who are hoping to hook up when I am in town. AM claims to try to stop this "advertising" function, and it makes no sense to me that AM would then post their own profiles of dream dates. Again, the solution is to get an email interaction.

6) Chat inefficiencies. Do not ever, ever use chat on AM. It is a tricky interface. In order to save money, you have to shut off the stream while the other person is composing their response. Many users have not used chat before and their inability to be concise or to have figured out how they want to represent themselves is wasteful. Use AM chat to send them to your Instant Messenger or gMail account. By the way, a sincere and intelligent respondent will send you to their outside chat account immediately; this deserves a gracious acknowledgment.

7) Active inactive profile. I can't confirm, but if you activate your inactive profile, it seems to start a process that informs others that you are online and active again. They may respond before you inactivate your account again. The rapidity of posting newly activated profiles makes sense if the agency is trying to show that they have action for a profiler. I don't understand why some posts here consider this a "scam".

Good luck out there.
Posted by Ed  in  Portland OR  on  Sun Jan 17, 2010  at  11:40 AM
I have to confirm that is a complete scam. I keep getting Collect messages from Bot-like profiles. I accepted one, and it was just a generic convo. I would ask her where she is from, and she would say California, and then I asked why she was interested in hooking up with someone so far away(I'm from Philadelphia), and she says nothing. From then on I received many fake winks asking me to use up my credits so I can buy some more. I guess they tracked that my credits have stood still for a while. Don't give AshleyMadison ANY OF YOUR MONEY, you're better off on a phone chat or something.
Posted by Geez Louiseee  in  Philadelphia, PA  on  Thu Jan 21, 2010  at  07:55 AM took money for payment and will not respond. I have sent many emails with no results. They are a complete fraud I am afraid.
Posted by any  in  MI  on  Thu Jan 28, 2010  at  03:24 PM is clearly a complete rip off. They allow you to set up an account and see the suppoed new profiles however when you pay, your account never gets activated. Looks like a pure scam to me.
Posted by Steve  in  Boston  on  Fri Jan 29, 2010  at  09:59 AM
I actually met two women, both from out of town who came to NYC on business. That said, I did as another did, sent 20 emails to women in Boston with a key to my pic. Humbly said, am a former athlete and look pretty good in beachwear and a surf board. They were all supposed to have been on line within 24 hours (or currently on line) two days, not one response. This site is bizarre.
Posted by Mike  in  New York  on  Fri Feb 12, 2010  at  10:48 AM
Ashley Madison is a scam --avoid, avoid, avoid!!! ESPECIALLY GUYS, we're their main target. I wasted money for nothing. Everything you've read is true! Just take that money to a bar, especially if you're on a business trip. Trust me, dudes, this _IS NOT_ the way.
Posted by Truth  on  Mon Mar 15, 2010  at  11:55 PM
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