The Museum of Hoaxes
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Mating Animal Crackers
image Unfortunately bidding has already ended on the UNBELIEVABLE Mating Animal Crackers on eBay. And they went for only $12.00. I would have paid more than that for them. Seriously. I think they would have been a great mascot for the Museum of Hoaxes. After all, I assume they were Barnum Animal Crackers, and Barnum is like the patron saint of this site. So it would have fit. But my guess is that they've already been eaten by now. (The best part about buying them would have been that I could have listed 'Mating Animal Crackers' as a deduction on my taxes for this year).
eBayFood
Posted by The Curator on Wed Apr 27, 2005
You'd think there'd be some sort of quality control at the factories that churn these things out.
Posted by Smerk  in  to mischief  on  Wed Apr 27, 2005  at  02:46 AM
Hmm.. got 'lochness' as my confirm word..

Oh, I'm sure there is Smerk, it's just that when you churn things out by the billions, there's bound to be a mistake or two.

Probably just as well. Can you imagine what sort of visitors the site would have if you had 'Pictures of Mating Animal Crackers' listed prominently?
Posted by Bobcat  on  Wed Apr 27, 2005  at  02:51 AM
I once found a lemon that looked like an elephants arse. Pity, that was before ebay...
Posted by Nettie  in  Perth, Western Australia  on  Wed Apr 27, 2005  at  06:24 AM
I've never seen elephant arse. Is it sort of like rhino arse?
Posted by Maegan  in  Tampa, FL - USA  on  Wed Apr 27, 2005  at  06:49 AM
I've got a huge bag of crackers, Alex. I've seen a few of these before, so I'll keep an eye out for you. wink
Posted by Winona  in  USA  on  Wed Apr 27, 2005  at  09:26 AM
You can mate your own animal crackers just by steaming one and molding it over another while it is still soft.

eBay, here I come!
Posted by andychrist  on  Wed Apr 27, 2005  at  10:16 AM
Alex, if it makes you feel better, those are NOT Barnum crackers. Barnum's animals have interior details, not just the shape of the animals. These crackers leave us guessing... is it a polar bear humping a bighorn ram?
Posted by Vincent  on  Wed Apr 27, 2005  at  10:25 AM
One of my college friends used to compose erotic scenes using gummy bears as the actors.
Obviously, he was a lonely guy.
Posted by Big Gary C in Dallas  in  Dallas, Texas  on  Wed Apr 27, 2005  at  11:24 AM
Surely, Big Gary C, no-one here would do such a thing...

eh, Winona?
Posted by LaMa  in  Europe  on  Wed Apr 27, 2005  at  02:13 PM
Why am I so darn turned on! I would have paid way more for these than $12!!!!! Holy hotness this guy is brilliant. He should start an erotic cookie business. Obviously he probably did it himself, but that is just awesome!
Posted by Erica  in  Seattle  on  Wed Apr 27, 2005  at  07:48 PM
If he didn't do it... then someone at the factory did. Wonder how many more of these are out there waiting to be discovered...

or to turn on Erica!

cheese
Posted by Mark-N-Isa  in  Midwest USA  on  Wed Apr 27, 2005  at  08:09 PM
Actually, I think he really found them like this. I love animal crackers, and I know that many times there are a few in the box that are stuck together. My friends and I have found our own mating animal crackers before. Too bad I didn't think to sell them on ebay, I ate them.
Posted by Razela  in  Chicago, IL  on  Wed Apr 27, 2005  at  08:33 PM
>>>He should start an erotic cookie business. <<<

He could include green m&m's with the crackers...


I got a box of Animal Crackers the other day, and there was a little note on it that said, "Do Not Eat if Seal is Broken". I open the box, and sure enough...the elephant is fine, the tiger is fine, but the seal, broken right in two!

Thank you, tip your waitresses, I'll be here all week!
Posted by Barghest  on  Wed Apr 27, 2005  at  09:39 PM
On the dashboard of my Chariot of Fire, I keep a pair of the Mego action figures, of the TV show Star Trek. One is of the Capitan James T. Kirk, and the other is Senor Spok. They have almost 30 years, and have travelled many miles with Raoul. They have seen many things, none of which they will tell. My problem is this: the Llamas who accompany me on this tour to which I am enslaved, put my Kirk and Spok in positions like the one of your animal crackers. It causes much the uproar at the tour stops, and many people say that I am crazy. It would be much worse, to put them in the glove compartment, or on the back shelf by my Roberto Clemente bobble head. The Llamas need no more cervezas, this I know. Rrrraoul
Posted by Raoul  on  Wed Apr 27, 2005  at  10:38 PM
Barnums are the yummiest crackers.
Posted by Maegan  in  Tampa, FL - USA  on  Thu Apr 28, 2005  at  10:05 AM
"Do Not Eat if Seal is Broken".
How could you eat them without breaking the seal?
Posted by Big Gary C in Dallas  in  Dallas, Texas  on  Thu Apr 28, 2005  at  06:06 PM
well, the REAL ones are now for sale

"Animal Crackers Caught in the Act of Wild Love Tryst!"

from the listing:

I was a little surprised and walked over cautiously and sure enough the noise was coming from inside the box. I put the bat down and picked up the animal crackers. The box was shaking in my hands. I opened it expecting to find a mouse or something inside but to my surprise all I found were these

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5583323042
Posted by Steve L  in  oklahoma  on  Sun May 22, 2005  at  02:55 PM
I just put a pooping animal cracker on ebay smile
Posted by Loni  in  Virginia  on  Thu Oct 15, 2009  at  06:53 PM
http://cgi.ebay.com/Animal-Cracker-Taking-a-Pooh-Crap_W0QQitemZ130337626159QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item1e58ba582f

Pooping animal cracker on ebay smile
Posted by Loni  in  Virginia  on  Thu Oct 15, 2009  at  06:54 PM
I've got two sets of animal crackers humping. Would anyone really want to collect these? Cuz I will totally put them on ebay, if there's a market. I wouldn't eat them, though, because I've kept them in my makeup case and they smell like powder.

Posted by Eva  on  Thu Jul 01, 2010  at  01:05 PM
Ok then I have a good one for you. This week I found a Elephant doing a Donkey. Can you see the political jokes in that. I have it saved and I might sell it on ebay but I will need to get the word out that it will be there.

This is no joke. You can not make this stuff up. I would have done it the other way around if I had made it myself.

Does anyone know where I could have it tested to certify the fact it has not been fooled with?
Posted by BK Lett  in  USA  on  Sun Jul 25, 2010  at  02:47 PM
I have have just the other day found a mateing animal crackers. Looks to be a sheep on a cow. came right out of the bag that way. If anyone is interested. Get in contacted with me i could use the money. Tell me where to send a pic. Steven
Posted by steven  in  USA., Arlington,Texas  on  Sat Jul 02, 2011  at  02:55 PM
I do not know what this is about. It showed up on my facebook a couple of years ago and I deleted it. I am now getting lots of emails about this and I never had a "pooping" animal cracker or anything like that. Please take off the comment w/ my name on it about the pooping crackers. This is embarrassing. Thank you.
Posted by Loni Dixon (THE REAL ONE)  in  Chesapeake, VA  on  Sun Jul 03, 2011  at  08:04 PM
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