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Unfortunate Last Names
I've always thought my last name was pretty bad. And I mean that in the literal sense. 'Boese' means 'bad' (or angry) in German. But its meaning wouldn't matter much if only English-speaking people could pronounce it (it's 'burr-za', as if it had an 'r' in it... not 'boose'). But I shouldn't feel too sorry for myself, because this guy in Brazil, Mr. Reinhardt Adolfo Fuck, has me beat hands down. As far as I can tell, that really is his name. He must get endless jokes about it.
Identity/Imposters
Posted by The Curator on Thu May 20, 2004


I knew a girl in middle school whos last name was pronounced Beg-a-vitch. but the teachers would never write it for some reason.
Posted by Jeff  in  kentucky  on  Wed Jul 02, 2008  at  08:44 PM
There were football players in the world cup with the names of...
Bossio, Neto, De Harder, Grip, Wolff, Rough, Pardon, Angel, Van Heel, Popov (pop off), Robotti, Perfumo, Titchy, Jelinek (indeed), Chumpitaz, Bats, Springett, Boy, Junior, Costly, Oh, Rats and Gu Sang Bum.
Posted by A. Nonymous  in  Ireland  on  Thu Jul 10, 2008  at  02:10 PM
I had a middle school teacher named Harry "Burger", I don't remember the proper spelling of his last name, but it was basically hairy burger.
Posted by Jeff  in  Florida  on  Wed Aug 13, 2008  at  04:47 PM
double phallic name: i used to work with a guy,whos name was peter johnson.

and mr. & mrs.pig named their baby daughter,iona
Posted by whiterabbit  on  Wed Oct 01, 2008  at  02:57 PM
As for aptonyms, where I used to work, the IT manager was named Matt Hacker. My former boss had two managers named Mr. Spring and Mr. Poole when she was a secretary at the water department.
Posted by Spartacus  on  Thu Oct 02, 2008  at  05:22 AM
We have dicussed the name Aaron Scott (S......) last name- which would make the child's initials A.S.S. -

While this has a small chance of provoking teasing during childhood, we both agree that it would be FUNNY to be able to initial things ASS.

When the teacher has students grade one anothers' papers - "pass your paper to your neighbor on the right, and put your initials on the paper you are grading' -- ASS.

When signing a mortgage (many initial spots) ASS ASS ASS ASS. Or a tax return ASS.

We will probably actually do this. We both feel that if it was our initials spelling ASS - we would make it benefit us and have a sense of humor about it.
Posted by gwebel  in  california USA  on  Sun Oct 19, 2008  at  01:07 AM
A neighbor's daughter went to high school with a girl named Asshole` (Pronounced Ash-olay). [What kind of people do that to their own kids?]
Posted by Bruce  in  Virginia  on  Sat Oct 25, 2008  at  11:50 AM
OK, here's mine:

I knew a girl who's stepfather's name was Dick Swift.

I had 2 music teachers, Mr. Horne and Mr. Piccolo.

We had a math teacher named Ophelia Dick (TRUE!)

I knew a cardiac surgeon named Dr. Bloodwell.

I knew a PA named M. Butkus.

And, my last name (growing up in NY) was FUCHS (pronounced fewks).
Posted by Lori  in  Orlando  on  Tue Oct 28, 2008  at  02:39 PM
There was a boy in my 3rd grade class named Brent Sweeney.
I guess it was a lot more funny when I was 8.

And there was a couple that I graduated with.. Their names are Kristin Koch (coke) and Matt Bonar (bonner). Haha. I would have never even bothered if I were them.

And then there's my grandmother's name.. Marilyn Carolan.
Most of us Carolan's pronounce it "Care-oh-lin" but my grandma refuses to say anything but "Car-lin". I guess I don't blame her. [:
Posted by Jourdan Carolan  in  Iowa  on  Thu Dec 11, 2008  at  01:17 AM
I know a couple of gotta laugh at people... Sandy Muff out of Vernon BC, Anita Dick out of Manitoba, Spider Mann- my future sons name haha, Justin Uras of Calgary, Unis Aichelle another future child name of family, Collen Gay from Calgary, Jack Horse- reason for this one comes from the saying--- If jack helped you of the horse would you help jack off the horse?, Ken Moore I don't know where you live!, Richard Begone, and Yu Mi Wee Fite who was in a newspaper article.
Posted by Brad  in  Calgary  on  Sun Jan 25, 2009  at  11:00 AM
I've always liked the names:
Mike Oxmall and Mya solebernz.

Mike Million 2-18-2009
Posted by Mike Million  on  Wed Feb 18, 2009  at  05:28 PM
When I was in grade 8, I had a science teacher named Ms. Knott
To which everyone on the p.a. would pronounce MISS SNOT
Posted by Nicky B  in  Vancouver Canada  on  Sat Feb 21, 2009  at  04:04 PM
While singing in choir, I've come across a composer named "Richard deLongis."

I'm (somewhat) proud to say that I was the one in the choir who noticed this.
Posted by Alex  in  Hartford  on  Thu Feb 26, 2009  at  02:15 AM
I used to do business with a guy named Dick Blewitt. I think he used Dick instead of Richard just to watch people squirm when he said his name.
I also know not one, but two people named Larry Lawrence! Finally, I grew up with a Brian O'Brien.
Posted by Lee  in  Boston  on  Tue Mar 24, 2009  at  08:24 PM
tongue wink these r all hilarious
Posted by piper  in  Waterford  on  Tue Apr 21, 2009  at  11:16 AM
I remember a Harry Dong running for ILWU president a few years ago.
Posted by James Eduard  on  Mon May 18, 2009  at  07:42 PM
I hate even doing this because she is a friend...but she got married and goes by the name Ball-Savage. Also...her Dr's name is Dr.Finger.

One of my favorite is my dads Dr. Dr.Balldoc
Posted by Mike  on  Thu Jun 04, 2009  at  08:17 PM
It is a pity that the guy has such a name.Just like it.
Posted by Jess Holroyd  on  Sun Jul 12, 2009  at  11:18 PM
My middle school teacher was named Mr. Weed. Unfortunately his first name was Richard.
Posted by Heh  on  Tue Aug 11, 2009  at  04:19 AM
In Kindgergarden there was a boy named Dick Hunt. He was a junior and when I was married my husband worked for his father Dick Hunt, Sr. The wife would refer to them as "little Dick" and
"big Dick" and the two respond to their names. Who would name their son that?
Posted by Imagine That  in  Northern California  on  Mon Sep 14, 2009  at  07:43 PM
I almost dated a guy whose last name was Schnegelberger
Posted by Amber Jones  in  Houston, TX  on  Thu Oct 08, 2009  at  07:11 PM
In the 8th grade, I had a teacher named Sylvia Pussey. She pronounced it pew-say, but to a bunch of 14-15 years old, that didn't make a bit of difference. She didn't last the school year. I wondered how she made it through her school years.
Posted by Charlene Dussy  in  Las vegas Nevada  on  Mon Oct 12, 2009  at  03:43 PM
I wanted to comment on the second comment on the first page. The comment about Speedy Nutz, he is my grand father and he is indeed real, however his brother was not named Fuzzy, it was James, he was also a dentist but he was a dentist in Escondido, CA.
Posted by Zachary Bahen  in  Eugene OR  on  Fri Dec 25, 2009  at  07:54 PM
clearly, you got it way ahead of the Brazilian guy. lol. LOL
Posted by clarissea  in  Phoenix, AZ  on  Tue Jan 12, 2010  at  11:23 PM
my second name is hooker
Posted by neil  in  barnsley, england  on  Sun Jan 17, 2010  at  12:24 PM
always thought my maiden name was pretty bad--it is Steinke (pronounced stein-key). Yeah, my nickname was stinky. At least I was a girl and could marry out of it...so I married "up" to Cornforth...HA!
Posted by M  in  illinois  on  Fri Jan 29, 2010  at  08:54 PM
I have a friend who's last name is Drunkinbrod....I bet wis wife gets a lotof jokes.
"Hello...I'm Mrs. Drunkinbrod."
Posted by Alan  in  Florida  on  Sat Jan 30, 2010  at  08:21 AM
my second name is hooker and i got a make called caelan (KlAn) and every 1 calls him gaylan cos it sounds like his name (i forgot the words that means they sound the same grrr
Posted by neil  in  barnsley, england  on  Tue Feb 09, 2010  at  12:52 PM
I had a teacher called called Mr Death. It was pronounced "Deeth", or so he said. If you had the nerve to call him Mr Death, you were issued with a detention. So we kept it behind his back.
Posted by waldron76  in  bristol, england  on  Thu Feb 18, 2010  at  07:09 PM
There's also a Scottish footballer called Paul Dickov, who doesn't get nearly enough praise for his name. And Thomas Crapper, who didn't actually invent the toilet, but certainly manufactured them, is a brilliant aptronym. And the word "crap" predates him, which makes it all the better.
Posted by waldron76  in  bristol, england  on  Thu Feb 18, 2010  at  07:28 PM
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